Februari 09, 2017
♪ (no audio) matt: welcome back, guys. i hope you enjoyed your--your holiday. hope you enjoyedyour new year and are ready to tackle all thechaos this year has coming. both fists forward. so, missed you guys. last we left offwas a little crazy,
but before we getto that circumstance, let's go ahead and startwith our announcements. yay! (cheers) first and foremost, ourfirst episode of the year is sponsored by ushappy to be back. we have nosponsor tonight. marisha: happiness! matt: so sponsored insteadby viewers like you.
so... thank you. but, yeah, so otherannouncements we have. me and marisha will be runningfrom this episode tonight to pack and leave at a superearly, pre-dawn flight. pretty much, or atdawn flight, to magfest. we'll be there gettingin later tomorrow, and be there this weekend. so, those of you who are goingto magfest, we'll see you there.
we have-- laura: is that what it is,just a lot of magazines? matt: just a lot of magazines. -taliesin: people, us weekly.-marisha: oprah. matt: we pretty much gotin there only because of the articlein game informer. that's the onlyreason we were invited. no, magfest is great. we have a critical rolepanel tomorrow evening
that me and marishawill be doing, and other fun stuffsaturday and sunday. so, look for usin the schedule and we'll look forwardto seeing you guys at the actual event. travis, you wanted tomention something real quick? travis: yes! i wanted togive a quick shout out to kathy creshe, creshaw, i don't knowhow to say it.
taliesin: that was a good shout out. travis: from pennsylvania. sam: big fan of the show? travis: we love you,from us, to you. -laura: we read your email.-travis: it was wonderful. travis: sam! sam: uh, yeah, tonight's sponsoris critical role, as you said, we have lots of stuff. lots of merchandiseavailable in the store.
the logo shirt, mugs,patches, nail wraps, hats, key chains, andnecklaces are available and if you didn't see itover the christmas break, we have thegilmore shirts and the "how do you wantto do this?" shirts and you guys know this, we have a big spanishspeaking fan base, and i wanted togive them some love, so i thought i'd do ourad tonight in spanish.
two notes, two notes,i don't speak spanish, and second noteis my neighbor's son translated this for me. so, he's in spanish two. should be pretty basic. travis: not, "he's spanish too." sam: no, he's-- he's asophomore in high school. hola, me llamo sam riegel. aquã estã¡ mi perro. se llama travis willingham.
una broma. â¿te gustan las camisas t-shirt? espero que sã porque tenemos dos camisast-shirt para vender en nuestra tienda. una es color morado. es para gilmore's glorious goods. (laughter) la otra no es morado, es gris. tiene el slogan de matthew mercer,which is... â¿como quieres hacer esto? no cuestan muchos pesos.
tu vas a ir internet y comprar ahora. â¡gracias por favor! (applause, cheers) -travis: muy bien!-marisha: yay for spanish two! taliesin: high school spanish isthe official language of los angeles, well done. travis: a future translatorwill then, like, show up? -sam: i don't know.-taliesin: it'll be insulted. actually, yeah, it'llactually google translate
and will be like,i refuse to even touch this. sam: it's for ourspanish language viewers. -there are many.-travis: that was great. matt: this is true.thank you so much. anyone else? oh, i want to announcereal fast too. we received quite abit of critmas gifts after we had filmed thecritmas episode last month. so, as we're slowly retrievingthem from the mailbox,
me, marisha,taliesin, and possibly anybody that's availableat the time, liam, laura will bedoing a periscope opening of the rest of those gifts in the next coupleof weeks or so. be announcing itahead of time, so pay attention tothat, but it is coming. so, don't worry. we'll be gettingto your presents
and thanking you for all yourawesome unnecessary generosity. you're so wonderful and we'll let youknow once it's happening. anybody else have any otherannouncements they want to make? -travis: hands up!-sam: uh? travis: hands up! matt: alright, great. that being the case. -marisha: i don't know---liam: i don't know what this--
matt: let's go aheadand dive in. to the first 2017episode of critical role. taliesin: ♪ do you believein life after-- ♪♪ (growling, screaming) (electricity crackling) matt: hello, everyone,and welcome back. so, getting us up to speedwith the current circumstance that we left off atthe end of last episode. vox machina,the main adventurers,
spending the betterpart of this past year under the shadow ofthe chroma conclave, a group of ancientchromatic dragons that havebanded together, seemingly under the bannerof thordak, the cinder king, a great red dragonthat had been sealed in the fire elemental planefor a number of years. newly released andcarrying with him what was calleda soul anchor.
a magical artifact made fromthe heart of a fire primordial that had begun tocause him to mutate and swell and become somethingbeyond what he was. also driving himapparently insane. as he dominated thecountryside of tal'dorei, along with therest of the conclave, you gather artifactsof great power called the vestigesof divergence under the guidanceof two sphinx allies.
you travel betweenvarious planes and gatheringthese artifacts gathered allies and prepared forthis climactic confrontation in your home city of emon, now partially broughtto ruin and flame. you assembled an army. you snuck beneath the city. you arrived within the centerof the cloudtop district nearly under the nose ofthordak's defending hordes,
and through a climacticseeming sacrifice by your friendskashaw and zahra, were allowed to passdirectly into the cloudtop heading off thordakbefore he could emerge from his subterranean lair and lay waste to the armies as they pushed inwardtowards his lair. travis: when you say it like that. matt: there you all did battle
with the great colossalthordak, the cinder king. a well preparedfight rolled out and while therewas much danger, you all persevered and managedto, using the vestiges, destroy the soul anchor once it was revealed within thebody of the great red dragon. his form rescindingand withering back to its regular,seemingly withering size. you-- it attempted toflee back into its lair,
but the rather rapid andtemporarily winged rogue, vax'ildan gave chase and dealt a finishing blowto the great red beast midway through its caverntowards its lair. there you were joinedbriefly by your sister and an ally you had made throughthis circumstance, raishan, one green dragon. the member of the conclavethat seemingly had made a tenuous alliance with you
as her goal also wasto destroy thordak. aiding you in the battle,raishan followed suit and upon the corpse ofthordak laying cut, bleeding and dead in thecenter of this cavern, she wished to take her endof the deal you had made. to be left alone withthe corpse for a moment to acquire somesecret knowledge that apparently she was seekingfrom the dead dragon. upon releasing theenergy from the scroll
which she had utilizedthe incantation from, you decided that vengeancebeing your oath as a paladin and the history thatyou have with keyleth and keyleth's peoplethat died under the guise of raishan's initialplotting with thordak to not let this creaturestand and attacked it. both you and your sister, justas keyleth began to arrive. the rest of the partyslowly staggering behind. raishan sneered and wentfurther back into the cavern.
you all gave chase into thisdark, volcanic tunnel system which then opened up intoa large, red flaming cavern filled withlava pools and rivers, and apparently ahandful of red eggs, it looked like scatteredthroughout this room. thick dark redcrimson scales with crystalline formationspouring out of the sides. very similar to thordak'sprimordial dragon form. upon finding not raishan,but just this empty space,
you looked upto see a series of arcanesummoned meteors suddenly given form, rocketing from theceiling of the cavern and slamming into the floor dealing some of youa pretty dangerous blow and sending you scatteringacross the floor a bit. vex being thrownacross the way. you all managed to survive asat the end of the last battle,
i'd forgotten thatyou had made your save and you actually, yourbludgeon damage was halved, so vex is conscious,though still hurting. -sam: ♪ whoo ♪-liam: ♪ whoo ♪♪ matt: as the dust settles and you all take stock ofwhat had just transpired, you see the snout ofthe green dragon pull up into what appearsto be a series of dark volcanicexhaust tunnels
that seem to be likea hive network of-- of honeycomb type tunnels that just spiral offall through the ceiling, and that's where we left offin the last sequence here. sam: geez, louise. matt: which, previously, behindif i'm--if i'm correct, and i believe i am, andif not, internet, it's fine, we'll--we'll dothe narrative. we have the threeof you in the room.
we have percy, scanlan,pike and gilmore rushing up behindas fast as they can. grog and kimahad stayed behind to finish up one ofthe more recent battles and jarret isjust not going in. he is not in aplace to follow suit. "you got this, you got this. do not worry, it's okay." liam: before we ran intothe bigger chamber,
gilmore and jarret had caught upwith us if i remember correctly. matt: no, they did not. laura: oh, they hadn'tgotten to us. liam: i rememberthat they did. matt: no, they would have gotteninto the chamber with you. only the three of youmade it into the chamber. liam: that's what i mean. matt: they got into the tunnel, but they hadn'tgot up to your guys.
the speed in whichyou guys all got there was basically just raishanand the three of you, then theattack happened. raishan rushed in,you rush after her. everyone else has kindabeen left in the dust. they're not toofar behind you, but things be as they may. we begin tonight's episode at this nextround of combat.
continuingwhere we last did. laura: oh, god, oh god! -marisha: jesus christ.-travis: oh god, oh god, oh god. -matt: so---sam: why from there? you're fine. -taliesin: no, stop, don't.-marisha: yeah, police. matt: so, at the top ofthis combat round, technically, percy, youhave the initiative on this. you are continuing to pushthrough this-- this hallway.
you haven't quite even,at a double dash, you can hear explosionsin the distance and then you guys watch assuddenly smoke, silt and ash come flying throughthe tunnel from within immediately followed by thesound of these large, heavy, banging explosions. some sort of heavy impact, a series of impacts seem to havedetonated deep within the tunnel and immediately set everyonein the vicinity on edge
knowing that somethingis still transpiring in a very dangerous waydeeper within this tunnel. taliesin: i am throwing on my mask andi am running into the room. i'm actually gonnabe spider crawling. i'm gonna be on the-- onthe walls so that i'm-- yeah. i don't want to be in the lineof anything that happens. marisha: that's awesome. liam: spider percy'smy favorite percy. matt: it's just the feet, percy.
marisha: ♪ spider percy,spider percy ♪♪ matt: you can if you want,if you really want to. sam: he's likewalking like this? -matt: yeah.-taliesin:running. sam: cool! taliesin: this ain't dr. strange,this is-- liam: he's doing this andnothing's happening. taliesin: out of fluid, you know. liam: if anyone can make it,it's you.
taliesin: i know, i got to make-- i gotto make spider-- spider percy. matt: so, anyway,that ends your turn. you--you run paston the side of the wall, as the ash begins to settlearound you as you run past, kind of preparing your weaponsfor a coming confrontation, you glance out to your right and see there the smolderingwreckage of red scales and dragon blood that was oncethordak, the cinder king. you see that anddown it's about--
you keep running. you can see a gentle glimmer inthe distance of a battlefield, but you're notquite there yet. taliesin: okay. matt: okay, the topof the round. the three of you findingyourselves in this circumstance. we go to the lair actions. so, these lair actions are-- laura: oh god.
matt: of thordak's lair, as thisis not raishan's lair, but even thoughthordak is dead, the lair itselfhas its own natural, naturallyoccurring dangers. -travis: damn it!-matt: so. sam: what? that don't makeno sense, man. thordak's dead. his lair dies with him.
matt: over time! maybe, you don't know. travis: his home securitysystem still pays for it. -laura: yeah.-matt: exactly, yeah. it's-- it's on a recurringsubscription plan. so, there will be-- taliesin: how do i pee? matt: the lava that you hadjust landed across. so, vex'ahlia, as you areknocked from the explosions
of the meteors fromlanding on your back, and just barely gettingback up to your feet, your vision comes back asyou see the stream of lava that's justbarely pouring past. very slowly begins to... laura: i back up, i back up. matt: as it opens and sprayshere at 20 foot radius. laura: i climb back upand i bump an egg. matt: i'm going to bringout my templates.
taliesin: no. laura: this is gonnakill me, isn't it? matt: this will explodeand all three of you-- i need you all three to makedexterity saving throws. -marisha: oh, boy.-taliesin: yay. marisha: this is great. laura: cool. this is-- is this-- taliesin: first roll of 2017.
-laura: oh, wait, i'm hasted.-marisha: twenty total. -sam: twenty total's good.-marisha: yeah! -laura: seven.-liam: twenty-seven. matt: okay, that's fine. so, as it is a hotter, moredangerous vicinity here, the damage is higher, but youall managed to make your saves, so you're onlytaking half damage as you all avoid fromthe spray of magma that just bursts out andsplashes in your area.
liam: evasion keeps meat zero, yeah? matt: yes, because you haveyour rogue evasionness, and it'sthree ones, alright. -laura: yay.-taliesin: yay. matt: so, that'll be 18 points offire damage reduced to nine. (indistinguishable dialogue) marisha: i mean, i'm not, you know. -laura: still terrified.-marisha: taking it for granted. (talking over each other)
yeah, yeah,something like that. or five, it's debatable. depends on thehealth of the people. matt: next up in the initiativeorder is raishan. laura: oh, good. matt: so, as the splash happens, you glance up and youcan see what looks to be a series of maybe a dozen orso of these volcanic lava tubes that kind of are these--
these caverns roughly thesize of a very low live, kind of pushed incat-like raishan. you see the head and the tailkind of hanging out the side as raishan beginsto mutter some sort of an incantationunder her breath. you hear the echo... (whispering incantation) between the room as it kindof quivers for a second. and her formjust vanishes.
travis: damn it. liam: but we saw where she wasbefore she went into-- matt: you did. sam: fight over, that's it. that's great. laura: oh my god, she--she ran away. sam: alright, let's mopup here and go home. travis: punk ass, raishan. marisha: the air ate her.
matt: i guarantee you that'sprobably not the case. no. travis: you're sayingthere's a chance. matt: yes. alrighty. marisha: dude. taliesin: just shunned herinto invisibility. matt: great. that brings us nextto keyleth's turn.
laura: keyleth, just kill her. find her and killher so we can get-- marisha: whereaboutswas she last? matt: last you saw was upin this cavernous area roughly in thisportion of the ceiling. marisha: but we can assume she probablywent invisible and then moved. liam: yeah. marisha: i could do faerie fire on her, but i mean, i don'tknow where she is
and it's a 20 foot cube. it'd probably be a waste. so, instead, i'm goingto cast call lightning at fourth level, and go fire elemental. matt: okay. -sam: how's that work?-laura: it's an ongoing-- lightning is an ongoing-- marisha: yeah, it's a concentration.
yeah, i can make it-- sam: so it just exists there? -ready to strike?-taliesin: like a ghostbuster. sam: cool. matt: so, as you watchkeyleth's eyes flare with this bright electrickind of blue yellow light, as the ash and bit of dust that has been kind ofplummeting from the ceiling from the impact ofthe meteor swarms
and the movement of somenow not seeable dragon amongst the ceiling caverns. it gathers intothis swirling storm that begins to buildand form across the top domed portionof this cavern. as it does, you watch boltsof electricity... arc through the stormas keyleth's form then whooshes into a burstswirl of flaming energy. her physical body now becominga swirling fire elemental.
you wish to move or you'regonna stay where you are? marisha: i'm going to take a fewsteps back and-- question. can i look upand see if, like, the clouds are kind of shapingaround like a, you know, roughlydragon shaped body? that make sense? taliesin: she's looking fordisturbances of the force. matt: sure. marisha: you gave me that"this is bullshit" look.
taliesin: roll a 29. marisha: oh, that's not bad. with perception,perception. sorry, i'm so nervous, 26. matt: twenty-six. glancing about betweenthe dust that's falling, the movement of the stormthat you've gathered at the roof of the ceiling, you don't see anythingthat identifies
the locationof a dragon now. marisha: yeah, so it's fine. so, i'll take afew steps back. matt: so you'reabout right there? marisha: yeah, oh, oh. taliesin: wow, it'sweirdly mirrored. okay, thattook me a second. -marisha: it's totally mirrored.-taliesin: yeah! laura: oh!
-taliesin: yeah, i know, cool.-liam: your screen is flipped. -laura: that's crazy.-marisha: it's fine. it's not a problem. taliesin: we have thesame view you do. laura: it's actually, no,i think it's better, because we're looking atit from his perspective. taliesin: so, we can saylike, "move us down," and they'll betowards him now. yeah.
-marisha: i'm sorry, so move me---matt: further in? marisha: yeah, down-- down. sam: towards the lavaor away from the lava? marisha: right there,down one more. -other way.-taliesin: south. -laura: oh my god.-marisha: south. yeah, that's good,that's-- that's good. -taliesin: there.-matt: good, alright. laura: where's our pointer?
matt: where's yourlaser pointers guys? taliesin: where are our pointers? we need new pointers. laura: it's beenthree weeks, matt. matt: it has been, i know. sam: we've forgotten how to play. matt: that's okay. alright, so-- marisha: it's like inverted controls.
taliesin: i'm taking diva. matt: now, is that your turn? marisha: yes. matt: alright, finishingkeyleth's turn. that brings us to gilmorewho's rushing up past-- laura: come on, gilmore. matt: keeping up his paceas much as he can. "oh, boy. i know you guys takeme to the nicest places."
and he's justjogging as best he can. rushing into the ash cloud as another one pushes through. some of the windtending to push and causing swirling littledust devils of ash and cinder. that's gonnaend his turn. vex, you're up. laura: oh. -matt: so you glance up.-laura: i glance up.
matt: you see all this happening,what are you gonna do? laura: i'm gonna get on my broom. taliesin: get on up. laura: and i'm gonnatake a health potion. -matt: okay.-laura: so... matt: regular health potion? laura: i have a greater. -matt: okay.-laura: i have one greater. so, that's a what?
4d8? matt: a greater is 4d4 plus four. remember you guysare pretty low on any powerfulpotions at this point. you used mostof them, so, yeah. laura: yeah, yeah, i hada greater left. it's jack shit. ten, ten whole points. matt: there you go,ten points of healing.
on your broom. laura: i'm gonna go backtowards the entrance. post up to the entrance, like off the groundas far as i can get. matt: that's about asfar as you can get. you want to stay hovering orjust like there on the ground? laura: hovering! stay off the groundand can i-- matt: are you going upten feet or 20 feet
or are you stayingjust above the ground so you're notstanding on it? laura: i'm gonna go up ten feet. laura: and if i can be a little bitfurther away from keyleth, that'd be clutch. laura: i mean, i don't knowif it'd be clutch, but it would be helpful. can i look up, and see ifi can see like,
dust coming downfrom any of the holes, to see if raishan is moving around in the holeson the ceiling-- matt: roll a perception check. liam: there's a storm cloud. laura: i know, i know. is thispertaining to dragons so i wouldget advantage? -laura: that's the same thing.-liam: two 13's.
laura: so, perception,so that's 26. matt: okay, so glancingabout, unfortunately, the gathering of thecall lightning cloud combined with the otherdark ash-filled interior, you don't see anythingthat signifies the locationof a dragon. you do glance overand you notice that where youlanded previously, one of the eggs was prettymuch just destroyed by this--
'cause it was the areaof the meteor swarm where you guys were hit. so, all gathered here, so this egg right hereby where you were, is currently just crushedinward and filled with rock. -marisha: and---laura: really? is there anythingoozing out of it? marisha: yeah, what's-- laura: i should havelooked at it before.
matt: it's hard to see,it's far away, but it looks like theegg has been destroyed. -laura: destroyed?-sam: destroyed? laura: she doesn't careabout the eggs. sam: or she didn't destroy it. liam: not the mama! laura: okay, so i've got--i'm so sorry. marisha: that's true. travis: so, it's covered with rocks.
laura: i don't knowwhere my notes are to see what myspells were from before. i didn't have it set upcause i'm a horrible person. marisha: but that wasfrom the lair action. sam: yeah, that wasn't her. laura: okay, this is--this is the last one. oh, i didn't do likeany spells before. so, i'm gonna cast-- i'm gonna castcure wounds on myself.
what level? marisha: yeah, but does shecare or even not care? taliesin: we'll find out. laura: i'm gonna castit at third level. laura: so, that's 1d8-- 2d8 plusmy spell casting modifier. -matt: so, a 3d8 technically.-laura: 3d8? matt: cause if you'recasting at third level, it's 3d8 plus your spell modifier. laura: okay.
travis: that's good,that's good, that's good. marisha: this is turning intoa jerry springer episode. is she or isshe not the mom? laura: no, my modifier, which is my wisdom. ten plus-- jesus christ,i'm sorry! taliesin: three weeks, man. laura: thirteen points heal. marisha: it's like riding a bike,riding a bike.
liam: three weeks tostew, everybody. matt: alright, there you go. at the end of your turn-- actually she's gonna do-- taliesin: it's like riding abike with pen and paper. you feel this strange, sudden warm tingling sensation separate from the healing spelljust in your vicinity. almost like a warm breezejust kind of passes through you.
that's it. -sam: oh, boy.-matt: end of your turn. -sam: what does that mean?-laura: i don't know. sam: you've beencursed forever. -travis: it's a bloody fart.-taliesin: farting dragon. invisiblefarting dragon. laura: what if thatwas a baby dragon? liam: i'm gonna take to the air. i'm going to-- do istill feel hasted yet?
matt: you-- yes, you do. liam: i'm going tofly past my sister and slap the one greater healingpotion i have into her palm. laura: oh, thank you. liam: oh, superior,excuse me. laura: what?! liam: and theni'm going to curve around over keyleth and stab the egg there withthe dragon slayer blade.
