Februari 07, 2017
(no audio) sam: -- is today's sponsor. a leading publisher ofscience fiction and fantasy for over 30 years. that's almost as old as i am. do you like magic?pirates? knives? royals and adventure? then check out shades of magic, the series from tor books.the conclusion of which, a conjuring of light, was just released, so check out the fullthree-book series. go to, there's a promo link somewhere on this page-- i'm gonna say rightthere. let's say right there. travis: yeah, sure! sam: so check that out. and the thing aboutsponsors, guys, is we really need to show them our love. and really show them that we appreciate whatthey do for us every week. they're a big part of
the show, without them we would-- for instance,without sponsors, taliesin would only be able todye his hair platinum blond or brown. taliesin: oh, no. marisha: it's true. taliesin: it's called malibu sunset. sam: yeah. laura's dice budget would go way down.instead of throwing away 250 dice a week, it would maybe be more like 240, 230. laura: oh god. terrible. sam: i mean, liam might have to go back to shavinghis beard
and selling the beard shavings to those in need. matt: to be fair, it was worth it. look at them onmy shelf. sam: i have just a few ideas for ways that youguys could show your love for our sponsors. take them out for a candlelit dinner. i'm nottalking bennigan's, i'm talking something high-end. shake shack, outback, maybe even p.f.chang's. how about sending some romantic texts to spice things up? keep it classy, like: hey,critical role sponsor, i wish you could be with me right now. or, i had a dream last night,and critical role sponsor? you were in it. and hey, compliments always help. critical rolesponsor, do you have a map? 'cause i'm getting lost in your eyes. or: hey, critical role sponsor,of all the beautiful curves on your body,
i'm most in love with your smile. or even:critical role sponsor, on a scale of one to ten, you're a nine, and i'm the one you need. marisha: don't use that one, either, in reallife. taliesin: that would work on me. sam: or you could just go to their website and buytheir products. (all cheer) sam: so, tor books, thanks so much. matt: thank you, tor books, and thank you to allthose mentioned restaurants that will never be a sponsor for us now, and it's probably for thebest.
travis: the bennigan's and the monte cristo. laura: oh man, i hit up bennigan's a lot. matt: i know, i was holding out for the p.f.chang's but, y'know. thank you so much, sam, and thank you, tor books, for being our awesomesponsor tonight. make sure to check out a conjuring of light, now available to you.all right, next up, the new episode of gm tips is out. it came out today and this one is aboutsuggestions on homebrewing content for your systems in game. i have, i think, three moreepisodes that are going on in the coming weeks, so look forward to those. marisha: and then we hand it off to someoneawesome.
matt: exactly. we have a new person stepping in,after those episodes, showing their own flavor to the series. i'm excited about that. marisha: because you can only learn so much fromone teacher. matt: exactly. marisha: the best teachers will teach you that. matt: yep. travis: the teenage mutant ninja turtles only hadmaster splinter. marisha: shut. up. travis: daniel-san only had mr. miyagi.
marisha: this is the real world, okay? this isn'tfantasy. sam: they were homeschooled, okay? matt: and how many times did they have to rebootthat to make it work? travis: that's a good point. matt: eventually ending with the michael bayfilms. so check out that episode of gm tips. as a reminder to all you guys looking tohomebrew: it's hard. it's time consuming. it's not for everybody. laura: but it's so rewarding, matthew. matt: it can be rewarding.
liam: could you do it different though? matt: ugh. so check out the episode knowing that, and we'll have next week's episode nextwednesday. taliesin: your other friends tell me that theymiss you too. so yeah. marisha: mm-hm. that's true. matt: yeah, i know. i'll see people again soon.also, i wanted to give a shout-out. we're in the final 24-hour stretch for the pillars of eternityii: deadfire crowdsourced campaign. so if you haven't yet, or you have interest in seeing thesequel to that, go and check it out. they're doing a final 24-hour stream over on obsidian's streamchannel, of course after our episode tonight.
go give them some love. and last, i have my listhere, i was just able to announce that i voice deadshot in the upcoming justice 2. matt: coming out in mid-may. laura: i play supergirl! matt: yeah! fantã¡stico! so look forward to that.there may be some more surprises as the cast is announced progressively down the road. super happyto be a part of it. laura: super happy. taliesin and marisha: (groan) matt: i need more alcohol.
(all laugh) travis: immediately. matt: immediately. taliesin, you wanted to mentionsomething about your new show? taliesin: yeah, we had the very first episode ofthe wednesday club this week. travis: yeah! taliesin: i have now had eight hours of sleep,which is pretty magical. marisha: it was so good. taliesin: it was fun. and we're gonna be back thisweek with our next episode. we're actually gonna be talking about a lot of things, includingcharacters with mental health issues in comic
books, both superhero and otherwise. includinglegion, from the x-men, who has currently got a show on fx which is magical. travis: yeah he does. it's really good. matt: it's really, really good. holy shit. taliesin: it's so good. so tune in, it's noon 'tiltwo on wednesdays, on the twitch stream where you probably are right now. matt: noon 'til two pacific. taliesin: and i think we bumped it to alpha,but i don't remember, maybe not. and then it'll be on the rebroadcast if you wanna see it,but it's gonna be a lot of fun. matt key and amy
dallen will be there, it's gonna be great. matt: cool. thank you, taliesin. if nobody elsehas anything else to say... travis: cheese is for everybody. not just me. sam: did you just say jesus for everybody? travis: cheese. marisha: cheez its? liam: jesus for everybody. matt: cheezits christ for everybody. travis: cheez its crust.
matt: without further ado, let's bring us intotonight's episode of critical role. (opening credits) matt: hello, and welcome back. so, picking upwhere we last left off. vox machina, having defeated the chroma conclave, and restoring orderand, for the time being, peace to the landscape of tal'dorei, resurrected your friend, scanlanshorthalt. however, he realised he needed some time to himself, to both connect with his interestin direction and life, and with his estranged illegitimate daughter, kaylie. upon leaving,the party proceeded to find their way to close all the loose ends that they hadn't quite had timeto get to with the conclave's assault. that involved returning the ashes of senokir's wife tovasselheim,
and then making your way to ank'harel to deliverthe hands of ripley to the scarbearers guild. on your way there you encountered a newadventurer, taryon darrington, who was looking tojoin an adventuring group for experience-- liam: he's my favorite. matt: yes, he's the best. he paid his way intoyour service and upon being returned to whitestone you gave him a hazing, which broke him enough tobe a little more honest with his reasoning for going on this adventure. laura: let's not call it a hazing. it was anaudition. matt: it was an audition, it was a brutalaudition.
marisha: (singing) don't call it a comeback! matt: there you go. in which, knowing more aboutyour new companion, you accepted him for the time being, understanding the dangers that are involvedin following your path and he accepted. you made your way to emon, looking as a way to find passagetowards vesrah, the home of the water ashari and the hopeful completion of keyleth's aramente.upon finding and hiring a crew under the captain adella, you made your way onto your new ship andbegan to traverse westward onto the ozmit sea. travis: shit, we're on a boat. we're on a boatmotherfuckers! marisha: (singing) don't you ever forget! matt: there is that.
liam: we are noble creatures. matt: so. travis: (gasps) i hear the ocean. sam: that's someone snoring. taliesin: it's a rainstick. matt: so you guys have been at sea for a handfulof days. it's been relatively uneventful. the boat slowly rocks, as the waters of the ozmitare much calmer by comparison to that of the lucidian ocean. making them a much more populartrade route pass between the various continents on this side of exandria. now the slow rocking of theboat, across the somewhat choppy waters,
leads some of you into a relaxing lull over thesedays. others, into perpetual bouts of nausea. but you notice that captain adella runs arelatively tight ship. her crew works like clockwork, at her order, and the skies arethankfully clear these first few days, and the journey so far is mild. what would you guys liketo-- is there anything you wish to accomplish as you are travelling across the sea? taliesin: i've got a little bit of sketching,and working on something simple, that i might even try and build while i'm here. marisha: i'll catch up on some reading, i guess.some of my alchemy reading. matt: okay.
taliesin: stephen king novel. marisha: from i've been doing, trying to make thatbetter. matt: fair enough. anyone else? liam: i have been sort of shadowing grog for acouple of days, 'cause he doesn't have any gnomes to hang out with. travis: oh that's right. oh, fuck, it's real whenyou said it! liam: i have been playing boulder, parchment,shears, and telling him stories. travis: the non-violent kind. liam: yes, yes. just hanging out, off and on.
matt: okay. vex? laura: i guess i've been trying to get to knowtary a little bit better. and also flying likevex-kite behind the ship. matt: okay. and taryon? sam: lots of push-ups, trying to beef up my pecs.i also, at the start of every day, i'm going to take two of those-- i have a bunch of silver coinsthat i carry around with me, and i'm gonna cast a couple of spells into them, just to have them atthe ready. i cast fly into one and blur into the other. matt: okay, good to know.
sam: and then i would probably wander down to goodold percy, and just ask him if he needs help withany tinkering. taliesin: oh yeah, no, i wanna see what he has,too. like, there's gonna be some trading.i'll show stuff. matt: i'll show you mine, if you show me yours? taliesin: oh yeah. matt: perfect. so, as the two tinkering nerdsbegin to reveal their secret inner interests, vex, you, about three days into this venture,you catch what looks to be a dark spot right on the horizon. midday, maybe like two o'clock in theafternoon, it's a warm sun, this far, as you start
moving westward and southward, you head closer towhat would be the equator of the planet. it's getting warmer, and the sea spray is comingup, the smell of seawater and brine occasionally meets your nose, as the ship hits the variouswaves as they come across, but you're still keeping a keen eye out. and it's just endless seain all directions, you see no landmass, but you see a little bit of something appearing at thehorizon. laura: like land, potentially? matt: it could very well be land. laura: i guess i'll fly down and-- i'm gonna tryand stay off the deck as much as possible, since it makes me so nauseous.
matt: so you just glide around the-- laura: yes. travis: your imaginary character is alsonauseous. laura: potentially, yes. travis: that's a bummer. laura: i know, right. vex hasn't had a lot ofexperience with ships, you know. liam: does your real self also get sea sick? laura: i may have fed a couple sharks in mylifetime. travis: she painted the ocean. it was amazing.
marisha: ooh. laura: i'm gonna fly down and tell captainadella. matt: okay. keeping an eye out, and as you move,you catch a little more of the shape in the distance. it looks a little small to be alandmass. if it is landmass, it's a very smallone. laura: oh. matt: but it's stationary. laura: oh, it could be another ship, possibly. matt: it could be a ship, it could be anythingthat would be stationary. literally, it's only
because of your keen vantage point, and your honedeyesight, that you're able to even make that slight, little bump in the horizon from here. laura: all right. captain? matt: as you fly down, you see her, she's at thefront of the ship. she has her one hand currently on the wheel, and she's looking out,chatting to the side with one of her crewmates, and turns around as you fly down next to her.she's surprised at your immediate appearance and she's like, "oh, (gasps) sorry, i--" laura: you'll get used to that someday. matt: one of these days, i'm sure.
laura: (laughs) matt: "what can i do for you?" laura: i see something on the horizon; do you knowof any masses in the area? maybe a ship, or island, or-- matt: "take the helm." she hands off the wheel toone of her compatriots, and she rummages over in oneof the small chests to the side, and pulls out alarge scroll and slams it onto a table she keeps maybe ten feet off to the right of her. and shegoes through and pulls out a few instruments. marks the sun and takes a good fiveminutes or so getting a really strong idea of where the
positioning is. she looks down. "no, not much inthe way of landmasses out here, my dear." laura: do you have a telescope? matt: she goes and pulls out her particular eyeglass. it's small, but functional. glances over, and you look over in the direction and point itout. there's nothing on the horizon. laura: may i take that and fly up? i swear i'llgive it back. matt: there's a long pause-- laura: i've got nowhere to hide. liam: careful, butterfingers. matt: passes it over.
laura: up. matt: you take off, look up, extend it, keeping aclose view. go ahead and make a perception check. travis: first one of the day. laura: (screams) first one, first one, first one.which of you? travis: set the tone. roll like a champion. laura: okay, okay, okay, okay. liam: natural one, the spyglass has fallen in theocean. laura: shut up, don't say it out loud! travis: why did you go with the weenie one?
laura: shut up. 21? matt: 21? okay. you take a moment and glance outin the same direction you were, and you scan past the horizon. nothing. laura: motherfuck. well, i come back down.it went under water, whatever it was. does that mean it was big enough to be some sort of seamonster? was it a sea monster? matt: "i sincerely hope not, for all of our sakes.but, nevertheless, i'm gonna go ahead and have "the men man our ballistas. just to be safe." laura: how quickly do those things move? matt: "what things?"
laura: sea monsters. matt: "depends on the sea monster." laura: this one was very large. matt: "hopefully slowly." and she shouts off,"full sail!" a bunch of the deckhands start pulling the ropes down, letting the sail come to afull-- flutter of wind itself isn't too terribly strong, but it's enough to at least inflate thesails even further, and give a little more of a speedy direction. laura: i wanna go back up and keep an eye,with the spyglass, on any kind of movement, that looks like it's coming towards us.
matt: okay, cool. some of her men go over andstart loading the large ballistas to the back of the ship. anybody else hanging out on the deck? travis: can i run to the bow of the ship? headingfor a new land. laura: oh wow. travis: in new york you can-- no, sorry. travis: on the bow of the ship. matt: there you stand, at the bow of the ship. you see at the very front there's the point,the-- oh man. taliesin: are you really?
travis: what? marisha: are-- you're not... travis: no, i'm just looking to see what i cansee. like one leg up, captain morgan style. matt: there you go. as you glance out, with yourhand above on your brow, guarding the bright, cloudless sunlight down upon you, it is justendless ocean. travis: is there one of those amazing naked ladieson the front of the ship? holding out the pole,that comes out from the front? matt: make a perception check. travis: come on, gil. three.
matt: it's still hard to see from this vantagepoint. you'll probably have to climb out there, and climb down in front of the ship to see. sam: he's in the back of the ship. travis: do we mean to be going backwards? marisha: i go up to the deckhands who are manningthe sails. hi, heard it was full sail, full-- do you need help with anything? to do-- you need-- laura: wow. marisha: i can make, like, wind. travis: oh, you can!
marisha: and we can maybe get there faster. matt: the gentleman who is there, currentlywrapping a rope around his forearm, as he's pulling it down with his full weight, you can seehe's maybe in his late twenties, though still going a little grey in the beard, for such a youngage, but his skin is weathered, he's kind of missing a few teeth. he's got a large piece of--like a bandana of cloth wrapped around the front of his head, and just a leather tunic. he kind oflooks back to you. "um, i've got it, but thank you." marisha: oh, okay. 'cause i can-- you're doinggreat. good work. matt: right, okay.
taliesin: i'm gonna grab bad news and run up tothe crow's nest and see if i can see anything. liam: guess word has gotten around the ship then. matt: yeah. well, she did shout 'full sail,' i guess maybe you went up to see what was going on. you get up to the crow's nest. go ahead andmake a perception check. taliesin: make some room in here. what is myperception? that's 20. matt: 20, okay. you get up there, lean out,getting a view, you can see maybe 45 feet up, vex is also keeping her eye out via broom.taking her lead, and the direction she's facing, you glance out in that direction, but it's justopen sea. taliesin: i'm gonna keep an eye out for a moment,for a little bit.
liam: is tary down below? sam: i was, but i came up too. hi, hello, hi.i have one of those little sticker things you put on the back for motion sickness. sam: one of these. laura: one of those things you put on your wrist?yeah. sam: hi, good day, good day, all. travis: bidet. sam: good day, hi, hi. that's it. matt: all right.
marisha: i shout out to percy, what are you guyslooking for? everyone's so excited! this is so exciting. travis: why are you shouting? we have earrings. marisha: i was-- because we're on the high seas,and that's what sailors do. travis: is it? marisha: yeah! see, we're sailors, now! travis: we're sailors now. taliesin: she doesn't have to know what sailorsactually do. matt: the shiphand who's manning the sail who's afoot from you right now just reaches up and covers
his ear and goes, "uh. we don't really yell thatloud all the time "into each other's ear, but thank you." travis: yo-ho-ho! and a... help. marisha: yeah. taliesin: keyleth, ask the captain if she wants tohave extra speed from your wind. marisha: captain. taliesin: the captain, yes. marisha: i was-- i'm not talking to you, anymore,percy. captain. matt: as you approach from behind, she's currentlyholding the wheel, and she doesn't even turn her
head to you, goes, "yes?" marisha: would you like more speed behind thosesails? matt: "i mean, always, but--" marisha: okay! and then i go back and i startdoing gusts into the sails. matt: okay, gust is a what-level spell? marisha: well, it's a cantrip, or i could do alevel three gust of wind. matt: gust would be like a (pfft). it's more of aheavy fart. marisha: sorry, level two gust of wind. laura: basically you're blowing really hard.
matt: a level three gust of wind, you said? marisha: level two, level two. gust of wind. matt: concentration for up to a minute, so okay. so as you focus-- actually, this is not a spell-- laura: we're gonna be so fast for a minute. matt: second-level spell, and it cannot be done ata higher level. marisha: okay. matt: however, it gives you a full minute of avery focused gust of wind of, as it-- the sails billow even further. you can see the ropestighten, the guy with the rope around his arm
goes, "ow ow ow ow!" has to unwind it real fast,go in and ratchet it to the side. but the sails pick up, and the ship itself picks up speed.for the next minute you've got a nice burst or so. you watch as the captain looks over theshoulder to you and gives you a nod, an approving nod, wordless, but-- sam: i turn to doty, and i say, take this down.with an efficiency and an effective leadership role model for everyone, the redhead continues topropel us forward, faster and faster, to everyone's surprise and respect, including thecaptain. as the salt licks my nose, and the sweet smell of adventure is in the air, i know that withher on our side, we will be strong and we will beprotected. end of chapter.
matt: the tension on the ship-- marisha: hey, look! i've got rubber booties!(laughs) sam: you're amazing. marisha: aren't i cool, tary? sam: yes you are, ahoy! marisha: ahoy! sam: (hearty laugh) delightful! matt: the tension on the ship slowly recedes overthe next hour as there is no sign of anything else. laura: nothing?
liam: hey, man! liam: you can't walk off in the middle of a gameof hide-and-seek again. i've been in a barrel for an hour! i fell asleep in there! travis: i'm sorry, i get so distracted. didsomeone find you? liam: no, i just woke up in a barrel, i don't evenknow what time it is-- travis: found you. liam: touchã©, grog. travis: hey, do you want to help me? i thinkthere's one of those wooden naked ladies on the front of the ship but i can't really see.
liam: uh. travis: wanna reach a hand around and see if youget a handful of wooden boob? liam: do you want me to do a reach-around,is that what you're asking me to do? travis: i might not ever ask you again, but rightnow, yes. liam: okay, yeah, this is not like the woodnymph-- never mind. travis: no, no, no. liam: i go ahead and do a reach-around, isuppose. matt: okay. you shimmy out onto the front of theship. you do actually see just the cusp of what looks like a pair of hands that are clasped,carved into the top of where the wooden point at
the front of the ship is. so there is definitely afigure there. liam: yeah, i'll hang down. matt: okay. you hang down, and reach, as onewould. taliesin: this got weird quick. matt: as you kinda grasp over and hold and feelaround there-- laura: this is so ridiculous. matt: -- not finding much in the breasts,but you find a bulge. it does indeed have a figure at the front of the ship, this one is notfemale. liam: is it a wang?
matt: yeah. liam: nice. matt: i mean it's a bulge where one would be,yeah. liam: okay. marisha: this is an equal opportunity ship. laura: that's right. liam: pat, pat, pat. travis: what you got down there? liam: oh, she's a beaut, grog, i wish you couldsee her.
travis: really? describe her to me in vividdetail. liam: oh, uh. athletic, hearty. you know,curves in all the right places. travis: i'm loving this. liam: yup, yup. your type, i think. travis: man, battle scars? travis: how many breasts? please say three. liam: it's one good, one good chest, here.you know what, i will draw you a picture. all right? travis: yeah, that's great!
