matt: hello, everyone, and welcometo tonight’s episode of critical role, where a bunchof us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play dungeons & dragons and occasionallyget shivved by a rakshasa. laura and ashley: no! matt: occasionally.ashley: go away. matt: so! before we go aheadand jump into the game tonight, let’s go ahead and doa couple quick announcements. first and foremost,returning again this week,
our sponsor loot cratefor bringing this episode to you guys. for those who are familiar with it,and most of you are at this point, but loot crate isa monthly subscription box service. they have awesome geek-related gearand merchandise and clothing, a lot of them exclusive to the box.you get $20 a month to get 6-8 items that include licensed gear, apparel,collectible, all that fun-ness, but you also get a $3 discount if you go ahead and sign upat lootcrate.com/criticalrole and enter the key phrasecriticalrole - one word -
into that new subscription code box. they also have a dx box, which is bigger,awesome for the super-collector out there. which has a bunch(indistinct music in background) of really awesome exclusive content. plays awesome musicfrom ashley’s phone. ashley: that’s true,you all get my phone if you get it. matt: this month’s dystopia boxeswill be shipping out soon to those of you guys who subscribed, and loot crate will be announcingtheir next box tomorrow, 6/24.
travis: yeah, they will!matt: so look forward to that - matt: - and you’ll see whattheir next theme is, which will be nice. laura: how - you were already here!matt: sam! come on in, sir. marisha: you’re here,you’re still coming in. matt: you were on timeand you’re still somehow late. sam: nobody told methat the show was starting. matt: it’s 7:00! it’s crazy. sam: oh, that's right.laura: oh, that’s how it works. matt: so yeah. the links are in the chat.
check it out if you’re interestedin signing up for loot crate. we hope to make ita little bit cheaper for you. so, there. we got that. the critical role t-shirt design contesthas been live for a while. laura: there are so many good pieces.marisha: oh man, so many good ones. matt: it’s going to be ridiculous. i’m not looking forwardto having to choose. marisha: yes, i know,it’s going to be tough. travis: stick figures for the win.
matt: but yeah, it closes june 24th, guys.this friday at midnight. so go ahead and get them in;you got one more day for the most part, a little over a dayto get those last entries in and we’ll announce those winners soon. remember, you have to be 18 or older to enter, or you can have a guardian enter - laura: we choose the top three, right?and then the critters get to - matt: the critters choose the last one.sam: but you can already vote. laura: yeah, i don’t understandhow that’s working,
because we’re choosing the top three, and then the critters get to choosebetween the ones that we choose. marisha: i think it’s supposed to belike how our congress is supposed to work, sam: they’re choosing representatives? marisha: yeah, exactly.laura: i understand. marisha: we’ll see what you want -laura: and disregard it completely. marisha: we’ll disregard it completelyand just make our own choice. matt: we’re just all notin the room where it happens. all: (singing) i wanna bein the room where it happens,
the room where it happens,the room where it happens. matt: oh god, we’re those people. sorry. anyway, that ends tomorrow.you have to be 18 or older to enter, but you can have a guardian enteron your behalf if you’re a young artist. fantastic news. next up, our postersthat we put up last week. all: oh! matt: really excited about those,done by the awesome joe mad. those are still on sale.
we have one more week onlyfor the exclusive cast-signed posters, and then two weeks for the pre-orderfor the regular poster. go check it outat the geek & sundry shop if you’re interested.the artwork is amazing. travis: they’re so pretty!ashley: they're just so pretty! matt: pretty sick, movie poster-sized.travis: i want it in a frame. ashley: they’re so pretty in person. liam: in person, they look aboutten times more vibrant - liam: - than the images i saw.sam: just like us!
matt: mostly sam, though.you can’t help but be so vibrant. (funny voice)i just spilled on my groin. i don’t know why i felt likesaying that out loud. so those are the posters.check them out at shop.geekandsundry.com/collections/criticalrole. starting tomorrow,we have the mda stream. geek & sundry’s doinga fantastic 24-hour charity stream. they’ve partnered withamy poehler’s smart girls and nerdist. there’s going to be a variety:game-show, livestream, everything,
benefitingthe muscular dystrophy association. you guys are welcometo come in at any time for as much of it as you can, check out the great programmingwe have set up for you guys. it starts tomorrow at 7pm. there will beno regular programming tomorrow because the crew is going to have tobe setting up and preparing for this actual livestream, but starting at 7pm,it goes on for the next 24 hours.
so look forward to us allbeing sleepless and crazy. we are going to be finishing outthe charity drive saturday evening, starting at 5pm pt here. i’m going to be running a one-shotdeadlands savage worlds game for a few of our castwho are going to be here for that, and i’m excited for thatbecause it’s one of my favorite settings. it’s going to be great! the shirts are available nowif you want to check them out. matt: we have our own -taliesin: right here. critical role.
matt: - charity shirts right there.laura: ooh, it’s beautiful! taliesin: lovely vibrant bluewith a thing on the - laura: all of it,all of it goes to the charity. marisha: yeah, 100%of the proceeds go to - matt: all the proceeds go to mda. ashley: beautiful “turquaz.â€taliesin: “turquaz.†matt: we got that set up. next up, we have tomorrow, we have the next issue,release would we call it,
of dear vox machina. however, it is not necessarilya member of vox machina. this is one that i put togetherthat i think you guys should enjoy. what character could it possibly be? i guess you’ll just haveto check in tomorrow to find out. but that’ll be on geekandsundry.comtomorrow, i think around noon? maybe earlier. i’ll tweet it out. you’ll find outon geek & sundry’s twitter page, but - sam: is it jarrett?