-sam: oh, boy.-matt: this one? -liam: yes.-matt: okay. sam: stabbing eggs? taliesin: that should give you adragon slayer bonus also. matt: go ahead androll for attack. travis: isn't that poaching? liam: that is 29. matt: that hits. sam: go home travis, you're drunk.
travis: i'm working on it. laura: the babies willhelp us though. what if thebabies are cute? -can we raise them?-taliesin: no. marisha: you want to try anddaenerys this shit? taliesin: we can raise themby setting them on fire. marisha: we each get one, you guys. liam: twenty-six. matt: twenty-sixpoints of damage.
alright, you take theblade as you rush up and then hack through it. the blade onlygets a few inches into the tough outerexterior of this egg and you have to pushand carve through and you do carve a-- a sliver through the egg's shelland a little bit of deep, brownish-maroon liquid begins to spill outof it, but that's--
it's not a heavy amountof damage to the egg. liam: i'm gonna take whisperand take that further. matt: go ahead and roll for asecondary attack. -liam: that is 28 to hit.-matt: 28, that hits. i'll mark the eggs thatare damaged and destroyed. this one is... liam: that's a total of 15. matt: oh, that's notworking too well. good to know. total of what?
-liam: fifteen.-matt: fifteen, okay. with that much damage, the eggbegins to crack even further. more of the liquidbegins to spill. the blade pulls throughand you can see, as you tear a chunkof the actual shell of this egg offand it falls, you have punctured somesort of thick amniotic sac. that's what the fluidthat's spilling out of it, but you haven'tseemingly touched
any sort of fleshor creature within, but the egg is currently hasa section that is exposed. liam: and i have--ifi'm still hasted, i have a lot ofmovement left, so i'm goingto fly and hover about 15 feet abovethe egg towards you, towards your dm tapeon the side there. -matt: over here?-liam: yeah. liam: fifteen feetin the air.
i have 120 feet ofmovement total hasted. laura: so, we were lining up? we're seriously lining up? liam: no, i'm all theway over there. -laura: no, you're in a line.-liam: that's not where i want to be. i want to be-- matt: i know, i'm-- i'm calculatinghow much movement you have. liam: i'm arguing withher, not you. matt: ah, no worries.
liam: cause that's what we docause we love each other. matt: you can getright there. liam: okay. fifteen feetin the air. matt: fifteen feetin the air? liam: that's not the egg thati'm talking about though. laura: look, i'm talking about-- liam: i'm talking aboutthe egg closer to matt. laura: yes, there it is.
-liam: there.-laura: that one! liam: this is wherei want to go. laura: that's whereyou are, dude. liam: that's over there? laura: yeah, it's reverse. liam: it's the--it's theflip screen is-- i don't wantto go there. i want to go acrossfrom everybody. it's the flip.
sam: guys, just don'tlook at the tv. look at the screen. matt: over this way? travis: closer, matt? liam: i'm gonna kill you all. matt: bare with this, new tech. new year, we'remaking this work. liam: there, there. the egg that's there.
taliesin: i have a brilliant solutionfor this for next time. matt: so, from there-- yeah. you wouldn't beable to make it there. liam: literally, in game. sam: invert controls. travis: it's like a jet fighter. -marisha: battleship.-taliesin: we can battleship it. next time, next time, we'lljust have a row of letters and a row of numbers.
-says move me up to l7.-laura: i can't use inverted controls. sam: i only use inverted. laura: really? taliesin: isn't that a great idea? matt: destroyed. taliesin: that was amazing. matt: this egg has onecrack in the side there. okay. laura: did you just markon your cool eggs?
travis: he's using dry erase. matt: wet erase and, you know. it's fun. taliesin: it's either thator lick them. sam: how many more times are wegonna play with dragon eggs in a year? travis: did you have us ontiny plastic eggs? matt: yeah, so i orderedway too many. i put a bunch in my cartto make sure that i-- i didn't knowwhich one to get
and then forgot about it,came back and was like, "oh shit, i gotto order that." ended up buyinglike three bags full. taliesin: what am i gonna dowith all these eggs? matt: we'll have eggplastic giveaways. that endsyour turn, vax? alright. at the end ofyour turn, vax, you feel the effect ofthe haste potion dissipate
and your body, all of a sudden,goes from this hyperactive, very familiar modeto extremely lethargic and you find yourself havingto fight to catch your breath. so, you can't takeany actions next turn. -can't do anything.-laura: oh, it's the potion. matt: it's the potion,it's not the boots. liam: the boots, right. matt: kima is trying to keepup pace with you, grog. you're still inyour large form.
how long's that last for? travis: let me check. enlarge: 10 minutes. matt: yeah, alright, so you'relike bounding through. kima's falling behind. as you guys both enter,and continue past you hear the explosions in thedistance and all of a sudden, the rolling of smokeand ash rushes past you. the smelldoesn't bother you
cause you've had the smellof burning beard hair most of thisclose to your nose. what was once yourgreat bush beard is a little tighterto your face now. travis: what? you've taken a few dragon fire breaths to the face. the fact thatyou have any hair is by the grace of yourancestral history.
that dwarvenbelt you have. travis: i know, that's why it's so precious. matt: but are you just going full sprint to catch upwith everybody? -travis: yeah.-matt: alright. travis: i'll just roll it. i still havepike with me, right? matt: pike is comingwith you, yeah. 'cause you picked her up.
so you're justrunning with pike. kima's justlike, "damn it!" left in the ash. you, while you were behind,you, with your full speed, being faster than everybodyelse in this group, you almost catch up entirelyto percy and gilmore and pretty much on theirinitiative count going forward, or at least of the arrivalcount in the next round. that finishes your go.
let's see. you were after vax, right? travis: yes, no, no, i wasright before vax. matt: right, so i got a little outof order, sorry, my apologies. alright, so anyway, it wouldn'thave made a difference. so kima goes for a run. pike. is pike doinganything on your back? laura: yes. pike's gonna heal you.
-travis: who?-laura: you. -travis: me?-sam: ran away. -laura: yeah, she's---liam: oh, wait, she's with him. -laura: yeah.-matt: he's carrying her. liam: nice. travis: i got a little backpack. marisha: i was just gonna say,is she yoda-ing you? travis: yeah. marisha: is it like a yodasituation, that's awesome.
travis: the force. that was terrible. matt: that was prettyawful, actually. sam: hi, i'm yoda. travis: i think that'shis brother, carl. laura: she's gonna cast cure woundsat third level on him. taliesin: that seagullssong is so great. laura: so, that's three d8's. marisha: one of the best thingsthey've done in a while.
taliesin: one of the best thingsthey've done in a long while. laura: ooh, that's pretty good. sixteen plus her page, her modifier. what is-- oh, that's-- travis: wisdom? laura: that's my page. liam: clerics are-- matt: wisdom, wisdom. five, so add five to that.
laura: plus five, 18. -twenty-one.-matt: there you go. travis: thanks, pike. laura: "oh, you'rewelcome, grog." -liam: you know.-laura: well, you know. matt: scanlan. sam: i will run... my 25 feet, and then pop a potion.
just a normal potion of healing'cause that's all i got. matt: so, that's a 1d--2d4 plus two. sam: okay. ooh. 2d4 plus two? matt: yep. sam: five. matt: you healfive hit points. sam: great, i'm up to 70.
matt: are you-- are you doinganything else on your turn? are you dashing? sam: can i use my action to dash? matt: yes, your action tomove again, essentially. i will do such a thingcause i don't even know. i'm just followingpeople and-- matt: yeah, you're a little bit behindand you're pretty much-- grog has caught up to you, and you guys are just behindgilmore and percy at this point.
sam: okay, i'm infront of grog still? -matt: yeah.-travis: damn. (laughing) matt: well, he wasrunning while you-- (breathing heavily) sam: objects in the mirrorare gigantic. matt: okay, at the endof your turn-- sam: i die. matt: vax.
you, as you fly over withyour wings in the air, looking down at the egg. you feel this suddenwarm wind pass through you. laura: what is that? marisha: fuck, is that her? matt: you don't quite--it seems sourceless, but it just seems tofill you and leave. laura: does it feel good when ithappens or does it feel like-- matt: it's just different.
it's already a hot, likeyou're all sweating in here, so the fact thatyou feel something, like, warm briefly comparativelyto the temperature around you is what catchesyour attention. it doesn't hurtor damage you, but it justseems strange. taliesin: i don't like any of this. marisha: i don't like any of it. sam: it's menopause.
laura: it's natural. liam: you ruined the surprise. travis: i cast menopause on you. liam: i'll pretend likei suffer it myself. -matt: okay, good.-travis: you bastard. matt: percival, we're up at thetop of the initiative. taliesin: i'm running myway in there. matt: alright. percival, at a full run.
if you go full run,you'll manage to get just barely insidethe cavern about there. matt: right there. -taliesin: that'll do.-matt: so, that'll be your turn. there's still a bonus actionif you have any use for it, so. taliesin: i don't really have-- mostly i just want touse my bonus action to take in everything andlook around and have a-- have a good, goodserious look.
in fact, i'll eventake a perception roll if i can have one. -matt: go for it.-taliesin: okay. sam: just a goodsit and think. taliesin: let's get-- okay,no never mind. that's pretty good. wow, it has been a while. -twenty-five.-matt: twenty-five. glancing around,you see a fire elemental
that briefly startles you as you kind of whiparound in that direction, but you recognize-- marisha: and like, it's gotantlers, and i'm like... (grunts) taliesin: i love hannibaltoo, it's great. eggs, dust. matt: yeah, you see eggs. one is destroyedand just leaking out
and like a seriesof boulders and what looks likesome sort of a large, concave impression on the top. there are eggs scatteredthroughout the area. there's a giantstorm cloud gathering in the roof of the cavern, and there is thelarge pool of lava with the smallpool over there. you see occasional glimmers
of what look likecoin in the distance. taliesin: can you put me,like, on the wall just cause i don'tthink i'd be-- i was still spider crawlingso even on top of the littlewall thing, if you want. matt: sure, i'llput you there. sure, why not, percy? -taliesin: thank you.-matt: you're welcome. taliesin: that makes me happy.
liam: how high is it to theseholes in the ceiling from-- matt: i'd say it'sabout 60, 70 feet up? -laura: okay.-taliesin: cool, cool. matt: yeah, the whole cavern'skind of domed like this. alrighty, then,that's percy's turn. another lair action'sgoing to transpire. sam: oh. this one's a good one. this one heals everybody.
matt: yeah. there is a fissurethat erupts over in thisside of the room. the ground kind ofcracks open and this-- you've seenit happen once. a plume of poisonous gasfills this space here. laura: it's okay, we'reimmune to poison. matt: let's see. i need-- i need you, vex,
to make a constitutionsaving throw. laura: even i'm immune to poison? oh, no. marisha: really? even with hero's feast? -sam: oh, no.-marisha: oh, shit. laura: i got plus twofor the ring. so, 11. sam: eleven.
matt: okay, good, i'llkeep that in mind. taliesin: that's a number. it is now... travis: what does that mean? what does it mean? laura: slowly my skin startsto melt off my body. matt: yeah, you just-- the cloudkind of fills the area and you startcoughing, that's it. it hasn't gone your turn yet,so, it is now raishan's turn.
legendary actionsare restored. taliesin: i hate all of this. oh, good, i was worriedabout her legendary actions. marisha: are you being facetious? taliesin: i don't knowwhat that means. laura: who's turn isit right now? -it's raishan's?-matt: it's raishan's turn. deciding what to do. taliesin: i don't know themeaning of the word.
matt: um... sam: this is fun. just good, clean fun. matt: percival. matt: as you're runningalong the wall, and you glance in the vicinity, you see the cloud of poisonkind of burst from the ground and you're justout of the range of it. i'm sorry, it's just withinyour range from where the--
taliesin: i'm wearing my mask. matt: yeah, you haveyour mask on. taliesin: i don't know if it actuallyhelps, but there we are. travis: you look fabulous. matt:so, as you're standingkind of amongst this-- this fume, you see thiswithin this, this cloud, a kind of strange burst of very,very faint light in your area and you feel, evenin this heated room, a sudden surge of heat withinyour kind of torso region
and then it fades. laura: what does it mean?! it's freaking methe fuck out. travis: she's blazing us, ya'll.she's lighting us up. laura: what if it's like-- travis: doesn't hunter's mark feellike something sometimes? laura: oh my god,that's right. what if she's like markingus for death or something? matt: you now can faintlyhear what sounds like...
there are footsteps movingthrough the tunnels, but you're unablein the current chaos and the obscured visionto see where it's happening but there is movement happeningabove you throughout the cavern. taliesin: my save versus magic would not helpwith this at all. cabal's ruin wouldnot help with this. okay, just check. that ends raishan's turn.
that's gonna bringus to keyleth. marisha: okay. really unsure of what's goingon, so i'm just going to... travis: laser pointer right here. laura: laser pointer. marisha: thank you. i'm gonna go to that egg righthere that vax was wailing on. -matt: yep.-marisha: and try and finish it off. matt: okay, you move up and asyou get to the edge of it,
you can see now the lightthat your body's giving off. so, the fire elementalis glinting off of piles of gold and platinum that arekind of gathered around the egg. about a third of it isstill submerged in volcanic rock and has been placedhere for quite some time. laura: don't let me die,i need to loot. matt: you can see the crack inthe exterior of the egg and the kind of thickpurplish amniotic fluid that is slowly dribblingdown like a--
like a slow moving molasses or sap from the woundleft behind by vax. marisha: i'm gonna dotwo slam attacks. -matt: go for it.-marisha: multi attack. uh, wait. those wereboth nine's. which is--so 15 total. -to hit?-matt: fifteen to hit? it does hit, yes.
marisha: okay, and that is-- matt: only because he pre-damagedit to that point. you're basically attackingthrough the shell of the egg. removed a portion ofits armor, so otherwise-- taliesin: you're punching adragon fetus right now. marisha: i am totallypunching a dragon-- taliesin: that's likeso eggs benedict. marisha: plus six,so that's a ten. fourteen,eighteen damage.
so, you plunge yourflaming fist into the fluid. you hear it immediately sizzleas your fist goes into it. you punch somethingdense on the inside. (groaning) laura: oh, you puncheda baby dragon. liam: good. laura: "good." -marisha: okay, that's my turn.-laura: in the head. matt: you did both ofthose slam attacks?
marisha: those were both--those my attacks. matt: you rolled a 15 and a-- marisha: i rolled two nine'sand i have a plus six. -matt: oh!-marisha: i rolled both of 'em twice. matt: oh, oh, so yourolled 15 both times. -marisha: yes.-matt: got you. then how much damagedid you total? -marisha: eighteen.-matt: eighteen from both attacks? -marisha: yes.-matt: okay, cool.
alright, so,with both slams, the first fist goes in andslams and hits something. the second time youreach in and slamming, you grab it and pull out, as you kind of yank out ofthe egg just a little bit, you see what lookslike the snout of a very tiny thordak essentially. but whereas the red dragonyou saw thordak, that was likepartially volcanic,
crystalline withthe burning eyes, this creatureis seemingly made from pure primordialfire and rock. this is a wholenew form of dragon. marisha: he made them clones. laura: what if he made--what if it's one for every memberof the conclave? marisha: how many are there? laura: there's five eggs,but one is crushed
and that would be raishan andthere would be nothing in it. marisha: wait, are we surethere was nothing in it? laura: i don't know. marisha: do you want to go check and seeif there was something in it? travis: covered in rock,we can't see. marisha: are there five--there are five eggs? sam: or he was making theirown basketball team. matt: there are five eggsthat you can see currently. liam: and they're all red,they're all red.
matt: they're all red, yes. laura: okay, well,they're all red. maybe they'reall thordak's. marisha: they're little clones? taliesin: if they're clones, maybe it's literally five newbreeds of dragon. laura: oh my god. travis: only one wayto find out. marisha: yeah, only oneway to find out.
-let's bust open another one.-laura: is it still alive? taliesin: what do you call thelittle chocolate eggs? laura: is it alive? marisha: is it alive or didi kind of kill it by-- matt: you kind of killed it. it's currentlylimp in your grasp. sam: hey, you killed a dragon. laura: good job. marisha: "i did it!
i got one!" matt: keyleth, thedragon snapper. taliesin: this is the like the westworldversion of killing a dragon. sam: how do you want to do this? sunny side up. taliesin: benedict. matt: perfect. you still havesome movement, keyleth, if you wantto move still.
marisha: i do, don't i. i want to startheading towards vax. matt: towards vaxthis way, okay. what's your movementin fire elemental form? -marisha: fifty feet.-matt: fifty feet? you get about there, however,unaffected by fire and-- marisha: and i'm, like, hovering. matt: you're comfortable in this. -marisha: it's like a spa.-matt: kinda yeah.
-it's tingly.-marisha: it's like a hot spring. matt: it's perfect. alright, thatends your turn. gilmore, just at a full rungets up to the side here, and is kind of flanking. he enters the space,pushes up against the wall and just kind ofsurveys the territory. he looks spooked butalso kind of in that, "well, we're here"type mentality.
looks about the room andgoes, "everyone all right? please tell meeveryone's all right." (coughing) (whimpering) "great." that ends gilmore'sturn as he just arrives. grog. (roars) you just come sprinting in.
travis: can i smack shaun'sass as i go by? going, "come on, shaun." -matt: sure.-liam: shaun breaks in half. matt: you aren't stealthy,and as you run by, shaun sees you aboutto swing and goes like, "fine." whack! might havedislocated his hip. he's like...
(strained laugh) "i'll charge you later." laura: that's gonna be a bruiseon the ass for sure. matt: you get about thereand you are-- pike is technicallyon your space, kind of clutchingto your shoulders. we'll say back here. little yoda backpack. travis: do i get anyadditional movement
or am i just here now? matt: you are a littlebit behind everybody. you've just now caught up toeverybody, and that's-- just your full double run and you just arrivedat the edge of the map. travis: "i'm here. let the piã±atas begin." sam: "okay, what's a piã±ata?" travis: "i don't know, i thoughtit was a celebration.