liam: okay. i'm gonna try to climb up withoutfalling into the drink, all right? travis: oh, yeah, that'd be good. matt: okay, go ahead and make an athletics checkreal fast travis: (giggles) liam: is this my character sheet? liam: that's a five. matt: that's a five? (laughs) you hear this briefbit of tension (sound of exertion). and then a (splash). laura: (gasps)
travis: vax? vax? yeah, okay, right, you fell offthe ship. right? vax? um?! sam: first player death. travis: i think vax may have fallen overboard. marisha: grog, what did you do? travis: i know it could be a very elaborate joke,but you know that sound when you deuce, and it goes â (ker-ploop)? travis: i just heard that and i think it was vax. marisha: ugh. laura: can i look down in the water?
matt: (laughs) yeah, you look down, you don't seeanybody in the water, but a moment passes and you glance over and there, up the side of the ship,with two daggers, climbing, and soaking, sopping wet with seawater, which has caused allof the heavy, thick black fabric to just become an additional 40 pounds on him, you watch vax makehis way up to the top of the ship once more. liam: this is the best this armor has smelled inweeks! liam: ugh. i love the ocean! laura: i'm gonna land in the crow's nest withpercy. travis: that was amazing! you are so drenchedright now. liam: i'm twice as heavy as normal.
travis: man. yeah, no seriously, she's thatstunning, huh, in the front? liam: i start-- travis: i can't wait for the picture. liam: oh yeah, yes, big. travis: yeah. liam: big. travis: big booby. liam: that's you. marisha: i kinda do a quick, like, druidcraft gustand dry him off a little bit.
matt: okay. it's like holding a hairdryer to him,just (loud whooshing). matt: his lips are like (pbbbft) off to the sidebriefly. liam: i shake like a husky a little bit. matt: all right, you said you head to the crow'snest with percy? taliesin: yeah. matt: okay. anything in particular, just keepingwatch? laura: just keeping watch. taliesin: sitting and sketching. laura: yeah.
taliesin: looking out every now and then. laura: i don't feel as nauseous up here,it's nice. taliesin: quite nice. matt: all right. about two hours later, i'll haveyou both roll perception checks, if you could. liam: this is the laziest day we've ever had. laura: i know, it's nice. matt: mm-hm. taliesin: wow, no. matt: days at sea, it's nice.
sam: meanwhile, whitestone burns. matt: shh. travis: getting flashes. laura and marisha: no! taliesin: to be fair, i'm not really looking verymuch. matt: fair enough. taliesin: 11. matt: okay. 11. yeah, you're distracted. travis: oh, jeez.
taliesin: i'm distracted. matt: with your companion. laura: 18. matt: 18. okay. taliesin: you're less distracted. laura: uh, pretty distracted for vex. travis: is it clear skies or are we sailingthrough fog? matt: uh, no, it is clear skies. travis: right, so we could just look up,and see horror.
taliesin: wait, what? laura: we're not having sex, we're just talking. travis: oh! taliesin: just having a chill. it's just to chillup there. it's nice. travis: oh, right. liam: just like a prom make-out, that's all. laura: no! just chatting. taliesin: you're just sitting and drawing in abasket! travis: in a crow's nest? like a big laundrybasket? it's just like--
taliesin: yes, it's basically a hamper. travis oh, okay. liam: it's the most privacy you've had-- sam: any hand action going on? taliesin: oh my god! matt: (laughs) jesus christ! laura: no hand action, no hand action. taliesin: that got dark. matt: anyway, you guys, due to distraction,catch it about the same time the rest of the
party does. as you look ahead and notice thatthere is a fog bank forming maybe a few hundred feet ahead of the ship. travis: called it. laura: oh, shit. marisha: who sees it? matt: well, everybody does now. marisha: oh, everybody does now. can i do a naturecheck to see if it looks like natural ocean fog? matt: go for it. marisha: that's not great. 14.
matt: 14. it doesn't take much for you to realizethat this fog is pretty localized. it's not an entire bank that covers the entirety of the oceanin actuance. you kind of travel from one side of the boat to the other to get the scope of it.it's pretty narrow and pretty focused in its direction. marisha: does this look like something that iwould have? like, is this another druid doing afog cloud spell? matt: you recognize this to be of similar sizealthough magnified. marisha: bigger than us? matt: a little--
marisha: than my spell. bigger than my spell? matt: bigger than the usual spell that you areused to casting but it does appear localized enough to be of a similar-type spell or effect. travis: hey, keyleth? travis: quick question. is there a d-- decor-- uh,like a proper way to announce ourselves? sam: protocol. travis: thank you. marisha: well, i-- matt: the ship suddenly lists a bit as you watchas adella is now turning the wheel and turning the
ship to try and veer around the fog bank thatsuddenly has appeared, and she's shouting off to some of her crew. they're starting to man theballista at the back of the ship once more-- laura: is this normal? is this a sea monster? matt: "um. it's fog!" travis: (laughs) matt: "i have not yet encountered a monster thatcreates fog! "but i'd rather not be caught off guard." marisha: wait, wait, wait, this-- sam: i can communicate with semaphore if that'ssomething you'd like me to do?
travis: what's semaphore? sam: it's communication with flags. it's aprimitive communication technique that i learned in many of my studies, boat-to-boat it's reallyhelpful. i pull out a couple of pieces of fabricand start gesturing-- travis: holy shit. you're that guy. travis: where is the other boat? sam: well, you just said to announce ourselves,i could announce. vox-- laura: i wonder if they can see through the fog? sam: -- ma--
travis: yeah, we should have him do that.you should go to the front of the ship-- sam: -- chi-- travis: -- and just make sure they know we'recoming. marisha: can you do any flourishes? sam: -- na. marisha: can you do any like tosses? like colorguard? sam: oh, no, no. marisha: oh, damn. all right. sam: that would be really cool, though.
marisha: sorry, captain? how close are we to ourdestination? this could be vesrah. matt: "from the recent calculations i made on ourmap, we're at least a day and a half out." marisha: really? does this look to beisland-sized? matt: she's glancing over the front and-- youguys, by the way, are up there in the crow's nest and one of the ship hands is now climbing up therope net to get to the top as part of his job-- laura: it's a little crowded up here, but-- matt: -- he gets up there and goes, "um." laura: i hop on the broom and get out of it so hehas more room. taliesin: i'm used to this enough, i know how tomake room from last time i was on a boat.
matt: he hops in and pulls out his spy glass andbegins looking out. shouts down to the captain. "captain! it's moving!" laura: it's moving! taliesin: it's moving? matt: and you watch as she shifts-- the shipbegins to turn wide to move around and the fog shifts to meet the direction of the ship. travis: smart fog. laura: i just pull out an arrow and get ready. marisha: so it's coming towards us?
matt: mm-hm, or the ship is going towards it. laura: i'm going to tie off a rope to the broom. taliesin: not a bad idea. matt: all right. she continues to try and movearound, and the fog cloud shifts around, shakes her head and you hear as adella shoutsout, "all right, looks like we're going in. "be at the ready!" and eventually the fog bankhits the front of the ship, and within moments your visibility is cut to nothing. matt: you can see no more than maybe a few feetpast the edge of the boat, and for those at the back of the ship, the front of the ship isobscured. those at the front of the ship,
the back of the ship is obscured. it is a very,very thick fog that has completely immersed the outside of the ship. travis: vax, don't try anything. taliesin: everybody keep checking in. sam: i will flip a coin to jumbo over there andtell him, listen, if things get hairy you mightwant to use this. travis: use what? i can't see you. sam: oh, god! shit! marisha: i do another gust of wind and clear theship deck and clear the path ahead of us.
matt: okay. they clear out, and slowly the fogbegins to choke back inwards. slowly, it does help temporarily, but as the ship moves forwardbasically you move past the area that you've cleared out a little bit, and the rest of the fogtends to envelop it. marisha: i'm going to see if i can see what thisis from underneath the water. i'll be back. and i swan-dive off of the edge and into thewater. laura: did you say it over the earring? marisha: yeah, bye. i'll be back. bye! i'm going to do alter self to give myselflittle gills and little fin hands and go with the ship.
sam: as i see her do this, i am going to altermyself to have the same. marisha: oh! what's up, tary? sam: i pick up the coin and hand it to grog andsay, this will make you fly. and i'll dive over the edge as well. matt: okay, tary gives a graceful, if a littleclunkier, dive. in full armor, which makes it hard to swim. sam: oh, shit. matt: but you can breathe underwater. it's mediumarmor, it's not too crazy, you're fine. but you with a much heavier splash. you look behind you,and see taryon has met you in the water with the
gills also kind of extending out of the sides ofhis neck. i would like both of you to make perceptionchecks. matt: make perception checks, please. marisha: don't fuck me, gil. sam: 16. marisha: it was cocked. it was right on a 20,which sucks. that's all right, perception check, 24. matt: 24. okay, as you guys hit the water and gounderneath for a second, you can see amongst the water, which is relatively still out here,and there's still the fog above,
you see a slight displacement in the water. sam: oh, there's something in the water, a boat. matt: keyleth, you look over and you can see thedisplacement. there is nothing dark, but it's almost like something is pushing down into thewater, or like there is a concave portion of the water. marisha: but nothing under the surface? nothingbreaking the surface tension of the water? matt: it is breaking the surface tension,like it's in-- as you glance over you can see there's what appears to be an unnatural break inthe waves like a path. laura: like it's invisible?
matt: it's like another ship or something of thatsize is currently keeping in time with the drensala vis. taliesin: oh. marisha: it looks smooth. it looks man-made? matt: well, you don't see what's there. all yousee is the break in the water. marisha: it's invisible. okay, i come up out ofthe water and i use my earring to communicate thatto everyone else. travis: do you still have your fucking gills on? marisha: it's, you know--
i don't know, do i? laura: does that mean you choke? travis: yeah are you like-- marisha: can i communicate? sam: she has gills but she keeps her mouth andstuff right? marisha: i can still talk. matt: you can still speak, i'd say, once you breakthe surface of the water. marisha: yeah i come out of the water andcommunicate it. taliesin: you sound like kim carnes. everybody,this is great.
marisha: a little bit like linda blair. matt: all right, you guys hear keyleth begin toinform you as you hear off to the left side of the ship two localized sounds-- it sounds like woodslamming into wood or some sort of a heavy impact, two in rapid succession. and you watch as fromout of the fog two extremely long metallic jagged and almost like hooks or giant grappling hooksslam into the ship with chains behind them that suddenly grow taut. the rest of the crew begins toturn around and move their ballistas in the direction of where the chains come from,but you still see nothing there. the fog is too thick. liam: i'm going to hide.
matt: okay, go ahead and roll a stealth check. travis: and we can see the hooks, right? matt: you can see the hooks, yes. laura: can we see the hooks from the crow's nest? matt: it's just out of view. you watch them passthrough, and you see them arc below you, and then vanish into the fog. and you hear theimpact and the ship kind of (impact noise) from the hit. laura: i want to try and hover down so i can see alittle better. taliesin: are you with me?
taliesin: i'm going to very quietly say that i'mgoing to grab onto your broom and head towards that end. i'm also going to activate the spiderclimbing boots. travis: i would definitely like to go and see thegiant sea creature claw that just grabbed onto the boat. matt: okay, you rush up to the edge of this giantclaw that's hit it and you can see it's a thick-- like a dark iron pole maybe about that long-- matt: -- it's about that big around and has alarge chain affixed to it that just progresses off that side of the boat into the fog. it looks likea series of giant hooks or curved spikes, and it has jammed and dug itself and dragged andcaught on to the actual deck of the ship.
travis: good news, not a sea monster. bad news,a big hook that leads to nowhere. laura: get it off the ship. can you pull it off? travis: sure. so i'll try and lift the hook offthe ship. matt: go ahead and make a strength check. travis: 15. matt: 15. you're lifting right now and it's notshifting. unfortunately, the weight of both the ship moving forward, the tension on the chain andthe hook, and the hook being so heavily dug into the deck, like versus that portion you're just notgetting enough of a lift. there's too much torsion on the actual connection to the ship.
travis: you know what, i want to see where thisleads. i'm going to leave it here. liam: fuck you, physics. marisha: i'm going to swim closer to where thechains are coming from and swim closer to the invisi-ship. sam: i join her. laura: trinket's going to run up next to grog. matt: okay, so trinket and grog are now heading tothe left side of the ship-- travis: hey, buddy. matt: --you guys are swimming in the water towardsthat direction, and you watch as suddenly what was
once a slight displacement in the water becomesvisible. and you see before you a smaller, more compact-looking ship, but it has a series ofiron plates all across it in various places. it's armored from all directions, haphazardly. not a beautiful construction per se, but made forfunction. marisha: i'm going to come up-- oh, go ahead. matt: you look up, and from what you can see onthe edge of the ship, and you can see what appear to be two small gray crystals that are giving afaint glow, and it looks like they are actually creating and emanating this fog that issurrounding the space. travis: awesome.
taliesin: fog machine. marisha: i'm going to come up and, in the path asthe ship is going by, can i do a poof of faerie fire in front of it? to see if i can faerie firethe ship? matt: okay, well, you can only faerie firecreatures in a small area, a ship-- marisha: it's not going to do it. matt: --probably shouldn't be faerie fire. marisha: okay, then i'm going to see if i can--can i try and grab onto the side of the ship? matt: with just your fingers? it's pretty-- imean-- okay, you know what, i will say because of the iron plating there is a little bit of a grip.
marisha: the seams? matt: go ahead and make an athletics check. travis: with your webbed fingers. sam: can i join her on this? matt: mm-hm. you can, indeed. marisha: natural one. matt: you reach up and grab, and about three nailssnap, and you lose your grip, falling back into thewater. taliesin: oh, ow.
laura: that's just mean. marisha: that shit hurts. sam: athletics? matt: yes. sam: ten. matt: you barely hold on. you don't climb,but you hold on and watch as keyleth just-- sam: oh! i'm alone. sam: do i see her in the water? matt: you see her splash and disappear under thewater below.
the fog is starting to close around the area. sam: shit. she can swim; she'll be okay.she's so strong and powerful. marisha: do i see tary? matt: you just went under the water. you come backup and you watch tary vanish as you're now being left behind. the ships are traveling faster. laura: keyleth, can you do anything about thisfog? marisha: yes! once i track down the ship.i kind of swim up and i say, tary can you catch-- this might be bad. do i see any type of-- what arethey called? cleats. the ship cleats. do i see anything like ship cleats? right?
taliesin: yeah, no, that's right, it's the littleprongs. marisha: like the little things, the prongs.do i see anything like that? i want to try and do a-- like a grasp-- like thorn whip myself to theship. matt: you see one, it's a little ways up fromwhere the ship is actually hitting the water. you would have to probably swim close enough toget there. i'm going to say, make an athletics check to see how quickly you can try and swimagainst the ocean just for this brief moment. you're going to have to roll pretty high. marisha: well, that's not great. just straightathletics? marisha: athletics is pretty good! 15!
matt: 15? marisha: yeah! matt: i'll say you don't fall too far behind theship, it's still going faster than you and the water is kind of up and down. using your alterself gills, you can dive below the surface to try and avoid the choppiness of the ocean, and youcome back up. what's the range on your thorn whip? marisha: 30-foot range. matt: 30-foot range, and it pulls whatever isthere ten feet towards you. we can say it'll pull you ten feet towards it. so it gives you a slightarc, but not enough to actually reach the ship,
you can just cruise past the grasping range oftaryon. so, taryon, as you're there on the side and you glance over and you watch as keylethsuddenly produces a large thorny whip, a druidic vine that wraps around the small cleat on the sideof the ship. matt: and you watch as she arcs out of the fogtowards you, reaching her hand out in your direction. sam: i will-- marisha: tary! sam: yes! sam: yes, grab my hero's hand.
matt: okay. you grab her hand-- marisha: tary! i want to apologize right now.because in this moment, i am a damsel and i am in distress! marisha: so cross it off, bitch. come on! matt: make a strength check. sam: okay. okay. taliesin: oh, please. oh, please. sam: wait, strength? matt: yes, just a strength modifier bonus.
sam: i'm feeling lucky! yeah. sam: 19. liam: hey! matt: okay. all right. you grab her, and you-- itpulls you from two points, but you had managed to keep your hold and grasp keyleth, now danglingfrom your arm. sam: i did a lot of pushups today! ow, ow, ow,ow. matt: it is. you're very sore-- matt: you are very sore, but you manage to get herright up to the edge of the ship, and she manages to get a grip onto the edge.
sam: i. was amazing. marisha: you were. today, in this moment, for this 30seconds of time-- sam:â augh! taliesin: i'm gonna be in the middle of this formonths. marisha: --you were a hero. taliesin: i'm gonna be right in the middle ofthis. for months. okay. sam: we'll omit that part. taliesin: did it leave a little stain?
sam: it's in my nose. marisha: thanks. okay. matt: you look up at this point and you can justbarely see the chain, and you watch as a couple shapes, just barely visible through the fog,are now leaping across the chain towards your ship. so-- marisha: i give a heads up. heads up, heads up,people. incoming forces, coming your way! matt: you guys in the ship, you glance over wherethe chains are currently pulling taut. you watch as a series of humanoid figures wearing dark,dark green and black leathers, their faces partially obscured, rush onto the ship,weapons drawn.
i'm gonna ask everyone to roll initiative. marisha: fuck. i hope these aren't my-- travis: right. you ran into our ship! marisha: --these aren't, like, my people,right? i haven't found out who they are. laura: i know! what if they are? travis: we gonna kill 'em. marisha: no! taliesin: whoa! i don't feel good about that. laura: look at that!
marisha: yay, it's a boat! travis: boats! sam: there's a boat! oh, wow, the top-down view looks sothree-dimensional right now. laura: yeah, really, it does. sam: it's really cool. laura: this is insane! this looks so 3d! travis: well done, man! sam: 1980s graphics!
matt: i can't take full credit for these.these were already premade travis: aw. taliesin: this is like the finest arcade that i'veever been by. laura: this is so cool. travis: which one's us? matt: all right. there's the two of them in theocean currently off to the side. travis: you dingalings. laura: they can fly. they can fly. oh my goodnessgracious. this is so cool. what is this? what is that?
matt: all right, so. up in the crow's nest,we have percy, one of the other shipmates, kinda up there. we have, down here at the wheel,the captain. these two, wielding two different ballistas. travis: at the bow of the ship, heading for -- laura: -- a new land! matt: we have doty, just hanging off to the side,watching and trying to take record of whatever's happening at the moment. grog, where are you? travis: wherever that grappling hook was. matt: that would be right here.
sam: (roars) matt: with trinket right by your side. travis: welcoming committee. sam: we're gonna eat it. laura: me and percy had said we were sort of onour way down. taliesin: or actually, we had sort of headedtowards the other boat. matt: right, so you guys had made your way.so, yeah. so-- taliesin: i was gonna ask you to drop me at theother crow's nest on the other ship. travis: you need more iron in my diet.
marisha: these are probably the water ashari,aren't they? matt: so you guys are heading this way? are youtaking him with you? taliesin: if you're down. laura: uh, i was going to. i wasn't going to goall the way to the other boat, but i can. if you want to go with us. taliesin: oh, please! sam: toy boat, toy boat. sam, taliesin, and laura: toy boat. taliesin and laura: toy boat.
sam: tor books. sam and taliesin: tor books, tor books. taliesin: tor books, tor books, tor books.it's actually kinda hard. sam: yeah. matt: all right. vax, where are you? since you arehiding. liam: well, i did a stealth check, and i got a25-- matt: right. liam: i didn't know what the boat looked like,so if there's stuff in the bottom, i'd hide there, but if they're gone, i could also have gone upto the crow's nest. whichever.
matt: you could probably be hiding amongst one ofthe low sails probably. so we'll say you're up in this sail. matt: in that vicinity. all righty. so. bringingus now to the initiative order. taliesin: oh, boy. matt: 25 to 20? liam: shit. matt: all righty. laura: oh, no. sam: yikes.
liam: (knocks on table) matt: 20 to 15? taliesin: 15. liam: 18. laura: eee. liam: yeah. marisha: twins. liam: wapetopetok! laura and liam: (explosion sounds)
travis: you both had 18? laura: yeah! travis: nice. matt: 15 to ten? travis: 14. matt: grog. all right. marisha: oh. 11. sorry. matt: that's all right. keyleth. and then? sam: eight.
matt: tary. laura: hey, look, some things don't change. matt: nice! taliesin: burn! sam: stings. matt: all righty. so. you watch as these figuresjust jump across from the chains that are lashed onto the boat, and as two of them make it across,suddenly, up the side of the ship, you watch as if a singular wave seems to (water rushing) andsplash onto the edge of the ship. however, as the water crests and splashes into the ground,it forms up into its own physical entity.