matt: you’ll have to check it out,you’ll have to come find out, but i had a lot of fun writing it. ashley: someonekeeps forgetting to do it. laura: (gasps)you haven’t done it yet? ashley: i keep forgetting.i keep forgetting to do it. and then it comes around,and then... matt: i got you covered.trinket had you covered. matt: you got five more days.ashley: all right, guys, we’ll get there. matt: so yeah, that’s coming up tomorrow.check that out.
we have a new signal boost host.marisha, you want to take that? marisha: a new host!matt: yeah, what you got? marisha: stay tuned for the breakto see who it is, or if you happened to watch ityou already know, but stay tuned for the breakfor the surprise. sam: best kind of surprise. marisha: best kind of surprise.that you’ve already heard about. matt: yeah. and last on my endas far as announcements go, there will be no critical roleofficial episode next thursday
because me and marishawill be in australia at the haven expo, so all you aussiesthat want to come see us then, we’ll be out theredoing panels and talks and meeting a bunch of you guys.it’ll be a lot of fun. however, while we will not be here, there will still be other membersof our fantastic group here that are able to be here next weekto put on whatever you decide to, that’s up to you guys. laura: we’re just goingto hula-hoop for three hours.
travis: it’ll be a surprise.it’s going to be great. we're going to draw on each others' faceswith toothpaste. laura: they’re going to do other things. i’m going to hula-hoopfor three hours straight. matt: laura’s going to hula-hoopfor three hours straight. you heard it here. hold her to it. ashley: she’s really good. travis: yeah, liam’s goingto hold the plank position for 2 hours. liam: oh, that’s easy.
taliesin: it’s the onewhere you lie on your back, right? travis: yep. roll like a turtle.matt: hashtag flat on your back. taliesin: i can do that one.matt: the reverse plank? yeah. matt: so yeah, check it out on twitteras these yahoos figure out what their contentis going to be next week. i’m sure it’s going to be fantastic. we’re going to be watching itfrom australia. i’m excited to seewhat you guys pull together. anyway. that’s all i got.
has anyone else got somethingthey want me to mention? or shall we dive on in? travis: let’s get it! let’s get it!laura: no no no! keep stalling! matt: all righty, then. liam: wait wait wait. liam: i would like to say that i was intobreaking my friends’ hearts before it was cool. (all laugh) matt: sorry about that. without further ado,
let’s go ahead and dive intothis week’s episode of critical role. (spooky ethereal music) (heavy breathing) (roaring) (dramatic music) (gun firing) (crackling flames) matt: welcome back! so. last we left off, vox machina,having returned to vasselheim,
in which vaxand to a lesser extent percy had their own encounterswith the raven queen. vax found seeminglysome catharsis and purpose to his currently-deemed champion positionwith the raven queen. percy discoveredhe’s been broken all along and left slightly slapped in the nuts. but such is the nature of your journey. but you also crafteda metal claw hand for an ally. but as you guys finish upyour business in vasselheim,
you made your wayback to whitestone. while in whitestone,you met up with some old friends, had dinner with allura, kima,the realmseer, gilmore. you guys discussed all the thingsthat you needed to do in the future, some information had been acquiredfrom some of the vestiges, as well as the nature of some of the dragons of the conclave and some discussion was hadon the overall purpose of this recent incursionof dragon destruction. after which, you all went to bed.
while resting, midnight,a visit from gilmore to vax's room after some oil prankery was beset upon each other via grog and vax. gilmore gifted a fine silk robe to vax and requested his presenceto discuss time that has passed. upon changing into the robe, you guys made your waydown the hallway, up the stairs to one of the high balconiesof the west tower of whitestone. upon which gilmore turned,seemingly in some serious displeasure,
and stabbed you with a daggeryou had not seen was there. as the pain set in, you realized perhaps this is notthe gilmore you recall, but a shapeshifting,tiger-like devil entity that you may have pissed offsome time in the past. liam: is it a sports mascot?it's a sports mascot. marisha and taliesin: they're grrreat! matt: that's not sports.travis: wow. matt: not that i'd know.
anyway, let's go aheadand jump in this moment. as the rest of the partyis sleeping soundly, i would like you, vax'ildan - sam: i am not sleeping.matt: you're not sleeping? sam: remember, i saidi was staying up to read my book. matt: to read your book,you're right, you are totally right. well, i'm going to have youroll initiative, if you don't mind. liam: i have a lot of interesting ideas that will go out the windowdepending on this roll, possibly.
travis: we're all watching. liam: i don't like his reaction.i'm going to use luck. i have two lucks left,i'm going to use one of them. (groans) it was on 18and went down. no, 16. matt: 16. all righty. liam: oh, well.it was going to be really interesting. matt: i can only imagine. travis: shit.matt: sorry. travis: thug life glasses come down,joint comes up.
matt: i didn't meanfor it to come off that way, it just - travis: bu-bu-bu-bu-blam, gutshot! sam: play ding dong... liam: it went 18,it hung like a half second... 4. matt: as the surprise round has faded, the gilmore-like entity draws the bladeout of your abdomen, snarls towards you, and the round beginswith the initiative on the rakshasa. marisha: (groans)travis: you got this, you're fine.