-is it not?"-marisha: you should ask sam. sam: hola, me llamo sam riegel. marisha: yeah, there you go. taliesin: â¿donde estã¡ la biblioteca? matt: alright, that'llbring us to vex's turn. laura: oh, okay, alright. matt: at the top of your turn, the poison hasfilled your lungs and while yousuffer no damage,
you are incapacitated. you are just ina coughing fit, almost fallingoff of your broom. like sliding offto the side and just... and you justcan't do anything. -laura: i can't do anything?-matt: nope. laura: it was a wholefucking turn? -matt: yep.-laura: gone. marisha: so, both thetwins have no turns.
matt: the poison hascompletely filled you to the pointwhere you're seizing. you feel the musclestightening up, and-- laura: it's not hurting me-- matt: it's not hurting you, butyou're unable to do anything. travis: sulfurous gas. it wrecks your shit. liam: welcome to hot pepper gaming. laura: that's good,because you know what?
i didn't haveanything planned and it would have been acluster fuck like last time, so fuck it. you currentlyare just kinda like... (gasping) taking a breath, your visionkind of blurs for a moment and you can see the doublevision trying to align. it comes in to focus and you see keyleth'sfire elemental form
kind of gliding across. you see the edge of yoursister currently shadowed against this cloud of toxic, sulfurous gas that is spewed upfrom the ground. you can hear hercoughing in the distance. you see a bunchof your allies now beginningto just show up on the outside of theroom's kind of lit interior, and it takes youthe full round
to kind ofcatch your breath. liam: no movement either, yeah? matt: let me doublecheck actually. i'm pretty sure... let me see here. can't move or take actionsuntil next turn, so no. alright, so that endsthe end of vax's turn. let's see, at theend of your turn. there is going to be...
liam: this is fucking-- (indistinct whispering) sam: did i--did i get a turn? no, i did mine already. matt: yeah, we're gonnaget to yours. liam: i'm still in the same position15 feet up that i was. matt: you are, yes. yeah, your wingsare just like... grog, you see thiskind of faint glimmer
of energy around you and you instinctuallykind of like... (growls) but no temperature change. nothing seems to happen. travis: do i smell anything? matt: you smell sweaty gnome on metal armor. -laura: "sorry."-travis: "honestly, really? i mean, come on."
liam: "i'm just a littlenervous is all." travis: "did you eat mustard pretzelsbefore this, my god?" liam: "maybe." laura: "you know howthey make me calm." travis: calm? sam: double ashley isthe best ashley. matt: kima's running, desperatelytrying to catch up. but she's not quitein the battlefield yet. it's pike's go.
liam: pike, pike,it's your turn. laura: okay, okay. liam: yeah, let's buff everybody. laura: yeah, so she's gonna cast--what she should do mass-- marisha: is there anythingthat could help with the stuff that hasbeen magically cast on us? taliesin: we don't actuallyknow what's been done. laura: oh, on everybodyand it's 30 feet. how far--
can she move up and get-- how many people canshe get in a 30 foot cone? matt: a 30 foot cone? laura: a 30 foot radius. matt: from where she is,it's six squares. liam: but she canmove forward. matt: she can move 25 squaresright now. she's beenon grog's back. she can kind oflike leap off and--
liam: but she could get closerto--to vex, right? laura: vex and percy and grog? matt: she's right here,she can move this way or this way orwherever you want. laura: let's-- okay. marisha: here, guys. travis: here's a pointer. marisha: laser pointer. liam: if she gets near vex,
then she can get grog,gilmore, percy. laura: maybe like in that area? -liam: yeah, yeah.-laura: or like, no. -liam: closer to percy.-laura: yeah! matt: this-- she'll just be on theoutskirts of getting percy and can get allthe rest of you guys. liam: keyleth as well? taliesin: she doesn'treally need it. liam: why not?
matt: she can justcatch keyleth. laura: yeah, sweet,that's great. then she casts beaconof hope from there. marisha: what did that do,oh, that was-- laura: that gives you advantageon wisdom saving throws, death saving throws, regains max number ofhit points for healing. matt: or it would, possibly. sam: oh, shit.
there's interferon. liam: gilmore stabs vax. laura: i'm hitting himwith the laser. sam: don't blind our dm. taliesin: i can't see the die, i'm gonnaassume it was an natural 20. matt: i'd roll again. there we go, that'swe're looking for. it's a natural 20,so yeah. there is a burst ofgreenish blue arcane energy
that just kind of... around pike as shetries to cast the spell. the spell fizzles. marisha: she got counter spelled. i hate her! travis: we're in ano magic zone. laura: no, it's just-- sam: no magic works here. don't even try.
laura: alright. travis: just ruins everythingi was gonna do. laura: great. taliesin: it's okay, she burneda counterspell. matt: scanlan, your turn. sam: i move as far as i can. -matt: you...-sam: did i make it in? matt: running up, you're likejust on the outskirts. you get caught up right aboutthere in the center of the room.
that's as faras you can get. sam: alright. can i yell out? sam: "where's raishan?" laura: (coughing) liam: "ceiling." travis: "i just got here." liam: "she's in thefucking ceiling, man." sam: "she's in the ceiling?"
liam: "yeah." liam: i'm sorry: alien. ceiling! marisha: they're in the walls. the goddamn walls. matt: it would have taken youmoving action to get there. you have a bonusif you want to take it. sam: bonus? bonus, i will-- shit.
taliesin: you'll shit? -sam: bonus.-liam: true to form. sam: no, i'll healmyself again. i'll do a second level. matt: healing word? -sam: healing word.-matt: go for it. sam: so that's 2d4 plus-- matt: 2d4 plus six, yeah. marisha: oh, yay.
sam: twelve, okay. marisha: that's better,that's good. good job. -sam: gerd jerb.-taliesin: gerd jerb. sam: great, i'll take it. back up to something. let's see here. that ends scanlan's turn. percy, you're up.
taliesin: alright, i'm gonna use animus and i'm gonna takesome potshots at that egg that's onthe other side of grog. -matt: over here?-taliesin: yeah. is that one of thedead one or is that the-- matt: that was the one thatkeyleth just punched. taliesin: that you justpunched through? marisha: uh-huh. taliesin: okay, in that case,i'm gonna keep--
matt: you see no other eggswhere you currently are. matt: except the onethat's right over here. you could technically fire atthe one that's across the way. taliesin: i'm gonna actually startwalking along the wall. this way asfar as i can go. liam: oh, he's stickingto it, yeah. taliesin: yeah. marisha: that's cool. laura: hey, look, an egg.
taliesin: and i know, like, i'm tooclose to shoot at that egg, but i can shoot at-- marisha: it's like aneaster egg hunt. laura: but you're above it. aren't you highon the wall? taliesin: technically, i amfar away enough from it that i shouldn't-- matt: do you want to gofurther on here or on this alcove here? taliesin: further like--like this direction.
i want tohead this way. matt: okay, so you're movingacross the wall. you end at aboutthere at full movement. taliesin: okay, and i'm tooclose to the egg to get a clean shotat it right now, right? -matt: well, i mean---taliesin: i've got some height, so. matt: yeah, you could-- taliesin: i'm using aone-handed, so. i'm gonnafire with animus.
i'm gonna take three pot shots at it with sharpshooter. shot number one. yay, that couldhave been terrible. -26.-matt: 26 hits. taliesin: should i just rollall three and then do damage? -matt: sure.-taliesin: okay. 26, um, 14. matt: fourteen does not hit.
-taliesin: that's fine.-marisha: oh, man. taliesin: and 16. matt: sixteen does not hit. taliesin: okay, i'm firing reallyterribly, but that's okay. liam: hanging off a wall. taliesin: hanging off a wall,this is new. let me get my dice. that's alright. twenty-three points of damageplus four psychic damage.
alright, so,first shot. it pierces through and actuallycracks part of the egg. you can see it's almostlike a spider spiral where the egginterior cracks inward. it pierces and alittle bit of dark liquid begins to pool out of it. that's as much as you makeas the next two shots seem to ricochetoff of its hard shell. taliesin: alright, that's my--
yeah, i'm just gonnause my bonus to reload and take some more shots. travis: ♪ dancing on the ceiling ♪ ♪ oh, what a feeling ♪♪ sam: best music video. sam: it's like a piã±ata. â¿no sã©? suddenly, the entirelair begins to shake. -travis: shit.-taliesin: goddammit.
matt: like this tremorbegins to emanate from the ceilingportion of this. pieces of rock begin to... fall from the ceiling. i need... the guys whoare flying, so, keyleth, vax and vex,don't worry about this. everyone else, i need you tomake a dexterity saving throw. sam: even me, i'mbarely in the room?
matt: it's a big radius. sam: i got one foot out. what is it dex--? matt: dexterity. taliesin: that's better. travis: ten. sam: seventeen. taliesin: fifteen. -matt: okay.-laura: five.
matt: five, okay. -pike...-laura: oh, i'm sorry. travis: grog both lose your footingand plummet backward. gilmore rolls anatural 20, he's fine. -laura: hey!-marisha: hey! matt: "oh ho. great dodger,since i was 12." yeah, percy, you mangeto just barely hold on without losing your the--
taliesin: thankfully myspider sense tingled. -matt: oh!-marisha: oh! matt: i almost want you tojust go home for that. taliesin: now i'm gonna fall. travis: a whole bunchof cheese here. that ends the lair action. laura: next turn with disadvantage. matt: it is now raishan's turn. laura: oh, that wasa lair action?
-matt: yeah.-laura: oh, jesus. travis: we should just callthat raishan's turn. matt: nah. you watch as throughthe cloud of lightning that's kind of swirling,a small dragon-like form just pierces throughmomentarily. it's still see-through. you can see the restof the swirling storm around it, but it's enough of thatpredator-like appearance,
where it justshapes and shimmies, or shimmersthrough the vicinity. it shimmies through. as it does, you watchthis claw kind of lift up as this lowechoing voice... (whispering in foreign language) laura: this is all ofus with the light. all of uswith the heat. taliesin: okay, what is this?
laura: it's gonna do something,i know it. taliesin: we're-- we're all-- matt: okay, 30 foot cubes. taliesin: we're all just gonna turn insideout and that'll be the end. travis: we'll all turninto chickens. taliesin: it's gonna be likejohn carpenter's the thing. travis: and then the eggs willturn into big chickens. liam: first, we'll allmash together. taliesin: and then get separatedout into equal piles.
laura: oh, geez. matt: yeah, 30 foot cube. i can only get-- she canonly get vex, pike and grog, but i need thethree of you to make a constitutionsaving throw. travis: constitution? laura: damn it! taliesin: ♪ constitution ♪ ♪ come on ♪♪
-liam: yeah.-laura: so, that's good. i don't getany bonus though. twenty-one? taliesin: nice. liam: oh, thank god. -travis: twenty-seven.-matt: okay, and pike? laura: oh, oh. you roll for pike. she gets the meteor.
i hope it's good. -it's a one.-laura: oh, no! matt: well, vex andpike both failed. laura: oh, that's as high as i getwithout a natural 20, man! matt: it's a spell dc of 22, i'm sorry. sam: whoa. matt: you and pike both suffer 57points of necrotic damage. laura: fucking shit! travis: oh, fuck.
matt: grog, you takehalf as much. so, it'd be 28. twenty-eight pointsnecrotic damage. suddenly, you feel thevery air itself go gray. the color is takenfrom your vision and your life forceis drawn out of you through abi-dalzim'shorrid wilting. -sam: horde wilting?-matt: horrid wilting. the air is drawnfrom your lungs.
you feel your skin crack andtighten against your skeleton. marisha: adele dazeem's-- matt: adele dazeem'shorrid wilting. travis: amazing, yes. change it, don'tever say it right. matt: that's what it is now going forward. laura: man! sam: are you alive? laura: no, i'm-- i'm unconscious,so is pike.
-both of us.-matt: oh, shit. well, pike isnot unconscious. (gasps) laura: pike came back. matt: wait, did her armorget used last battle? -i don't think it did.-laura: it didn't? travis: it got used once,where was it? taliesin: previously, ina previous battle. -laura: against?-taliesin: fire giant.
laura: oh, yeah. taliesin: how do i remember this? that's horrifying. matt: the fire giant of-- taliesin: at the battle at the-- -liam: in the fire fort.-matt: to the fort, yes. laura: oh, at fort daxio. -liam: yep, yep, yep.-matt: you are correct. laura: okay, so pike's alive.
-matt: with how many hit points? marisha: jesus, that was an eighthlevel necromancy spell. laura: no, no, no, she gotfive hit points. matt: so, pike is atfive hit points. laura: and are there any eggswithin 15 feet of her? matt: nope. laura: is there a raishanwithin 15 feet of her? -matt: nope.-laura: well, then, fuck it. matt: but vex plummets out of thepoison cloud off of her broom,
slams into theground and clatters, spinning and fallingto the ground not moving. laura: thanks for knockingover the little cube too. i like that added. taliesin: backhanding it, no less. -travis: damn.-matt: alrighty. travis: are there lasting effectsfrom adele nazeem's wilting? like are we halvedor anything? -matt: from what you know, no.-laura: "from what you know."
travis: it just sucks rightnow is all i know. everything just sucks. sam: jesus! laura: yeah. travis: okay. matt: so, that-- that is gonnaend raishan's turn. the form is still somewhatvisible, though, transparent. it took her full movementto even get to that point. marisha: and where is she,she still on the ceiling?
matt: to give you a position, right now... it's right there. sam: forty, fifty feet up? matt: though transparent. it's 50 feet up. travis: fuck. taliesin: oh, don't do that then. laura: oh, i just remembered. taliesin: you left the gas on.
travis: and she's 40, 40 up? matt: fifty feet up. sam: mm-hmm, mm-hmm. matt: so, keyleth, whatare you doing? i can still see her a little bit. sam: this is a dragon fight, guys. matt: yeah, you can barely makeout the-- the outline. marisha: okay, so sinceshe's in my cloud, i'm going to kind of like,
do one of those sidewaysarcing lightning strikes. just... and arc everythingright towards that bitch. matt: great, go for it. marisha: she just takesdamage, right? matt: for call lightning, no,you have to roll-- no, sorry, a creature has tomake a dexterity saving throw. so, what's your dc? -marisha: twenty.-matt: twenty?
laura: how many lightningsare heading towards her? matt: nineteen. total of ten plus nine. -marisha: yes!-travis: wow! matt: that's 4d10. marisha: yes, it is! -sam: whoa.-matt: lightning damage. marisha: yep, yep! 4d10.
-okay, i rolled that.-taliesin: you rolled well. marisha: i rolled okay. i actually rolled--did roll real well. you're right,i rolled well. nine, nine, 18. plus eight,that is 26 damage. matt: nice. you watch as the form tries topull itself back into the cloud, the cloud lights upwith this crackling
reddish pinkelectrical energy that then turns toa bright burning red as it arcs pastand slams into her. you watch the energy arc across the body ofraishan, the dragon. (snarling) taliesin: does she have to makea concentration save? -matt: she does.-taliesin: to remain invisible? matt: yeah, she's fine.
travis: "yeah, she's fine." fifty-seven. marisha: i still havemovement, right? matt: you do, yes. your full movement,you haven't moved yet. you just pulled itdown in that one moment. marisha: i am going to head towardsthe egg that got cracked open that's in the center there. matt: over there?
-marisha: yeah.-matt: okay. you can go allthe way over to it. marisha: can i do a bonus actionto like, examine? matt: i mean, you can make aperception check and look at it. if you want torummage through it, that'll probablytake your action. marisha: okay, i'll do just aperception check right now. marisha: twenty-three. matt: okay, assoon as you rush up
and get a glance at it, you can see that a lot of thedark, purplish maroon fluid that filled most of the egg is just coating theoutside of the egg's shell and there are a series ofrocks and pieces of rubble from the initialmeteor swam impact that has justsundered this egg. it's about half theheight of the others, it's just all that's beenkinda collapsed inward.
this egg is ruined. taliesin: so, we have two ruinedeggs at this point. marisha: and no sign of a-- sam: and one almost ruined. marisha: and no sign ofa dragon baby? matt: nothing you can see. marisha: alright. taliesin: might be just deepin there and flattened. marisha: flattened, yeah,that's my turn.
taliesin: could have justbeen a bad egg. matt: ending keyleth's turn,that brings us to gilmore. gilmore watchingthis happen, watching vex go down. let's see what he does here. (indistinct muttering) marisha: oh, that's funny. taliesin: like five ofthem in here. do something about this.
matt: okay, as raishan's formis up there he goes, (sighs) "not today, not ever!" and releaseshis hand like this and you watch as a burstof strangely shifting rippling arcane energysimilar to the same ripple that is shrouding raishan seems to kind of scatterup in that direction. he's going to attempt to...
marisha: come on. matt: with his successfuldispel magic, raishan-- the form becomescompletely visible now. the invisibilityhas worn off. and is now standingcompletely visible. as this happens, raishan... (snarls) "i will enjoy eatingthe flesh from your bones." did she say "balls"?
laura: yeah, definitely. matt: definitely said balls. no. marisha: dragon delicacy. matt: gilmore is then going to... gilmore goes fromexcitement to "shit." travis: not my balls! matt: he's going to-- knowing thetactics that are being used, he's gonna try to spread outform the rest of the group. over here towards thedestroyed egg across the wall.
that's going toend gilmore's turn. this brings us to grog. travis: uh, can i get up, please? -matt: you can.-taliesin: get on up. laura: get on up! travis: can i see vexsprawled out? travis: yeah, can i run to vex? travis: (humming) i have one really-- what'sthe really big potion?