sam: ooh. marisha: oh shit. water elementals. matt: you've seen this form once before,that keyleth has taken-- matt: --this is a water elemental. laura: what if this is the ashari? marisha: it probably is. just haven't figured thatout yet. matt: (laughs) where did i last put it? allrighty, so. that being the case, i'm gonna go ahead and pull these up there. laura: did we say we did anything about the fog?the fog is still there.
matt: the fog is still in this vicinity right now.so, you're under the effect of a fog cloud spell... for the area. so, basically, the areaaround is heavily obscured. so that will increase uh, ac to a number of individuals. perfect.all right, so. so first off, this elemental rushes forward to grog, splashes around in yourdirection. grog, it's gonna go ahead and take a series of swings at you. travis: sweet. matt: yeah, it's gonna take two slam attacks.that is a 23 to hit? travis: hits. matt: and an 18 to hit.
travis: hits also. matt: all righty. so you suffer 12 points ofbludgeoning damage. that's full damage. you're not raging. travis: nope. matt: and that is 15. 15 points of bludgeoningdamage. travis: total? or 12 and 15 both? matt: 12 and 15. travis: gotcha. matt: all right, that ends that guy's turn.next up is vax and vex.
laura: i was on my way over to the other-- taliesin: drop off. laura: -- towards the other ship. travis: bludgeoning. taliesin: as long as you roll by, i'll just letgo. laura: okay. taliesin: you can drop me off. laura: percy wants to be dropped off at the crow'snest, so i'll fly over that direction. laura: keeping an eye out for anything visiblethat i can shoot at.
taliesin: the minute i see a rope, i'll just letgo and drop. so she can just keep moving. matt: okay. so we'll say-- laura: flyby. matt: as you guys make it onto the other side ofthe ship-- taliesin: you know, you could've spent your timemaking two very complex lego pirate ships. all week. matt: you're right. taliesin: i'm just saying. matt: but i don't have that time, unfortunately.
matt: right, so you guys, right over to this shiphere? matt: you drop him in the crow's nest. laura: uh-huh. matt: all right. and you are currently on yourbow? is that all you're gonna do? laura: i'm on-- yeah, i'm on my broom. i'm justriding my bow around. laura: can i drift down to where i can seeanything and i say to keyleth, uh, fog? can you do anything about the fog? matt: on their ship? matt: okay. so as you coast down a little lower,i want you to make a perception check.
laura: i like that one. 31. travis: jesus. matt: 31. you glance down, and as the fog parts,you see on this ship, there are three other similarly dressed, dark green and black leatherhumanoids that are now beginning to rush over the chain, and standing back, on the back of the ship,arms crossed, you see a large humanoid with a fish-like head. it has no nose, a bigfish-like mouth, big bulbous throat, kind of a greenish-blue skin color, very turquoise,with big fin gills at the side and a large crest that goes down the head. but it's wearing finebillowing silks, and a large vest, and its lower torso, from this giant oversized kind of plumpbelly, the lower torso is just this swirl of water
that sits there, and it looks like it's currentlyconcentrating through the fog on the opposite side. laura: oh, jebus. matt: it does not seem to notice you at themoment. laura: then, i'm gonna try to bramble shot thatmotherfucker. matt: it is right there. marisha: well, that's pretty cool. laura: i'm gonna try to shoot a bramble shot athim. laura: okay. 20?
matt: 20? hits. go ahead and roll damage. laura: yes. okay. oh, hunter's mark. motherfuck!that's okay, sneak attack. travis: it's all right, you've never played thisgame before. laura: why? i can't help it, i get so happy.okay. matt: let's see. actually, roll again. because inthe fog cloud you do have disadvantage on strikes. travis: oh, that's cruel, man. laura: that's cruel. travis: (laughs painfully) don't do it.
matt: one? matt: oh. that sucks. laura: that's okay. that's okay, i'm gonna try todo another shot. and in that downtime, i'm gonnafucking hunter's mark. sam: yeah! matt: there you go. sam: turn them lemons-- travis: into orange juice. matt: so this entity is currently hunter's marked,and you can
take your second attack, if you like. laura: okay. i can't do a bramble shot again'cause that was wasted? or does that mean-- does a bramble shot only work if it connects? matt: i'm gonna say for the purpose of thisbramble shot, 'cause it's only fair and it's a powerful vestige, it only works if it connects.that should change the wording on that. laura: okay. okay, i'm gonna try. laura: 19? matt: 19 does hit. laura: yes! okay. 15 plus four lightning damage.
matt: slick. laura: plus sneak attack. woo, an 11 for the sneakattack and hunter's mark. and then the dc of 17 or be restrained. that's strength save. matt: gotcha. laura: and i'm gonna do the bramble shot damagenow. matt: that is a 13. laura: hoo, yes! he's restrained. matt: go for it, roll the damage. for brambleshot. laura: ooh. is that a sev-- that's a one. 16.
matt: 16. okay. i'm gonna go ahead and make aconcentration check on him. he succeeds. with a 26. all right, so, the first shot whipspast and just slams into the ship. you watch as this giant fish entity kinda glances off to theside, looks down and starts looking up into the fog cloud, but you're right above it at thispoint, or just off to the side, and you fire your second arrow, it turns just in time to see it hitit in the shoulder, as it glances up, tries to snap it free. the wooden shaft of the arrowsuddenly sprouts all these vines and thorns that begin to wrap around it and it tears in its body,and it's currently stuck in place. it cannotmove. laura: awesome. and i say, percy, spellcaster,right below you. fish guy.
taliesin: (exhales) got it. not sure what to do. sam: noted. matt: all right. so, ending that, we come to vax'sturn. liam: one of the assailants is directly acrossfrom me, on the other side of our boat, right? matt: there is one crossing right now. liam: but there is one guy who made it onto theboat? matt: there's two of them who made onto the boat,right there. liam: right there? i'm gonna attempt toassassinate that motherfucker.
laura: oh, god! matt: so you're-- we'll say you're up over,you kind of shimmy your way along the edge of the sail, and you're looking right down below him. matt: this guy right there. liam: so, advantage on this. matt: the guy closest to grog, or the guy who'salone right there? liam: the one that you are touching right now. matt: okay, gotcha. liam: yeah. so that is a 32 to hit.
matt: that will hit. liam: so this is assassinate, it's an auto-crit-- matt: did you roll at disadvantage because of thefog cloud? liam: well, no, but i'm at advantage because ofassassinate, so the first roll was a 19. matt: yeah, so you're fine. liam: which is still a 32. here we go. laura: i get 2d6 now for sneak attack. matt: you do. so roll another d6. laura: another six!
taliesin: hey, that die! matt: that's 48 points of damage in one hit. laura: bramble shot, motherfucker! liam: doing my maths over here. 32, 36, 72.that's 80 points of damage. matt: 80 points of damage. travis: what the fuck? no wonder tary almostdied. liam: is he still standing? matt: no. travis: assassinate!
matt: just leaps off the chain and pulls out whatlooks like-- for this, it would be a dagger and a rapier. glances around and goes lunging in for thecaptain of the ship. gets maybe two steps, before your blade sinks into the back of theneck. and he just hits the side, and collapses, right at the edge of the ship right there. done. liam: okay, just for funsies i will throw mysecond dagger at the one right in front of trink. liam: so, that is not that good. laura: ooh. liam: that's a 13. matt: okay, yeah. even with disadvantage. okay.so this one you fire, and just disappears off to
the side of the ship, but returns to your belt.are you gonna stay where you are? liam: no, i'm gonna drop down. liam: and circle around trinket's tush. matt: all right. make an acrobatics check. liam: sure. matt: just to land from the top there. liam: yeah, 25. matt: yeah, you're fine. so you move around behindtrinket. all righty. â that ends your turn, vax. percy, you're up.
taliesin: okay, i'm gonna take a quick look aroundto see if i can figure out what's causing this fog because it's annoying me. matt: perception check. taliesin: that's a 19. matt: glancing about in the area, it's hard tosee, especially from this vantage point. the area is so heavily obscured with fog.you do glance and see what looks to be a very, very faint general glow in a lower area towardsthe edge of the ship. but that's all you can make out. taliesin: starboard? port?
matt: it'd be on this side. taliesin: all right. somebody take a look at anything. there's a glowcoming from the starboard side of the enemy ship. it's the one closest to our ship. we need to findout what's causing this fog. in the meantime, i'm gonna slowly make my way down a couple of theropes. is that an enemy right there? that guy? matt: you're up here. taliesin: yeah, i know. i'm asking if that's anenemy on our ship, right there. matt: this is an enemy right there. marisha: the water elemental.
matt: these are enemies. these are your guys,the guys with the red cloaks; the red color signifies your own crewmates. taliesin: okay, so we have two enemies that arecurrently on their ship. matt: two enemies in their ship, one that'scurrently crossing, and one that is on the other side. taliesin: okay, i'm gonna slowly start making myway, just maybe a few feet down, and i'm going to shoot those two people who are on the very edge.both of them in the back. sam: there's no honor in that. taliesin: no. there is, on the other hand,fine comedy about to happen.
sam: true, true. taliesin: i'm gonna very, very carefully.and i'm at disadvantage with this? matt: disadvantage with each strike, yes. taliesin: oh, that's annoying. okay, i'm gonna usethe pepperbox, the animus, and i'm also going to burn a grit for a push. matt: for which one of these guys? taliesin: what about one on each? matt: one of these two? taliesin: both of them. i'll start with the firstone, and work my way down.
matt: okay. first one there. taliesin: all right, so, let's see what happens. marisha: big money, no whammies! taliesin: that will do. that's a 28? matt: 28 will hit. taliesin: and that's-- i'm sorry, you know why i'ma little confused, i just had to switch, again. that's, wow-- marisha: that's good. taliesin: -- that's good. that's 17 points ofdamage and five points of psychic damage.
taliesin: and he goes ten feet away from me. travis: ah. laura: oh! marisha: (yelps) taliesin: (laughs) matt: as he's trying to step across the chain-- liam: wilhelm scream. matt: (gunshot) marisha: (wilhelm screams)
matt: he gets blasted. and (wilhelm scream) justplunges off the side of the chain, loses his footing, tumbles over, and vanishes into the fog.and you hear this splash, a moment later. taliesin: next! i love boats. matt: so this guy? disadvantage on this shot. taliesin: yep. here we go. that's, oh that's good,29. i'm rolling really well. matt: yeah, that will hit. taliesin: not as well as yesterday, but reallywell. marisha: (singing) i got a nautical themed,pashmina afghan. taliesin: and that's five, six: that's 11 pointsof damage and five points of psychic damage,
and a ten-foot push. matt: all righty. okay. he also (snapping sound)falls off, grabs the chain, catches it with his finger, but because of the sea spray and the fog,it's too slick and (slipping sound, wilhelm scream) just falls. taliesin: i was just gonna say, he's happy tograb, and i'll deal with that too. matt: yeah. but they both have fallen off theship. marisha: that's what she said? no. taliesin: i can make him drop things. i have thatpower. marisha: oh. my god. drop the chain they'reholding on to?
taliesin: i've been wanting to watch somebodyholding on and make them drop it. i've been wanting to do that for like, probably a year and ahalf now. god, is there anybody fun on our side? laura: the fish guy. taliesin: you've got him grappled. matt: you've one guy walking across, right now,on the chain, and the guy below you who is grappled, and the water elemental that's also attackingyou. travis: yeah, don't you get advantage on grappledguy? taliesin: technically i would. that would cancelout, wouldn't it?
matt: he is restrained, which means attacks on himare with advantage, so it would cancel it out. taliesin: it would cancel it out automatically.oh. in that case, i'm gonna take a shot on him. laura: and it'll probably get a chance to beunrestrained as soon as it's his turn. taliesin: okay, good point. so, i'm gonna take asharpshooter shot. i'm also going to-- is he holding anything? matt: not that you can see. taliesin: that's good. and he's a magic? yeah,that will do. i'll just take a good old-fashioned sharpshooter shot. so that's-- that's not as good.that's 18 to hit? matt: 18 to hit? just barely hits.
taliesin: oh, thank god. okay. liam: i hope these aren't your cousins. marisha: they might be. taliesin: well. they were a little-- travis: nobody's tried talking yet? marisha: we'll figure that out. laura: we're kind of being ambushed. so... taliesin: that's kind of heavy. that's gonna be 24points of damage, and three points of psychic damage.
laura: i don't think your cousins are fishpeople. marisha: my cousins might be fish men. liam: they could be werefish or... marisha: they could be anybody. they could bewerefish. matt: gotcha. okay, so you managed to fire(gunshot) the third shot out from animus. you see it blasts into the upper shoulder andback portion of this fish-like creature. (growls) it does not look terribly happy.but it is currently still bound by the various thorny vines that have wrapped around it.end your turn? taliesin: yeah, and i'm just gonna crawl a couplefeet into the ropes in that direction.
taliesin: i'm just gonna keep rope-swinging.there we are. matt: there you go. all righty, that brings us togrog. travis: after getting hit by the water elemental,can i go, hey! what do you want? matt: the water elemental just (gurgling growls). travis: fuck it. you got saltwater in my eyes; iwould like to rage! travis: i go into a rage. marisha: it's not me, grog. it's not me. travis: oh, i hadn't thought about that. travis: and i beat the shit out of it with thedwarven hammer. two hits.
matt: go for it. two strikes. travis: are these at disadvantage? or i'm right upthere? matt: no, you're melee, you're fine. travis: hey! reckless attack. laura: oh, my. liam: hells yeah. travis: 23. matt: that hits. travis: nice. 17.
matt: 17 damage. okay. now your last strike? travis: god, those are balls! they're not literalballs. 22. laura: nice! travis: 24. 24 points of damage. matt: 24 points of damage? okay, nice. so youstart bludgeoning its watery form. even though you see the water splashing around, and it's soakingeverything in the vicinity, you are still watching as each blow forces the creature to kinda shiftand move, and you hear this (gurgling sound) kind of dull thud sound, and a pained noise seems toemit from this elemental creature with each impact.
travis: you can do better than that. matt: does that end your turn? matt: all righty. that brings us to the rest ofthe crew. so these guys-- the water has now pushed them past a bit. they are moved and they'restarting to try and swim their way to the edge of the ship, and they're starting to actually-- let'ssee what their rolls are for their athletics. natural 20, nice. okay, so they both make theirway up to the side of this side of the ship and latch onto the edge, right beside keyleth andtaryon. sam: oh, great. marisha: can i say something to him?
matt: yeah, as both (grunts) get out of the water,they're pulling up right alongside you, pulling blades out. marisha: hi! kaitiyaki. water ashari? matt: you hear them just growl as they pull theirblades out, and continue. marisha: hm. hm. liam: kick his ass. travis: yeah, we tried to talk. matt: so for this one, each of them are gonna maketwo strikes against each of you with their rapiers.
matt: taryon, that is a 21? matt: and a 21. matt: i rolled the same number twice in a row.so you take-- travis: what's your ac there, big guy? sam: 15. matt: nine points of piercing damage and fivepoints of piercing damage. sam: sure. matt: as it just thrust-- sam: ow!
matt: -- holding onto the side of the ship'sarmor, thrusting the rapier into you, scraping past your armor. one catches you in the hip. sam: ugh. travis: ooh. matt: keyleth, the other one's gonna make twostrikes against you. that's gonna be-- marisha: cousins? matt: an eight? marisha: no? oh. nope, that misses. matt: and a 27.
matt: and that's gonna hit you for ten points ofpiercing damage. marisha: okay. that's-- yeah. matt: and it looks like their ascent has stoppedand they're just right now happy to just continue to pierce these two stowaways that are grippingonto the side of the ship. this one stumbles across the rest of the chain. and turning andseeing you guys there on the edge, vax as you dart around the side of trinket, it's gonna move,avoid the bear, step across, and attempt to attack you twice with the rapier, once with thedagger. marisha: jeez louise. matt: so the dagger's gonna be 11?
liam: no. matt: not very good. liam: that's a no. matt: however, that is a 26. liam: that hits. uncanny dodge. matt: and a 19. matt: no. all right, so, they get one rapierstrike towards you. that is going to be nine points of piercing damage. liam: halved.
matt: as it just cuts across the center of yourarmor in the midsection. it doesn't actually get the skin, but it's enough of an impact where youcan feel a bruise coming. liam: tight. matt: all righty. ending their turn, that bringsus to keyleth. marisha: okay. am i still on the side of the boat? matt: you are, yes. marisha: i'm gonna climb up that boat. matt: okay, make an athletics check. marisha: ooh, that's good, 17 plus my athletics,which is good, which is seven, so 24.
matt: okay, so you get up on the edge of the ship,it does get one attack of opportunity against you as you move up. it's gonna slice at you with arapier. that is gonna be an 18. marisha: miss. sam: whoa. matt: nice. marisha: no. hit. sorry. matt: okay, there you go, that's all good. that is ten points piercing damage. matt: as the rapier just catches you in the back,and you're like (groans), and you climb up and
get back onto the edge of the ship. as you glancearound, you can see that there is the weird fish-looking guy in the center of the ship right now.it's currently bound by the vines around him. marisha: any sign that these could still be mypeople? pretty certain they're not. travis: i think you can let that go now. matt: you're pretty sure there's not much of atribal sign-- marisha: nothing? matt: -- that resembles anything ashari-relateduniversally. marisha: guys, real pirates! and then i'm going to do control water. and i'mgoing to raise water 20 feet around me, and start
sinking this bitch. i want to sink this ship.20 feet, just tidal waves coming over the boat,and i'm sinking it. travis: oh, shit. matt: control water, what level is this? marisha: fourth level. laura: we could steal this ship. okay. taliesin: it might have stuff. marisha: nope. i'm sinking it. matt: okay, as you get on the edge you begin topull your arms up, and as you do, you hands begin
to glow with a dull blue-turquoise color,similar to the skin of this fish-like creature, and it glances over at you, and its jaw opens.you can see this burbling sound as the edges of the water begin to rise up and splash and pourinto the ship, perpetually filling the lower, usually air-filled section of this ship.and it begins to immediately (thud) list a little bit to one side. marisha: do i have any movement, or is that it?probably getting up is my movement. matt: that's gonna be your action, and climbing upis gonna be your movement. so that's kinda where you are. marisha: okay. cool.
matt: you can maintain concentration on it. taliesin: we're gonna want to break the chains. marisha: i maintain concentration. matt: you get the sense, it's gonna take a fewrounds, but if you keep at this, you'll probably have a â good chance of achieving your goal. marisha: cool. it's what i like to hear in life,in general. laura: you might bring our ship down with it,keyleth. travis: if you keep at it, you might be able toachieve your goal. marisha: no, it's localized.
laura: no, but, the chains attaching two ships. marisha: eh. we've got time. taliesin: that's the correct response. liam: she says as she destroys everything. travis: yep, yeah, yep. marisha: destroy reality? matt: ending keyleth's turn, it is now the crew'sgo. so the crew here is gonna turn the ballistas around, as the captain leaps off down and goesbehind the guy who attacked you, vax. she pulls out a scimitar, rushes forward screaming,"yah!"
and just does a full downward arc into the back. liam: adele dazeem, ladies and gentlemen. laura: like xena. (war cry) marisha: adele dazeem. laura: what does xena do? (xena fighting call) matt: that is 18. that hits. travis: that's it. liam: yeah, that's it. matt: second strike is a 23. both hit.
liam: she also breaks hearts. laura: left and right. liam: left and right. taliesin: oh, man. liam: you can relate. travis: disappointed! matt: that's better. 24 points of slashing damage.that ends her turn. these two guys are gonna fire ballistas at the ship. (firing sound, splash) travis: yes! yes!
matt: one of them unfortunately just coasts off tothe edge and misses the ship. travis: damn it! he's fired. matt: the other one is a natural 20. travis: boom! laura: damn! matt: oof, that's gonna be nasty. that, yeah,okay. travis: wow. matt: that is 42 points of damage-- travis: damn. from one of the ballistas?