sam: wait, refresh us all.is liam - i'm sorry - is vax naked? matt: no, vax is wearinga long silk robe - matt: - and his boots.sam: and what underneath? matt: and that's it.sam: so, he's naked. liam: i'm wearing my boots,because it's cold. i wouldn't go walking barefoot. matt: boots are a given.everything else left behind. sam: no armor. no weapons.laura: remember, he was in his pajamas and gilmore was like, "put this on, i made this for you."
liam: why wouldn't any of ustrust gilmore? or matthew? matt: i'm just telling a story, yo.speaking of stories - sam: but wait!the robe has like a rope tie to tie. sam: you can use that for something!liam: shush! matt: you’re reading your book. so as it draws the blade back,it goes in for a claw towards the face, liam: uncanny dodge? matt: hold on to see if i hit you first.liam: oh, okay. matt: (chuckles) becausethat is going to be a...
matt: 13 to hit. your ac is 15.liam: misses. matt: the claw (whoosh). you duck underneathas it spins around with the dagger and hits you from the other sideas you come up from that. matt: that will be a 19 and does hit you.liam: (funny voice) uncanny dodge? matt: you suffer 5 pointsof piercing damage as the dagger just barely (sssh)cuts across your face. you can feel the little line of bloodbegin to spill down your chin as you hear the growlunder the breath again,
"i will send you to a place you'll never return from." (growls) and is actually going tostay right there. you're up. liam: now i can do my crazy-ass shit.so, out of instinct, the heels click together, the boots go on,the world slows down as i speed up and in that split second,in a millisecond, i think, "he's gone to all this troubleto get me here, "the door behind mecould very well be locked. "also, he knows everything.he knows about whitestone. "if he leaves, he can tell the conclave
"and if i run, he's gone." so instead...he's right in front of me, yeah? okay. i would like to grapple him. matt: okay. all right.go ahead and make an athletics check. liam: okay. last luck of the day. 14. matt: 16 you attempt to grapple and as soon as your armsreach around the rakshasa,
hotis breaks away. liam: okay.that's action number 1. action number 2,i'd like to grapple him. liam: no good. laura: well, say it, he might roll less. liam: huh? say what? laura: isn't it a roll against a roll? matt: yes, it's a roll against a roll.liam: it's a 7. matt: 17. sorry.
liam: okay,i will cast lay on hands on myself. matt: that is an action to do so. liam: that's an action?okay, then... i'll stay where i am. matt: okay. all right. liam: no, sorry! sorry, sorry (mutters). at the top of my lungs i scream,not just in my earring but loud enough for every guardand person in the castle. i scream, "assassins, western towerand the courtyard!
"jenga!" matt: all right. can i have all of you guysroll a perception check? marisha: what aboutthose of us with earrings? laura: to wake us up?sam: i'm awake. matt: you're awake. you hear it. travis: 16. ashley: 17. laura: 26.
marisha: 16. taliesin: 15. matt: all right.many of you jostle awake at the sound of the shoutinginto your ear. you hear a few words come throughin the middle of your consciousness. you hear “tower, west, jenga.â€that's as much as you make out. the first word was enoughto just shake you awake and you're not quite surewhat that word was, but you hear “west tower, jenga,â€and you get the gist of that.
you, however,did hear the full phrase. as you look around you, percy, keyleth, and pike. sam: oh, shit.matt: you aren't alone in your room. travis: (laughing gasp) matt: as climbing through the window,or in percy's - sam: ninjas! matt: - had come inthrough the hallway, you see - taliesin and marisha: ninjas.
matt: - cloaked individuals,blades drawn up in the air, about to come downonto your asleep forms, as you suddenly look upand see the figure there before you - marisha: motherfucking ninjas! matt: - they look surprisedto see you suddenly move. i need all of you guys to roll initiativeto add to this initiative order. travis: all 3 or everybody else?laura: everybody? matt: everybody. marisha: oh my god.ooh! that's not bad.
travis: have advantage.taliesin: that'll do. travis: 18. ashley: 8! travis, laura, and matt: (chuckle) laura: (southern drawl) 11. marisha: 17. taliesin: 23. laura: nice. sam: is initiative an ability check?
matt: yeah. sam: then i will inspire myselfon my initiative roll. marisha: yes! matt: you just got that abilityat level 14. sam: yes.matt: so. sam: so i will just say, "come on scanlan.wake up! wake up, man!" sam: oh, it's a 1. sam: no, it's a 7. it's a 7.that brings my initiative to 19.
matt: 19. ashley: "come on, man!" matt: all righty.well, as you all wake up, the initiative round finishesas the attempted assassins do get their roundon the three of you guys. so there is the onethat is up against keyleth right now is going to maketwo short sword attacks on you. marisha: aw, he beat me? matt: yep. well this is -as you guys wake up,
you see them there,and they're finishing their combat round. so that's going to be a 19 to hit. marisha: hits. matt: that hits. okay. you take 9 pointsof piercing damage and make a constitution saving throw. ashley and laura: oh, god.travis: shit. marisha: that can't be good. okay... taliesin: (wordless noise of approval)marisha: 20, total.
matt: okay. you take 12 pointsof poison damage. ashley: with? marisha: on top of i had 9 originally?matt: mm-hm. marisha: right?matt: yep. marisha: okay. so that's... matt: the second strike is going tobe another 19. rolled 12 again. you take another 9 pointsof piercing damage, and i need you to makeanother constitution saving throw. laura: this is so much worsethan i thought it was.