-is it the superior?-liam: superior. travis: i have one of those. can i shove it in her gullet? matt: you can, it'll takeyour action to do it. you don't haveto grog, it's okay. i mean-- travis: okay, i want youto reroll a character. here we go. i'm going to takemy axe and--
yeah, i shoveit in her mouth. matt: superior, thatis 8d4 plus 8. travis: oh, i got to roll it? -matt: yeah.-travis: oh, gee-- oh man. laura: wait, 8d4. (indistinct) whoa, 17. -travis: twenty-four.-liam: plus eight. -travis: thirty-two.-laura: thirty-two?
that was insane, grog! matt: so with that, your eyescome into focus, vex, as you feel the clatterof glass against your teeth, the vial beingpulled from your mouth. you kind ofcough for a second. come into conscious as grog,in his giant form, cradling you like a tiny babyin his one giant mitt. just kind of smiles. taliesin: it's like aterry gilliam movie.
laura: "thanks." go rage! matt: alright, don't forget you dohave a point of exhaustion, as you've gone-- unlessyou've continued your rage this whole time,which you can, so never mind. travis: yeah, justrolling through. matt: you got that now. you're justlike a freak. travis: i might havechipped a tooth...
laura: all good. all good, all good. travis: like mentos and coke. matt: you're like drink it, drink it. alright, great,that ends grog's turn. vex, you are conscious,prone, but conscious. laura: god, okay. fuck. can i shoot from mylaying down position?
matt: you can, i'd say your attackswould have disadvantage. laura: okay, then i'm gonna getup on my knee and shoot up. cause i just wake up and seeher right above me, don't i? matt: yep, you do. laura: alright, theni'm gonna try to-- oh wait, i alreadyused brambleshot, or at least,i tried to today. matt: you did, yeah. laura: so, i'm gonna shoot her.
matt: do it! laura: can i hunter's markher first, though? matt: you certainly can. laura: hey! i don't getsneak attack. nobody's near her, right? matt: that was--that was great. gilmore rolled a 19 on the dispel. laura: nineteen?
matt: yeah, that wasreally good. laura: oh, that'swhat i rolled. -matt: oh, did you?-laura: as well. matt: nice, look at that, you and gilmore just synchronizing. -matt: and 19's your total?-laura: yeah. -matt: misses.-laura: fuckin' a. that one,i hope, 28. matt: hits. laura: okay, so 28on the second one.
oh god, what'shappening? marisha: i don't know. laura: sixteen plus threepoints of lightning. taliesin: i'm not gonnaplay that game, man. not playing. i'm not playingthis game no more. it's not the time. matt: did you include yourdamage for it being a dragon? so now you cansee raishan emerging
from one of thevolcanic caves. the storm'sswirling around her, as she begins topull back into it, you fire two arrows. one gets lost, the other one-- into the sideof her throat. laura: can i move--can i move... matt: you move three squares. laura: can i get on my broom?
matt: you get ontoyour broom, yeah. laura: like move aone square away. -matt: one square?-laura: yeah. away from grogand pike, yeah. like that makesany difference, but-- -matt: okay, perfect.-taliesin: it's a start. laura: thanks, grog. travis: (snarls) matt: ends vex's turn,vax, you're up.
liam: okay, just to clarify,so looking at the minis. the back side'sto me, but really, her face is pokingout of a hole, right? matt: like the front half is. liam: front half ofher and she's-- and she's at the roofwhich is 70 feet up, so maybe her head isdown, like, five feet out, ten feet out,something like that? matt: roughly, yeah.
liam: alright, i want to,and i'm--i'm back, right? -after...-matt: you have now-- yeah, you've regainedyour composure. however your otherpotion has now worn off. -you are no longer---laura: invulnerable? -liam: i want to fly---laura: oh! -liam: go ahead.-laura: my hasted had worn off, right? i just assumedit had, okay. liam: so, if i'm 15 feet upand she's, maybe, 65 down,
i'm within range forsharpshooter already. matt: technically, yeah. liam: so, and-- andlast question. when you do-- forduel wielding, action-- bonus action, but you toldme once you can reverse that and do bonusaction and action. i think. matt: the bonus attack is partof your attack action, so it's actuallyafter your--
liam: never mind then. i'm gonna flystraight at her face, and i'm gonna shove the dragonslayer sword into her mouth and i want to try to sever herfucking tongue out of her mouth. -sam: oh!-laura: whoa! liam: terrible. whisper, i'm gonna do the samething with the bonus action. that is 26. matt: twenty-six tohit, that hits.
liam: ten plus four,psychic damage 14. matt: fourteen points of damage. okay, so you gofor the tongue and you get theblade up to the mouth. suddenly, her looking down and having a very, very wide view of the entirebattlefield is very advantageous from her perspective. she sees you out of thecorner of her eye, she turns to tryand snap at you,
and the jaws come downand catch the blade. so, it doesn'tgo for the tongue, but you use that momentum toglide it up the actual tooth and jam it into the gum. you manage to slam up there and the blood spurtsout from the wound and-- rears back and so nowyou're kind of flying up by her face now. liam: i should have like10 or 15 movement left
with 60 for wings, yeah? if i was 15 feet up and shewas a little less than 70? matt: fifteen feet up, yes, butyou're also coming at an angle, which, you losedistance on that. liam: so am i at zero? matt: you're prettymuch at zero, yeah. laura: ooh, like rightin front of her face. -travis: just stay there like tinkerbell. liam: okay. all done.
matt: that ends your turn. travis: you are grounded. matt: at the end of your turn, she's going to useanother legendary action. to do a tailattack against you. she pulls part ofher torso out for a moment, and her tail whipsout in your direction to try and slam into you. that is a 19 plus,what is it, 32.
liam: don't think thathits actually. so i'll useuncanny dodge. matt: that's gonna be 24 pointsof bludgeoning damage reduced to 12,so there you go. alright, that bringsus to kima's turn. kima finally arrives. -marisha: kima!-sam: hey! travis: slow poke! matt: "seriously?"
that's her turn. travis: that holy avenger'sreal heavy. matt: so that brings us to pike. actually, no at theend of kima's turn, let's see here. raishan's gonna useanother legendary action to attempt anothertail attack against you, since you'rewithin range. -that is a...-liam: 10,000.
matt: twenty-one to hit. -liam: shit, it just hits.-matt: just hits? seventeen points ofbludgeoning damage. yeah, go and halve that. she's used all of her legendary actionsfor this round. travis: all legendary-- did you hear that? matt: pike. -travis: pike's up.-laura: okay. i think weshould do...
but okay, if shedoes flame strike can she focus iton the ceiling? or does it haveto be on the ground? matt: no, it can-- i'd say-- let me pull it upreal fast here. it roars down from theheavens in all locations, so it doesn't comeout of the floor, it comes out of theceiling, so yeah. so, it's herlevel five spell.
-liam: okay, aim it at---laura: at raishan? at raishan's butt,not at vax. matt: raishan currently,only visible, is about maybe10 feet or so of-- actually pullingout the tail attack, i'd say about 15 feet. so if she's careful, yeah, she could probably hitraishan and not hit vax. -laura: pike is always careful.-travis: so careful.
laura: she's the carefulest. matt: fair enough. so, wow, that'sa really big-- sixty feet, damn. travis: that's good shit. laura: so, that's 4d6plus 4d6 radiant. matt: it's gonna be close. yeah, roughly about55 feet up on the ceiling. with that 60 foot range,
she can just hit raishanwith the column, so yeah. -laura: okay.-matt: so that is 8d6 damage. laura: okay, wow. matt: go aheadand roll that. raishan makes a save-- laura: i roll five andyou roll three. matt: so a dexteritysaving throw. laura: oh, just kidding. matt: twenty-seven, i'mpretty sure that saves.
laura: no, i wantto roll some. i roll, i'll roll three. you roll five. -liam: eighteen.-laura: thirteen. matt: and also makes aconcentration check from your attack earlier. laura: thirty-five. -sam: no.-laura: no. -sam: thirty-one.-laura: thirty-one. -matt: thirty-one?-liam: yeah.
matt: so halfthat to 15. fifteen pointsof damage. marisha: benefit of the doubt. matt: alright, cool, got it. laura: why half? taliesin: she made hersaving throw. travis: at 27. matt: sorry. so, you just barelymove out of the way
as you watch a familiargathering of radiant energy up in the ceiling. you see the glimmerin the corner of raishan'sslick eyeballs recessed within thegreen armor-plated face. of the dragon asall of a sudden-- a great column of fireand radiant energy blasts raishan inthe side of the face. laura: and she's gonna backup towards the opening
towards theentrance a bit. -yeah, like right there.-matt: right there? that's as far asshe can get right there. cool. sam: does she havea bonus action? laura: she's got abonus action. -sam: heal herself?-marisha: is it healing word? laura: oh, yeah,she can, right? 'cause she can usea level two or less.
so, yeah,she'll do a level-- she doesn't haveany level two's left. she'll do a level onehealing word on herself. laura: oh, god, she'sat five hit points. -sam: yeah, i know.-taliesin: not anymore. laura: she's--she'spike though. this is whatshe would have done. -taliesin: she's now at---laura: i think. taliesin: what does thelevel one healing word do?
sam: it's 1d4 plus fiveor something like that. marisha: it does anadditional d4. marisha: right? no, sorry,just one d4. laura: one d4 plus five,so yeah, seven. taliesin: so, she's at12 hit points now. -sam: double dig!-laura: yeah. -marisha: double dig!-taliesin: that's-- sam: what's that look, matt?
travis: seven points ofhealing, so yeah. matt: cool, does thatend your turn? -travis: yep.-liam: yep. matt: good, scanlan, you're up. i don't know, man,this looks rough in here. i don't wantto be in here. i'll move forwardand to the left a bit. matt: that's about asfar as you can go. sam: sorry, to my right.
to the right,four to the right. oh, man. it's a rough fight. but we're winning,right, now, guys? we're winning, we don'tneed any help, do we? laura: (gasps) liam: did you forget? laura: i totally forgot! marisha: how could you forget?
it's like alli've thought about. travis: i will cuddle you,i will cuddle. laura: i even wrote-- taliesin: he's not gonna do ituntil ashley's dead. laura: i wrote a limerick. marisha: ashley is almost-- -sam: you wrote a limerick?-laura: for you. sam: for me? to do what? laura: wait, wait,i forgot i did it.
"have you heard taleof scanlan, the bold? he won't tell us his age,but he's old. with his blade,he's a slayer, with the ladies,a player, but if he picks up theflute, he's pure gold." marisha: hey! (applause, laughing) sam: alright, so i'm gonnado lightning bolt. laura: goddammit!
sam: i will-- i assume thatscanlan feels strange with a brass flutetouching his lips, because he's neverplayed one before. matt: this is true. sam: but does it still come out justas beautiful and pure as always? matt: roll a performance check. laura: i'm so nervous,i'm about to cry. -sam: thirty.-marisha: oh! matt: in the midst of this chaos,the rumbling of the room,
the sound of the lightningand thunder in the clouds, the falling of rock andsoot from the ceiling is drowned out bywhat sounds like the most beautifulclear flute. it just trills... (whistling) sam: ♪ call the dragon ♪ (all humming) ♪ call the dragon ♪♪
matt: you finish the songas you watch the brass glow. it begins tokinda give this-- this weird shine aroundit that begins to emanate this kind ofadditional warmth and light from itand then it dulls and the brassgoes to a very tarnished dark metal material. taliesin: it's amazon prime. it's gonna take three daysbut it's gonna be here.
sam: i've played better. matt: you watch the flute pingin the hallway behind him. -so that's your action.-sam: okay. as a bonus, i will-- boy, everyone'sdying, right? sam: pike's near me, so i'll turn and give her alevel two healing word. -matt: okay.-sam: as well. and i will sing to her:
♪ i've got mythcarverin my pocket ♪ ♪ got that sunshineon my feet ♪ ♪ when i dance andprance around you ♪ ♪ you just stop ♪ ♪ hoo! ♪marisha: ♪ hoo! ♪ sam: ♪ and i danceso very handsome ♪ ♪ and i sing phenomenally ♪ ♪ there's just somethingbout that gnome ♪ ♪ that makes me smile ♪
♪ woo! ♪marisha: ♪ woo! ♪♪ matt: alrighty. matt: pike takes her inspiration die. sam: uh, no, not inspiration,healing, healing. so, wait, i gotto roll or she rolls? matt: you roll for her. sam: okay, ooh. oh, boy. -sam: eight.-matt: she heals eight points.
sam: she's up to 20! -taliesin: she can almost drink.-marisha: she can drink next year. matt: alrighty, ending scanlan's turn,brings us to the top. percival, your turn. taliesin: okay, i'm going to... yeah, this is fine. sam: ♪ can't stop ♪♪ taliesin: i'm going to--this is fine. i'm going to takesome shots with animus
at that awful bastard at thetop of the cave. first shot, and i'm not makingit a sharpshooter shot, i'm just shooting. that's good too. oh, that's not bad, 24. matt: 24 hits. taliesin: alright. laura: look at all those potsof gold in the corners. taliesin: that's 13 points plus fivepoints of psychic damage.
taliesin: and another shot. travis: shot. taliesin: and that's, uh, that's-- oh, that's not bad. that's two points ofpsychic damage to me. matt: oh, buddy! -sam: he's already unhinged.-taliesin: so that's 54. so, that was likethankfully, just an ow! i'm just putting it away.
i'm just gonnatry and pull-- pull out the big gun and takeone last shot while i'm-- while i'm--well, actually, no, that knocks out myattacks, doesn't it? cause it's apsychic damage. matt: well, i was gonna say, the psychic damage doesn'tnegate your attacks. taliesin: i don't have timeto switch guns. no, cause the psychic damageknocks that out if i recall.
matt: no, psychic damagedoesn't affect the way-- taliesin: so, do i havetime to just try and get one morepotshot out or am i-- matt: was bad news prepared? taliesin: it was fine, itwas working fine. -matt: it was fine.-taliesin: yeah. nothing's broke,well, now... matt: now it is, yeah. taliesin: now that's broken, okay.
so, and now bad news,here we go. liam: come on, golden snitch! do it! taliesin: natural 20! -laura: yes!-travis: on cue! (cheering) taliesin: thank you, baby. matt: so, that'll hit. taliesin: yeah, let's--let's take--
let's take-- sam: weird criticalthings here? taliesin: i don't do anyweird critical thing other than doinga lot of damage. matt: correct. taliesin: although, where's my--i do have, okay, so-- that does alot of damage. -marisha: amazing.-taliesin: double dice. travis: come on,you deranged--
liam: find one thingand do it well. taliesin: not bad, okay, that's-- 31 points of damage. -matt: alright.-taliesin: that'll do. matt: very nice. taliesin: yeah, it's 4d12,plus six, so. and now i'm gonna hidebehind that dragon egg. matt: alright, so you move behindthe dragon egg right there. taliesin: yep.
oh, and that means i geta grit point back ah-ha! i can actually doa thing, that's good. okay, alrighty. sam: so, things are turning aroundever since that limerick. liam: watch this, i'm gonnaget turned into pulled pork right now. matt: well, it's thelair actions now. so in this one... taliesin: the earth itselfturns against us.
(rumbles) matt: from beneathyour feet, grog, you feel and you look downjust as the rock splits and a spray of--a tiny geyser of molten rock just sprays outward. you try and move outof the way in time, but sprays across you,pike, scanlan and vex. so i need you guys all to makedexterity saving throws. laura: you want tomake it for me?
sam: natural 20, 25. matt: whoo! that'll do. taliesin: there's nothingnatural about 25. purely artificial, you'vehad work done on that 20. -sam: this is la.-taliesin: this is la. marisha: lot of la thingsright back to back. -it's overwhelming.-taliesin: man. travis: 21. -matt: 21? succeeds.-laura: twenty.
matt: succeeds, pike? liam: eleven for pike. matt: pike doesnot succeed. sam: 20, 25. matt: succeed, alright, so, youguys who all succeeded, you take 12 pointsof fire damage. half of youare resistant. -sam: so six.-matt: just six. pike takes 12 pointsof fire damage
because she's resistant eventhough she failed her save. -laura: okay.-marisha: oh, that's good. that's good. laura: so she's still up. -sam: she's still alive!-taliesin: she's still alive. sam: because of me, let's justgo on record and say that. taliesin: i'll go with that. liam: can you sayit in spanish? sam: no, i cannot.
-taliesin: pike.-sam: yo no soy marinado. alright, that brings usback to raishan's turn. laura: oh god, oh god. matt: gets her legendaryactions back. travis: it's cool,you can just go. matt: given the currentcircumstance... matt: raishan is goingto unleash... travis: handshake? matt: she's going to unleash a fullround of attacks against you
as you are right up in her faceand stabbed her in the gums and avoided the entiretyof her meteor swarm and you alsoattacked her. taliesin: in defense, she hadsome corn stuck in her-- laura: yeah, he reallywas helping. it'd been there for like-- matt: and she appreciates that, but the rest of thestuff is still a problem. taliesin: i'm trying notto say anything.
matt: that is 22 tohit with a bite. liam: that just hits,uncanny dodge. sam: maybe you should remindher that we have a deal. we're supposed tobe working together. matt: 22, well,yeah, so they all hit. sam: what happened toour deal, raishan? liam: the first one is uncannyand then the rest are-- matt: correct, so thebite attack is halved. which is good.
that'll be 22 pointsof piercing damage and you got the warmtingle earlier, right? you also sufferten points of poison damage. sam: ten points of poison? laura: even though he'simmune to poison? matt: he's not immune to poison. -laura: he's not?-matt: no. liam: not from that-- so thatour hero's feast does nothing.
laura: it was dispel, she dispelledour heroes' feast. that's what thatfucking shit was. -travis: oh!-liam: is that the total-- matt: that was the bite attack. so that wholeattack is halved. the poison damage and thepiercing you took is halved. the claw attack... sam: there was a shimmering andyou didn't feel anything. matt: 26 points of piercing damage.
liam: vax is falling. sam: oh, no. matt: and the tail batsyou on the way down. you guys watch as thedarkened wings of vax go limp and he just plummets. marisha: oh, boy. sam: that's gonna be-- matt: roll a d20. laura: oh, god.
liam: is this a death save? matt: no, this is a trajectory. marisha: oh my god, pleasedon't land in the lava. matt: you smack rightinto the edge, but not intothe magma river. you hear the cracking soundof bones breaking upon impact and the wingsthemselves broken. feathers falling and burningwithin the molten rock. the wings slowlyfold in and curl
like a spiderdying and vanish. liam: that sucks. sam: forever? laura: no, not forever! taliesin: he just went unconscious. matt: and with that... taliesin: something's gottabe done about that. travis: you are anakinon the riverbed. marisha: totally.
taliesin: magma is practically like yourarch nemesis to be fair. liam: i don't-- i don't know. matt: raishan is going to move. (pieces crash) (shouts) matt: kima, no! -marisha: poor kima!-sam: bye. i just got here! (indistinct talking)
and as she emerges now, afterknocking you out of the air, wings fully out, raishan... "you're next." and then swoops overand is now floating over the lava poolover that way. and appears to bepreparing for something. liam: have i got any automaticfails in a death save? matt: yes, you did fail a death savingthrow from hitting the ground. -liam: hitting the ground?-matt: yes.
sam: as she does that, i yell out,"could you be more specific? who is next, who? oh, we didn't see who youwere looking at over here. no? alright, guesswe'll find out." travis: i was so preoccupied,i missed it. matt: that ends raishan's turn. keyleth, you're up. marisha: okay, so keyleth,pretty pissed off
from seeing her boyfriendspiked from the sky. i'm going tokinda get a few, well, no, i guessi can stay here. kind of above the lava create a swirlingangry lava vortex of lightning and fire and i'm gonna hit heragain with lightning. make her save. save 12 plus nine thatis 21, which does save.
marisha: yeah, she saved. matt: so takes half damage,so 14 then halved. marisha: okay, not too bad. twelve, 14 plusseven, 21 total. half damage. matt: okay, so ten pointsof lightning damage. marisha: not great. matt: okay, did you want to move oryou gonna stay where you are? marisha: um...
taliesin: you can't heal as abonus action, can you? marisha: no, i can't do anything. does-- does vax look like he'sabout to fall in the lava? matt: vax is approximatelyone foot from the edgeof the river. sam: one third my size. travis: is it flat or is it... matt: it's slightly domed in. marisha: do you have flameresistance right now?
yeah, you saidyou're flame resistant. taliesin: on the armor. marisha: okay, so i'm gonnause my movement then. i'm gonna be very carefulto make sure i touch the armor, the raven queen armor and i'm going to see ifi can just fire elemental like roll him awayfrom the edge a little bit. liam: the armor is setto flame resistance. matt: yes, it is.
travis: i thought you weresaying you were gonna like roll him in the lava. marisha: it's been nice. matt: i will say-- i will say thetouch of a fire elemental ignites whateverit touches. it's kind of theessence of the element. marisha: but he hasfire resistance. matt: right, which meanshe'll take half damage from any firethat you deal.
however, being the fact that you are incontrol of your form you're nottrying to hurt something, i would say that you couldcarefully push him aside and i'll allow youa death saving throw as opposed to justtaking straight damage. matt: i'm making a-- liam: i'm rolling an advantage. matt: an advantage becauseof your armor, yeah.
liam: twelve, succeed. so, we're good,we're good. marisha: we're cool,we're good. sam: here, let me help you. oh god, i killed him. liam: i feel like in another dimensionthis didn't go so well. matt: so you kind ofroll him over... marisha: that would be themost keyleth thing to do. i love you so-- oh god,i killed the thing i love.
sam: oh my god, george, i huggedthe puppy really hard. liam: no, no, no! marisha: i'm sorry, george. matt: you barely move him, you only get him five feetfrom being so careful. you could have moved himfurther, but he would have-- been ignited in the process. travis: oh my god. taliesin: i got thatextension so bad.
matt: does that end your turn? marisha: i'm gonna then take a fewsteps back away from him now. matt: okay, back this way,back where you were? marisha: yeah, yes. travis: you would have turnedinto a vestige. taliesin: i don't got topretend i'm (indistinct). matt: okay, that ends your turn? at the end of your turn. raishan is still overheadand casts a spell.