matt: -- to the side of the ship. you watch as oneof these ballistas has a similar-looking, like, giant iron arrow, but it's designed to just splitand destroy wood on impact. it's pierced, but it seems to splinter out, so it hits,and then breaks as it goes. matt: and as it slams into the side of this ship,just above where taryon and the other guy are. you watch as it (crashing sound) slams andwood splinters and breaks. the impact shakes the side. i'm actually gonna ask both you and that guyto make a strength saving throw. travis: come on, buddy. sam: that's sorta cocked, but that's okay,i'll take it. that's a five. matt: okay, both of you guys--
sam: maybe i'll use luck, and go again. matt: okay, go for it. sam: ooh, yeah. yeah, that's ten. matt: okay, that's two. that's enough to hold on.the other guy did not make it. so you just hold on from the impact, the other guy (screams) fallsback and splashes into-- sam: you should've worn boat shoes! matt: perfect. laura: i like to picture you in full armor withboat shoes on. marisha: boat shoes on!
matt: as you hold on, you watch as the ballista,which has a chain attached to the back of it as well, is now being ratcheted back. and as it slamsthrough and is pulled back, it's tearing sections of the ship apart. and you can watch now,as it's pulling down and breaking a whole section. sam: jesus. matt: that's gonna go ahead and end thiscrewman's turn. this guy is gonna go ahead-- crossbow and try to line it up, towards-- i canonly see the guy below, with disadvantage. oh, it's a shame, it's a natural 20. and a 19,actually. still manages to hit, even with the disadvantage from the fog cloud. okay, that'seight damage to that guy. all righty. and then
this guy over here is gonna move to the waterelemental and take a strike on it and misses. (whoosh) it goes and strikes, but the waterelemental shifts out of the way, the blade moves past, without an impact. end of the round,we have taryon. marisha: taryon! sam: yeah! so, the guy right next to me is gone,right? matt: yeah, he's splashed back. both of these guysare in the water, back ten feet. sam: oh, they're gone. okay. sam: okay, can i see? no. i'm gonna climb up. matt: okay, athletics check.
sam: okay. travis: watch this go bad. sam: no, no. it's okay. 16? matt: yeah, that could climb up and get onto theedge of the ship, right next to keyleth, who's currently concentrating. you see her eyeskinda glowing, and her hands glowing with this faint aqua-look as the water is now,â immediatelyto the right of her, curling up and splashing over the bow of the ship, and just pouring into theship below. sam: so cool. so cool. okay, i just yell back todoty, get rid of the grappling hooks! i don't know, i have no idea what i'm doing.
sam: and then i see that the giant thing in frontof me, right? do i see the thing? matt: you do see it, yeah. it's currently bound bythe series of thorny vines. sam: great. i'll reach into my magic bag,and pull out a vial of acid and just throw it at the thing. matt: okay. go ahead and roll an attack.it is restrained, so you have advantage on theranged attack roll. sam: what do i add? matt: add your-- it should say under the class. sam: my spell attack bonus?
matt: it should say under the class's ability. sam: it says-- matt: what's your bonus next to it on your sheet?under your attacks. sam: oh! oh, it says-- matt: it should be there. sam: no, it doesn't. matt: doesn't? ah, damn it. sam: oh, wait, no, it says it. but it's cut off.it says, "dc one". i'm sure there's something after that, but are you talking about just to hitit?
matt: right. it's their saving throw. it's yourspell dc to get past it; i think is what it is. it's not an actual ranged-- sam: okay, so then it's 17. matt: 17? okay, good to know. which, he hasdisadvantage on it, which he rolled a one in the first one, so no. matt: so go ahead and roll full damage. sam: great, so that's 7d6. marisha: led six! laura: they're really pretty.
taliesin: they're really fun. yeah, i like it.i know. marisha: led. six. sam: 26. matt: 26 points of acid damage. laura: nice. taliesin: that's good. travis: does he let out a fishy scream? matt: you watch as you lob your vial, it(shattering sound) burst across the creature's chest--
taliesin: (gurgling) matt: --and the acid (burning sound) begins toburn, burning part of the vines that currentlykeep it restrained, but-- sam: oh, shit! sorry, sorry! i don't know how thisstuff works! matt: but it does burn. you see it (gurglinggrunts) trying desperately to break free, as you see the smoke of its burning flesh riseup off its body (sizzling sound). matt: end your turn, taryon? sam: i have a bonus action. i'll use sanctuary.on myself. matt: okay. there you go. and with that,doty's gonna go ahead and reach down and try and
grab-- nope. not with a four. as you see, (creaking noise) you hear themetal kind of creaking, but not getting any sort of actual-- marisha: aw. taliesin: knees, not back. matt: i know. travis: lift with your knees. taliesin: god, robot! matt: all right, ending that round, that brings usto the top. the rushing waters: the ships continue
to move forward; both of these guys shiftbackward. liam: bye! matt: they're being left behind by the boats. taliesin: good! matt: they're trying to swim forward. that bringsus to marid. okay. taliesin: i've been waiting for this so for prettymuch a few months. matt: so this guy is currently up in the side.and he's looking around, he's gonna make a quick perception check, just to look around. he got shotby you. he got shot by you. he's gonna go ahead and glance up in your direction. he's gonna goahead and use a water jet ability against you.
matt: actually, let's see here-- travis: water jet. laura: (explosion sound) matt: you know what, now? no, he's not. travis: he's not? matt: he is, but he's gonna use a water jet-- laura: is he not grappled anymore? matt: he's still grappled. he's restrained,but he can still do abilities. taliesin: we're fine.
matt: 60, fine. yeah, you're up there, but it seesthe cluster in that direction. that's his own guy. he won't do that. travis: he wouldn't? laura: ooh, honorable. matt: hold on, i'm trying to see what's the mostuseful-- sam: maybe they're family. laura: maybe they are. matt: he can't move. he can't angle it. it'sreally frustrating for him. liam: for him, right? for him? it's frustratingfor him.
matt: yeah, for him. travis: it really frustrates him. matt: and for that, he's gonna aim for trinket andvax. laura: what is he doing, what? matt: aiming for trinket and vax. matt: so, all of a sudden, it turns its head thisway, opens its mouth (hoarse gasp) and you watch as this small spiral of â greenish energy begins toswirl. and a singular burst of extremely accelerated water just (hard impact sound) firesthrough the fog out of sight. you hear this (whoosh) sound, and you turn just in time to watchas it blasts towards both you and trinket.
i need you to make a dexterity saving throw,and trinket as well. liam: vax or vex? matt: vax. liam: vax. yeah, you're fine. laura: yeah, i'm fine. liam: oh, you're doing trinket, right. laura: whoa! trinket rolled so good! liam: 17. matt: 17?
laura: hold on, hold on, holda. sam: hoda, hoda, hoda, hoda. laura: hoda, hoda, hoda, hoda. 20! matt: all righty. so trinket manages to (whoosh)duck down, taking half the damage. laura: he was very zen about that duck down. travis: (trinket groans) laura: matrix style, he's diving in. no. matt: so 15 points of bludgeoning damage totrinket. 30 to you, vax. liam: but halved, 'cause if i fail, it's halved.if i succeed, it's zero.
it's a dexterity so it's evasion. matt: yeah. evasion-- liam: evasion is for dex saves. if i fail,i take half damage, and if i succeed i take no damage. sam: ooh! that's sexy. liam: it's how i survive dragon fights. matt: yes, yes. travis: (singing) how i survive dragon fights. sam: guys, we're having a water battle.
laura: you guys! taliesin: i've been waiting for this for so long. laura: well, we're having a pirate battle. travis: super soaker! sam/taliesin: super soakers! travis: super soaker 250, super soaker 500,super soaker 1000. you remember those? sam: yeah. i didn't know they had gauges. taliesin: oh, yeah. matt: so you take 15 points of bludgeoning damage.however,
you are pushed 20 feet away and knocked prone. sam: ooh. ooh. sam: off the ship? matt: (whoosh) off the edge of the ship. sam: oh! no! laura: (gasps) bro! matt: he (splash) into the water below. (splash)it's with such force, that you aren't even given a chance to grab at the ship. you're thrust off atan arc. liam: mm-hm.
matt: and (splash) into the water. (splash) intothe ocean-- laura: gosh, thank god trinket ducked. matt: -- soaking you down into the wave.the elemental creature swirls up and occupies both the space of grog and trinket, and is goingto go ahead and turn it into a whelm. so it's going to uh, attempt to whelm both of you,and i need you and trinket to make strength saving throws. travis: strength saving throws. i have advantagebecause i'm raging. 26. matt: all righty. you guys, both pushed out of itsspace. so it forces you out. however, you both manage to escape any sort of damage as its giantspiral, this whirlwind of water spins around and
you both barely force your way out of it before itcan do any serious damage to you. laura: bearly. matt: all right, that leads us to vax's turn. liam: okay, so in the water, click the boots,and the wings shoot-out, and i explode up, out of the water into the air. sam: wow, so cool. liam: and i just start gunning it towards the guywho knocked me in, right? liam: and when i'm about, i don't know, 30 feetaway from him, i'm gonna-- because i'm hasted i get 120 feet of movement just for regularmovement.
liam: and when i'm within 40 feet, i'm gonna throwwhisper at the guy. matt: okay, that will put you about there. liam: yep. travis: hit him. hit him! liam: that's 26? matt: 26? all righty, that hits. liam: and i'm gonna bamf right up to him as ihit. matt: (poof) liam: that is just a little ten, plus-- 15.
matt: 15 points of damage with that strike. okay. liam: and i should have one more. so i used bonusaction for the wings, i did movement, i did action, so i've got one more action. matt: your offhand attack, yeah. liam: yeah. so i will shank him again. travis: shank shank! laura: shank shank! sam: is that a new thing? shank shank? matt: you have advantage on these strikes now.
because you're right up against him, and he isrestrained. liam: 20. matt: 20 hits. and you do get your sneak attack,because of your advantage on him. travis: no more dagger dagger dagger. sam: just shank shank? laura: it's just two. it's shank shank. liam: that is just a nine! and i'll unload somepoison into him as well. the dc is 15. marisha: i feel like 'shank shank' is lessattractive on a t-shirt. matt: that is a nine. he does not succeed!
liam: okay, so he takes 2d10. do i roll that,or do you, matty? matt: you roll that. liam: all right. matt: so what's the damage initially? liam: it's nine. plus 13 poison damage. matt: okay, so 22. are you gonna roll sneak attackdamage? liam: why would i get that here? is he up againstanybody? matt: no, you have advantage on him because he isrestrained. liam: oh, advantage, yay, i love you.
matt: and he is not immune to poison. liam: 20 sneak attack damage. thanks, matt. matt: how much is that total? liam: 20 for the sneak attack. matt: 20 for the sneak attack. 20 plus 22. laura: you're attacking the guy? matt: we'll see if he maintains concentration. laura: how'd you get all the way over there? matt: he does not. so. let me double-check onething real fast, here,
because this will be interesting. liam: shank-shank-shank. shank-shank-shank. liam/taliesin/laura/marisha: (singing) shank yourbooty. shank your booty. matt: okay, got you. so he loses concentration.he is now poisoned and restrained. he has to make a saving throw, actually, to see-- which he didnot. so yeah, still restrained. matt: whoof. that sucks. okay, that ends vax'sturn. vex, you're up. laura: awesome. liam: get him! laura: cool, then since he's got my brother nextto him, i'm gonna fly down so i can see him
better, and shoot him two times with my blazingbowstring on the first one. liam: she shouts as she flies through the air. laura: blazing bowstring! activate! marisha: (electric guitar sounds) laura: do i still get disadvantage? matt: you do, the fog is still present. laura: okay. 28. matt: 28 hits. second attack? laura: second attack is just-- can i do regular?
matt: yes, that's fine. matt: hits. go ahead and roll damage for both. laura: 12 with three points of lightning damage. travis: did you add your hunter's mark? laura: i'm about to. 13 additional. and then tenwith the blazing bowstring-- nine more with the blazing bowstring. matt: nice, all right. laura: and then my second attack-- matt: correct.
laura: 11 plus three lightning. laura: i don't get sneak attack again, but i doget hunter's mark. matt: you do get hunter's mark, yes. laura: and three more for hunter's mark. matt: nice. so, after he's stabbed in the side,and the poison pulses through his system, turns around, and as the arrow slams into him,burst of flame and lightning arcs through his body. laura: and i'm gonna fly back a little so he cansee me less. and then i'm going to have trinket, for my bonus action--
marisha: (gasps) laura: -- run forward and attack the guy on theedge of the ship. liam: is it a leap year? marisha: this hasn't happened in like 20 games. laura: i know, i know. marisha: oh my god. matt: is trinket doing just a regularattack? laura: yeah, because it's my bonus, so he can justdo one attack. matt: because if you wanted to, instead of goingfor a damaging attack, you can go for a shove.
laura: oh, i could? i didn't think i was allowedto do that. matt: yeah, you can do it, you can sacrifice anattack for a shove strike. it doesn't do damage. laura: i want him to do that. that's what i wantedhim to do. matt: i was wondering if that's what you weregoing for. okay, so go ahead and roll an athleticscheck for trinket. laura: athletics... is that strength? that's justfive. matt: five? okay, yeah, so trinket goes up andslams into the guy, and he gets pushed against the side of the ship, but not with enough force toshove him over the edge, and he (grunt) catches himself.
laura: so trinket just stands up, he's got hispaws on his chest. matt: just pressing (growls) on there, yeah. laura: growls loudly into his face. liam: (growls) matt: all right, that ends your turn. percy,you're up. laura: i mean, that's scary, a big bear.especially if these guys are on the sea. they don't see bears very often. taliesin: all right. that guy's still in thevines, right? matt: correct, yes.
taliesin: he's becoming a problem, though.okay, i'm going to, if i can pull this off, is it possible that i can break the rope that i'mcurrently holding onto and do a little errol flynn like fly down to the bottom of the boat? matt: you can do that, yeah. taliesin: is it possible that the rope i have toshoot is in between me and him? matt: uh... sure. marisha: you going to kill two birds with onestone? taliesin: i'm going to use a piercing shot,and i'm going to try to do both with one shot and errol flynn this shit.
travis: oh shit! oh shit! matt: okay. make an acrobatics check as part ofthis. marisha: errol flynn this shit, is that what yousaid? matt: this is specifically the kind of shitacrobatics is for. travis: totally. 100%. swashbuckling. taliesin: acrobatics... that's a 23. matt: yeah, go ahead and take it-- still atdisadvantage. taliesin: still at disadvantage. matt: because of the fog.
marisha: oh man, now you're in an angelina joliemovie. taliesin: nope. matt: nope? taliesin: so this is gonna be funny, because i wasusing the animus. taliesin: so depending on how mean you wanna behere, i'm gonna take my 2d6. matt: oh, you misfire? matt: (laughs) taliesin: so this is gonna be funny. i'm gonnatake my 2d6, and that's six points of psychic damage to me, that's cool, that's cool.
marisha: what if one day you died because ofthat? matt: okay, so you use your piercing shot to shootboth at him and to shoot the-- or to shoot the rope and then swing down? taliesin: yes. so does the psychic damage mean ilet go of the rope i'm holding on to? or does it not? also, my feet are sticky and my hand has-- matt: your feet are sticky, but your hands arenot. taliesin: but my hands are not. matt: it's the blast of psychic energy. you knowwhat? i'll say go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.
taliesin: okay, i'm down for this. matt: yes, make a wisdom saving throw to see ifyou can withstand the blast to your brain as your vision goes white. taliesin: so that's an eight. liam: goes in the drink. matt: nope. taliesin: here's the next question: do i have anychance of grabbing anything with my hands and feet on the way down? matt: unfortunately, no. what happens is,as you grab the rope and you fire-- as you slash
the rope and go to swing down, you go to fire,and as you do, it backs up, and your vision just goes white and you feel your whole body goinstantaneously numb. you're not sure if you're even holding the rope anymore. all of your-- taliesin: so i'm just gonna wake up on the deck ofthe floor of the boat. matt: -- and the pain sears in your brain,you hear the (heartbeat) the pulse of pain through, and as your vision comes to, itclarifies, and color comes back just in time for you to see the surface of the ship rocketingtowards your face. (impact sound) and you slam into the ground, straight across, landing prone atthe base of the ground in front of the fish creature.
laura: oh, no! travis: it was so cool! laura: that one was seriously bad. sam: can i yell out, no! new best friend! matt: you can. you take 12 points of bludgeoningdamage from the fall. taliesin: 12 points of bludgeoning damage.and can i burn a bonus action, am i okay, or-- matt: you could use-- i mean, that was youraction, you land, yeah. you're still prone, but you can still use the rest of your attacks ifyou want. marisha: i'm sorry, your best friend?
taliesin: i can use the rest of my actions? matt: i mean, that was an attack. the piercingshot. so you still have your two other attacks, if you wanted to use them. taliesin: just because it hurts and i'm irritated,i'm just gonna pull out retort and fire in the general direction. matt: okay, so two more strikes, both atdisadvantage. sam: (gunshot sounds) taliesin: oh, that's not bad. marisha: what the fuck?
taliesin: 28? matt: 28 hits. marisha: that's not as good. taliesin: 16. matt: 16 does not hit. taliesin: okay, so the 28 one does, though.that's seven points of damage. matt: seven points of damage. got it. okay.so as you roll over on your back and pull out retort and just fire two shots, one just goes offinto the fog. you see it tear through the ship mast for a second, some wood splinters, the otherone, you hear the creature take the impact from
the blow. you're not even really paying attentionwhere it's going, you're just hearing the sound and shooting in that direction. all right,that'll end your turn, percy? taliesin: what a turn. what a terrible way to go. matt: grog, you're up. travis: i wanna keep hitting the water elemental. matt: all right. so, you turn towards it overthere. go for it. travis: reckless attacks, please. travis: first one's a 30. matt: that'll hit.
travis: 21 points of damage. travis: second attack. it's very methodical. 26. travis: does that hit? travis: and 17 points of damage. matt: 17 points of damage, all right. so you rushin and slam twice in this elemental again. you see its form with each hit is justsplattering water against the ground, and where once it came up as this solid force of water,it's starting to have difficulty keeping its form together. where once it was focused genuinely onyou and trinket, it seems to be lashing out now in a frenzied state, it's just punching all around.does that finish your turn?
travis: am i not good enough to hold yourattention? yeah, that finishes my turn. matt: okay. got you. all right. this guy here'sgonna squeeze past the side. laura: trinket attacks him on the way over. matt: he hasn't moved away from trinket yet. laura: damn it. matt: actually, no, he's gonna squeeze this wayinstead because grog's on that side. he's gonna go ahead and move past the bear and let trinket pushhis weight into the side of the ship, and is going to go ahead and take three strikes at you, grog. travis: yay!
matt: with advantage. travis: another play-friend. matt: that's gonna be two strikes against you andone against trinket. first one with advantage is gonna be a 24. travis: hits! matt: dagger is gonna be a 15. travis: misses. with advantage too? matt: yeah, his first attack roll was a one.all right, so you take ten points of piercing damage, reduced to five.
travis: okay. matt: and then the other rapier attack's gonna goagainst trinket. which is a natural one. jesus. matt: so he just swings and trinket catches theblade in his teeth, and he draws the rapier back, which is now covered in bear slobber. travis: this is not the time to choke, buddy. matt: that ends his turn. this guy here is gonnago ahead and turn to face off with captain adella. he's gonna make three strikes against her. marisha: c'mon, adele dazeem. matt: that's gonna hit. first rapier strike,second rapier strike, and the dagger,
all three hit, unfortunately. laura: we're all such dicks. travis: you guys are awful. marisha: we've got these shitty nicknames foreveryone. matt: 14, and, okay. total of 21 points of damageon her. travis: 21 points. matt: so as she tries to parry to the side,the pirate just catches her off-guard and gets three good hits in, but adella parries off to theside, gets pushed back a bit, and then forces her way forward, preparing her counter-attack.
travis: come on! matt: that brings us to-- travis: we should probably protect the captain. matt: -- keyleth. marisha: oh, shit. we're still attached to thisboat, right? sam: multiple times. matt: currently, yes. if you're stillconcentrating on this, the water's still pouring into it. marisha: i am. how much slack do we have before istart pulling our boat underwater, because i don't
want to be that-- kinda thought someone wouldstart-- matt: it depends, right now it'll be probably tworounds before it begins to genuinely start sinking heavily. depending on if the ballista get anothershot at the side or not. marisha: i wanna keep doing this. can iconcentrate my flooding of water so-- there's now a hole in the side of the ship, under where tarywas, right? i had to think not to say scanlan. marisha: i wanna flood in more water. can i floodit more on this side, to where i try and-- or can i do something fancy, like a giant hand of thegods from the wave come up and-- taliesin: kind of like fantasia? marisha: -- take the fish-head guy?