taliesin: goddamn it. marisha: i rolled a natural 19, so 24. matt: you take another 12 pointsof poison damage. sam: how many points? taliesin: wow, that's the good reaction,apparently. marisha: jesus, fuck.he just did 42 points of damage. ashley: what?marisha: in one round. yeah. travis: four-two? four?!marisha: 42! matt: so, the onethat's there before you, percy,
as you're just sitting up out of your bed. that's going to be an -oh, that's a natural 17. 24 to hit. taliesin: if i have an ac of 24,am i fine or no? i mean an ac of 24 -never mind, it hits. matt: it still hits youand and this is assuming also the fact that that you guys were sleepingand not in your full armor, either. taliesin: no, no that hits. no, actually - yeah,i can't do that, can i? fuck.
matt: that's 8 points of piercing damage to you. taliesin: (sighing) yeah... matt: i need you to makea constitution saving throw taliesin: all right. don't be stupid. oh, stupid.that's a natural 1, that's what it is. matt: you suffer 24 pointsof poison damage. as whereas you manageto shrug off the effects, percy, you feel as the short swordstrikes across your flesh the wound that's left openin the front of your long johns
suddenly begins to burn and feels like it's singeing,white-hot fire, like an iron just out of the forgehas been pressed into your chest. the second strike rolls a natural 2.it's going to be a 9. taliesin: nope, that does not hit. matt: this time, you actuallyduck out of the bed as it slams down on the wood,cutting into the side of the bed frame, ending that guy's round. that's going to bring usto the one that is against you, pike.
ashley: okay. matt: so, pike. ashley: yes? matt: first strike on you.that's going to be a 20 to hit. ashley: (chuckles) just hits. matt: though, not wearing your armorat this point in time. laura: how do we knowwhat our ac is? ashley: so what are we, then? matt: your ac would bejust 10 plus your dexterity modifier.
ashley: so it's 11, so that hits. matt: 11. yeah. you suffer 5 pointsof piercing damage and i need you to makea constitution saving throw. 20? matt: all right, yeah. so you take 12 pointsof poison damage and that is going to be 10,so that misses you. ashley: great. matt: yeah. so you take
an additional 12 pointsof poison damage from the last strike. ashley: so 5 plus 12? matt: correct. 17 total, and the second strike goes to hit youand you actually reach over, grab your shield which is sittingon the table by your bed and just (ping)knock the blade nearly out of his hand but deflecting the blow. that brings us to the topof the initiative round now. you guys are all conscious.
some of you are awareof the danger you're currently in. percy you're up first.what are you doing? taliesin: i do keep my small pistolunder my pillow. matt: of course you do. (laughs)yes, you would, percy. taliesin: i don't have access, in theory,to the big gun, the sword, which are under the bedand that would require a thing, and i also don't have access to any of the thingsi could use to reload it, but i do have four shots.
matt: you do.taliesin: okay. where's my room? matt: your room is right here. taliesin: i don't have a window, do i? matt: no, you do not have a window.your room is on the inside travis: what floor are we on? matt: you guys areon the second major floor of the castle. the west tower, as you know,is up this way. the staircase leads upand then spirals up to the west tower. sam: do we know how far?
matt: you haven't -you've maybe explored there a few times. it's between 60 to 70 feet up. sam: we've not been there,we're not familiar with it. matt: percy would bepretty familiar with it. taliesin: yeah, i would. matt: you guys may have gone therehere and there. taliesin: you've seen it.it's not that big a castle, to be honest. marisha: so there are windowsthat they came through? they came in the windows?
matt: these two came in the windows, this one you're not sure,may have come in through other means or through another window. marisha: who are you pointing at? percy's?matt: the one that's in percy's room. marisha: but we have windows.matt: right. marisha: that are open to the outside.matt: yes. taliesin: is minestanding against the door? matt: currently, yes. taliesin: i'm going to tryand shoot him through the door
to see if i can blow him out of my room. taliesin: with trick shot. so.matt: okay. taliesin: trick shotto blow him out of the room, let's... let's... yeah, no, i'm not adding a sharpshooterfor that, fuck that. first shot. oh god, i'm nervous.(high pitched voice) that'll do. it's 22. matt: yeah, that'll hit. they're only wearing studded leather. taliesin: okay. good enough.
matt: and they're caught off guardat how suddenly everyone, or at least you,were suddenly conscious. he was so quiet,he was so quiet and yet you still got therebefore he could stab you. taliesin: okay and that's gotan auto push, i think, or do i have to roll for push? matt: i believe -taliesin: strength saving throw. matt: yeah. that is going to bea 5 plus 0, none. no. so. how much damage is that total?
taliesin: that does... sorry.i was not prepared. i thought i was going to watch a fight. matt: (chuckles) taliesin: i was really prepared for that. that's 11 points of piercing damage. matt: all right.and pushes him how far back? taliesin: once... how many squares?that's a good question. that's 10 feet directly away. matt: (thwoosh) it pushes himout through the door.
you guys hear this muffled (pshew)gunshot in the distance and this slamming soundof a heavy wooden door hitting stone. percy, as you watch, as (boof)he's blown through the doorway, landing into the hallway on his back, and jumps back to his feet just in timewith his blade still out in front of him. taliesin: i'm going to taketwo more shots on him. the next shot is a sharpshooter shot. matt: okay. taliesin: -5 to hit.