-liam: duvet, duvall?-travis: duvet. you watch as raishanover on the edge... her front clawsbegin to form this strangegeometric sigil in the middle of the air and each corner of itis a different color. green, orange, yellow,red, purple, blue. and suddenlythis giant burst-- sam: can i try tocounterspell her?
matt: what's therange on that? sam: 60 feet,am i just there? marisha: come on, scanlan. laura: oh god, scanlan. travis: what is she casting? matt: she's within range! -laura: oh, god!-taliesin: please, please! please kill it! matt: d20 add six.
sam: eighteen. matt: you rolled an 18? sam: no, i rolled a 12. matt: you rolled a 12,that's an 18 total? it is a... hold on a second. taliesin: god, i can't breathe. matt: i'm pretty sure... sam: i get a plus two for--
matt: right, oh, i know. the sigil-- as theburst of colored light begins to spray forward,you watch as it just... laura: scanlan! mvp! liam: vax wakes up fortwo seconds, says, "you da man!" andthen lies back down. matt: shit. i never get touse prismatic spray. travis: that was a dayruiner, right?
day ruiner. there's no chance that waslike a healing spray, was it? liam: probably not. travis: like the gestureof surrender? liam: it was kind oflike rainbows. taliesin: it's the angriest captainplanet-- it's just the worst-- marisha: like the most fuckedup care bear stare. matt: alright, so, as thespell dissipates... raishan angrily...
sam: ♪ you got eggs andyou gonna lose 'em ♪ ♪ you got eggs ♪♪ matt: alright, so that ends--that ends keyleth's turn. that brings us to gilmore. now, gilmore over here is-- what else does he haveleft in the tank here? he's gonna do a levelfour lightning bolt. taliesin: chromatic spray. sam: chromatic spray could havebeen many things though.
taliesin: yes, but they're all bad. -it's a wheel of death.-sam: and they're all bad. one of them'slike 70 points of... -marisha: yeah.-taliesin: of just-- just goop. marisha: each coloris like bad. matt: gilmore is going to... taliesin: it's a great way of dealingwith people who are-- who are attunedto deal with you. taliesin: you were lookingat that for a while.
sam: yeah, i was, it was good. -it looks good.-taliesin: it's really good. -it's very you too.-sam: rainbow colored. laura: check out thosegilmore t-shirts. matt: i know, sorry, i'mchecking to make sure he can do this cause thisis what he's trying to do. liam: gilmore's wearingone right now. sam: hey, laura, are thosekey chains laser etched? laura: why, they are!
it's so funnyyou should ask. sam: wow, what about the-- laura: so precise. sam: did i say the key chainor the necklace? what about the necklace? matt: so, gilmore--gilmore runs up. and just vanishesfrom his place and instantly blinksup over into this area using his misty stepas his bonus action.
and looks upward. "how do you like it?" raises his handand pulls this way. you watch as thisnecromantic energy begins to gatheraround his hands. a familiar spellto you, keyleth. as you watch thediseased blackened veins up the side of raishan'sbody begin to spread and grow momentarilyand kind of begin to--
to dig their wayinto her throat. she beginsto pull backward, unfamiliar with thissudden internal pain. rolls a natural20 for her save. but regardless,that's still-- laura: i like how he genuinelylooked kind of disappointed though thathe rolled a 20. travis: i think he's just-- laura: it made me--it made me feel great.
liam: he's a really good actor. sam: see, we're not evengonna need the flute guy. laura: i hope he shows up. i hope he's not like... taliesin: no, a month fromnow he's gonna show up. travis: attacking likehis carry-on? sam: he's at tsa right now. "i have nothingelse metal on me. i don't-- oh, i'm bronze."
matt: seventeen points of necroticdamage to raishan with the save. that's gilmore'sturn there. that brings us to... -travis: me?-matt: yes. taliesin: your dragon-based humoris way too tight right now. travis: can i runover with shaun? travis: can i attach the chainof returning to the axe? travis: then, can i swingit really hard and go, "yeah, catchphrase!"
and throw it up. matt: yes, you can. travis: good, reckless, please. matt: yes, you may. -sam: laura.-travis: that's a natural 20. -marisha: whoo!-matt: oh, shit! travis: oh, and with thebrutal critical, i get two additional... matt: yeah, two additionald12's to that,
so roll the die first. plus don't forget youdouble the necrotic die. travis: yeah, i do double it? liam: yes! travis: that's a six,so that's 12. i'm enlarged. where's the triangle,who took the triangle? laura: i don't-- here you go. taliesin: you got likevalley girl on that. "who took the triangle?"
travis: that's 29 and thentwo additional d12. travis: nine, 38. ten, 48. matt: 48? laura: did you doublethose extras? do you doublethose dice as well? -travis: no.-laura: okay. travis: brutal critical, you gettwo additional damage die on my roll.
matt: okay, so, as you rush up,"catchphrase!" and throw theaxe sideways. it arcs upward andraishan is currently kind of reelingfrom the dispel and angrily yellinginto the room in draconic. gets partway into a phrase,just finishing... (roaring) the axe just jams into theside of her collarbone and front torso area and...
the axe is still kind of wedgedthere, are you gonna pull back? travis: yeah, i'llpull it back. matt: so go aheadand roll your... taliesin: i don't know why you'relooking over here for that. travis: yeah, i got it. 23. matt: so, yanking the axe, dislodgesitself and you catch it. you see it's coveredin raishan blood. as you pull the axe back, youwatch as something just, like, a flash of arcaneenergy around her,
and some sort of spell, uncast by her,just seemingly automatically justkind of surrounds her and her flyingbegins to speed up. laura: she got hasted? -marisha: but how?-laura: how? travis: i didn't knowi was this powerful. what the fuck happened? laura: how did she get hasted?
liam: well, we'll find out. laura: what if the brassdragon's helping her? taliesin: or what if the eggsare helping her? matt: yeah, you havemaybe 15 more feet. taliesin: i don't know, i just likeputting things out there. travis: rolling towards that endof the map as far as i go. matt: this end, sure. laura: that end of the map. travis: can i go that way?
yeah, that's cool. -cool.-matt: great. matt: that puts you atthe end of your turn. she's gonna uselegendary action. at this point in her kind of,sped up form, she begins to... (chanting) and there's a slightripple again in the air similar to what gilmoredid towards raishan early part of the battle.
let me see the... taliesin: we're making some bad groupingsthere, by the way, people. you feel a kindof a strange warmth and tingling sensationwithin your body, scanlan. sam: oh, what, me? but i didn'tdo anything. taliesin: you relieveyourself gently. laura: did you just pee? taliesin: i cast tinkle.
sam: i don't get to save oranything, it just happens? matt: it's not a save, it'sagainst an effect on you and she rolls to--just like how you roll to overcome herspell's counter spell, she gets to rollto overcome whatever effect is onyou with dispel magic. matt: so, that's gonna be the lastof her legendary actions. laura: she just dispelled all of us. can we bust outa feast right now?
-just like sit down.-taliesin: we can make eggs benedict. we have the makingsfor eggs benedict. sam: does that dispel my fireresistance as well? matt: no, it only affectedthe heroes' feast. you'll have toexplain that sometime. matt: vex, you're up. laura: so, giving a potion tosomebody is a full action? cause you have to basicallyget there, open it, grab them and helpthem swallow it
to have theeffect take place. it's a prettyinvolved action. sam: that means we don't haveadvantage on death saves either. right, wait. -laura: did we ever?-sam: yeah, we did. laura: oh, that's frombeacon of hope. that's gone anyway. sam: is that gone, okay? taliesin: yeah, that got eaten.
laura: okay, then i'm gonnafly down to my brother. and i'm gonnacast cure wounds on him at fourth level, so that's 4d8. sam: 4d8? laura: oh, 19 pluseight, wow, 27. -sam: wow.-liam: thank you. laura: you don't gotno wings anymore. -liam: she dead?-laura: no.
liam: oh, shit. laura: get awayfrom the lava. and then, i'm gonnafly away from the lava. -up.-matt: this way? -travis: towards matt.-laura: yeah, towards matt. up and towards matt. -matt: up and towards me.-laura: kind of away from pike. actually,let's go, oh god. matt: this way?
laura: yes, yes, whatyou just did. that way. matt: that's about as faras you can go right there. laura: and i get a bonus. i can do somethingwith a bonus. i'm gonnare-hunter's mark her. -matt: yeah, cause you---laura: yeah. matt: alright, sohunter's mark reapplied. laura: oh, wait!
i can take a potionfor myself as a bonus. -matt: yes.-laura: i'm gonna do that. matt: alright, go for it. -get it.-laura: okay. matt: just a regular potion? -laura: just a superior.-matt: oh, right. laura: that my brother gave me. matt: that is an8d4 plus eight. laura: it's a four.
travis: easter egg. laura: seventeen plus eight. travis: you have onemore dice to roll. -laura: i do?-travis: yep. laura: ooh. so, 21 pluseight, so 29. sam: you healedyourself that much? jesus, that'sa big potion. laura: yeah that was,i rolled really well.
taliesin: i may make onefor the table. laura: i didn't trust thati would roll that well. matt: that ends your turn, vex? -laura: yes.-matt: vax, you're up. liam: okay, so half my movement justto get to standing, right? liam: okay, i'm gonna throwwhisper, flame tongue. raishan should bewithin 60 feet, yeah? -matt: uh, yeah.-liam: okay. -seventeen for the first.-matt: fails.
-liam: second is 22.-matt: twenty-two just hits. travis: that's it, that'sraishan at 22. -liam: ten.-taliesin: 22? -marisha: she's 22.-matt: how much damage? -liam: ten.-matt: ten points damage. liam: and i'm going to use myremaining 15 of movement to go diagonallyaway from raishan. matt: diagonally away this way? liam: away from-- diagonal.
-matt: here?-liam: yeah. matt: okay, that's as faras you can get there. that ends your turn. that brings us to kima. kima rushes in withholy avenger, and looks over at the distantdragon and goes, "oh, shit. who's hurting?" laura: everyone. sam: i'm fine.
laura (as pike): "i am, i don't wantto say anything though, but i kind of am. i feel kind of shitty. i--i feel like shit." -liam: "um..."-laura: "um..." sam: "i'm kind of bleedingfrom my ears, but, whatever." matt: kima as an actionis gonna cast a... laura: "i can deal with it. it's no big deal."
matt: i'm gonna say thirdlevel cure wounds. liam: matt, my wingsare toast, right? that's 17 pointsof healing to pike. laura: okay, thank you. matt: i think kima's justgonna go at a full run. right, that ends kima's turn. there is aflash of light in the tunnelbehind you guys. as a sudden burstof kind of...
a whitish orangish energy that briefly halos kima,scanlan, and pike's forms. as you watch,a brass talon... a brass talon, that since it wasused as the top of our tree, i forgot to bring its base,but he'll be acting there. taliesin: it was a beautiful tree. -laura: hey, look, he's standing!-marisha: he's standing. taliesin: you've been drinking,brass dragon. laura: oh, j'mon,you looking good.
-liam: j'mon!-laura: j'mon! taliesin: have you beenworking out? you look like you'vebeen working out. matt: he watches as they arrive and kind of bullytheir way past the entrance. "i was wonderingwhen you'd call." sam: glad you came! travis: nothing cool,nothing cool with that! taliesin: swipe right, swipe right!
travis: sure is gladyou're here! sam: we're happyto see you? travis: no court speak here. sam: how-- howwas the flight? matt: actually,i broke my platforms, so i'll just have to use myimagination for some of this. sam: we need modelingclay, quick! taliesin: fishing wire, we can just stringit from the top of the set. marisha: yeah, yeah, justattach it to a string.
matt: there we go. j'mon, they kind of stomptheir way into the room, stepping overyou, scanlan. steppingpast you, vax. nestles in, kind ofsurveys the territory. "a different colorthan i was expecting." and releases a blastof fire breath upwards inthe direction-- travis: smoke 'em ifyou got 'em.
c'mon, j'mon. laura: ♪ j'mon ♪taliesin: ♪ j'mon ♪♪ matt: that is a 23. okay, makesthe dex save, so raishan pullsout of the way with a benefit fromthe haste spell. however it does stilltake damage. half damagefrom the spell. that's 16d6 damage.
-laura: wow.-travis: 16d6. well, that might actually help. liam: nobody expectsthe marquette inquisition. matt: that is 58points fire damage, half of that to 20... 29, whoo, pardon me. laura: did you just burpor did you just-- matt: i did. matt: twenty nine points offire damage to raishan
from devo'ssa'sflame breath. j'mon sa ord, as you know. travis: wow. matt: she makes a concentration check. succeeds. matt: so, the hasteremains viable. okay, that endsj'mon's turn. pike is up. pike...
marisha: go on, girl! laura: she's gonna castmass healing word. can she get the most peoplein her radius? matt: what's the range on it? laura: it is a 60 foot radius. sam: radius? matt: yep, that's the biggestradius, it'd be right there. in the center,just under j'mon's giantbrass dragon wing.
sam: it's not gonna healraishan, is it? -laura: no.-matt: no. laura: heals onlypeople she wants. it's up tosix creatures. matt: up to six creatures,who do you choose? laura: who all's-- taliesin: raise your hand if you would--you would like to be-- laura: so, that's-- -liam: grog is within range.-laura: grog and her.
so, that's grog,pike, vex, vax, and percy. sam: well, hey, ifyou can do six. laura: and scanlan. "oh, sorry, scanlan,i didn't see you there." sam: "well, i'm behind adragon, honey, it's okay." laura: oh, he's gonnadispel this shit. taliesin: i don't think she can. laura: okay, she's gonna do this. sam: wait, can she do iton herself as well?
-laura: yeah.-sam: okay. laura: nine. -sam: nine-- nine points?-laura: yeah. that's a bonus,i know, i know, okay. taliesin: nine is good. laura: there's not reallyanything else right now. taliesin: technically, it's9 times 6, so you did alot of healing. laura: all of her majorspells were used.
-liam: still in the game.-taliesin: nine times six is a lot. travis: nine points, okay. taliesin: that brings me upinto the 60's. sam: decadent. marisha: just a-- a nicesouthern california day. taliesin: fifties. laura: and then, can she-- doesshe have any movement left? matt: no, that was her fullmovement to get there. laura: that's true.
she's gonna duck as muchas she can under j'mon. -matt: okay.-laura: for protection. and say, "oh, you lookvery nice, thank you." matt: there you go. laura: "thank you forhelping us." sam: at this point,i feel like you guys are better atashley than she is. laura: no, shut up. taliesin: cast of thousands ittakes to play ashley.
matt: ending pike's turn,scanlan, you're up. sam: oh, oh, shit, i should havebeen thinking about what i-- matt: yes, you should have. i will-- i will-- i will shoot some stuffat raishan of it all. matt: do it, what are you doing? sam: i'm gonna shootlightning bolt at raishan. from my dick. matt: so, as you begincreating your incantation
and thrust yourhips forward, j'mon sa ord turnstheir head beneath the wing in your direction andarcs a brow, surprised. sam: like, yeah,this is happening. matt: as the bolt of energy streaksforth from your groin in the directionof the dragon. that is a 15. it's going to use one ofraishan's legendary resistances to resist it.
so half damage. sam: okay, fine, whatever. travis: "fine, whatever." travis: ♪feel the heat.♪ sam: wow. -sam: 35 halved.-matt: 35 halved. sam: 17. matt: that's agood roll. sam: that is agood roll.
it was mostlysixes and fives. and do you wish to move oryou gonna stay where you are? no, i wouldlike to move. i would like to move forwarda bit still within the-- the devo'ssa range. matt: like by pike andkima over here? sam: yeah, oh, can i move tothe other side of devo'ssa? matt: yeah, you can movejust underneath, running between the legs
and get about there. sam: and yeah, shoot, is anyoneelse-- how's gilmore look? matt: gilmore is standing and seems to bedoing alright, but seen a lot strugglefrom the last battle and is currently about... you can seea little bit of blood dried and curling from one sideof the mouth. hair is mussed upand looks to be
a few burn marksacross the skin and is kind of a little out of breath, but is standing. taliesin: it's the level twomike tyson's punch out. gilmore'sroughly half out. -sam: okay.-taliesin: i knew that would break you. travis: i love that reference. sam: so i will use a healing wordon gilmore. why not?
'cause i don'twant to use any-- i got one more inspiration,so i'm not gonna use that yet. so, yeah, i will--i will heal gilmore. sam: oh, yes, sorry,i got to roll. nine. matt: total nine,great, alrighty. that ends your turn? sam: yes, yes, yes. matt: alright, percival,you're up.
travis: nice job. taliesin: okay, i don'thave it marked down that i burnedmy action surge, but i think i burnedmy action surge. matt: you did, yes. taliesin: but i still do have twopoints of cabal's ruin. -if i recall.-matt: you do, yes. taliesin: okay, justmaking sure. alright, so, i'm going to--
from my littlevantage point, take a shot with bad news. see how this goes, and i'mgonna burn a grit for advantage. let's do this. i mean, that wasn't fine,but we could do better. yeah, that'salready better. travis: come on. taliesin: thirty points to--30 to hit. matt: thirty does hit, yes.
let's use these,they're sparkly. two 12 plus six plus, i'm gonna throw2d6 worth of electric. 2d4 worth of electric. learning how to use-- oh, 1d6, no,never mind, here we go. so, let's add. empty out cabal's ruin. that's awful.
10 points of damage plus 6points of lightning damage. travis: how's that terrible,that's not terrible. -taliesin: for me.-laura: for him. matt: you watch as you sendthe last bit of the charge through the cloak as theenergy shoots up your arm into the gun and as you fire, it travels with the bullet andbursts into this kind of weird, reverse shock waveand the energy returns and slams for a secondtime into raishan's body.
taliesin: nice, i haveone more shot. so, i'm gonnatake my last shot although there'sno more electricity. that's probablynot gonna hit. that's 18 to hit,that does not hit. -matt: it does not.-taliesin: that does not hit. but at least itdoesn't backfire. matt: it hits the side of the hide andricochets off the dragon's skin. taliesin: i'm gonna start running.
i know you don't havethe little plastic thing, but i'm feeling a little clumpedover there, so i'm gonna start runningup the wall at an angle, so probably three up and three--three up and three side. matt: we'll mark you at25 feet up on the wall. just keep that in mind. okay, ends percy. top of this now isanother lair action. sam: no, he could do that.
taliesin: it's like watchingsome very, like, complicated... marisha: like, chess. matt: the magma overhere begins to bubble and you watch as one ofthese strange protrusions from the rocky groundbegins to bow upward and then crack open asanother familiar cloud of gas begins to spillout in this area. travis: but you'retotally immune. matt: vax, vex, scanlan.
i need you guys to make constitutionsaving throws. sam: nope. laura: this is just the worst. -matt: j'mon.-laura: ♪ j'mon ♪♪ matt: does make it, yes. sam: four. -laura: fourteen.-liam: eighteen. -matt: okay, you do make it.-liam: eighteen.
matt: eighteen, yes, the twoof you manage to succeed. pike as well? taliesin: oh, yeah, medicinewon't heal it. laura: hold on. travis: that's gotta make it. -liam: thirteen.-laura: fourteen. so, this cloud is still kindof permeating this area. obscuring it slightly. ending that nowit is raishan's--
sam: wait, what did i do,what happened to me? -matt: you rolled a four.-sam: yeah. matt: so, when your turncomes around next... -sam: i die.-travis: i'll let you know. matt: no, you'll just becoughing and incapacitated. the coughing fit that this poison gascreates is so bad that you can't doanything but hack. travis: it is called la smog.
now, being raishan's turn. still hasted, pardon me. raishan is goingto dart backward... and snatch up thisone egg with her claws. grabs it and kind ofcarries it up underneath. marisha: bitch cares. -laura: she does care!-marisha: she cares! laura: let's killthem eggs. taliesin: care bear stare!
sam: wait, maybe she's justtrying to be a good mom. taliesin: she's gonnathrow it at us. marisha: google donkey kong. taliesin: she could go alldonkey kong on us. marisha: yeah, yeah. laura: (yells) matt: so, that's 20 to get thereand back to grab that. she kinda swoopsdown, grabs it. moves forwardever so slightly
this way, and... no, from back here. is going to release a giantburst of poisonous gas outward, affecting-- kima shrugs it off,pike shrugs it off. grog, you shrug it off cause you resist the dispelthat didn't work earlier. gilmore ate the feast earlierand is also unaffected. however, i need...
laura: gilmoredidn't get the feast. matt: that's right, cause you can onlyhave so many people eat from it. alright, i need gilmore,vax, vex and scanlan to all makeconstitution saving throws. sam: what about devo'ssa? -matt: yes.-taliesin: wow. that's not happy. such a pretty die. laura: did you say pike?
did you saypike as well? matt: pike didn'tget dispelled. so pike is immune. sam: i got a nine, matthew. -matt: you got a 9?-sam: constitution? -matt: yes.-sam: nine. matt: not you, percy. taliesin: i didn't have to roll. i'm just mocking him.