travis: what the shit? marisha: or can i at least try and flood that sideto where i can try and toss him over? matt: you can either choose to continue to floodthe ship, or use control water to attack the fish character. one or the other. travis: don't look at us, man. marisha: let me see if i can control water andtake a wave to toss him overboard. matt: toss him overboard? laura: he's a fish! that'll help him. marisha: he is a fish.
matt: he is very plainly a fish-based creature. marisha: he is very definitely a fish. matt: the lower half of his body is a swirl ofwater. marisha: oh, right. travis: so put him in the water. laura: i don't think putting him in the water'sgonna help us very much. travis: water and water makes-- marisha: you know, i'll just keep sinking thisship. marisha: i'm gonna keep concentrating.
laura: you could get rid of the fog. marisha: i can't do that right now. matt: the torrent of water continues to shove downinto the ship. you've redirected it. as it's pouring into the side, you use your other hand topick up another portion of water and start spraying it into the wound that was left rightabove, taryon, you're getting sprayed by water overhead as it's just traveling over you like anepcot center water fountain. marisha: you're good, right, tary? sam: yes? marisha: all right.
sam: this is so weird! marisha: good! this is like a tuesday for us. matt: all right, so the crew on this side,this guy's gonna go ahead and move up higher up there and take a swing. misses, unfortunately.this guy's gonna take another crossbow shot down at the one that's attacking the captain.that will hit, actually. travis: yes! get him! laura: get him! matt: all righty. and then these two guys aregonna take two more ballista shots as they load up, pull it back. this guy continues-- actually,this guy doesn't get a shot, because he spent
the last round winching and pulling it back,so he gets one shot retracting. this guy managed to pull it back and take a secondary shot at theship. that hits. it's not a critical, but it's still pretty decent. that is 14 points of damageon the side of the ship. this one slams into it maybe about five feet to the left. keyleth,actually all of you who are on the ship, you feel the impact as the second blow hits,and it pulls out the side, this time much lower, and water is now really pushing, the ship isslowly starting to capsize to one side. that ends that group's turn. sam: i've read about this. many of us will die. matt: tary, it's your turn.
sam: my turn? sam: okay. is there water all over the deck,is it hard to move, is it okay? matt: i mean, it's wet, and the deck is currentlylisting to one side. laura: is it listing towards keyleth and-- matt: it's listing this way. travis: boat shoes! sam: yeah, those are like impervious to water. sam: okay. once again, i'll yell back at doty andjust say, ahh! the thing with the grappling hooks again!
matt: doty actually does succeed this turn. matt: doty lifts it out, and now that it'sstarting to pull, the chains are very taut, as this ship lists, the ship's being pulled alittle ways towards it, the chains are strained, so as soon as doty pulls it up, it just goesfiring off the side and plunges off the water to the other side. the ship's now beginning to slowlyturn this way as the other chain is now tugging it from that direction, and this is now listing tothat side. so, what are you doing, tary? sam: yeah, i'm going to cast haste as my action.and i get a second action, now, because i'm hasted, right? matt: you get to use a second action that's amelee attack.
sam: it has to be a melee attack? matt: melee attack, disengage, hide... sam: can i use-- it said i could use a magicitem. sam: or use an item, use an item. matt: yeah, use an object. sam: oh, use an object, not an item. i can't usemy ring or anything, right? matt: i'll say, for the purposes of this? sure.why not? sam: okay, so i'm hasted, i will use, i pick upthe ring of the ram, and i'll ram the fish-man. travis: oh, yes!
laura: oh, nice! matt: okay. how many charges does it have? travis: ring of the ram, that's been a while. sam: three charges, right? so i can use two? matt: you can use as many charges as you want thatthe ring holds. it should tell you up to a certain amount-- sam: it has three charges. sam: well, it says i can use an action to expendone to three of its charges. okay. i'll do all three, right?
matt: all right. so, it is still restrained,so go ahead and roll with advantage an attack roll plus seven. sam: ooh. 19. matt: with advantage? sam: oh. natural 20. matt: oh, shit. well. okay. roll 6d10 forcedamage. travis: holy shit. 6d10? taliesin: how many do you need? matt: well, then we double what he rolled,because it's a critical.
marisha: six, you need six? travis: and that's force damage. sam: okay. 35. 70. matt: 70 points of force damage against thecreature. so as you focus on your ring, there's a burst of divine white-looking energy that turnsinto this giant plate-like shield in front of you, and it just stays there. you're like, huh? andsuddenly it thrusts forward, and out the front of it, like a portal, a giant spectral ram-head justslams into the chest, throwing it off the ship, as it screams, it just turns into sea foam. travis: you killed it!
matt: it's scattered into the ocean across fromyou. it is destroyed. sam: can it be like a kid who's holding a rifle,but not up to him, so it hits him and it really throws me back a little? matt: which, yeah, sure. roll a dexterity savingthrow. sam: five. matt: off the ship, into the water. matt: splash! into the water. travis: back in the drink again! marisha: are there still bad guys left?
matt: there are. there's two over here, andthere's two currently in the water below. ending your turn-- marisha: but nothing left on the ship, right? laura: that we see? marisha: that we see? matt: correct. these guys are trying to swimforward. that was cocked. nope. these guys, at the top of the round, get pushed back. marisha: bye! matt: taryon--
sam: i lost alter self when i hasted. matt: yeah, so you're just generally swimming,but you also float back in the ocean. you're now caught in the water behind, so the ship carries onwithout you. taliesin: and that was the last anyone saw oftaryon darrington. marisha: he got his $50,000 worth. matt: the water elemental's going to go ahead andtake two slam attacks. sam: you there! hello. matt: it's taking a slam attack against grog,it's taking a slam attack against the pirate. matt: so against grog, it has advantage on youbecause you used reckless.
travis: yep. matt: that is a 23. matt: 16 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced toeight. matt: and against the pirate, that hits.and the elemental reaches around, and as it punches grog in the face, it slams the otherpirate in the head, its fist engulfing his head, and he just kind of stands there, trying to finda way out, and it just drowns him while it's standing, and it drops the body to the ground. laura: oh, fuck. travis: oh, it killed him?
matt: yeah, it lashed out. laura: one of our guys? matt: did enough damage-- no, one of the pirates. laura: oh, shit. he is untameable. matt: vax, you're up. liam: you know when you look at a cat that'salarmed because it's nervous and all the hair is puffed out? vax's feathers are all going likepffft, watching keyleth wreck the boat, i could fucking watch you do this all day. up into theair, and i go and get tary out of the water. sam: aw!
matt: you go grab tary. liam: and i'm gonna pick him up and dump him backon our boat, towards the back of the ship. matt: okay, carrying him, we'll say you're at halfspeed, so that gets you just to the edge of the ship. liam: cool. i'm good. wait, no, do i have anaction left? can i use divine sense right now? matt: as you're hasted, you have the hasteaction... liam: yeah, i am hasted. matt: i'll say you can use divine sense, sure. liam: okay. i pat him down and go, we're good,we're good,
and i'm just gonna make sure he's not a demon. matt: oh. taryon. liam: yes. travis: a demon? what? laura: why a demon? marisha: what? why would you think he's a demon? sam: guys, the conclusion of the epic seriesshades of magic, a conjuring of light, was just released, so go pick it up. it's put out by torbooks, a leading publisher of science fiction and fantasy for over three decades.
matt: okay. that ends vax's turn. vex, you're up. laura: okay. i'll fly over to percy, who's on thefucking ground. laura: and i say, are you good? taliesin: it was worth it. good. laura: lovely. get off this boat. and i'll flyover and try to help out the fight on the other side. matt: okay. we'll say that's 20... 40...yeah, you can get over here. matt: you'd still be just above the fray. laura: and then i'll shoot some arrows at--
matt: there's one guy left, and the elemental. laura: i'll shoot 'em at the guy. matt: okay, go ahead for two strikes on that. laura: yeah. oh, disadvantage, too? matt: the fog is still around, so yes. laura: oh, damn it. okay. travis: oh, one of them was a-- laura: yeah, but. 20 on the first one, and 15 plusseven on the second one. 22. matt: both hit. roll damage.
marisha: you have a d3? sam: i need a d3. taliesin: it's a d6. marisha: it's a d6 cut in half. sam: wait, two, four, six or something? okay. laura: oh, jesus, this is terrible, this isterrible. taliesin: there is actually a d3 that has twoones, two twos, and two threes. laura: 17. plus three lightning damage. andthen... 16 plus two lightning damage. and then for my bonus action, trinket's gonna-- and it wassneak attack,
because there's something next to him, huh? laura: (cackles) five for sneak attack! laura: and then trinket will attack him too. matt: roll an attack for trinket. liam: (bear noises) laura: yes. that is-- what is that, a biteattack? matt: whichever one you decide. laura: sure, it's a bite attack. a 24. matt: that hits. roll damage.
laura: it's 11. matt: 11. as both arrows staple, one into theguy's knee, he falls down to the ground on one knee. the other one hits him in the side of thebody, and he looks up just as trinket chomps down over his head. matt: and just crunches down. you watch as hisskull collapses with the force of the bear's jaw, and the arms just go limp at the sides. matt: trinket then shakes him a bit, and his limpbody just goes whoompf, whoompf, just slamming and breaking into the side of the ship, and then dropsit on the ground, and trinket turns around andlooks in your direction.
laura: good job, boy! liam: that made us all so happy. laura: yeah, it's great. marisha: see a guy get thrashed. laura: i wish scanlan could've been here to seethat. sam: 87 episodes. one kill. laura: he's had more than one. matt: two of the guys are trying to swim,but they're not able to keep up. you just watch them slowly vanish behind you in the fog.all right, percy?
taliesin: the water elemental's still a problem,i take it? matt: you can see it still lashing out, yes. travis: and there's one hook left. taliesin: i'm going to stand up, dust myself off,pull out bad news, take careful aim-- slightly irritated aim at that water elemental, and seewhat happens. matt: go for it. disadvantage on the shot. taliesin: disadvantage on the shot. travis: has the fog not dissipated becausefish-head got done with? laura: no.
taliesin: not yet. i'm actually going to spend agrit to gain my advantage back. matt: okay. go for it. taliesin: come on. thank god i didn't do that tooweird. that's 20. matt: 20 hits. taliesin: i'm also gonna blow through most ofcabal's ruin, 'cause that's funny. i know, i say that a lot. so that's standard damage,is 15 points of damage, plus where is-- marisha: 1d4 plus four... 1d6 lightning damage percharge expended. taliesin: okay, 1d6 per charge. you know? let'send this. should we just end this? marisha: that's good. lightning's bad for water.not that i'd know.
taliesin: i figured it would be. i'm just gonnablow eight of the charges, so do you have five more-- marisha: yeah, i do. five more, of course.dream come true, make it happen. laura: if this doesn't end it... taliesin: so plus (counting) 23 points oflightning damage on top of that. matt: okay, so as you bring bad news down and aimacross the way, fire the bullet, it blasts across, and you guys see this glow of electrical energythat just shoots through the air, the bullet enhanced by the cabal's ruin vestige enchantment.as it blasts into the side of the elemental, the elemental gets blown back through the air,and as it does, it just vaporizes.
marisha: is that everyone done? matt: all the enemies currently seem to be not onthe ship, or dragging behind. however, (creaking noise) taliesin: i'm going to stop, i'm going to wave,and i'm going to go walk over and start looking to see if i can see what that glow is. i'm goingto deactivate this, because i want to loot this ship. matt: okay. make a perception check. taliesin: ooh, that's better. that's 25. matt: 25. you glance in the side, and you see now,there is a singular small palantãr-type orb,
but smaller, that is a foggy gray color on theinside that's slowly swirling, and you can see it's gathering condensation and mist around it. taliesin: does there seem to be any mechanism forturning it off or otherwise? matt: it looks like it's just embedded into it. marisha: take it with us, take it with us. taliesin: i'm going to at least try and pick itup, and-- taliesin: okay. liam: while he's busy, i'm gonna jet over next tokeyleth. liam: oh, are we in combat rounds?
matt: we're going to stay in order for a second. liam: oh, okay. matt: there is a bit of a-- taliesin: that's adorable. marisha: that's sad. taliesin: three. matt: (straining sound) you feel something pop inyour back shoulder, and your right arm gets a little numb. taliesin: that's so mean.
liam: it's like when you just reach out to pick upsomething-- marisha: yeah, you never know. getting old, man. taliesin: there's no way to-- matt: as you go over to it, you see it's there,but it's currently held in place by something that's beneath the orb, or at least it's eitheradhered or glued to or held there, you just don't have the strength to lift it. taliesin: there's gotta be a way to turn thisoff. matt: so that's your turn. marisha: i shout to--
matt: it's grog's turn, actually. marisha: sorry. travis: i go over to the harpoon hook, and like,fuck this harpoon hook. can i try and get it out of the ship with my strength? matt: sure, go ahead and roll a strength check.with advantage, because you are raging. travis: hey. 25. matt: one-handed. laura: hey! matt: (tink, fwoomp) and it just flies out of yourgrip from the tension out of the ship. you have to
pull your hand back 'cause the-- one of the giantgnarled edges of it almost take your arm off in the process. travis: (gasp) laura: you almost lost that gauntlet! matt: it tears a section of the edge of this boatoff. just the railing on the side kind of pulls through it immediately. travis: i'll pay for that. matt: trinket has to pull off to the side and theone guy kind of backs up immediately as it shoots off into the water below. for you guys, the ship,now that it doesn't have the tension to the side,
is now capsizing very quickly and turning on theside. taliesin: oh, god. travis: i feel like i did something bad. marisha: that was cool! travis: oopsie. matt: keyleth, you're up. marisha: i say: hey guys! cruises are reallytrashy! (laughs) travis: jokes while you're doing that. marisha: and i still have control water going.
liam: tip your waiters. marisha: can i flush out the bottom of the cruiseship and bring whatever treasure is up out of the bow with what water is there? just kind of(whoof)? taliesin: like a spigot. matt: you're kinda off to the side. you can lookdown, it's not very well-lit on the inside at all. like, it is not lit on the interior. you do haveyour elven darkvision for a few feet, so you have to glance over and look into the room below,but right now all you're seeing is seafoam and ocean pouring into the side of the ship. marisha: okay, i stop sinking the boat. becausewe're not dying.
matt: okay. the ship is still sinking. you filledit with water, and currently the side of it hasbeen blasted twice. marisha: i bring the water up like a fountain ofwealth and youth. just coming up. out of the bottom. liam: wow. marisha: just other way. liam: oh, boy! marisha: seeing what comes out from the bottom ofthe ship. marisha: hopefully not dead bodies or like--
taliesin: (sings) it's rainin' men... laura: i know, if there were slaves-- marisha: slave trade or something sad-- yeah,like slave. laura: fingers crossed. let's not do that tokeyleth. marisha: oh, come on! travis: it's just kids! marisha: he's looking at his notes like it's athing! travis: it's just kids. everyone: (laughs and groans)
travis: kids and puppies! marisha: that's my worst nightmare! matt: you're terrible! liam: gosh! matt: okay, so as the water comes rushing up fromunderneath, you see a lot of genuinely soaked food items come shooting up, large chunks of brokenwood, what appear to be additional iron ballista spears. marisha: oh! matt: and lots of chain come firing up from theinside.
marisha: watch your head! points! matt: furniture, chairs, occasionally (water soundeffects) just pieces of broken things from the interior. you're not seeing much else than that atthe moment. marisha: aw. these were lame pirates! notreasure. taliesin: let's get the orb at the very least. matt: (sarcastically) good pirates keep all theirtreasure on their ship at all times. marisha: lame! liam: just hundreds and hundreds of nes classics. laura: we really should've kept one of themalive.
travis: do you wanna check the captain's quartersbefore it all goes down? laura: yeah! what if there's a map to treasure? liam: (sighs) looks like it's going down prettyfast, though, yeah? travis: those of you on the boat-- taliesin: doing it now-- yes, we want to it nowwhile there's an order of operations based on a die roll! keyleth: i have control! i have control! matt: taryon! matt: anything you wish to add to thiscircumstance? you're now soaking wet, but your
winged savior has lifted you down onto the edge ofthe ship. liam: (ting) taliesin: (sings) and i would do anything forlove. sam: how many of you can fly? liam: two or three, give or take. sam: amazing! incredible! stupendous! no,i have nothing to add, other than-- do you need my assistance in cleaning up any of theseruffians? oh, also, one question. liam: yeah? sam: did i hurt the beast?
liam: man, you did great! you knocked that guyclear off! sam: really? sam: i killed it! liam: that's a good start, man. sam: what was it? liam: what was it? liam: oh, you need to ask the white-haired one.i dunno. sam: okay! taliesin: oh, that's me!
sam: was it bad? liam: the worst! matt: all right, so you spend your turnconversing. sam: pretty much! liam: six seconds of dialogue, right there! matt: all right, we'll say for the pace of thingshere, guys, the ship is maybe 30 seconds from fully sinking into the water. anybody you guyswanna-- laura: 30 seconds? liam: i'm gonna do what i said before, and i'mgonna go and land next to keyleth.
taliesin: see if we can grab the orb. i'm gonnarun downstairs and see if i can see paperwork in the captain's quarters or anything-- or run in thecaptain's quarters and just do a massive loot, really, just as quick as i can. matt: investigation check with disadvantage.the room is currently tilted pretty heavily, and everything has slid and collided onto oneside of the room. it's just a giant pile of broken furniture. marisha: i said i balanced it out and that i'mkind of doing that. travis: you want me to jump over there and go getthe orb? marisha: we also kinda put a bunch of holes intothe side of it.
matt: yeah, there are a bunch of holes in theship-- marisha: so i can only do so much. matt: your control water can localize some cooleffects, but overall the ship itself has taken too much damage. travis: can i use my boots of feral leaping toleap from one ship to the other? matt: sure, make an athletics check. laura: i want to fly down and help percyinvestigate. if there's time. liam: we're pretty flush already. let's make itquick. taliesin: well, there might be something magic.okay. my investigation check is 19.
matt: 19 with disadvantage? matt: nice! all right, pulling from the inside andrummaging through, you find-- taliesin: any papers i'm just gonna grab. matt: yeah, you grab whatever papers you can,there's a small leather tube, you grab that. looking about inside, there's a ring of keys.you find a bunch of scattered coins throughout the room. it looks like there was a couple ofsmall chests that just opened up and-- taliesin: i'm looking more for magic, i don't careabout gold-- magic or weird. taliesin: catch the eye. are the keys, like-- matt: they look like some sort of opening device,yeah.
taliesin: oh, no. okay, yeah, i'm gonna grab themanyway. matt: okay. so you grab the keys. cool. allright. travis: 22. to jump across. matt: to jump across, okay. so you make it across,and you try and go underneath now. the ship, now, not only is it listing to one side, but it'sstarting to lift up a little bit. marisha: i try to balance it as much as i can. matt: so you're slowing the process. slowing it. travis: make my way to the orb. rip it out. matt: the ship is also slowly moving behind theother ship, as it's no longer maintaining speed.
all right, so what are you doing? travis: i'm trying to make it to the orb that hewas too weak to pull out-- matt: strength check. taliesin: i hope you pull something in your knee. travis: hah! 25. taliesin: god damn it. matt: (popping sound) travis: i got it! throw it in the water? taliesin: no! let's keep it, let's bring it to theother ship.
marisha: put it in the bag of holding, grog. travis: in the bag of holding. travis: and i run, and i try and jump back to theother boat. matt: make an athletics check. travis: i'm not gonna make it, but-- laura: you might. liam: you might. matt: five, ten, 15, 20... you catch the edge andare dangling on the side of the ship as your fingers are right there.
liam: looney tunes! travis: (breathing hard) i'm good. sam: you could have flown. travis: i swallowed the coin. matt: percival, water is now starting to spill inunderneath you, and you're now about knee-deep inside, and everything's-- all the papers that youhaven't already grabbed are soaked and floating up at the top. taliesin: i'm gonna run out. there's-- oh, man. i don't hear anything coming from down below,do i?