yeah, no that's a 13. matt: 13. as you aim this timeand fire for a second time (pshew) he does see it comingand ducks out of the way as it just scoots under his hood, avoiding his headand leaving a hole in the fabric and then (kssh) taking a chunkout of the stone in the wall behind him. taliesin: okay, final shot is - i'm using the head shotto try and blind him for a round, so... taliesin: that's no sharpshooterbecause that sucked.
that's better! 28 to hit. matt: that'll do.go ahead and roll damage. taliesin: he needs to rolla constitution saving throw. matt: he rolls a 20 total. taliesin: and that's against -i just rolled so terribly... 20. it's a 19 dc, so unless that changeswith my new intelligence? matt: yeah so it doesn't -it isn't affected by - taliesin: he just takes 7 points of damage
matt: it was sharpshooter, wasn't it?it's a +10? taliesin: what? no, that wasn't sharpshooter.i just did the middle one sharpshooter. matt: gotcha. okay.7 points piercing damage on that. (pshew) while the first hitmanaged to miss his face, this one does (whoosh)scrape across his chin and cracks a bit of his cheekbone, but not too much of an impact on himto actually affect his eyesight. taliesin: i'm going to usemy movement and bonus
to grab at least some of the stuffthat's under my bed. some of my thingsand start to put myself together and steady myselfand i’ll start yelling bloody murder. matt: okay. you guys, at this point,start hearing the distant echo of percy's voicescreaming in the distance. taliesin: intruders! intruders! matt: at the end of percy's turn,that now brings us back to the rakshasa,which is narrowed down. takes the dagger and as a bonusdips it back into the sheath,
pulling it outwith the liquid trailing off of it. it's going to go inand attempt to claw and strike. ashley: no... matt: that's going to bea 23 with the claw. liam: yep. matt: you take 10 pointsof slashing damage. liam: where did my thing go?laura: here take it, i'm sorry. matt: and then the dagger is also going to be thrust back at youas it moves this way,
getting between you and the door. that strike is going to be a 21 to hit. liam: yeah. matt: all right.this time with the dagger. that's going to be 4 plus...that's going to be... liam: uncanny dodge on it. matt: 7 points of piercing damage and then i need you to makea constitution saving throw. liam: 20, natural 20.laura: (happy grunting noise)
everyone but matt and liam:(groans in relief) liam: there was some damage, though.it was what? matt: an additional 7 pointsof poison damage. you used uncanny dodge on this.that all gets reduced to just 7 total. liam: i did use uncanny dodge. matt: so it would've been 14 total.you take it down to 7. liam: i lost track of what was what. matt: sorry. 7 points of piercingand 7 points of poison together would be 14.your uncanny dodge brings it down to 7.
so you just take 7 points of damagethat round. matt: all right.that will end hotis's turn. that brings us to scanlan. sam: okay. i'll use, i guess,some movement to gather my belongingsand anything that i don't still have on. matt: i mean, everything that you havewould also include your armor, which you can't really put on right now. it would take youabout a minute to put it on, as it is leather armor,
but you can grab everything elseif you wanted to. or you could carry your armorawkwardly with you. sam: i'll just graba couple of instruments. matt: okay. (grabbing sound)you gather some things. sam: and go. i'll grabthe shawm and the mythcarver. matt: okay. (grabbing noises) sam: and if i've ever been up there, i'm going to try to dimension doorto the west tower. matt: okay. all righty.
sam: i don't knowif i'm familiar enough with it, but i'll give it a shot. matt: all right.you would've walked through the castleat some point in the past. you grab your things. ashley: i've been there with you. sam: what did we do up there?travis: made out. ashley: like just so much stuff there,so we've totally been there. travis: under the moonlight.
sam: did you have hickies afterward,or something? sam and travis: (laugh) sam: oh, it worked! matt: at the distance it is at that point and plus the factthat you have been there before, you concentrate, you remember a few nightsyou walked up there to look over the groundsbecause it's a beautiful view and it's close to where you guysusually stay here in the castle.
(zoopf) you come outof the dimension door and looking before you, you can see gilmoreholding a dagger out to one side and vax bleeding, holding and clutchingthe front of his abdomen, eyes darting around wildly, trying to think of some sort of planfor survival. so that's your action,that's most of your movement... sam: that's - i mean,that's pretty much all i've got.
i imaginei would be pretty confused, so - matt: yeah, you're takingin the circumstances. sam: i will probably just,if i have any time left, i'll just say, "what the fuck is going on, gilmore?" and that's it. matt: the gilmore looks over his shoulderand sneers at you. (hissing growl) sam: oh, shit. matt: grog, you're up. travis: i spring out of my bedbecause i don't sleep with any armor on,
i got all me bits on me, and i grab my axeand i kick the door open! matt: (boof) travis: because i know jenga.it's one of my favorite words. i'm like, (wordless aggressive sounds) is there anybody in the hallway? matt: there's nobody in the hallway. laura: no no no.i thought the gunman was in the hallway? matt: hmm?laura: percy's gunman was in the hallway.