-matt: vex?-laura: fourteen. you guys and scanlan all suffer83 points of poison damage. travis: oh my god! marisha: how many? -matt: eighty-three.-laura: eighty-three. matt: gilmore. taliesin: (laughing) gilmore makes his saveroll with a 19 plus three. taliesin: so, he gets 40.
matt: thanks to yourheal earlier, gilmore is still standingwith two hit points. -laura: wow.-sam: that makes two of us, friend. i'm at two hitpoints as well. travis: how y'all doing? laura: we're unconscious. sam: did our-- our bronze brass dragonget hurt at all or no? matt: brass dragon. but it is here in a minute.
rolls a one onits saving throw. gonna use legendary resistanceto make the save. so he only takes--they only take-- taliesin: can you arc lightning? matt: 41 pointsof damage there. so, as thisbillows forth... laura: twins go out together. matt: so, vax, hefalls unconscious. vex, you fall unconscious, falloff the broom, hit the ground.
taking four pointsof bludgeoning damage, you suffer a death savingthrow from the impact. laura: from like a teenylittle ten foot fall? matt: 10 foot drop on your head. laura: that's fucking stupid. -matt: it's only a---laura: she was sitting stupidly! matt: it's only a d6bludgeoning damage, but when you'reunconscious while falling, you now realize the downsideof flying all the time.
travis: didn't you putair bags on that thing? laura: i did, i havea helmet on. did you-- i putairbags in the witch's hat. taliesin: it's a football helmet. travis: that's right,it's magic, it goes... sam: yeah, i forgot to tell you,the witch hat is magic. taliesin: full of balloons. matt: as the poisonousbreath billows out and everyone's coughingand falling over,
you watch the twinsfall unconscious, raishan kind of grins. "you've got afew surprises, i see, but you're notthe only ones." laura: oh, no, does shehave more surprises? travis: i think that'swhat she meant, yeah. laura: i hope that's not-- taliesin: there's cake andice cream upstairs. sam: "i have more surprises."
"guys, i think shehas more surprises." travis: that's literallywhat she just said. laura: i just thought maybethe breath was the surprise. matt: and then is going to usethe rest of her movement to whip over here. travis: damn it, damn it, damn it. why'd she have to leave? i just wanted togive her a high five. taliesin: you need to heal the livinghell out of these people.
she's carrying...? matt: she's carryingtwo eggs underneath. taliesin: which means she obviouslycan't do claw attacks. matt: she still has40 feet of movement. matt: and is goingto turn back, and flies there. travis: didn't pick upanything else? matt: no, she grabbed thetwo eggs and is positioning. alright, that endsraishan's turn.
taliesin: can you heal? marisha: i'm wondering ifi should drop this and start doingbeefier stuff now. marisha: i think now's the time. sam: this has only injuredvax so far, so... laura: me and... taliesin: the twins, they'reboth unconscious. sam: oh, great. taliesin: with one death savingthrow already failed.
sam: great. laura: no, just me. marisha: okay, i am goingto move from-- laura: and pike's like out. marisha: over thelava like this direction. sam: she's got some cantrips. marisha: geez, i can't tell. -matt: which way?-marisha: this way, this way. see the laser pointer?no, no, no, i had it.
i had it andit went away. -okay.-matt: over here? marisha: no, it's--yeah, over there. -matt: over here?-marisha: uh-huh. and how far away israishan from me now? matt: i'd say roughly30 feet, 35 feet. marisha: okay, moveme like one more closer to her. marisha: and how close am i from the twins now? i can't see.
matt: twins, you're about 30,another 35 feet from them. marisha: okay, let me movefive more feet so i can be within30 feet of the twins. marisha: okay, now i'mgonna drop my-- matt: well, with both twins,you'd have to move there. you drop your form? -marisha: drop my form.-matt: alright. marisha: i hope this is nota terrible idea. -matt: i'll put you there.-taliesin: we're at that point.
marisha: we're at that point. this is dungeonsand dragons! taliesin: this is dungeonand dragons. marisha: i'm going to bust outthe spire of conflux. so i'm gonna bust out the staffand be like, "you bitch." and then aim it. i'm gonna do chain lightning and can i try andhit her and the two eggs and maybe like, sincei still have the storm going,
like, it just looks cool? laura: doesn't it--? matt: raishan saves. the eggs cannotsave technically, so go aheadand roll damage. laura: don't you get thelightning attacks too? if you're doingchain lightning, you still get the otherlightning's that are there? marisha: i have to chooseto make an action.
it's still there, but i can either like do otherthings or choose to do-- laura: i understand. marisha: sorry, i don'tdo the-- 10d8. taliesin: do you need some d8's? marisha: i have one, two,three, four, five... i think i'm good,i'll just roll five twice. oh, god, oh, god. did she save?
matt: yes, she did. marisha: but the eggs didn't? matt: the eggs did not. marisha: okay, that's notphenomenal. three, six, nine,ten-- nine, ten, eleven. plus four is 15 plus... okay, okay. what'd i say, 15? twenty-five, 29.
thirty-six total. taliesin: oh, wait, wait, wait. marisha: oh! oh, and i get toreroll this one. thirty-six, no,thirty-eight. matt: thirty-eight, okay. that would be 29,no, sorry. no, from 30, 19. nineteen damage to raishanand the two eggs--
you watch as the bolt hits, arcs through her,arcs through the eggs. you see the eggs stillcarrying them, no visual. marisha: it didn't doanything to 'em? matt: well, nothingyou can see, no. marisha: nothing i can see. maybe i likemicrowaved 'em inside. like nuked 'em. might have nuked 'em.
travis: might have been like visionand you made 'em super strong. marisha: yeah, or i turned 'em intolittle vision dragons. you know,one of the two. okay, and thenfor my bonus action, i'm going to do ahealing word on vax. marisha: i'm just gonnado it at first level. -sorry.-liam: no, hey. taliesin: it's back up. marisha: three plus (indistinguishable)so nine total.
liam: thank you. watching you form over,hit her with lightning, hit the eggsand all of a sudden, breath come back to thelungs of vax on the ground. raishan, "not so fast." still clutching the eggs, her front claws kindof form this small spiral as the air growssurprisingly cold causing this mist to form
around the extendedends of her claws. as she putsher arms forth, casting cone of coldoutward from her. laura: i wonder if they're elemental,like, amplifiers. marisha: the eggs? taliesin: i think, i thinkmaybe they're-- travis: just eggs? taliesin: no, no, i think shemay be on to something. matt: that's going to be...
i don't know ifit's going to hit. taliesin: no, no. matt: does not hit gilmore. however, i need scanlan... sam: would i be able tocounter spell this or-- or am i already in a cloudof smoke and coughing? matt: oh, you can'ttechnically move cause you'redoubled over. sam: i'm already inthe cloud, right?
-matt: yeah.-sam: okay. laura: you're in the cloud,but you can be restored. cause you'vebeen backed up. sam: oh. backblaze? sam: you're slowly becoming me tonight. taliesin: can gilmoredispel or-- just throwingthat out there. i know you'replaying a lot of hands here. sam: you're so handsome andcharming all of a sudden.
matt: what's the range on that? unfortunately, gilmore'sjust out of range. 60 foot range. taliesin: goddammit, okay. matt: good looking out though. taliesin: i'm trying. matt: so that is kima,pike, j'mon, scanlan, vax and vex all making constitutionsaving throws. laura: i'm unconscious.
matt: so, you takeanother death save. -laura: cool.-taliesin: goddammit. we need to fix that. laura: i've got one save left. taliesin: please, we gotto fix that. sam: did i-- wait. vax-y poo, did i giveyou my cold armor? i mean, vex-y poo. laura: yeah, you did,but it's not attuned.
sam: you're noteven using it? matt: and even then, even at halfdamage, she's unconscious. laura: well, i am, i'mjust not getting cold-- matt: so you're at twodeath saves on impact. you're unconsciousagain to zero. -you take...-sam: i rolled an 11. matt: an eleven, yeah. so you take 43 points of cold damage. sam: i'm so dead.
travis: no, no, unconscious. -matt: unconscious.-laura: you're unconscious. sam: negative 41. matt: both roll for pike. laura: it doesn't matterwhat you're negative. travis: unless it's yourtotal hit points. matt: roll for pike ifyou could please. laura: well,i wouldn't count it, but yeah, that was--that was bad.
it was better when i-- taliesin: well, not anymore. laura: what is this,what is this? constitution,what is this? five! cause i suck. matt: pike takes another43 points of cold damage. laura: pike is unconscious. sam: the gnomes are down.
well, at leastwe got kima. laura: whoa. the two-- the twinsand the gnomes are out. sam: yeah, whoa,we're down four? taliesin: we're down four. -sam: whoa!-laura: this is serious, you guys. sam: don't worry, devo'ssa's here to give one shot of28 points of damage. come on, devo'ssa,do something!
travis: i would hit the dragoncause it's low enough, but it's on theother side of the map. matt: alrighty, so that's theend of keyleth's turn. it's now gilmore's turn. travis: come on, gilmore. laura: do you havemass cure, gilmore? matt: gilmore does notcure, unfortunately, that's nothis specialty. travis: what about razzle dazzle?
matt: he's used alot of his spells. taliesin: i have nothing. travis: can he cast like-- sam: oh, wait! shit. no, that was poison. he shot-- raishan shotpoison at us, right? taliesin: no, cold. laura: cold the last time.
sam: no, the cold this time. the previous timeit was poison. sam: never acid though. taliesin: no, never acid. matt: gilmore rushes around j'mon almost as adefensive stand point, but also kind of takingin the circumstance. watching this blast ofcold air come through. kind of looks around, seeingeveryone on the ground.
it's like,"oh god, oh god." and in a fit of rage andneeding to lock this down, just gonna go ahead with whathe has left at his disposal to release a... all he can really dois a lightning bolt. which raishan rolls a one. laura: oh, good, good. matt: uses legendary resistanceto resist it. laura: i have to pee so bad,i got to get up.
-sam: how do you want to do this?-matt: i know. ten points of lightningdamage to raishan. laura: what i'm scared of is that i'm gonna be away from thetable when i actually die, but i have to pee. matt: go pee, it's fine. laura: just don't kill me while i'mnot at the table, okay, matt? matt: do my best. sam: hey, when she gets backlet's all be crying.
laura: (offscreen) don't-- i heard that! taliesin: you are the worst person. two seconds longer. -matt: grog.-travis: yeah. matt: actually, no, oh,thank you so much. taliesin: oh, yay. matt: thank you,thank you, thank you. beautiful. they found my base.
taliesin: wow, look at all thoseminis that are flattened. wake up our healer. matt: look at that. looks much more majesticwhen it's up in the air. oh god. i'm juggling here. stay on there! alright, so, at theend of that turn... there's two more legendaryactions from raishan.
she has four,she has four. to cast a melf'sacid arrow at gilmore. sam: (snickering) travis: wait, where did gilmore go,i can't see. matt: he's underneath. sam: no one said d&dwas easy, guys. matt: okay, a ranged spell attack. so, yeah, that hits. so that is 4d4acid damage against--
that's five. five, ten pointsof acid damage. gilmore is now also down. sam: oh! travis: is that five total? taliesin: five down, wehave five down. matt: as gilmore runspast the dragon, raishan just with thisalmost underhanded, flips her claws outand this one little
greenish dartof arcane energy slams into gilmore's chest. and he justfalls to the ground. taliesin: we're so fucked. matt: burning into him like alien blood. travis: this is some kindof horrible record. laura: gilmore just wentunconscious too? -travis: sit down.-laura: oh, no! sam: kima, percy, keyleth.
it's up to you. -matt: grog, it's your turn.-sam: oh, wait, grog! i forgot grog. travis: hey! taliesin: is there anythingyou can do to fix this? -travis: i have a question.-matt: yes. travis: so my speed is 50, but i don't knowif i ever thought of what my speedis enlarged-ish.
it's not double, right? i don't reallyhave a card for it. it doesn't sayanything about my speed. matt: wait, for whichone, on the-- laura: if he was enlarged. matt: if you're enlarged, no, it doesn't increaseyour speed at all. travis: yeah, okay. matt: you're still 50,you're bigger--
taliesin: fuck. travis: so, from where i am, if i wanted to head towards you,how far could i get? matt: you could get... that far there. travis: that does fuck all. taliesin: that-- yeah. travis: i could throw the axebut pike's unconscious. -i'm gonna run to pike.-sam: start saving shit.
travis: and i have the middlepotion available. -laura: the greater?-travis: the greater. matt: alrighty, so you'regonna use your action to administer the greaterhealing potion to pike. alrighty, go for it. -sam: to pike.-travis: how many-- how many isthat, i don't remember. -laura: that's 4d4.-matt: yeah, 4d4 plus four. four.
four, that's two. hey, seven anda four is eleven. fifteen. fifteen points to pike. matt: fifteen points to pike. taliesin: and she still hasher turn coming up. taliesin: oh, okay, okay,that's good. laura: but she has basicallyno spells left. sam: she's got no spell slots.
does she have any spell--higher level spell slots open? laura: she's got afourth level spell. taliesin: and then she canburn a fourth to heal somebodyat a fourth level. she can heal youat a fourth level because youneed healing now. matt: that ends your turn, grog? -matt: vex, it's your turn. i need you to makea death saving throw.
-taliesin: goddammit.-laura: i could die. taliesin: yep, this could be it. -sam: this is the last one? laura: this is my lastdeath saving throw. taliesin: this is it. laura: no advantage,no nothing. taliesin: oh godfucking damn it. laura: i'm using-- no, i'mnot even gonna say it. (groans)
-laura: i failed it.-matt: what'd you roll? -laura: five.-matt: five. there, on the banksof the lava flow in thordak's lair, the breath escapes vex. her body going still and unfortunatelynot cold because of the vicinityof the flames, but vex has fallen.
-taliesin: okay.-matt: vax. -liam: death save.-matt: with advantage. -liam: i made it.-matt: made it? that bringsus to kima. sam: holy shit. matt: kima, who's-- pike isnow conscious, correct? from the potion. laura: pike is consciouswith 15 points. matt: kima's panickingwatching all this happen
and seeing thishappen in the distance. looks to gilmore,looks to vax. she kind of frustratingly justthrows the sword at her side and reaches down and does a level twohealing word to gilmore. that is 12, so gilmoreis back and conscious. marisha: as a bonus action, socan she heal someone else? that ends kima'sturn is now-- marisha: does she happen to do--that's a bonus action.
can she do it twice? matt: that was-- that was not healingword, sorry, cure wounds. taliesin: goddammit. matt: she's going to move,stepping over his body, "keep it going, friend." leaps over him. two, three, four, five. and she kind of runs past,pulling the sword out again, looks up at thedragon and says,
"alright, show uswhat you can do, buddy. there's a lotriding on this." after kima is j'mon. they look down at therunning halfling. "dire as it may be,that's why we're here." let's see if hegets his breath back. nope. they did notget their breath back. travis: shit.
laura: just-- bitch--bitchslap raishan. marisha: kaiju battle! liam: take your earrings off,come on. matt: rushes up and-- goes right up intoraishan's space. laura: yes! sam: dragon on dragon. laura: he has a base now? when did that happen?