laura: did you ever hear that i wanted to go helppercy investigate, was i able to do that? marisha: please tell me i didn't kill someoneinnocent again. matt: yeah, you could fly over. because you'rebehind him. as you rush in to help him, he has a couple armfuls of things, the room is now aboutknee-high with water and is tilting heavily to this side, and there's just floating bits of paperand soaked books and pieces of broken wood and furniture-- the room is utter chaos. laura: anything interesting? taliesin: yeah, i don't know. hold on. i'm gonnalisten for it. marisha: hopefully no innocent people.
taliesin: perception check. sam: (muffled) help me, i'm an orphan! taliesin: you're terrible. 17. matt: 17? you take a listen. through all thesplashing of water, the sound of wood creaking, and the ocean outside, you don't hear anything. laura: what are you listening for? taliesin: i show the keys. i'm worried there's acage down there. i still have the spider boots, so i'm holding on. laura: can i hear anything with my elven ears?
taliesin: you've got an elven perception check. liam: they're taking the hobbits to isengard. laura: what do your elf eyes see? oh, nothing. liam: it was a one. laura: it was a one. matt: okay, yeah. you go down and listen,and as soon as you do the water splashes up into your ear, and you get a bunch of salt water in theear canal. up in your nose a bit. you're like, ugh. laura: that was awful. we should get out.
taliesin: i'm gonna hand her a bunch of stuff,including some of my things, and be back-- i'm gonna try and see if i can just-- matt: spider-boot down. taliesin: spider-boot and see if i can hold mybreath and look. laura: don't drown, percival. taliesin: i'm gonna grab, and try and use thelenses on my mask to even get a clear shot of what's under there. marisha: and i'm just trying to visualize with thelast ten minutes that i have of control water to clear the bottom of this passage.
matt: so you can do that. you can prevent,slowing the sinking, to part water. marisha: the rushing-in, that's what i want to do.i wanna part right where percy's heading. matt: okay. as you do that, the ship begins tolist even further back and at an angle, and you watch as the front of it comes upward, andeverything on the ship begins to slide past-- travis: yes! matt: -- in the direction of keyleth and vax. marisha: sorry, physics. liam: get off! matt: can i have you both make dexterity savingthrows, if you could.
marisha: what, me too? marisha: jesus f. christ. matt: a bunch of barrels just (rolling sound) inyour direction. marisha: oh, that's not too bad. just straight dexsaving throw. plus five. liam: natural 20. marisha: what did i roll? 16. matt: okay, yeah, you both manage to just sidestepout of the way as they tumble past and splash intothe water below. taliesin: get out of here, you two!
matt: you're starting to lose your footing alittle bit. you probably have one more round before you just start sliding off the edge. liam: let's go, man! marisha: quick, quick, quick! taliesin: i'm fine. vex is here, you two leave. matt: percival. perception check, as the waterseparates in the room. taliesin: yeah. that's what i'm hoping for. marisha: aw, you rolled a 19! taliesin: that's 26.
matt: okay. as you push down into the chamber withthe walls of the water to the sides-- as you look down, and most of the furniture that was thrust upout of this area is cleared out. you do see two cages in the far back, one of which is empty. the other one does seem to have some sort ofhumanoid inside. taliesin: i'm going for it. marisha: come on. matt: okay. you rush up to the cage, and you lookinside and you can already see what looks to be a slumped-over humanoid. you see no features,and there's no light down here, and your human eyes don't make out a lot of detail. the fact thatyou rolled so high-- it's only the little bit of
light comes down here that's reflecting around. laura: shit. taliesin: i've already got the keys in my hand andi'm just going to start going for it. matt: first key, nothing. second key, nothing.third key, noth-- (creaking sounds) sam: cut the red wire! matt: water begins to pour in from another side,and the ship itself is pulling back. i want you to go ahead and make an intelligence check. marisha: come on, percy. come on. taliesin: i'm going to choose to use a resolve.that's a save, isn't it?
matt: that's for a saving throw. travis: why didn't you roll the snitch? matt: what did you roll? taliesin: i rolled a one. matt: a natural one. you start getting the keysin, and there's probably a good 15 or 16 or so keys on here, and you get through about six ofthem before the ship itself has gone into a fall, and the cages begin to slide-- taliesin: okay, i'm rolling. there's someone inthere, but i can't get it! and i'm going to spider-climb on the upside, on the wrong side ofthe wood and stay out of the water and crawl out.
liam: was he under water, or was the water-- matt: the water is being parted by keyleth,currently. matt: the cage is beginning to slide now,towards the back of the ship. taliesin: i don't know what to do. and i'm runningout, i don't know what else to do. matt: okay, so. marisha: what? taliesin: there's someone in a cage. i don't knowwhat to do! liam: i'll fly at that. marisha: are you going? i'm gonna try whateverlast bit of control water i have to try and part
and calm the waters where vax is going, and i say,go vax, go! matt: okay, so you just fly in? liam: if there's a cage, i'll go to it. matt: as you rush down inside, you watch as thesetwo large, heavy cages are tumbling in your direction. an empty one slams just past you,and the other one slams into that, itself turning up a bit, and something inside slumps to the sideof the bars. marisha: i'm trying to calm the water as much as ican. liam: can i even see the lock or where the keyswere? matt: make an investigation check.
matt: the keys you do not have. percy has-- taliesin: i have the keys, but none of them wereworking. liam: that's a 21. matt: 21. you manage to, as you leap up using yourwings in little bursts-- this is a small, enclosed space, you can't use too much of the airto fly. in what little bit of parting of the water's being done, you catch up and climb ontothe top, and you can see the cage has turned on its side, and the doorway is on the top.so you can see the actual lock. liam: all right. while i'm hasted, do i have anaction left to get up there and pick it? matt: i'd say yeah.
liam: yeah? okay. laura and marisha: go, go, go! liam: 32. matt: you reach out and pull out your picks,and as you look up-- keyleth, at this point you're parting the water, but the ship is nowsinking, and you are-- you're sliding off. taliesin: i grab. can i make a jump to grab? matt: you can. go ahead and make a dexteritycheck. marisha: and i'm just holding concentration,hoping someone catches me. taliesin: my dexterity-- save or check?
matt: either. taliesin: they're both the same. it doesn'tmatter. marisha: that's good, that's good. taliesin: 22. matt: just catch keyleth as she's about to slideoff the edge, and you hold her there. now, i will not require a concentration check fromyou, however, you're about to both go under water. matt: you're holding her at the edge of the ship.you get the door open. it slams over on the side. and looking down inside, you can see what appearsto be
a slumped-over, soggy mess of a person.unconscious. liam: okay, can i keep going here, or-- matt: yeah. grab them, pull them up, fireman'scarry-- liam: and then just try to slowly, messily floathim up and out of here. laura: i want to go help if i can. matt: yeah, there's not much room for flight,it's more like-- liam: all right, so pull. matt: -- leaping through, as you make your waythere. you just get up onto the edge as the water goes past both percy and keyleth. you guys,
your faces just (splash) beneath the oceanwater. liam: i shout out, twinnie! laura: i help, i help, i help. matt: you rush down from the broom. he goes andflings the person over your lap, and you take up on the rest of the ship as the boat now iscompletely submerged. you watch the tip of it just (splash) beneath the water. bubbling the water up around as-- marisha: i drop control water, switch back to myalter self, grab percy, head back to the boat. sam: while this is going on, i'm asking captainadella's crew for towels. could i get a towel? or some sort of-- i'm really wet, here.
matt: they're all on the edge of the ship,watching this happen. with one in the crow's nest, keeping an eye out. and they're not payingany attention to you. sam: i'm just worried that this will rust if idon't get it dry soon, so if i could get some towels, or maybe someone to fan it off, that wouldbe great. thank you. matt: all right. no response, but you are eager torepeat your question. as you make your way over, keyleth, you pull percival-- because both of youguys sink quite a bit below with the ship. as soon as it goes under, it goes under fast,and as soon as you glance up to watch that vax makes his way out, and you can just see over thesurface, you relieve that to start swimming up, and both the two of you-- you release your boots,and begin to make your way to the surface.
it takes a moment, and you just get to the cuspof what you can hold your breath, before you both break the surface. percy takes a deep breath,and you guys eventually swim your way over towards the edge of the boat. the fog, by the way,has begun to dissipate now, and has been slowly doing so since your removal of the orb from theedge. matt: as you guys all manage to make your way backonto the surface of the ship, waterlogged and tired, we're going to take a break for therestroom. travis: nice! a fight at sea! marisha: a fight at sea! travis: we made it off the titanic!
taliesin: i fell off a boat. liam: this is stupid, rose! this is stupid! travis: this is stupid, why would you do that? marisha: like battleship, but better. matt: so we'll be back here in a few minutes.we do have a wyrmwood giveaway for you guys in the chat room. be active in the chat room,just you have to use the phrase 'wyrmwood', w-y-r-m-w-o-o-d, â in the chat room, once theyinitiate the actual contest, and we'll come back from the break with the winner. so we'll see youhere in a few minutes, guys. [break]
matt: hello, everyone, and welcome back tocritical role! first off, thank you again to our evening's sponsor, tor books! all: tor books! matt: for coming out and sponsoring this episode,make sure to check out a conjuring of light, the conclusion to the shades of magic series isnow available. also, we had a contest in the chat for this fantastic mahogany dice vault bywyrmwood, the winner is terrythesortofgamer. matt: congratulations, terry, we're gonna go aheadand get this signed and shipped out to you asap. thank you all for entering, we'll have more giveaways in future episodes as well as talks machina on tuesday with brian foster.anyway, let's bring it back in.
matt: so, having returned to the ship, the foglifted, and the path before you now clear, the rest of the open, cloudless sky before you,you continued ahead in the southwestern direction towards the islands of anamn,which is where vesrah exists-- laura: but i wanted to see the prisoner-- marisha: yeah, the prisoner. laura: -- are they okay? i mean,did i check them out while i was-- matt: we're getting to that right now. marisha: let's bring 'em back. travis: fuckin', just cool your jets.
marisha: we wanna talk to him. laura: well, i mean, i had him on my lapas i was flying back. i wanted to make sure they were okay. matt: right, so you come back to the--as you bring the prisoner down, you lay him down-- and it is a man, early, mid-thirties-ish, maybe looks grizzled, kind of a half beard growing in-- travis: kill him. matt: -- he is drowned at the moment. sam: oh, he's dead?
matt: he's not breathing, he is waterlogged, and even at a quick glance, you can see he has scars all over hisbody-- laura: oh no. matt: -- his clothes are tattered-- marisha: do i have any residual control water left? yeah? matt: i'd say yeah, you're still concentrating-- laura: i roll him on his side. marisha: can i see if i can pull any water out ofhis lungs? matt: you know what? make a wisdom check.
liam: out come the lungs. laura: (vomit noise) and he's dead. dead dead. marisha: that's good! just straight wisdom? liam: he's inside out. marisha: straight wisdom? travis: what is dead may never die! marisha: 21. laura: oh no, you keep scooching back. matt: 21!
marisha: just straight wisdom? liam: what the heck, laura. matt: so you get down on the low, and you reachout and grab the shoulder, and using the last moments of your control water spell, you focusand begin to just siphon the water out of the lungs, and immediately the body kind of convulses,the throat opens up from the outside, and you can see the water just project outward as the chestpushes inward, expelling the rest of the liquid from the lungs. immediately, (coughs). marisha: vax. help. laura: pat, pat, pat, pat, pat.
liam: i do pat, pat, pat, except i cast lay on hands when i do it. laura: yeah, well, i cast cure wounds while thathappens, so go fuck yourself. liam: seems oddly competitive at this moment,where we're saving a man's life, but all right. matt: what last murmurs of this man's lifethat remained as he began to fade to the drowning, you both manage to just bring him back from thecusp of death, and coughing profusely over the next 30 or so seconds, turning onto his stomachand gathering himself, taking breaths, spitting out whatever seawater still remains in his lungs,he looks back up at you all, and you can see he has a ragged, mouse-brown hair on top, and it'sshorter on the sides around the ear, rather large ears, kind of square jaw but very scrawny,and once again from the tattered clothes and
scars all over his body, some fresh, some old, looks like he's undergone a rough recent weeks-- laura: i feel like we're finding percy all over again. marisha: no shit. matt: kinda looks up at everyone. "wh-- where am i?" laura: on a boat! taliesin: different boat. ship. liam: our boat. matt: "what do you want?"
laura: how long have you been in that cell? matt: "who are you?" laura: we're your saviors. matt: he leans back, falls onto his palms a bit,and is just kinda laying back, too exhausted to move away, but trying to justmove back a bit. laura: can i insight check him and make sure? i just don't trust anyone. matt: sure. insight check. laura: ooh, natural 20. wow wow wow. sam: he's a demon.
marisha: oh shit. liam: it's hotis, it's hotis, it's hotis, it's hotis! laura: oh it is, it's hotis, it's hotis! marisha: oh, i don't wanna fight hotis on the ocean. sam: guys, feel free to keep-- marisha: what you got? what do you got, grog? matt: shove off, travis. sam: keep tweeting those pick-up lines to @torbooks. they like 'em. i do, anyway. liam: guys, i'm gonna make a tor books run, doesanybody want anything?
matt: curse you, travis. sam: grande fantasy novel? laura: don't worry. matt: (coughs) laura: your captors have been defeated. matt: "well that's good, eh?" laura: you're safe. what's your name? matt: he leans forward, sits up and looks at you.he seems to soften a little bit, though he's still guarded. "thenton groose. first mate of the ship tempest fang. yeah."
laura: tempest fang? matt: "tempest fang. yeah. it was taken by a bunchof bastards, kept me in that cage for a few weeks." laura: weeks. marisha: tempest fang-- where do you hail from? matt: "who wants to know?" marisha: keyleth, of the air ashari. matt: "from around." marisha: from around? matt: "i'm a businessman of the seas."
marisha: not the sailor type, then? matt: "sail a bit." marisha: what were you doing on the ozmitsea? matt: "making a shipment across to emon fromissylra, and this group of thugs decided to go "ahead and ransack us from the side. took our shipdown and most of the crew. kept a few of us alive "underneath. seems like i was the one who lastedthe longest." marisha: from emon to where? liam: from issylra to emon. matt: "from issylra."
marisha: oh, from issylra. liam: what was your cargo? matt: he looks at you for a second, reads you up and down as you step into the conversation. "general goods. few fancy textiles--" liam: insight check. matt: "some silks, some furs." taliesin: insight. matt: insight check. taliesin: 19.
sam: oh boy! laura: again, again! sam: lots of whispers, guys. liam: just come sit with us. marisha: all the whispers. laura: oh, but do you just wanna hangout over here? 'cause travis is just gonna fuck with your shit again. sam: hey, in the future-- travis, what do you think about this-- don't shake your butt. sam: that's disgusting.
marisha: get it, levi's, yeah. sam: what if we-- here's my pitch. what if wehave two tin cans and a string that just goes to matt, and we can do like one of thesethings. matt: that's a great idea. sam: ah! ah! laura: that would be so cool. matt: "yeah, i'm just-- i'm glad you came along." taliesin: tell me, friend. why did they keep youalive? matt: "that's a good question."
taliesin: it is. matt: "i don't fucking know." taliesin: what did they ask you? laura: can we get some food? taliesin: i think that's a great idea. matt: immediately his eyes widen-- laura: i was talking back to captain adella or one of the crewmates. not you, grog. matt: as soon as you do that, captain adella goes, "ah, i don't get food. you get food!" and one of the other crewmates, "oh, oh right."
and he immediately jumps down below the deck. sam: i'm gluten-free! liam: well, we saved your life, how else can wehelp you, friend? matt: "oh, just drop me off at the nearest port you get to, please." taliesin: that's going to be a while. marisha: yes. matt: "that's fine. that's fine." marisha: have you sailed frequently before? what was your exact duty on this ship? laura: first mate?
marisha: oh. right. he already said that. so, you sail a lot. matt: "a fair bit, yeah." taliesin: any tattoos on him? matt: yeah, actually, a handful visibly. taliesin: any i'd recognize? i was on a boat forquite a while, as well. taliesin: it was a long time ago. matt: make a history check. taliesin: all right. let's say 18. matt: 18? okay. none of thesymbols you recognize, necessarily, however,
the arrangement of them-- the placement of themand the general design are not used as-- there's tattoos you could see they're decoration,there're tattoos you could see that are meant as-- they mean something to the person. thesetattoos and their placement seems intentionally to intimidate. taliesin: huh. okay. laura: was he a pirate? travis: mr. theton groove, is anyonelooking for you right now? matt: "i don't thinkso, my crew went down with the ship." taliesin: what was your captain's name?
matt: he kind of looks over at you, "wha-- what-- why--" taliesin: i was just curious how quicklyyou'd answer it. it's fine. carry on. you will be getting food, don't worry, this is not us beingthreatening, we're just... it's odd finding a man in a cage in the bottom of a terrible ship filledwith awful people. that alone makes us like you, but you are a bit weird. marisha: that's true. that's all true. taliesin: it is true. laura: forgive us, we have to be a bit wary. marisha: we've seen a lot.
matt: "no, no, that's--" taliesin: we don't mind if you're disreputable, we just would like to know if you're our kind of disreputable. sam: if i may, new companions. travis: oh god. sam: when my father would have-- taliesin: oh boy, okay. sam: -- sort of a cagey individual that he neededto interrogate, he had an employee named the dog who was a large man, who would come and justsqueeze them until they talked. why don't
we just do that here? it seems like it would be much quicker than talking in circles like this. marisha: do you have the dog with you? sam: well, we have this guy, who's pretty big-- marisha: oh. sam: -- and i bet he could squeeze-- travis: i mean, i second that method,but i'm just seeing if anybody else-- taliesin: i feel like that's deeply premature. travis: it's deeply immature. i would never do something like that. taliesin: immature indeed.
sam: well, all right. laura: plus he's so frail right now, i'm afraidgrog would just break him in half. travis: probably. matt: he is noticeably looking nervously back andforth between taryon and grog, and-- travis: i mean, after all, we saved your life, right? you wouldn't be(yells) hiding nothing, would you? matt: "no?" travis: see? marisha: honestly, this is how we treat people we like.
taliesin: god, that's also true. matt: "does anyone have any water?" taliesin: oh yes. matt: "fresh water? oh, thank you." and he pulls it out and just starts drinking thirstily from it. marisha: all right. so we've cleared afew things, right? you seem untrustworthy, and broken, so therefore we like you. what elsecan we learn about you? matt: "i don't know what you're talking about. look, i have business contacts, "i can get you paid, just get me safe somewhere."
taliesin: what sort of business contacts? matt: "the sort that i do business with, i toldyou. we deal in trade across the ozmit." liam: yeah, i mean, he's shifty as fuck,but it's no skin off my back, right? taliesin: no, not really. travis: we got any cages on this boat? taliesin: oh, we're not-- we don't need that yet,where's he going to go? laura: do i see any, like, clasp markings on him at all? liam: that question might be great, but i thinkwe're all right. matt: nothing clasp. not really.
travis: gotta sleep at some point. matt: you kinda glance over and look at the middleof his shoulders and his shirt is kind of billowing, and torn. no symbol of the clasp. laura: those scars on your body. were they frombefore you were captured, or after? matt: "some-- both ways. the cages don't reallyprotect very well." laura: what were they doing to you? matt: "they were just having fun, trying to get information about my company, and, "you know. being general pirate arseholes." travis: sounds fun.
marisha: and you're sure they were just pirates,yeah? matt: "well, what else are they? not the most pious men i've ever met." marisha: i don't know. i've never met a real pirate until just now. matt: at which point, one of the crewmen comes up with a small cluster of biscuits, and hands them over as he greedily reaches outlike, "oh!" marisha: wait, one of the crewmen? taliesin: one of ours. marisha: one of ours? laura: i asked if they would bring him food.
sam: we asked for food. matt: adella just sent him for food. laura: i asked him to bring food. marisha: why is he acting like he's starving? laura: because he's been in a cage fortwo weeks. they didn't feed him very much. marisha: oh, him, not our crewmate. travis: holy shit. taliesin: oh, okay, i--
matt: the crewman brought food, and hereached out for it. marisha: oh, sorry. matt: that's okay. marisha: sorry, we were confused. sorry. liam: can't you see everything around you?it's all here. travis: he brings up a plate of biscuits and hungrily starts eating. taliesin: bangarang. bangarang! marisha: i brought you biscuits! (eatingsounds) taliesin: congratulations, peter.