matt: grog is sleepingin this side of the hallway. laura: oh, shit!taliesin: oh. travis: where are the stairs?matt: around that way. travis: fucking shit! so i start tearing down the hallwayas far as me little legs can carry me. matt: about thereif you want to take a dash. travis: i'll dash. matt: that's your movementand your dash, your action. you get to there as you come around
and see a guy in full black cloakand some bullets (tssh) flying by, shattering the stonework behind. and then you see this humanoid character holding a short sword at his side,growling. he sees you looming down the hallwayand his eyes go wide for a moment, unexpected to see this giant trainof a muscled entity charging down. travis: and the dashwas my bonus action right? matt: no, the dash is your action. travis: so i have a bonus?
matt: you have a bonus, yes. travis: can i look down and say, "hello, muppet." and i would like to rage. matt: all righty. liam: golf clap.laura: golf clap. marisha: good play, good play. travis: polite as fuck.matt: keyleth, you're up. marisha: okay.so this guy is by the door, yeah?
or by the window? matt: mm-hm. marisha: how far away from the window?like, is his back up against the window? matt: like - like basically juststepped out of the window and you were immediately next to it,so the window is right to his left as he's staring down at youwith a blade in the air. marisha: it's an open window.matt: yes. marisha: bars on it or something?laura: he came in. matt: it looks like the window
is easy enoughfor somebody to slip through. it's an open window. marisha: okay. taliesin: it's a nice neighborhood.there's no bars on the windows. marisha: i'm trying to thinkwhich way i want to go with this. matt: make it quick. marisha: i'm going to towards himdo a thunderwave push (boof) and try and push him out the window.thunderwave. matt: so you're goingto move around him first?
marisha: oh, does he have meup against the window? matt: you're up against the wall.if you want to thunderwave him, you'd have to geton the other side of him to knock him away from you. marisha: and he'll getan attack of opportunity, i'm assuming? matt: no, because youdon't leave his combat. marisha: oh. okay, yeah,i'll just shoulder around him. matt: you dart off the edge of the bed,catching yourself on the ground, turn around the other side and (boof).
what's the dc on that? marisha: jesus, i don't know.i don't do this very often. matt: (singsong) dc of thunderwave.vax, you're up next, prepare. marisha: it isa constitution saving throw. matt: and what's your spell dc? marisha: 19. matt: that is a 9 + 2, 11.that's not enough. how much damage does he take? marisha: he takes 2d8 damageand he is pushed 10 feet.
marisha: hopefully out the windowbecause that's what i was going for. taliesin: it's a small room. marisha: that was cocked. 4 damage. matt: 4 points of thunder damage. however, (boomf) it slams him back. his feet hit the edgeof the the lip of the window. he goes flipping backwardsout the side. he's going to attemptto reach out and grab it. travis: please fail.
matt: that is a natural 2. (all cheer) matt: (thwoop) you hear, "nooo!" ashley: yes! matt: as he's flung out the window. you don't even hear the landing,he's just out of the room now. taliesin: full on wilhelm scream. travis: nice. nice job.taliesin: (imitates wilhelm scream) liam: how about a howard dean?marisha: and then i'm going to take just -
matt: you have a few more...15 more feet you can run, if you want to. marisha: okay.i'm going to throw open the door and just peek out the doorand see what's up. matt: okay, you throw the door open.immediately out, you see grog standing in the hallwayclutching the axe, kind of sleepy-eyed, but filledwith hatred and intent to kill, while grinningin the center of the hallway. marisha: and then i’m goingto come over my comm and just say, "status report, where is everybody?"
and that’s it. matt: okay, after keyleth's turn,that brings us to vax. liam: i can’t seethrough the corner of the wall there. is scanlan like 10 feet away?5 feet away? matt: scanlan is 10 feet from you. liam: all right. i’m going to skirt along on his side,the rakshasa’s side, and shout out, "it’s not gilmore,it’s a fucking demon!" at scanlan, and then
i’m going to use my first actionto try to disarm kitty-cat. marisha: meow.matt: okay. all right. liam: what is that?travis: disarm him? matt: go ahead and make...go ahead and make an attack roll - or no, for this one,let’s make an athletics check to try. it’s essentially a type of grapple. uh, 16. matt: 16. okay, you reach out
and manage to grab the gilmore’s wrist,holding the dagger. his arm goes upand starts clawing these fingernails, these currentlynot-even-visible fingernails that all of a suddenturn into these large hooks that start tearing into your skin. go ahead and make a strength check to see if you canwrestle the blade from his grasp. liam: and this is the next action? matt: this would be the next action, yeah.
since you don’t haveany disarm-based abilities, this is a more involved - liam: 15. that’s still acrobatics, right? matt: no no no, this -liam: what’d you say? matt: this is all athletics. liam: this is athletics.same thing, sorry, yeah. 15. matt: yeah, 15?liam: 15. matt: you still have the grip on him,but unfortunately his fingers are too tight on the bladeand you can’t quite pull it out.