-travis: while you were peeing.-laura: that's great. matt: so, just rushes upinto raishan. you feel the windkind of blast past as the wings ofj'mon sa ord, devo'ssa, pick them up and they rusharound strafing the side of raishan and unleash abarrage of attacks against her. that will be-- first one is 16, no. bite misses.
three and atwo, really? travis: no, no, no, no. -marisha: come on, man.-travis: i don't believe it. -marisha: come on!-travis: i don't believe. sam: look at all the notes,look at all the notes. travis: i don't believe it! matt: three, two and one. that is ridiculous. laura: you know whythis happened?
cause you tookso long to call-- sam: yeah, i know, i know. they got--they got bored waiting at home and yeah. -matt: so.-sam: it's me, it's on me. matt: as j'mon rushes upand unleashes, raishan, who is slipperyat best, and really, really, really creepilydeceitful at her worst, dodges to the side,so, she's in the shadows
and the cloud ofthe storm in the air to kind of hide her form as j'mon reaches outand starts slashing raishan, who's now has this kindof wild look in her eyes of now mounting victory. from a momentof fear earlier, she manages to avoidthe first two strikes and the third one, the tail slaps againstthe side of raishan's body.
whack and smacksto no effect. travis: jesus. matt: that endsj'mon's turn. it is nowpike's turn. liam: pike, how closeis she to-- -sam: book!-taliesin: book? matt: pike is about25 feet away. liam: she's gonna runup, kneel down, wait, kiss vex onthe forehead, and say,
"not like this, buddy," and cast revivifyfor her last spell. travis: it is her last. matt: revivify is touch and she's coming upfrom unconscious prone which means shedoesn't have the movement to get there to touch her. liam: pike is unconscious? matt: oh, no, she was--she was--
travis: pike was notunconscious. marisha: she was notunconscious, she was up. travis: she was upwith 15-- matt: oh, oh. laura: she had 15. -but she was---sam: she was lying down. -laura: she was lying on---matt: so, she was prone. she was prone. travis: oh, why didn't ijust pick her up?
matt: no, so she can move. she can't get there. laura: that's okay. matt: it's a touch spell. liam: who's she near? marisha: how much time doesrevivify need? laura: a minute. taliesin: oh, undera minute. oh, well, shecan make her way--
laura: she's gotsprinter's boots on! she just texted. matt: had she usedthem recently? laura: we didn't use themin the last fight because we didn'trealize she had 'em. matt: the internetwill let us know. laura: well, i-- we didn't use 'emin the fight with thordak. liam: she didn't know she had'em so we didn't use 'em. matt: right, right, so.
sam: do you have anyother healing spells that can workat a distance? -liam: she's dead.-marisha: she's dead. she's gonnado revivify. -laura: for pike, though.-taliesin: yeah, like. liam: so the sprinter's boots donothing, i mean, i don't know. matt: the sprinter's boots willlet her double her movement for a round. liam: so will she get there?
laura: she's writing in all caps"sprinter's boots!" liam: alright, so revivify. -matt: alright.-taliesin: oh my god. matt: now, this is mid-combat. -for the purposes of this---laura: oh god. sam: how long doesit take to cast? liam: it's instantaneous. taliesin: less than six seconds. liam: one action,instantaneous.
marisha: yeah, she did lay outless than six seconds, man. matt: i understand. so, this-- this is going tobe a rapid resurrection skill check. laura: oh god, really? okay. matt: so, but this isonly from pike because it isa singular roll. so. laura: can ashley roll, do youwant to roll ashley? matt: as pike rushes up,what does pike utilize
to implore vex'ssoul to return? sam: liam, you answer. liam: my gosh. she grabs a daggerout of vex's belt and cuts off alock of her hair and presses itinto vex's hand. "it's not time,it's not time for you. no." matt: go ahead and just roll a d20.
laura: she's-- oh! oh, no! should we read that? travis: no. matt: a ten? as the glow fromthe outside of her form that just radiateswith the armor itself, centrally focuses itselfinto her holy symbol and is sent down the arm.
each piece ofthe plate mail glowing in succession like a seriesof chained lights as it reaches the fingers, touching the bottom of herfingertips to vex's torso. the air seems to go darkfor a moment around her body before it pulses,and with that, you watch as her jawmoves ever so slightly taking in, once more, thewarm air of thordak's lair.
marisha: no one else die. matt: pike, want to doanything else? bonus action? liam: geez, i don't-- laura: oh, she should take-- she shouldtake a potion or something. travis: yeah, heal herself please. laura: she's got a--she's got a greater healing-- pike has a greater healingpotion that i know of. so she can take it.
so that is a4d4 plus four. travis: this sucks! taliesin: i'm almostof the thinking that she shouldn'ttake it just because-- -well, no, she's got---laura: she's got 15 points. taliesin: well, i mean, butanything hits her-- half the things that hit herare gonna even kill that and that's arevive from death. marisha: yeah, but it'son her, right?
yeah, i see whatyou mean though. laura: should she wait,should she hold it? sam: they're in control of her. taliesin: yeah, you do it,you do it, you do it. i'm overthinking this. liam: yeah, we're talking aboutgetting people back up. at this point, not healingcause any hit is lethal. so getting someoneon their feet. travis: i got some potionscause i never use 'em, but...
matt: yeah, you guys have beenhording potions for a while. you've been burningthrough all of them from thesetwo encounters. travis: i've got all theones i've never used. liam: who's on theground by grog? taliesin: you. liam: no, i know i am, butwho else is that? taliesin: it's scanlan, scanlan'son the ground still. liam: is someone up besides me?
laura: well, i want-- it'san action if she-- if she gives itto anybody else. she can't, she can only take itas a bonus action for herself. -travis: go.-liam: go. laura: oh, that's reallygood though. marisha: i wonder how badraishan is looking. taliesin: he hasn't said the phrase. -laura: nineteen.-matt: okay, nice. alright, at the end of pike'sturn, devo'ssa, j'mon sa ord,
is gonna use twolegendary actions to attempt awing attack. taliesin: thank god. travis: come on, come on. matt: he is now like justassailing raishan with their wings. so, raishan has to make adexterity saving throw. that is cocked, try again. no, that is a failure.
raishan's gonna use thelast legendary resistance to resist that. so instead takes... travis: fuck! matt: that's... marisha: she's burned through allof her legendary resistance? matt: seven points of bludgeoningdamage and is not knocked prone. that would havemessed her up. travis: is not knocked prone?
matt: no, she is not,she's safe. okay, that bringsus to scanlan. laura: we just gottaget out of here. sam: fail. matt: that's a deathsaving throw off scanlan. alrighty, that brings usto the top of the round. percy, you are inthe back of a wall. taliesin: i'm taking... matt: the curse of the unscathed!
taliesin: you know, i was gonna take shotsat the eggs, but i give up. i'm taking justshots at raishan. matt: okay, go for it. taliesin: come on. don't be stupid. -that's stupid.-marisha: pretty stupid. laura: oh my god,we're all gonna-- i'm not gonna say it. -we're gonna---travis: don't you-- shh!
laura: we're gonna getthrough this, you guys. we're all gonnaget through this. travis: ♪ i gotta get through this ♪ ♪ i gotta getthrough this ♪ ♪ i gotta get ♪♪ taliesin: yeah, so i've got--that's a-- that's a-- -that's a gun jam.-marisha: fuck. -matt: really?-taliesin: yeah. -laura: fuck.-taliesin: hold on.
taliesin: that's abad gun jam. i'm talking bad,they're both bad gun jams. alright, i've gotone weapon left that can just barely make it, so i'm justscreaming to the world. matt: so you're pullingout retort. taliesin: yeah, retort is outand that's a 23. two more attacks on that, right? taliesin: only one more because i tookan attack with bad news.
matt: that's-- well, bad newstakes an attack to reload. taliesin: but-- no, thefirst shot went-- matt: right, but usually,it's action. taliesin: right, so i have two more-- ihave two attacks with retort. -so, that's---matt: that hits. taliesin: that's um, oh,that's nice. fourteen points of damage. taliesin: and... oh, that was so mean, thatwas almost a natural 20.
-twenty-four.-matt: that hits. taliesin: ah, 16 points of damage. -matt: nice.-travis: nice. matt: let me take someconcentration checks on that. yep and yeah. taliesin: and i'm going to reload, and i'm going to start runningacross the wall away from the fray.
matt: around this way? matt: so, you get about there. taliesin: that far. getting out of the way. it is now backto a lair action. -sam: great.-travis: fuck. matt: the ground in thecenter here quakes and cracks open as afamiliar burst of magma-- -everyone in this vicinity.-laura: goddammit.
matt: i need vex. vax, you're-- liam: well, i gotta go,i've got one success. matt: right, but you're stillunconscious, right? matt: so, you just take-- you justlose a death saving throw. as the magma bursts and spraysaround, so you take one. i need you to makea dexterity save. -i need scanlan---sam: i lose another death save. -matt: you lose another.-laura: you got one left, scanlan?
matt: i need pike to make a dexterity saving throw. travis: me too, right? matt: and you too, grog. sam: he's got high dex, right? right? laura: well, this, you know what? matt: gilmore does not make it. travis: that's not bad.
matt: i'm rolling shitfor damage, that's good. wow. sam: what'd you roll, laurs? laura: i rolled aneight for pike. matt: okay, so-- laura: and a one for me. matt: okay, ten points of firedamage to each of you halved, so you both take five. laura: okay, i'm unconscious.
laura: this is so fun, you guys,i love this fight. sam: let's go-- oh. laura: pike's at 29. travis: i rolled a 19. matt: a 19, okay, you succeed,so you take half damage. so you take five, but you'reresistant from the potion, so half that, so two. two pointsof fire damage. it is now raishan's turn.
marisha: so not good. travis: i just want to goflip the table over. matt: hasted. raishan, by the way, fromthe attack from percy, the damage, you can see raishanis now visibly bleeding. parts of thescales are torn. you can see now, at aclose up vantage point, as much as the previousdragons you've battled have had a lotof resilience,
raishan's taken afair amount of damage, but seems to not bequite as physically hearty as what youpreviously faced and is lookingvisibly hurt. raishan is goingto begin the round, turning tothe rest of you. "i have business elsewhere, andyou're being really obnoxious. stay down." and glancing overis going to go ahead
and with both of her hands,again, release another... she is almostout of spells. cone of cold. laura: oh no, this isgonna be scanlan. marisha: fuck. matt: that is-- i need-- -so, scanlan---travis: no! -matt: scanlan is...-taliesin: god fucking damn it. matt: frozen, coveredin ice, locked in place.
a solid gnomebereft of life. motionlesson the ground. sam: i died as i lived: hard. matt: gilmore takes-- travis: i heard him saythat before he died. matt: gilmore loses adeath saving throw. vax, you take another damage to your twofailed death saving throws. pike needs to make aconstitution saving throw.
grog, constitutionsaving throw. laura: was i in there? matt: you were, so you also-- travis: twenty-four. matt: twenty-four,you succeed. travis: plus 10 forconstitution. -laura: that's good.-travis: fourteen. marisha: jesus. laura: eleven for pike.
matt: okay, that's 30 pointsof cold damage to pike. -laura: seriously?-matt: yeah. laura: she's unconscious. matt: pike is unconscious. taliesin: that's where we're at. laura: we're-- we're--i don't know how we're gonnaget scanlan back. taliesin: i--i have no--there's no-- marisha: that'll be alater question?
taliesin: that may happen. matt: so pike is down. -taliesin: you have a plan?-sam: i have a plan. it involves me humpinga lot of angels in heaven. matt: watching this carnage, you watch as the spell finalizesthe blast of cold arcane energy just careening forthand then fading. the ground itself, which isnow, normally glowing orange, is now covered with avery thin sheet of ice
and you watch steam riseup from the contrasting heat and coldfrom the spell effecting thesurrounding atmosphere. as the mist dissipates, you see a big toothy grincurl across raishan's face. little bit of dragon bloodcurling past her teeth from the woundsthat she's suffered. glaring nervouslyover at j'mon sa ord, who has taken nearlyno damage at this point
and is currently upin raishan's face. raishan says, "well,i'm afraid i have to get to the rest of my day. die amongst yourfriends as you should." and just tears off of j'mon and goes into afull hasted fly away. -sam: does j'mon get---liam: attack of opportunity, j'mon. matt: j'mon does,j'mon is gonna make a bite attackagainst raishan.
with a natural 20! -sam: does that grapple?-travis: are you serious? -marisha: does that grapple?-matt: it does not grapple. but that is... marisha: she'd have to do aconcentration check, right? matt: she will, yeah. that is 18 plus eight. that's 26 piercing damage plusshe's immune to poison. she takes nopoison damage.
that's 28 points ofpiercing damage to her. taliesin: (whimpering) matt: concentration check,oh, she's fine. it's ten plus 14,so, yeah, she's fine. so, the haste does not dispel,however, j'mon bites out and takes a hugechunk of flesh as the teethjust scrape across the back of raishan's wingand shoulder like... but manages to pullaway and at a full
160 foot flyingspeed hasted and just disappearsdown the hallway. marisha: should've done that,should've done it. matt: into the ashesand shadow behind. keyleth, it's your turn. marisha: okay, she has 120 foot--or she just went 160 feet? matt: a 160 feet, yeah. marisha: is she-- but she wasn't--
fuck me,oh my god, okay. can i still see herthrough the tunnel? matt: no, she is outside ofyour dark vision view radius and there is no lightin the tunnel ahead and it is aslight incline. you just watch her just... disappear intothe dark tunnel. currently have nobead of sight on her. travis: smoke the tunnel, dude.
maybe you get her, maybe you don't. i'm gonna shut up. marisha: it's a range thing. i mean, could itry and-- fuck. -this is really bad.-taliesin: yes, it's really bad. marisha: she's so far away, dude. sam: j'mon can chase her. laura: but he's there and-- taliesin: and she's so muchfaster than him.
she's hasted. travis: don't worry, i'm gonnatake off at a run and-- he can only goprobably half her speed. travis: picture butterbeanrunning down an empty street. marisha: 'cause my--my question is-- sam: jarret's still up there. marisha: she didn't necessarily-- laura: just waiting,crossbow loaded. travis: he's just like...
(whimpers) marisha: 'cause could i tryand move up and then do a long rangewall of stone spell? to try and collapse thetunnel before she gets out? it's 120 foot. matt: a 120 foot range? the spell from whereyou are currently, which is over here,she went 160 feet even further awayfrom you than she was,
so she'd be beyondthe distance of the spellunfortunately. travis: cause if you miss,you trap us. laura: yeah, and thenwe can't get out. marisha: no, i mean, i can't-- i mean, i could getus out again, but-- laura: a bunch of dead people, you could get a bunchof dead people out? marisha: i know.
okay, wow. travis: indiana jones andthe last crusade. marisha: this is really bad. okay, i will use... laura: that wasn't herlast spell, by the way. she's got three spell slots left. marisha: who's-- yeah,who's really close? who's like one away? who's like really bad?
-laura: close to death?-marisha: yeah. laura: he's closer todeath than me. liam: i'm two failures. -sam: is pike down?-laura: pike's unconscious. -travis: oh, she is?-sam: get pike up. laura: i'm one fail,he's two fails. scanlan's dead. taliesin: who's got healing spells? wake up whoever can heal.
laura: i've got cure woundsif i'm awake. taliesin: so, get her up. liam: i can heal peopleif i get up. marisha: okay, it doesn't matter. can i kinda jump and make my way over like,this kind of... marisha: this-- can i cross thistinier lava right there? kind of like, or is thata pretty far jump? matt: i mean, you haveto still jump.
so you have to makean athletics check. marisha: how far of ajump is that? matt: it's about six,seven feet. so make an athletics check. marisha: sure, why not? why not at this point? laura: no, keyleth, no. marisha: well, that wasa natural one. travis: on what, on what?
sam: just moving. marisha: just tryingto jump across what should have beenliterally anything else. travis: how many hitpoints do you have? how many hitpoints do you have? sam: it doesn't matter,she's not even gonna get over toanyone to heal them. -marisha: 60.-laura: i don't know, man, lava. travis: one six or six zero.
-taliesin: six zero.-sam: she's fine. but no, she's notnecessarily fine. laura: lava has anew rule now. matt: well, not a new rule,the actual rule. travis: the actual rule that we didn'tuse the very very first time. but we felt it last time. matt: so, as you rushover trying to help, you go to leap,but your foot catches what you thought wassolid volcanic rock.
unfortunately,it's brittle and broken and it slipsbeneath your foot. in doing so, you onlyget about three feet before you plant thelower half of your body straightinto the lava. travis: (laughing) matt: that's 53 pointsof fire damage. -laura: 53!-sam: you're alive! laura: get up, get out,you can get out of it.
you've gotseven points left. taliesin: you died as you lived. marisha: a fucking dumbass, yeah! travis: i can't see! it's just a wall of tears. laura: can she get outof the lava or is she just in? marisha: can i get out now?i'm trying to use my movement or am i gonnadie if i get out? matt: you're essentially prone in the lava.
you rolled a one to jumpand you basically went... -laura: belly flopped into lava. laura: you mean, she's gonna takedamage trying to get out of it? marisha: can i get out? matt: you're technically prone. the rest of your movementwill get you up and out, but it'll justget you out of the lava. -laura: at least you're out.-liam: get out, get out. matt: so, you'll get out and you'llbe just on the edge there.
travis: this is the best. laura: this is the worst! matt: wow! marisha: i was like, as longas i don't roll a one, that shouldn'tbe that hard-- okay. taliesin: oh, look, someone left ametaphor on the ground. don't step in itor anything. oh god,it's everywhere. -travis: oh, shit.-matt: wow.
taliesin: well, thiscould've gone worse. taliesin: yeah! marisha: okay, i'm outof the flame. matt: this whole thing'sa metaphor for 2017. laura: does j'mon sa ordhave any healing spells? marisha: and i reach overas a bonus action and do a healing wordto-- to vax. travis: just-- matt: what level?
travis: come on, stay with it. -stay in the fight.-marisha: level one. oh, that's good, that'sfour so, nine points. sam: nine points. travis: he wakes up! matt: vax is now conscious. marisha: no, i'm sorry ten points,that's ten points. -matt: there you go.-laura: sweet, even better. you're double digits.
scanlan, we've got to just--we've got to get scanlan back. taliesin: there's a lot of workthat needs to happen. travis: i got her,i got-- i got pike. taliesin: who's up? sam: grog is up. taliesin: i mean, who's next? travis: i think it's me. -laura: it's gilmore.-travis: no, it's gilmore. matt: so, gilmore gets up.
kind of looks around. "where did she go?" travis: "through the tunnel." he rushes this way and as he getsabout there, he... slams into something thatis currently invisible. you see a slightripple of arcane energy and you see a seriesof small glyphs spiral outward and then it goessee-through again.
he starts slamminghis fists on it. "of course, of course. of course." matt: he goes and... let's see whathe has left. travis: she made alite brite wall. travis: he's a mime. matt: technically, he looks like amime from your standpoint. marisha: can i turn to j'mon?
say, "j'mon, can yousense her presence? she's a fellow dragon. do you know whereshe might be going or what shemight be doing?" matt: "i haven't the faintest. i only just arrived." travis: oh, fuck, thordak isoutside of the cave! liam: are we out of combat now? travis: thordak is stillin the hallway.
laura: the round's still going. matt: so we're gonna continue goingthrough the order here. laura: so, it's grog,it's your turn, grog. matt: so, grog, it's your turn. travis: i run to my buddy,pike, and i beer bong this greater healingpotion into her gullet. -travis: what is that?-laura: 4d8 plus four. i mean, 4d4 plus four. matt: 4d4 plus four.
travis: eight. twelve. -twelve points.-laura: so, pike is awake. travis: "hi, hi!" -"go, heal!"-laura: "what's going--" travis: "lot of problems." sam: got any more ofthose revivify's? matt: alright, thatends your turn, grog? laura: actually, she does havea third level spell left.
-matt: you do.-marisha: really? -laura: yes! laura: she does have athird level spell! marisha: well, yes, do that,do that really quick! laura: she cast revivify at fourthlevel the last time. marisha: do it, do it, do it. travis: the eggs thatremain are toast? laura: holy shit. matt: two of them arecompletely destroyed
and there is one that hasbeen shot and is leaking. laura: i have it circled. taliesin: don't worry about it. let's get out there. travis: alright, thatends my turn. that brings us to vex. laura: right. i'm scared of all these dice. travis: i'm using what's left of mymovement to go towards that egg.
matt: towards this egg? -travis: yeah, the one shot egg.-matt: okay. taliesin: i'm gonna trysomething weird. matt: that's two deathsaving throws on vex. -travis: you failed it?-laura: i failed it. liam: i stumble over to my sister and cast lay on hands and giveher five to bring her back. matt: so, yeah, cause you'vebeen giving it out-- liam: i haven't done anythingwith lay on hands.
or i might have done it once buti always do very small amounts. i have a total of 15 hit pointscause i'm a third level-- matt: i'm pretty sureyou used it once before. liam: but i've never used morethan five with that spell cause it'sworthless to heal. it's just goodfor bringing up. so i have at least10 hit points left. -matt: go for it.-liam: five hit points. laura: yeah, cause the onlytime you used it before
was when you bamfedup to my broom after i grabbedthe dagger. matt: you're stillprone by the way. you just basicallycrawled over and touched her. -liam: that's fine. i'm gonna use the restof my movement to stand. matt: okay, so you stand up and youstill have half your movement if you wanted to. liam: everyone who'sdown, who's down?
and i don't mean dead. -pike just got---taliesin: pike's up. matt: pike is conscious,your sister's conscious. -liam: is kima conscious?-laura: yes. kima's conscious. liam: so, we've gotdead scanlan. taliesin: and that's--that's pike's problem. liam: and that's it, i'm done. wait, where's that egg?