matt: the crewman's a dick, by the way. just-- marisha: do you want these? matt: these are good biscuits, starving guy! to be fair, that is kinda your style. laura: thenton, you will forgive us if we don't give you free rein of the ship while you're on here. matt: "oh no, that's fine. that's fine. i mean, lock me up, whatever you need. "just get me back to land, please." laura: we'll promise not to poke you. matt: "that's appreciated."
marisha: so, you said you travel the ozmit sea frequently, yeah? matt: "yeah." marisha: have you stumbled upon the island of the vesrah? the ashari people of this ocean? laura: (laughs) of the ashari. marisha: of the ashari (laughs). matt: he says, "if what you're referring to isthe islands of anamn, we generally steer clear. "too many reefs." marisha: of omand? alland? matt: anamn. a-n-a-m-n.
marisha: almond? sam: aman. taliesin: joy. laura: a-- marisha: almond joy. taliesin: sorry. marisha: the island-- matt: a-n-a-m-n. anamn. marisha: a-n-a-m-n.
taliesin: cluster. marisha: anman. an-amn. travis: well, we should introduce ourselves, at least. travis: we are vox machina, a travellinggroup of acrobats, and-- laura: defeaters of dragons. no big deal. liam: i do van damme splits, just as he finishes that sentence. laura: trinket gets up and startsdancing around like he knows what to do, when we say we're performers. marisha: and i light up my fire hands.
travis: we do have two smarter members that arenot here, scanlan and pike, but maybe you'll see them later if you stick with us long enough. laura: she's a sailor, too. matt: "great." sam: percival, am i misreading the scenario here?can i please just pour acid on him until he talks to us? it seems like he's holding back, am imisreading, here? taliesin: no-- well, sort of-- not really-- sort of. it's complicated. we don't pour acid on people-- well, that's not true. no, that's a lie. we don't just pour acid on people, i feel like that's reasonable to say.we don't just pour acid--
liam: context. context is key. taliesin: -- there's usually context involved.things are complicated. sam: i am following your lead. but-- taliesin: when it is time to pour the acid,we will undoubtedly make sure that you are on the front--not yet-- taliesin: -- but you're good. sam: all right. liam: hey, captain. matt: adella's behind you guys--
matt: -- just kinda watching this whole thing withher arms crossed. one of her crewmates is currently at the helm. liam: i mean, the closest place to us right now isour desination, most likely, right? we're not gonna be able to dump this guybefore we arrive, do you think? matt: "yeah, no, we got maybe a day and a halftravel 'til we reach the islands, so--" liam: oy. laura: that's all right, he can stayon the boat. travis: we got an extra room for him? matt: "we got a-- we can throw him in thebrig."
taliesin: we can make the brig comfortable. laura: yeah. we'll give him food. it's all right, right, captain? matt: "we'll set some of-- one of our men on guard.all right! pick him up. throw him in the hole." two of the crewmen come behind and pick him up,and kind of lean over the shoulder, like, "ooh, thank you. thank you very much, all of you."and he gets dragged off down below into the ship. liam: byeee. marisha: bye. laura: captain, have you heard of the tempest fang? matt: "i've heard a thing or two."
laura: oh, really? taliesin: is it a pirating vessel? matt: "i was gonna let him finish hiswhole diatribe before we had a conversation, "but he's one of 18 working companies out of thearchipelago, so--" travis: i believe it's arch-i-pelago. sam: sea diarrhea! travis: jot this down! (horn noises) liam: that was sudden!
taliesin: and the tension is relieved. marisha: so, wait. if he works for one of 18companies of the archipelago, that means the archipelago has pirates-- laura: -- 17 other companies. marisha: 17 other pirate ships? matt: pirate companies. it's a very-- some of themhave alliances, some of them have very, very deep-rooted rivalries, and yeah. taliesin: the companies themselves have more thanone ship, if i recall. matt: some of them do, depending on the size.
marisha: wait, did we just sink one of the other17 companies of the archipelago? travis: is there any extensive damage to our ship?are we still pretty good, other than the railing getting ripped off? matt: "looking around, my crewmen tell me we'redoing all right. so we'll do some repairs when we "drop off at your location. once you do yourbusiness, we'll have some time to go ahead and do "a once-over of our ship." taliesin: i may have some charts that i stole fromthe other ship, as well. laura: oh, yeah. i put them in the bag of coldingfor the time being. pull it out. matt: okay. glancing about, a lot of them are mapsof portions of the archipelago, the hespit
archipelago, some are markings of various pirateheadquarters, various places of parlay. a lot of them are waterlogged and soaked and damaged,but you can see elements that are-- a lot of them are hand-drawn notes in sections. the leather tubethat you found, you pull it open, and there is a very, very immaculate piece of vellum paper thatappears to have a number of glyphs scrawled across it. laura: shit. do we understand? sam: may i see that? taliesin: sure. sam: i will identify it.
sam: much easier this way. laura: that's great! you can identify things? howmany times a day can you do that? sam: i think all? scroll of programmed illusion.scroll allows an arcane caster to use an action to cast the sixth-level spell programmed illusion.if the spell is higher-level than the caster can use, they must make a spellcastingblah-blah-blah-blah-blah. laura: are you an arcane user? sam: i think i am. taliesin: is this basically like the thing insuperman 2 where lex luthor's playing chess-- travis: in the prison cell?
matt: kind of? matt: you have to look up the spell for thespecifics, but yeah, it's got some interesting uses. sam: are you arcane? laura: so basically it's you. you can use it. sam: am i the only arcane? marisha: yes, i'm a natural caster. you're theonly arcane caster. laura: i mean, hold on to it in case we run intoscanlan again. travis: i am a powerful magician.
laura: or you can use it. travis: and with that, i take out the little gemthing that i pulled off the other ship. sam: ooh! should i identify that? taliesin: you should identify it. marisha: you should. sam: can i, more than once a day? matt: look at the ability. it's the spell-- igotta look. sam: it's the identify spell. matt: yeah, it's a first-level spell.
marisha: all the papers. all the papers in theworld. taliesin: i imagine you're sitting here going-- matt: it's a first-level spell, so as long as youhave a first-level spell slot. sam: oh. laura: oh, i have a spyglass, i didn't even needto ask for captain adella's. sam: it's a ritual, though, is that-- matt: oh, yeah, if you can use it as a ritual,then it won't use a spell slot when you do that. marisha: you just do it, it just takes time. sam: all right. i will ritually identify that.what's that all about?
matt: that is a fog marker. it can be used byholding it a round, but it is generally used to create a 100-foot-wide fog cloud that lasts for anhour when used. sam: do we know how to activate it? matt: to activate it, you have to spend aten-minute period of time concentrating on the orb, and then as it gets moved, it carries the fogcloud with it and lasts for an hour. laura: that's cool. sam: could be useful. laura: super useful. taliesin: at the very least, it could be installedin the ship. they could have it as a possible--
sam: cloaking device? travis: you could put it in the guts of dottie. sam: doty. laura: deedee? marisha: could you do that? taliesin: i don't know. it's not like he'shollow. marisha: in doodie? sam: i mean, he's got a lot of stuff in there. travis: but that's not important, that stuff inthere.
liam: what kind of stuff? taliesin: things. sam: you know. sam: when you have two wheels and some ropes andit makes a pulley system-- travis: okay, no, just give it back to me,i'll put it back in the bag of holding. travis: thanks. taliesin: how big is the orb, out of curiosity? matt: the orb is maybe seven-inch diameter.it's about that big. marisha: it's seven-inch--
matt: yeah, it's about that big. taliesin: interesting. all right. matt: so the ship is still progressing in thatdirection. marisha: can i do a nature check on it? on theorb? matt: to? what do you want to do with the naturecheck? sam: to see if it smells like nature. marisha: did it come from any water ashari,or anything like that? matt: roll a nature check. sam: are you my brother? are you my brother?
marisha: 14? matt: it looks like a magic item. marisha: that's awesome. that's cool. taliesin: does it have smoke inside when you turn it? matt: yeah, when you turn it-- taliesin: like those weird balls filled with weirdsand-- matt: yeah, actually, it kinda looks like that.as you shift it, it swirls on the inside. it causes the air-- intense condensation thateventually drips from the outside of it when it's activated.
laura: cool. marisha: (laughs) outlook cloudy. matt: all right. so as everything rests down inthe ship you can use, you have about a day and a half travel until you're supposed to reach theislands. travis: can i post up outside of the brig wherestabbed-in-the-body mcgee is sleeping? matt: yeah. and as he-- travis: i'll forego my room. i just want to sleepsitting up. liam: do we have rooms? i thought it was like amexcity on this-- laura: no, we have rooms. but they're combined.
matt: yeah, they're clustered, you have manypeople per room. they're like bunks. so yeah, you post outside of the brig. as evening comes,the night passes. is there anything you want to do? you just rest for the night? travis: yeah, just keep the other guard company. travis: just to give him a little expert help. taliesin: we've been tinkering on the ship, so. matt: what have you been tinkering? sam: science-bro stuff. taliesin: science-bro stuff. do we have to tellyou what it is?
matt: to tinker it, so i can give you a dc, yeah. taliesin: so he's got this really cool-- matt: "we tinkered something really cool.did it work?" sure, it succeeds. "we built voltron." taliesin: you were very cagey about knowing whatit is while we were on break, so i didn't know if this was a thing. sam: so, using one of the opals from my helm ofwhatever, brilliance, he wanted to craft a housing for it-- taliesin: so i've built a couple housings forthese opals. so, you pop the opal in, and it will
allow it to create either a concentrated beam-- sam: spotlight. taliesin: spotlight, basically, like a littleflashlight, a radiant beam like a torch-- marisha: floodlight. taliesin: like a floodlight, or while it's onspotlight, it's got a little railroad thing, it's got a little slot that will go in and giveme a little bit of a red vibe, so we can have a low-light red light, and i'm also going to make alittle clip so i can stick it on my gun, so i can have a little spotlight on my gun whenwe're going through a-- liam: it also ensures you cannot get a prom date.
taliesin: hey, i'm doing okay, just saying.percy doing okay. laura: i don't know, you've been tinkering a lotlately. matt: okay, so that's doable. the opal doesn'tperpetually glow-- sam: yeah, it lasts for an hour. is that somethingwe can turn off and on and it lasts for an hour, like a battery, or is it just an hour, it'soff-- taliesin: and then we have to pop a new opal in. matt: generally, you have to pop a new opal in. sam: okay, no problem. taliesin: but you crack the opal, you put it in,it's like one hour of either flashlight,
and then a little blinder to turn it on and off--it's basically like a little train lantern. marisha: i was gonna say, like an old-schoollighthouse. matt: go ahead and roll a tinker check. taliesin: doing this together? sam: can i help him? matt: yes, you would be giving him advantage asyou attempt to do that. so you just roll it twice, percy. taliesin: that was pretty good. sam: did we get two 16s?
taliesin: i got a 19. sam: oh. i got a 16, but i get plus ten with mytinkerer's tools. taliesin: and mine's proficiency bonus and dexbonus on top of that 19? so that's 30. matt: between the two of you guys, it is not anissue. even with your limited materials, but your travel-tinkering capabilities-- youmanage to deftly create this seamless, beautiful, you could sell it on the street. taliesin: so they can-- we may even make a littleheadband so they can pop it on. sam: sure, sure. matt: (laughs) you guys are so cute. all right.
marisha: i spend my evening reconnecting withvax. sam: the hallmark card way of saying fucking. taliesin: well, there goes our sponsor byhallmark. matt: yeah, thanks. sorry, hallmark. liam: it's a couple days-- we've been travelingfor a while, right? matt: it was three days before this encounter,you have a day and a half left. liam: and has a day passed since that fight? liam: no, this is that night? laura: this is that night, yeah.
matt: this is the evening afterward. taliesin: i'll see if i get my charges back. marisha: i don't want to say i feel like i'm beingreplaced. you know? it's not that. it's just that percy's kinda found a new friend. liam: you're losing some friends. taliesin: we're not hanging out all the time,we're being social. marisha: no, it's not that. i'm a good friend,right? liam: oh hi, percy. sam: i was going to say we're being social.
taliesin: i'm sorry, i'm sorry. you guys aren't there. i got distracted. matt: no, you guys are busy tinkering. you two are having a conversation where vax is trying to console keyleth's suddenfriendship crisis. sam: oh! oh! you've got a little smudgeright there. marisha: i mean, i know i can't-- liam: you're missing your friendo time, i understand. marisha: i can't fulfill every need. liam: we hear them laughing from theirroom. taliesin: (snorts)
matt: it is a very thin wall. travis: yes, snorting. sam: and it was the metric system! sam and taliesin: (exaggerated laugh) marisha: i will never know what the metric system means. i don't know what that is. liam: they're both, you know, really special and-- marisha: i'm still a good friend, right? i'm stilla good friend? marisha: am i a good friend? liam: yeah. you're his best friend.
liam: yeah, that's just new-- liam: -- and those two have nevermet-- marisha: no, i know. liam: -- a nerd as pure as the other. sam: (laughs) marisha: i know i told them to like, bond but now-- i mean (sighs). no, it's fine, it's fine. i'm cool. i'm cool. liam: you're more than cool. marisha: i've missed you.
liam: (chuckles) hi. marisha: hi. (crying sounds) liam: i dry the tears away. do you know-- marisha: (tearfully) new guy and the new guydynamic! and i don't know what the new guy'schemistry's like! liam: do you know what's really cool, though? we'renot on the verge of death every fucking day right now. marisha: (tearfully) that's true. liam: yeah, you know, pluses and minuses. marisha: (tearfully) i'm glad the new guy's theworst of our problems.
liam: come here, you. marisha: (tearfully) i just love percy so much. liam: i know, i know. matt: aw. liam: i know. matt: an evening of consoling and the rest of youguys get your evening's rest, you outside the brig, uneventful. laura: i did want to talk, but that's okay. taliesin: i get that.
laura: i can talk later. matt: oh, did you want to talk? go for it. go for it. travis: (burps) liam: go interrupt the party. laura: yeah no, i was going to. taliesin; well, i was going to say, you're welcome.we're finishing up, you're welcome in. marisha: (sobs) laura: oh! only when you're finishing up. taliesin: well, i don't know when you were--we obviously did it.
sam: we built our-- taliesin: i love that so much, it's so-- travis: wow, wow. liam: did it? taliesin: yeah, we put the whole thingtogether. liam: put the whole thing? taliesin: the whole thing put together. matt: phrasing. liam: sure, yeah.
marisha: man, you're going for it. matt: you hear, as you guys are finishing up,you hear a knock at the door. travis: cleaning up your-- laura: hello? taliesin: yes! come in. laura: is it filled with smoke in here? marisha: (laughs) laura: oh, hi tary. i didn't see you. sam: we were welding.
laura: fun! exciting! on a boat, even. wow. taliesin: it's relatively safe. laura: so! what'd you make? taliesin: (sighs) can i crack one? sam: let's do it. sam: oh wait, we're using one? taliesin: we're using one. sam: all right, sure. why not? it's 1000gold, but okay, sure. taliesin: it's his father's money.
matt: (crack, dink) as he flicks the opal, it gives off a bright equivalent of the light spell. sam: daylight. matt: daylight! i'm sorry. this is-- sam: the power of the sun. laura: that's powerful. matt: basically, there's a sun in the roomsuddenly (crackle). taliesin: wait. laura: oh wow, you guys made a--
matt: you're literally blinded for a moment. matt: your eyes just go (crackle). taliesin: we put it in the box, contain it. sam: well, wait, open it just a little bit. sam: and then i'm gonna take my helm of brillianceand just put one of the diamonds up to the laser beam like light coming out so it makeslike a dazzling light across the-- matt: it's a beautiful prism, which you'reable to see in about 40 seconds. laura: it's a lot, it's just a lot of spots right now, but i'm sure. laura: eventually. oh! pretty. um, get out.you, not you. if you don't mind.
sam: i don't at all. laura: i mean, of course you can stay-- taliesin: get out. it's okay. sam: i have a lot of dictation to do. taliesin: out, out, out, out, out. laura: (quietly) hi. taliesin: and i boot him out. oh hi, thank god. and-- laura: so, percy. taliesin: yes, dear?
laura: i've been meaning to bring somethingup to you. taliesin: yes? laura: at the risk of bringing up scanlan again-- laura: something i'd rather ignore. taliesin: yes, me too. laura: when he left, he said something that caughtmy ear, which was that he heard. he heard pike and his daughter, calling to him. taliesin: yes. laura: from the other side. which is strange really, because when i was on the other side,
i don't remember hearing anything. what aboutyou? taliesin: okay. i'm gonna sit down and open up abottle. laura: busting out the courage again? taliesin: the courage, i think, is long gone at this point. taliesin: i'm going for the tear whiskey, fuck ittake a swing, and i pass. laura: mm. taliesin: i was not in a good place, i was-- what i am choosing to describe as great motivation to live a long life. there was pain and sound and i've tried hard not to think about creating words to articulate it, but it was the feeling of being--it was not pain without end, it felt like pain
that would have an end because eventually therewould be nothing left of me. i felt consumed. and yes, i heard.it was the only thing i heard. yes. i know you well enough to know-- trying not to embarrass you, but-- laura: all right. taliesin: -- yes. laura: i'm not embarrassed. taliesin: well, i would've, honestly--i would've never hoped otherwise. you're far too wonderful for an idiot. taliesin: so (sighs), but i'm more hopeful. i'm not quite as fearful of whether-- i'm worrying
less about what may happen when i die again and if i'm going to go back there. laura: well, that's good. i would hopehe's not waiting on the other side for you. taliesin: i hope not either, and-- laura: what about when you were killed by raishan? taliesin: that was quick. it was fine, but it was quick, so i'm not sure if that means anything yet. i've overthought this quite a bit and i don'tknow if you care to hear too many of my fears in this direction, but, i do think about it. laura: you can always tell me your fears, percy. taliesin: where do the people i kill go? i know you don't have an answer,
i don't have an answer either, but-- laura: i don't, i suppose it depends on them, doesn't it? taliesin: does it? or does it depend on me? ordoes it now depend on this thing? laura: you don't think they were doomed to sufferthe same fate that you were? taliesin: maybe. i don't know, maybe i keepfeeding it every time-- taliesin: i don't quite know how to find out, other than i had a moment where i thought about shooting someone, bringing them back and asking them. taliesin: there was a moment i thought about shooting someone. well, if it comes to it, it's something i've had
in my back pocket as killing two birds with onestone. laura: maybe we can just try that onsomeone who we already need to kill. taliesin: that's my thought. laura: right. taliesin: and, i worry about what all of this is doing to us, but at the same time, i have such faith in-- ihave such faith in you and keyleth, and occasionally grog, and occasionally yourbrother. laura: (laughs) are you listening? taliesin: (laughs) but i'm starting towonder if this is what all those heroes i read
about when i was young, if this is what they felt,is just a lot of getting very comfortable with not knowing and being nervous and wondering ifyou're really just the villain of someone else's story. laura: i'm sure that's how they feel. no one's ever sure they're doing the rightthing. taliesin: but i did hear you, sorry to-- idid hear you and sorry that i didn't say. laura: no, it's all right. takes the pressureoff, really, knowing that you know. taliesin: i treasure every minute, and you remindme to not be so serious. laura: yes. so serious.