liam: okay, then,for the rest of my turn, i whip my head to scanlan, say, "follow me down. i’m going down." and i want to drag himoff the balcony, and go with him. matt: okay,you can drag him at half-speed - liam: half-speed. i’m hasted.matt: hasted. liam: 12 squares, full.matt: (fwwsh) (all shout) matt: you watch, sam,as he grabs
this apparently gilmore character,looks at you, tells you this, and then they both just hit the edge and tumble over the side of the balcony and go falling off. liam: this takes two seconds to go down.i looked it up. 80 feet is two seconds. matt: yep. (whoosh whoosh boomf)you hear two impacts. sam: but i just got here!don’t leave! matt: both you and hotis... 36 points of damageas you both (boomf) hit the bottom, this stone surface,essentially the ceiling
and the beginningsof the entire castle here on the top, both prone on the ground,dazed from the impact. liam: really hoping the guards are awake.laura: really hoping. matt: all righty. ending your turn,that brings us to the assassins. so - ashley: but we didn’t -laura: but we didn’t get to go. laura: do assassins get to go twice? matt: no, you guys go after them because thatwas how the initiative order happened. laura: (biting noise)
travis: yep.liam: that was 3 points of damage. matt: him yelling and waking you guys up avoided them getting an auto-criton their first attack. laura: oh, shit.travis: oh, god. matt: so be happy thatat least you woke up for the last round. laura: that’s good, that’s good.ashley: i’m happy, i’m happy. taliesin: thank you, matt.liam: so happy! happy. matt: happy.travis: thanks, matt. matt: so that’s two strikesagainst you, pike,
and then this one here looks over the shoulderand sees you, grog, and is going to start darting this way... and currently is out of sight. marisha: the assassin doucher?matt: yep. matt: the one that’s attacking you, pike - liam: i assume what i said to scanlanwas heard over earring as well. matt: most likely, yeah.that’ll be a 22. ashley: well, yes.
matt: you take 7 pointsof piercing damage, and rollanother constitution saving throw. ashley: 7 points?matt: yep. ashley: okay. that’s fine. 7 points. matt: and rolla constitution saving throw when you can. the second strike, this time,you slam his hand with the shield and you can seehe actually drops the blade and has to rush over to pick it up. ashley: 13?
matt: 13. you suffer 24 pointsof poison damage as the first strike this time cuts you right across the clavicleand down to the front of your chest, and it’s just, that sharp burning painfor a second and as you knock the other hit away,all of a sudden you feel the (oomf oomf). your ears fill with bright,burning-hot warmth and all of suddenthe pain from your wound begins to pulse with every heartbeatas the poison hits your system. ashley: nice. okay.
matt: and he’s going to move this way to start getting between youand the doorway. that’s going to end their turns.vex, you’re up. laura: okay. i’m going to get up, i’m going to yell at trinketto run out the door, and i’m going to grab my arrowsand my quiver and my broom. matt: trinket’s going into a full -we’ll say he can do a full dash. laura: can he get to the guy? matt: he’s gotten that farup the hallway.
he doesn’t see anybody yet. you grab your stuff. all right. that’ll be an action toget all of your things together. laura: okay.matt: your quiver, your arrows… laura: the broom.matt: the broom. laura: and i take off runningto the west tower. so we don’t see the guyoutside of percy’s room? matt: nope.that’s as far as you get, there. cool. that ends vex’s turn.pike, you’re up.
ashley: okay. so, i’m going totake out my hand, and i’m going to guiding bolt him. matt: okay.laura: take out your hand? travis: i’m going to take out my hand!ashley: my trusty old hand. matt: the wound across your chestwith the pulsing poison, suddenly the area that was once darkbegins to light up as the holy symbol that forever hangsaround your neck begins to glowwith vibrant divine energy, this whitish-yellow pulse of light.
the assassin, standing there grinning,seeing that he’s getting the upper hand, all of a sudden realizes that you aren’t as disarmedas he thought you were. go ahead and roll for the attack on this. travis: smoke him! ashley: 28. matt: that’ll hit.go ahead and roll damage on that. what level were you casting it at? ashley: i’m going to do it at 4.
matt: usually you decide thatbefore you roll the attack, but yeah. ashley: okay.travis: puddins, pike. ashley: i was going to.that’s what i was going to do. matt: i assumed you were.that’s fine. ashley: but i didn’t tell you that.how many do i roll? hold on, hold on, hold on. matt: let me look it up for you.guiding bolt is 4d6 - ashley: 7, right? matt: - and then it would bean additional 3d6
for 7d6 radiant damage against him. ashley: yeah, 7, okay.okay, so. travis: yep, 8.ashley: 8. travis: 11, 19. travis: 7, 26.laura: one more. ashley: what was it?travis: 27. ashley: 27 points. matt: 27 points, nice. you see his eyes widen as suddenly you blast him in the facewith this guiding bolt.
the impact just (boof)bursting across him, leaving this trail of divine fire that’s burning around the seamsof his leather armor. he’s trying to pat it out,but it won’t go out. while it’s not burning him, it’s lighting him uplike a christmas tree, and grog, you see -from underneath pike’s door, you see a little bitof a bright divine glow flash out from under the door
and you hear a couple thumpsagainst the wood from inside the room. travis: and that’s her,the one to the right of me? laura: yeah, which onesare everybody’s rooms? matt: this is vex’s room,keyleth’s, pike’s, percy - sam: the one that smells like patchouliis mine. matt: yeah. scanlan’s and grog’sand vax’s were over here. laura: okay. ashley: so can i moveout of the room? matt: you can try to, yeah.
ashley: i grabbed all my stuffand then i’m going to make my way out. matt: okay, all your stuff would be - you have your shield alreadythat you pulled off the side. you can grab maybe one weapon and go.you’re not going to get armor, though. ashley: i’ll grab my mace.matt: so you grab your mace, all right. liam: you’re in a slip or nothing, so. ashley: i sleep naked.travis: thatta girl! sam: so you’re nakedwith a shield and a mace. travis: that’s a bad bitch.laura: hell yeah, she is.