-matt: which one?-liam: it doesn't matter. laura: it's the last egg. liam: i'm done, i'm done. matt: alrighty, thatends vax's turn. laura: just worried there's gonnabe another lair action in the same spot. matt: kima rushes up and swingingher holy sword in the air, goes for a full swing, noticingthat everybody's now conscious, goes and takes a full swingtowards this invisible barrier.
as it streaks across, you seedivine energy go flying off in a shower of sparks anda giant shimmering, shaking visual on this-- this force wall that stands herein the center of the hallway. as she finishes her attack,it shimmers unscathed. she goes for asecondary attack. strikes again. this time as itstrikes across the sparks are even brighter
and you can see the impactalmost pushing her back off of her feet andas the blade comes to the end ofits second arc. she looks up. the wall still stands. travis: you are shitting me. it doesn't flicker,doesn't-- laura: it needs like adispel or something. marisha: oh my god, i could-- oh my god, i could!
taliesin: alright, that's an option. matt: alrighty thatbrings us to... -matt: j'mon. j'mon rushes. flies up to the edge andkind of takes a moment streak a few claws across it. and where the claws streak, you can see the shimmeringof this force wall. travis: well, phone's out, oh god.
matt: "the phone's out, oh god"? sam: he's calling an uberbecause he knows we're gonna kill himafter this is done. matt: come on, four percent,i got four percent left. sam: four percent, getthis man a charger! -matt: i know.-sam: taliesin! liam: no, no, no. let's start ayoutube video on it. sam: can you runthis over to matt?
j'mon, with each strike, is liketesting the boundaries of it across the sides of thetunnel and just goes... "this magic holds." it holds? "it--it holds?" matt: fun charger. taliesin: let me know, i'vegot maybe a plan. yeah, you've got that. that's an option,i've got another plan.
you know my plan, myplan kind of sucks, but. matt: i'm not getting a charge. sam: give it somebody else. there's a button. matt: that's alright. it happens. anyway. taliesin: no, no, itshould just start. -sam: no, there's a button.-taliesin: oh, there is a button.
sam: there's a button,he'll find it. matt: j'mon, oh, j'mon getsthe breath weapon back. and kind of pushes... both kimaand gilmore aside. "excuse me." and unleashes a blast of burninghot breath across this wall. as it hits, itjust curls across and spreads acrossthe side of the walls as the dragon shields
both kima and gilmorefrom the blast. as it finishes, the flamehas been split the entirety and has no effecton the wall. travis: holy shit. laura: i wonder-- i wonder if thebeehive thing above us, that the holes arecovered in magic as well. travis: are you conscious? laura: am i-- i am conscious.
taliesin: i say, well, maybe killingthe eggs, i don't know. kill the eggs. travis: or maybe it's like apacific rim-- laura: but i don't knowwhat that says. sam: i--i can give it to you. laura: but it's now. my question is,pike runs up, thank you. oh, oh! if she runs up, isshe gonna be able
to get her handon-- on scanlan? matt: well, she was-- she was prone, right? she just came backto consciousness. so she gets upfor half her movement. taliesin: we got a minute. got a minute. travis: i would have pickedher up after the last time. i was being pissed about-- imean, you know, she's so tiny.
matt: being a gnome, it'sone of those things where 25 feet halved and you always round onthe lower end of the scale. at ten feet, she's not closeenough to touch scanlan. yet. marisha: even with thesprinter's boots? matt: sprinter's bootsalready got used. it's got one round use. laura: she says "she can use thesprinter's boots twice"
in all caps. matt: alright then. taliesin: the caps are whatmake it worthwhile. matt: i'll trust her. travis: she's on a 30 second delay so she wrote thatbefore we said it. laura: actually she did writethat before we said it. -matt: good, alright then. then that will be just enoughto put her up next to scanlan.
so, pike puts her hands oneither side of his face and says, "scanlan. your letter to mewas wonderful and i want to dowhat you asked but i can't raise kaylee alone,i need you to come back." and she castsrevivify on him. go ahead androll a d20. laura: i'm so scared. thirteen?
matt: thirteen, okay. as she implores tothe spirit of scanlan in this frozen form, you watch asthe icy crystals that have coalescedaround his form and locked him in his place,his face kind of-- this frozenlook of horror. the ice begins to turninto mist around him and his color beginsto return to his skin.
his expression relaxesas his eyes suddenly focus and scanlan, you findyourself conscious again looking up at pike. tears in her eyes, pulling herhand back from your shoulder. looking up intothe dark, you know, glowing lit interiorof thordak's lair. sam: don't cry. i'm just a little cold. laura: "warm up.
does anybodyhave a blanket?" -sam: "just hold me."-laura: "okay." -travis: she sent a picture.-laura: she did. she sent a pictureof the sprinter's boots cards with two uses. travis: "used twicewhile in rest..." cool, that's whati wanted, thank you. so make sure everyone hastheir equipment cards on them. alright, so thatfinishes pike's turn.
scanlan, you'reconscious now. sam: hi. travis: welcome back, we'restill fucked by the way. sam: what's going on? travis: they sealed us in here with a giant magicscreen across this door. dragon's breath doesnothing, kima does nothing. you know anythingabout this? any limericks formagic cave doors?
laura: glad you'reback, scanlan. sam: thanks, thanks. i've got onething up my sleeve. it's a dog that canrun around and help us. that's about it. laura: are we gonna haveto take a short rest? sam: i don't know,i don't know. what-- there'smagic there? i can't doanything about that.
laura: can i-- can i--i know i'm gonna-- can i broom upto the holes? god, i'm so scared toget on this broom again. taliesin: well, it's not--we're still-- laura: oh, in our order? marisha: we're stillgoing in order? marisha: do you still have a mansion? matt: well, right now, as we'regetting back into this. percy, what are you doing?
marisha: i have a crazy plan. laura: did you let the dog out? sam: no, i don't know what-- travis: who let the dog out? laura: scanlan, did youlet the dog out? sam: keyleth, do youhave a crazy plan? marisha: you only haveto cast the mansion door within line ofsight, correct? sam: yes.
sam: i don't know thatthat's true actually. three hundred feet,300 feet range. laura: do you have it left? -sam: i do.-taliesin: yeah. marisha: okay, two things. one, before we start burningour seventh level spells, i still havestone shape. can keyleth go up to thewall and do i have enough-- is there just enoughroom in the corridor walls
that i couldstone shape-- sam: i could dimension doorout of here. laura: why would you just-- liam: you get a tunnelfor all of us, mate. sam: yeah, that would just be me. marisha: can i stone shape a tunnelkind of around the thing? or is-- matt: first things first, mordenkainen'smagnificent mansion
is a one minutecasting time. matt: so you could do it, butin the process of doing so, you'd probably go throughabout 10 different lair actions in here. taliesin: yeah, there's that. matt: so, keyleth, you're using,you said, stone-- marisha: can i stone shape alittle passage around? do i have just enoughkinda to where i can-- where the barrier isi can kind of carve
a little corridor around? liam: around or under? matt: it would be very tiny and you'd have to crawlthrough to create enough-- cause you're not quite surehow thick the barrier is, so you have to be-- have to roll aninvestigation check and based on yourroll, i'll let you know. taliesin: this is a plan.
marisha: eight. matt: eight? you're not sure,you can give it a shot. marisha: i'm-- might as wellgive it a shot, i mean-- matt: before it gets to you, it doescome back to a lair action. laura: wait, but-- sam: on my turn,i drank a potion. matt: okay, so takeyour healing. sam: that's it.
taliesin: has myturn not come up yet? laura: i hate that we can't getout of this fucking area! matt: sorry, i askedyou what you were doing. taliesin: oh, i want totry something stupid. matt: what do you want to try? taliesin: i want to try and runheadlong at the barrier. well, you have to-- laura: don't get too closeinto this area, percy, cause this is where the fuckinglair action keeps coming up.
taliesin: i want to stayon the wall. matt: stay on the wall, okay. leaving you roughly there. so even a full turn, that's as far as you couldget on a double run. taliesin: yeah, and i'm upon the wall still. matt: cool. alright, now--now this happens. with this, thequakiness of the lair
seems to be subsidinga little bit. there is a tremoron the ground. it only effects thosedirectly around the barrier, so that's my people. everyone succeeds,so no one falls prone. so no effect on thatlair action, per se. alright, past that. you can see inthe distance, past the wall,dark in the tunnel,
which is almost pitchblack beyond the radius, you see this slightpurplish glow and then a flashof purple energy. taliesin: god, fucking damn it! marisha: talking to thordak! sam: should i go? laura: what are you gonna do? sam: distract it, do something. travis: you're gonna beall by yourself.
marisha: okay, i'm gonnastone shape and try and justcast a little, even if it's a corridorjust right around. matt: it's a touch spell soyou have to get up to it, so you're back there. so you just get up tothe edge of the doorway and the wallwith a double run. -marisha: okay.-matt: okay? marisha: i'm go ahead andcan i use a bonus action.
marisha: i'm gonna usemy-- no, no, no, i'm gonna just drink ahealing potion real quick. just one of my greaters. so it is 4d4 plus four. gilmore. taliesin: this poor bookhas seen better days. matt: gilmore doesn'treally have anything that can be ofaid right now. matt: gilmore movesover towards you.
preparing forwhat you're up to, and just kind of puts his handon your shoulder, keyleth, and goes, "whatever you'redoing, i'm right behind you. don't worry." taliesin: hold you up soyou don't fall. matt: grog, you're up. marisha: i'm not feeling veryconfident right now. travis: you look like you're up tosomething, do you have a plan? marisha: i'm trying to stone shapea corridor through this,
but i don't know ifit's going to be enough to get throughthe thickness. -travis: right, as a backup plan... travis: how big isj'mon sa ord? like a big dragonor just like eh? matt: about the samesize as raishan. travis: so, we couldn't likeall falcor on j'mon up to the spider network oftunnels in the ceiling, right? like we couldn't ride him.
matt: raishan and j'mon have avery similar physicality. like their bodies can, muchlike a cat can get really thin, just enough to fitthrough the tunnels, maybe, but not with any riders. you guys would probablybe squeezed off or crushed inthe process. travis: could she get us up there and then follow us upthrough the tunnels if we-- taliesin: we don't knowwhere they go.
travis: it's betterthan this place. they're exhaust tunnels. taliesin: that's fair, although iwill say, before we leave, we should probably makesure all those eggs are down -before we leave anyway.-travis: that's my idea. and then, i'mgonna end my turn. laura: are you gonna runand hit an egg? travis: oh, yeah! laura: there's an eggleft over there.
-taliesin: hit an egg.-travis: shamone! yeah, i'll justrun towards egg. ooh! i'm gonna use all threeof my attacks on that egg. matt: go for it. go for it. marisha: egg doesn't knowwhat's coming. travis: that's a-- that's a 33. -matt: that'll hit.-travis: oh, minus five.
that's a 31, no, 39. matt: okay, so the first strike just cleaves throughthe egg entirely. -travis: oh.-matt: i know. you impact at the point of thebullet that percy left earlier, which kind of left thatspider web crack in the front and that just causesthe entire thing to buckle under the sheer forceof your axe as it swings. the egg gets cutin half, tumbles over,
splattering primordialdragon whelp gore and you can seethe remnants inside of what is now a two-parterprimordial dragon whelp. laura: did it looklike thordak? travis: did any dragon partsspill out of the egg? matt: yeah, as it flewoff and kind-- travis: could i grab a pieceof it, take a step back and try and like throwit towards the wall to see if it bouncesoff as well?
just in case it's like a,you know, lair barcode? travis: hey, we got through! marisha: they got the key card. taliesin: multi-pass. matt: as you pull it up,and this creature is, nearly identical to the onethat you pulled out earlier. it's still deep red crimson, but like fully, fullyprimordial in its visual. you take back a chunk of itand you throw it at the wall
and it justpasses through. sam: what just happened? -marisha: shut up!-laura: you were right! sam: what did he just do? taliesin: you solved it! sam: how, what did he do? liam: destroying the last egg. sam: fucking guy! laura: or by--
marisha: or by-- it'slike he said. we cover ourselvesin dragon goo and then wecan walk through. taliesin: one of the two. travis: residual goo in my hand, i justlike rub it all on my face. matt: it smells terrible. taliesin: you can hop in the egg. it's basicallya hot tub. marisha: we didn't destroyall the eggs, right?
matt: currently, you destroyedthree of them and two werelightning baked and taken offby raishan. sam: my voiceis my passport. marisha: so, do it. it's hard to say. taliesin: i love that movie. laura: maybe we shouldhold onto a piece and try topass through it.
taliesin: hello. matt: well, thatfinishes grog's turn. vex? laura: that's me. i used a level-- did i usea level four spell already? matt: i'm pretty sure you guyswent down guns blazing. taliesin: somewhere in the world, there'sa whole chatroom of people yelling at youtelling you-- laura: oh, that'sright, i did.
i did use itcause i was-- marisha: yeah, i was gonnasay, "somewhere"? laura: so i have alevel three left. who needs healing? me and pikeand everybody. taliesin: there's always--everybody needs healing. -marisha: me.-laura: you do. sam: i got singledig going on. laura: so do i, i got five.
travis: single dig. laura: i got five points,how many you got? sam: i got eight or nine,i can't remember my math. it's pretty bad. wait, if i had one,plus eight would be nine. laura: so you havenine points. i'm gonna takea healing potion. i mean, i'm gonna castcure wounds on myself. -matt: okay.-sam: oh, yeah, you do your thing.
matt: 3d8 plus whatever yourmodifier is, go for it. taliesin: it's all good. marisha: kind of. taliesin: no, it's not, i know,but like, it's looking better. marisha: well, we're not all dead. we just can't die anymore. taliesin: and worst case scenario, we'restuck in here for another round. laura: so, 20 points. -matt: twenty points, okay.-laura: okay.
taliesin: and you didn'teven burn a spell yet. laura: can i run over and get somedragon guts on my hand and then to try to putmy hand through the thingy? matt: with your speed and getting up,cause you were prone. laura: please let meout of this spot. matt: that close right there. you can't quite getto the dragon guts. taliesin: it may justbe that it's down now,
but it may bethe dragon guts. matt: alright, so thatends vex's turn, vax. whatcha doing? liam: i'm just gonna movetowards the gate. put my hand out andsee if i can go through or if i get stopped. matt: you walk right through. taliesin: alright! marisha: it's the eggs,it was the eggs.
liam: alright, everybody! quietly. marisha: hang on, hang on. i'm feeling very guiltybecause it was my rage and anger andwant for vengeance which made me run in hereblindly towards her, maybe we shouldn't do itagain is all i'm saying. taliesin: no, too late. got to finish this off.
laura: does your guilt havea mass cure wounds? in that case,doesn't matter. matt: "forward, now!" and all of youjust start... marisha: avengers rundown the hall. matt: like crawlingover all of you. taliesin: avengers, it'sclobbering time. sam: i--i grab kima and i say,"get ready to hit a dragon," and i'm gonna dimension doorme and kima to thordak's body.
-matt: okay.-laura: oh, geez. matt: kima goes, "wait, what?" as soon as yougrab the shoulder and you bothsuddenly vanish and reappear atthordak's body. you both land witha flash of arcane light. as your feethit the ground, it is an empty tunnel. so, no raishan.
-there is no thordak corpse.-laura: fuck. -sam: there's no thordak's corpse?-marisha: there's no thordak's corpse? -matt: correct.-laura: fuck! liam: she just wantedto talk to it. taliesin: she may havetaken him somewhere. travis: talk to it, my ass. she didn't wantto talk to it. marisha: or she raised him. jesus.
liam: one last rollin the hay. matt: as you guys approach, gilmoresteps up and goes, "i think i havea pretty good idea what that flashwe saw was." -marisha: what?-taliesin: teleport. matt: "getting thehell out of here. son of a bitch!" he takes a rockand throws it. hair's kindof tussled.
marisha: vex, can you sensedragons anywhere nearby? laura: can i sense anyone but j'mon saord as far as dragons go nearby? i drop down to myknees and concentrate. -matt: no.-laura: nothing! nothing. she's nowhere. matt: and that's where we'llend tonight's episode. (all groaning) we have a flightearly in the morning.
travis: oh! laura: i can't believethat we all came back. taliesin: i can't believewe all lived. matt: i can't believeyou all lived. taliesin: that shouldnot have happened. marisha: that wasreally scary. laura: it was justgiant clusterfuck from like halfway through with just everybodyfalling down
and tryingto get back up. matt: well, if-- if you had falleninto the lava, by the way, if youhad rolled poorly, you would have been submergedin lava, which was... laura: unconscious. matt: well, that-- that's18d10 points of damage. if that had exceededyour max hit points, you would have been instantlydead and turned to ash.
liam: been nice if i'dcut out her tongue. laura: so, gone, gone-gone. -matt: yeah. there were afew close calls there. travis: she was like three. i think therewere like nine. marisha: yeah. laura: and then if you hadn'tcounter spelled the color... matt: oh, yeah, theprismatic spray.
that would havebeen real bad. sam: who was sheshooting against? -taliesin: everybody.-marisha: it's a spray. matt: it's a cone that big. taliesin: so it would havebeen almost everybody. matt: just so you guys know, cause it's a fun spellto kind of talk about. taliesin: it is. matt: and each of youwould have been hit
with a differentcolored ray. i would have rolled a d8to see what color had hit you. on a one, you take10d6 fire damage. on a failed save, half. an orange, take 10d6 aciddamage, save for half. yellow: 10d6 lightning damage. so, just randomlyall of you guys basically just take10d6 of something. green: you take 10d6poison damage, half save.
five, 10d6 cold damage. six, on a failed save,you're restrained and you have to keep makingsaves or you turn to stone. seven, you're blinded and you haveto keep saving. a successful save ends it,if you fail the next save, you will be transportedto another plane. sam: there's one where youget to do two things. matt: on an eight, on an eight,
i roll again for two raysagainst that person. -laura: oh my god!-travis: for two rays? sam: what if youkeep rolling eights? matt: keep rolling eights,you're gonna be fucked. it's a fun one. i like that spell. laura: wait, what is a 10? is 10 insta-death,what is 10? matt: it's one d8, so ten would beinstant death, it would be.
if i roll a10 on a d8, sure. you are so done. taliesin: the otherplane of dimension is like literallythe beetlejuice, like send youto the sandworms. you're just-- matt: oops. taliesin: and that's-- you'reout of the fight until they can go findyou if anyone's left.
after everyone elsehas taken 10d-- suck. matt: so, guys, we'll pick this upagain next week on thursday. find outwhere raishan is. travis: maybe. matt: with two eggs and the corpseof thordak, the cinder king. laura: well, hopefully,oh my god. taliesin: red eggs and ham? travis: yeah, she just escapedwith two iphone 7's. matt: you start witha disadvantage.
taliesin: i just want the internet todo a dr. seuss red eggs and-- i just want herwith like a little red steak and two little red-- that's all i want. matt: alright, guys. you guys, we'll see youat magfest this weekend. we'll see youthere shortly. sam: remember, bringyour magazines and have matt andmarisha sign any magazine.
taliesin: highlights. marisha: yeah, all magazines. we will sign them. liam: i mean, you're gonna say,you don't know, but if j'mon had not nurkedthose three attacks that round, might she have gone down? matt: she came pretty close. laura: oh, yeah, if j'mon had notgotten three, two, one. matt: three, two and a one.
marisha: that sucked. matt: that really sucked. marisha: i was about to lay some seriousdamage when she ran away. i was gonna bust out a seventhlevel blight and then she ran. matt: i wasn't getting-- cause thatthe fire breath is nasty. marisha: yeah, and he didn'tfucking recharge it. travis: if your highness wasn't smartenough to break another egg... laura: i got to attackone time that round. every other round wasjust trying not to die.
liam: he should have stretchedbefore the fight. -matt: but anyway.-marisha: happy new year. matt: happy new year! well done, guys,you survived. -marisha: yeah.-taliesin: yay. matt: mostly. thank you so much for oursponsor tonight, nobody. 2017. you guysare our sponsors.
well, everyweek you are. so thank you for allyour wonderful support. happy new year, welcometo the chaos of 2017. we're therealongside you for it. we'll see youguys soon and... is it thursday yet? have a good night.
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