taliesin: i'm not saying that you're notserious but-- (sighs) laura: (exasperated voice) you can go play with tary some more if you like. taliesin: i'm done with tary for the evening. laura: great! then you can play withme! taliesin: and crossing the whiskey off theinventory. matt: off the-- yeah. matt: all right, as the evening-- travis: amazing. matt: -- the evening comes to a close, the next day's journey is met
with a coming cloudfront, does not appear to bestorm-bearing clouds but the clear skies seem to have come to an end. marisha: i'm restless inall of my night's sleep as we get closer. matt: mm-hm. as the next day comes to a close,the sun setting, you hear a call from the top of the crow's nest that shouts out, "landho!" laura: we go running up. matt: you guys all catch up and you can see-- liam: (quietly) you got this. marisha: (groans)
matt: -- just as the last bit of sunlit glow behind the clouds begins to fade into darkness, you see ahead the gentle shape of islands justbreaking the horizon ahead, and one by one, little lights (click click click) coming on. marisha: i rush to the bow of the ship. matt: as you come up to the bow of theship, you can see at this point now, captain adella is starting to shout off to the side, "keep it all high!" and is currently movingaround and you see there are three guys at the front who all have lanterns out and they'rewatching the water below and they're shouting out, "five to the right!" and they're giving differentdegrees and she's navigating through what looks to
be a channel of reefs, as you glance over theedge. and you can see there are pathways here, but it looks like a lot of this water is verydangerous water and eventually you get to a point where one of them shouts, "stop! stop!" and theyimmediately throw down the sails and someone throws the anchor off the side and the ship(crunching) comes and slams to a halt as the anchor clicks and you can feel it grinding for abit as it catches the edge of one of-- it looks like a reef below, but the ship eventually stopsas you glance over, there maybe 15 feet away from hitting the edge of a reef. (grinding sound) itstops and the water (whistling) slowly comes to rest as the ship comes to a rest. looking over theedge, you can see the water maybe about 20 or so feet down with what little bit of light thelanterns have put over, you can see the very top
of various reef cliffs and hints of beach shelfbeginning to rise up towards this cluster of almost like still fairy lights in the distance,unmoving. captain adella comes up to the edge of the ship and goes, "well, that's about as far aswe can get with this ship. my apologies." marisha: no, this is fantastic.and i run to the edge of the ship and i shoot a daylight into the spell and throw a create waterand make a rainbow over top of us. matt: wow. marisha: (tch boom) ooh. matt: so with that(pffff) the spray of vapor in the air of the night
sky, the darkness ahead of you that wascurrently-- the clouds obscuring any sort of starlight, suddenly is showered with a spray ofvibrant colors across the entire spectrum, as the vapor slowly cascades around each side ofthe ship. as it does, a few moments pass and you watch more lights spark open in the distance (puffpuff puff puff puff) whatever the source is, you begin to get a clearer view and there you canjust barely begin to see the edges of what appear to be a very, very faint outline of a number ofbuildings all springing up from the water itself. travis: (quietly) oh shit. matt: the city is not on one of the islands, the city is in the center of them, there's a triangulation of these land masses and the city itself resides between all three.
sam: (quietly) wow. matt: some of the guys in the front of the ship start taking small rowing boats and taking them up and latching them in and setting them off the side into the more shallow waters below. marisha: i run past all of them and just jump into the water, not gracefully like before and startswimming. (all groan) marisha: perception check? laura: we're at a reef! liam: don't face-plant on a reef!
marisha: fine. ooh! taliesin: there is now! liam: i'm on a reef. marisha: oh that's just a dexteritycheck? matt: no, perception. sam: perception. marisha: oh, perception. 28. matt: you run to the edge and right as you'reabout to leap, you look and realize there's relatively shallow reef in the direction you're about to leap,
so you kinda turn and (laughs) go at an angle instead and (plop) into the water below. marisha: (nervous sounds) matt: a second, almost a second after you,the ship (cracks) hits the water below and they start throwing down the rope ladder and you guysare allowed to then step into the rowboat. laura: broom. taliesin: carpet? matt: you have the broom. or carpet if you like? marisha: i just start-- taliesin: i'm gonna get on the carpet andoffer it to anybody who likes.
marisha: using my cantrips-- travis: well, i need the boat 'cause i'mheavy. taliesin: what about the boat? sam: i want to be on the flying carpet,'cause that's amazing. laura: trinket will get in a boat with grog. liam: what are you doing? laura: no! trinket's gonna be in my necklace. matt: all right. trinket goes in the necklace. laura: yeah, for a minute.
liam: hopping on behind my sister. matt: okay, so your sister, you guys are taking the carpet-- matt: -- grog, you're going in the boat? travis: i got my own rowboat. taliesin: with a robot. robot in the-- sam: oh yeah! the robot is-- travis: no. dottie is not coming with me. taliesin: dottie is coming with you. sam: well, he can come on the--
laura: no, he can't. it's too heavy. it's too heavy for the carpet. taliesin: doty cannot come on the carpet. matt: it's too heavy to go on the carpet. sam: i have to stay behind with doty. taliesin: yeah well, have fun. travis: yep, see you later. laura: get him on a boat.get on a boat, tary. sam: is there another rowboat for us? matt: they have other rowboats onthe side, you can request another one.
sam: i would like to request another rowboatfor doty. marisha: (laughing) a boat for doty. matt: okay, so as you guys begin making yourway, roughly five minutes behind you, as you all are kinda moving forward together via carpet, flight,and her swimming, and grog strongly pushing his way through, tary's just impatiently waiting forthem to get the other boat off the side of the ship and they're slowly lowering it down,kind of the ropes having to adjust as it goes and you're like (groans). travis: i see adventure over this way! too bad you won't be there to see it!
sam: i'm missing it, hurry up! matt: as you guys begin to approach, keyleth, yourfeet eventually hit sand as opposed to treading water, and as you begin to walk up, the watercomes past your waist, down to eventually your knees, and that is aboutas low as it goes. marisha: as far as it goes, yeah. matt: and looking out above you, you can see this beautiful lagoon that iscompletely submerged in about a foot, foot and a half of water for a good mile in all directions.and you can see dozens and dozens of these grecian looking white and green marble structuresthat rise up out of the water. you can see a
series of poles that stand up holding theselanterns that have all been magically set alight to give the city a sort of a glow. you see shapesmoving, you see figures shifting out of these buildings and making their way in your direction,and as you're looking at this space in front of you and you guys begin to kind of meet up,you watch as a figure (whoosh) out of the water next to keyleth. you glance to your left and lookdown and you see what appears to be a child, maybe about 13 years old, human-like, though hisears come to a bit of a finned appearance. you can see what looks to be gill slits to theside of the neck, and he looks up at you with kind of a tattered, long-stiffened piece of cloth tunicand shorts that end at the knee,and he kinda looks up at you and just kinda smiles with these very,very bright, orange-ish yellow eyes,
"hi." marisha: kaitiaki. and i drop to my kneesand drop down and-- matt: (sploosh) you go face-down into thewater. marisha: gah! (heavy breathing) matt: get up and (groans) push the water--the hair back a bit. marisha: and bow again. matt: okay. "um... what are you doing?" marisha: sorry, are you theleader-- are you the headmaster? matt: "yes. yes, i am."
marisha: oh! hi. uh, keyleth. matt: "keyleth. " and he reaches out and grabs your hand. "yulan." marisha: yulan! matt: "leader of the water ashari." marisha: i am keyleth, daughter of vilyaand korren of the air ashari, and i am here to complete my aramente.and i bow again, under the water. matt: (splash) into the water again. matt: he shakes his head, you can see nowhe has these tossed medium-length dreadlocks that shake with his head as he turns side to side,(laughs) he looks up at the rest of you,
"so! she yours?" laura: mm. mm-hm. taliesin: more or less. matt: "you bad people?" laura: uh-uh. taliesin: nah. travis: not today. sam: we're just rowing up. what'd i miss?! startover, start over! (pants) matt: "is he a bad person?"
laura: nah. liam: nah. he's all right. taliesin: he's workable. matt: "okay. well, come with me." and he reachesout and taps you on the shoulder, keyleth. marisha: (gasp) it's just such an honor. matt: come on. laura: keyleth! matt: he grabs your hand and pulls you up out ofthe water, and starts running in towards the city, holding you behind him. just kinda tugging you bythe hand.
laura: oh, he has legs? matt: he does have legs. laura: man! taliesin: and he does know how to use them. travis: keyleth! matt: splash, splash, splash splash splashsplash... travis: be cooler. marisha: cooler. cooler. (blows) and i let alittle frost go from my breath. matt: (blows) okay. splash, splash, splash splashsplash splash splash. he's just running through
the water. you can see a number of people have nowstepped out of the buildings as you guys approach. and each one of them-- all of their clothing endsat the knee. you can see that this entire society walks through and lives partially submerged. there is an ever-present water element to theirday to day life. laura: they must have the pruniest feet! marisha: -- feet. marisha: i know, right? liam and matt: (laughs) travis: that was amazing.
i would live there in a second! taliesin: how did that happen just now? how didyou just go there? matt: the sand is soft and still strangely warmbeneath your feet, though the night has come. and even through the distant sparkles of lighteverywhere, this city-- a lot of the buildings seem hollow and open,like what walls that there are, there's large windows. it seems like everything has this verykind of open-air, free lifestyle to it. and as you begin to approach-- marisha: as he's dragging me, i just start, like,rambling all the questions at once. i'm like, aren't-- this is such a gorgeous city you have.are you freshwater or saltwater? do you have
webbed feet? does everyone have webbed feet? howmany people can control water? wow, look at that. look at those. is this fire that you use? or isit all arcane? matt: he's not answering any of your questions,and you hear a voice shout out: "yulan!" matt: and the boy kinda stops and drops your handand backs away with his hands kinda crossed behind his back, and he steps away, bowing his head alittle bit and (splashing noise) away. the crowd-- and you can now see, all these different people,most of them appear to be human, elven, there are a handful of dwarves, a couplehalflings, it's a spread of races here. you see two half-orcs that have these large tridents offto the side, and they're guarded but they're all deciding whether or not this is a welcomingcircumstance, or a careful parlay. the voice that
rang out, the crowd parts a little bit, and youwatch as the water around you guys begins to spiral into these columns. each one appears to besimilar to the entity you saw rise onto the ship. a series of water elementals begin to rise out ofthe water, as some of the individuals in the crowd pull their hands together, and then you see fourof them rise and begin to circle. not closing in, but just keeping very close vigil around.and you realize at this point that, while the city is welcoming, they are also a carefullyguarded people. the crowd parts, and you see stepping out, with the tiniest of splashes,a very tiny woman. old, shriveled, most of her hair is gone and these thin wisps of white andgray, a wide oval-like head, the skin itself an olive yellow tint. very wrinkled and pruny,the eyes are almost these tiny little black
beads. gnome, very old, with a long staff that'stwice her height that just kinda with each step (squishing splash) kinda like a weird female waterashari yoda. and just kinda steps forward through the water-- marisha: rad! matt: "yulan, you are not to greet our guests! now,you. what is your name?" marisha: hi. (clears throat) kaitiaki, i amkeyleth, daughter of vilya and korren of the air ashari, and i am here to complete my aramente.i am-- matt: "kaitiaki." marisha: kaitiaki. i am honored to be in yourpresence.
matt: "i am uvenda, heart of the tides here.i had my own aramente, long ago. and i knew your "mother who came for her aramente, as well." marisha: you knew my mother? matt: "she came here for her own aramente. "and now you come to complete what she could not.so--" marisha: i'm-- i'm-- matt: "-- you are welcome, keyleth of thezephra." marisha: i'm sorry. i'm-- sorry, that just meansshe visited the earth, and the fire, and the water ashari. she completed her aramente.
matt: "she did not, child." marisha: what hap-- she-- i-- everywhere i'vebeen, she's been. why not? matt: "come. come. we shall speak, there is muchto discuss, and it is growing cold out here, "and you could probably all use a warm fire.so? see to our guests!" and the folks around go from their tense reverie and begin to approach andtake, like just instinctually taking your belongings, and helping you unload. you guys(laughs) withdraw, and they back off as soon as they realize that wasn't part of the circumstance.but you are led deeper into this city, and there is a central temple that has multi-layers.three floors with a number of spiral staircases on the outside of the structure that lead to it.each floor is still very open and you get the
sense that this whole city is built around theflow of ocean air and sea spray. and there is almost like a constant breeze that just blowsthrough. and a lot of the buildings are rounded at the edges. the heavy waves and water that justcome through here has-- you can see rounded and brought curvature to all the structures for aslong as the city's been around. there are elements of shell-type shapes, there are bits of oceaninspiration to the architecture, it's a very interesting, alien, and beautiful place comparedto where you've been before. you're led into this temple structure in the center of this city,you're brought to a series of what look almost like tree stumps, but they're made of a bright,bleached white, almost spongy material. and as you sit on them, food is brought to you,fish, fresh cooked platters. you guys are now
being treated like honored guests, as you arrive.as you sit down, keyleth, uvenda, has a servant bring a much taller sponged stool than the onesyou guys have, and it's set in front of you, and she uses her staff and (grunts) pole-vaultson top of it, and sits, crosses her legs, and sets the staff off to somebody and kindaleans down with her hands in front, her chin resting on them, her little beady gnomish eyeslooking down at you. "so, keyleth, the aramente is not easy." marisha: i know. matt: "do you know what this leg of your journeyentails?" marisha: i mean, i've made it this far. in myheart, i feel like i'm almost complete, but i feel
like you're about to tell me something different. matt: "you are near the completion of thearamente, this is true, and through this, "you will learn the strength of utilizing your owncapabilities and those of your trusted allies. "you will learn various ways of looking at thedifficulties and challenges that are before you. "and there are lessons as part of this, so listencarefully. for the final leg of your aramente, "we will wait 'til the morning sun comes to thesewaters, "you and your compatriots will be brought downbelow the waves, below this city, to the aerie of "torrent, where the vesrah rift resides to thewater elemental plane. the aerie is where we "implant the lodestones that keep the village fromsinking, and the rift size contained. the
"lodestones, unfortunately, do wane in power overtime, so we must occasionally cross into the rift, "and have our fastest waverunners recoverreplacements within the elemental plane. "the source of the lodestones, in which wehave built and maintained this city. but "the once-challenging path to these lodestones hasnow become deadly for all but our swiftest." marisha: why? matt: "we would find these stones sparselyscattered throughout the plane, just beyond the "rift, leaving us uncertain of their origin for aslong as we've been here. for generations, "they would just fall and sink to the bottom,or we'd scavenge them from the silt and sand "below. however, this last generation of waverunners have discovered them to be a product.
"natural waste of a particular creature thatresides within the boundless oceans of the plane. "an ancient beast, once guided upon creation bythe titans that claimed this world their own "before the gods came and gave light to oursouls." marisha: what's it called? matt: "they are known in many languages,by many names, "but the common tongue knows to them as the krakens." laura: (yells) marisha: (yells) sam: (scared panting)
travis: (excited hyperventilation) matt: "humongous, tentacled beasts, long free oftheir servitude from their creators. one of these "such krakens has taken to the waters near therift, and made it its home on the other side. "and this beast appears to have been producing thelodestones that we relied on for ages. this "research, and information they've gathered,however, garnished the attention of this terrible "fiend, and was accidentally led directly to therift where it now nests, and feeds on the other "creatures naturally drawn to the energy of thetear between the worlds. we now use the lodestones "and our powers not only to control the merging ofthe planes at the rift, but to also prevent this "monstrosity from crossing over into our world andtearing our city asunder. your task--"
marisha: so-- matt: she puts a finger out to stop you."--would be to descend into this aerie of "torrent, enter the rift, and recover three ofthese lodestones, and return to us. that is all. "avoid the beast if possible, for to battle it isfolly, and to kill it is to sink our city, "and curse the rift, to eventually fade." marisha: so, don't kill it? laura: do. not. kill. got it. marisha: don't kill the kraken. right? don't killthe kraken? travis: no, kill the kraken.
liam: get kraken. sam: we can reason with it. marisha: get three lodestones, bring it back,don't kill him because he is responsible for you guys not sinking into the ocean. laura: because he makes the lodestones. sam: with his poop? liam: poopstones. marisha: he makes the lodestones-- laura: basically.
sam: poops lodestones. marisha: -- with his droppings? matt: "essentially, yes." matt: "to use such base terms." marisha: all right. so he drops these lodestonesat the base of the water plane. matt: "yes. often found within the vicinity of therift, but such is the beast. be quick, be careful, "be stealthy, and return as soon as you havethem." marisha: do you have an example of theselodestones so that we know what we're lookingfor?
matt: "we will show you at the aerie tomorrow inthe morning." marisha: all right. so this starts in the morn--which is exactly what you said. you totally said that, didn't you? matt: "yes. yes, i have." laura: is there something that helps those of uswho don't breathe underwater breathe underwater? marisha: i can handle that. laura: yes? marisha: i can handle that. so. what happened tomy mother? matt: she swallows strongly. "your mother was abrave woman, very much like you, now that i see
"you before me. unsure of herself, and wishing toplease, and not disappoint. and it's hard to "ascertain but i fear it's perhaps that lack ofconfidence that may have caused her failure." marisha: did she not make it out? of the waterplane? matt: "she brought her own companions, that shehad found and brought with her along her path. "our guides brought her to the rift, and hercompanions did not survive. your mother did not "return, and we sent scouts to try and retrieve herbody so she could be interred correctly, "but we only found a leg." marisha: she's still alive. that means she's stillalive. matt: "hold onto that hope. use it, and finishwhat she started. she lives through you at the
"very least. hold that memory." marisha: i will hold on to it, but i hope you knowthat does not define me. i'm not her. matt: "good. then perhaps you have a chance." marisha: we'll complete your task. thank you. matt: "you've come far, young keyleth. i havefaith that you will rise, and become the voice of "the tempest. for now, we rest. eat. sleep.for tomorrow, you face the pet of the titans." and that's where we'll leave tonight's session. travis: we're gonna kill a kraken! marisha, liam, and laura: no!
marisha: kill a kraken! sam: no, don't kill a kraken. marisha: right, we're not gonna kill a kraken. marisha: we are going to not kill it. taliesin: we are going to irritate a kraken. laura: we are going to-- taliesin: we are going to make it-- travis: holy shit! laura: -- we're going to steal some kraken'spoop.
travis: i have no idea what that means. marisha: we're gonna collect kraken droppings. travis: i don't know what a kraken is like ind&d, but i'm fucking stoked to find out. taliesin: we're gonna bring a bottle of kraken. marisha: we're gonna bring a bottle of kraken. marisha: oh, i'm so gonna bring a bottle of krakennext game! matt: yeah! laura: (excited shouting) taliesin: you know what else we're gonna do? we'renot gonna finish it.
marisha: we're not gonna finish it. travis: yeah, we're not gonna finish it. marisha: that's game, we do not finish it. matt: that's kind of perfect. laura: we're gonna drink most of it. liam: (chuckles) taliesin: we're gonna drink most of it, but we'renot gonna kill the kraken. marisha: except for like one-fourth of it. taliesin. don't. 'cause we don't kill the kraken.
marisha: we let it live. liam: we're gonna give that thing some maylox.(proot fart sound) taliesin: don't kill the kraken. travis: nice job, matt! matt: nice job, you guys. travis: nice c! taliesin: good game. good game. laura: c! matt: all right. we'll bring this up next week onthursday for the last leg of keyleth's aramente--
sam: hey. matt: -- as the party might face a kraken! laura: oh my goodness! matt: that'll be interesting. liam: one of 17. travis: yo momma is the kraken. marisha: that's what i'm most afraid of! laura: oh my god! marisha: i've already thought about it.
taliesin: long john silver! travis: wow. no, no, no, no. marisha: that she's the full long john silver. taliesin: she's gonna go pirate, she's gonna havea patch and a beard-- marisha: and a peg leg! taliesin: -- and a peg leg. marisha: she totally has a peg leg. laura: ew. taliesin: and like a little cuttlefish instead ofa instead of a parrot.
laura: rad! marisha: my mom's a pirate! laura: definitely. liam: (singing) taliesin: (joins singing) marisha: (joins singing) sam: that is not the key at all. travis: oh god, get us out of here. taliesin: no.
matt: all righty, guys. matt: we'll pick up next week on thursday.(laughs) thank you so much for watching. thank you again, tor books, for sponsoring. sam: (incoherent background noise) tor books,toy boats, tor books. liam: tor books. matt: wyrmwood for being awesome. we're gonna goahead and rest. oh, i forgot to mention. i will be on the rollplay live anniversary gameon saturday. i'm actually flying up to canada to go play with them in person. so-- matt: i'm gonna be jumping in for one episode ofthe swan song series.
travis: are you gonna play? matt: that will be fun. yeah! i get to play! sam and liam: in canada? matt: up in canada, yeah. sam: each d20 is actually worth 22 up there. taliesin: is that where you have to rollbackwards? taliesin: you roll backwards there? matt: yeah, that's how it works. marisha: and, as always, don't forget to watchtalks machina on tuesday--
laura: on tuesday! matt: with brian. marisha: with brian foster! matt: that will be fun. marisha: at 7pm. liam: matt's always talking about his campaign upin canada, i'm not sure if it's real or not. marisha: what are you talking about, guys? matt: it is real! marisha: this is fine.
matt: it's real! laura: totally real. marisha: this is great! matt: anyway. have a wonderful night, guys.rest well. laura, get up early. laura: i know! matt: i'm sorry. is it thursday yet?
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