liam: monster! matt: shield, mace, holy symbol -ashley: do i have my gauntlets on or no? matt: nothing else.yeah, your gauntlets are on. matt: we’ll say the gauntlets were there,you slip them on real fast. as he’s pulled backand trying to pat out the flames, you grab your things and rush through. he does getan attack of opportunity on you as you run out of his combat range,so he’s going to swing at you. matt: that is going to be a 16.ashley: yeah.
matt: that does hit. with your shield, what’s your ac?it would be 11-13, so yeah, it still hits. so you take 5 pointsof piercing damage. i need you to rollanother constitution saving throw. sam: man. pikey. ashley: that is a 5? matt: you take another 24of poison damage. sam: oh my gosh, she going to die.laura: oh, no! ashley: no no no, i don’t thinki’m uncon - wait, 24 points?
ashley: i got one hit point left. sam: how did that happen so fast?laura: she took 24 twice! travis: poison sucks. matt: assassins, man. sam: what are these assassins?marisha: bullshit. liam: heal and run, heal and run,heal and run. ashley: okay.matt: all righty. travis: does she burst out in the hallwaynaked with a mace and a shield? matt: naked with a mace and shield,glowing holy symbol,
and just gash across her chest,blood pouring from the wound. laura: oh, pike! matt: sweat on her brow,one eye’s half-closed. matt: she’s barely standing.sam: and weirdly hairy shoulders. liam: that’s whyi never take the armor off, guys. marisha: no! ashley: and hairy chest.just full hairy chest. matt: ending pike’s turn.sam: oh, god. i never knew. matt: percy, you’re up.liam: still love me, scanlan?
taliesin: i’m going to run out of my -i’m grabbing just the basics. gloves and the gunbeltand my gun stuff. no armor. sam: gun stuff. taliesin: no amulet.running out in the front, what do i - matt: amulet, you would probably - you don’t need to take that off to sleep,so i’ll let you have that. taliesin: okay, so fine,i’ll just have that. all right, so no armor, so. taliesin: which direction is the west?matt: this way.
taliesin: it’s this way,and do i see any, i don’t see what - matt: you don’t see anyone, you just see pike burst outof her room suddenly, bloodied. taliesin: okay, i’m going torun past her room towards the west, and do i have a view right there? matt: you now have a view of a guybeaming with divine light, trying to pat out divine flamesafter swinging and getting a nice heavy wound on pike,who looks like she’s barely standing. taliesin: okay,i’m going to take a couple -
liam: fuck him up. fuck him up.travis: if he takes care of you, though... taliesin: i get one foot, stop,turn around. i draw my sword and i’m just going togo stabby on the bastard because i haven’t reloaded my gun yet. travis: that was in pike’s room?taliesin: yeah. travis: good, okay.taliesin: i can get there. matt: this is the endof your movement. taliesin: oh, right there? okay. then fine, i’ll just unload the gun.that’ll be fun.
matt: so you have a fourth shot. taliesin: i have a fourth shotand then another one, yeah. matt: okay. regular shot?taliesin: no, sharpshooter. matt: sharpshooter, okay. you have advantage on this shot,by the way, because of the guiding boltthat she did to him. sam: ooh!taliesin: oh, i do? matt: yeah, because the divine firethat’s surrounding him is lighting him uplike a giant birthday candle.
taliesin: all right, that’ll be 28 to hit.matt: that’ll hit. matt: go aheadand roll damage on that one. sam: hashtag gun stuff.liam: quentin tarantino joined. taliesin: 22 points of damage.liam and marisha: gun stuff. matt: (gunshot sound)the guiding bolt flares off. the impact hits himand sends him on his back foot. he looks over and seesthe smoke pouring out of the barrel as you’re aiming down for another shot.you reload real fast. taliesin: taking another shot at him.matt: go for it.
taliesin: advantage?matt: no, that was just the first one. taliesin: that’s okay,i still rolled really great. ashley: that’s okay, i still rolled well. taliesin: i was hoping for a critical,but whatever. laura: yeah, i’m not going to need it.ashley: fucking nailed it. matt: just wanted to check. taliesin: 25 to hit. matt: the dungeon masterwill remember this. no, it’s fine.so go ahead and roll damage.
sharpshooter as well? taliesin: yeah, yeah, yeah.it was... 24 points of damage. matt: 24 points of damage... (gunshot) the second shot.you reload, fire again. this time this one hits him right square in what looks likethe side of his jaw, shattered his cheekbone and his jaw and there’s now blood and teethpouring out
and he’s clutching the side of it,shaking his head. he’s in a really bad place right now and is looking over the back window,realizing he’s probably going to - taliesin: fuck it, let’s burnan action surge. this’ll be funny. laura: percy tastes blood. taliesin: that’s, 16, 17, 18, 19... 25? ashley: get him! taliesin: that’s 19 points of damage? matt: with that, as he’s turning around,about to dart towards the window,
as he spins around in his space, you take aim a second,or now a third time on him, fire... you watch. it’s obscured to see; all you see is the moonlightfrom the outside sky coming through and the silhouette of his head, and now the missing silhouetteof his head - as you scatter the top half of his skull across the stonesurrounding the window in pike’s room. ashley: thanks, percy.
taliesin: i reload. ashley: i had him, but thanks. taliesin: i drop a health potionand then steady to take care of that and reload my gunswith the rest of my turn. matt: okay. good to know.all right. ending percy’s turn, you’re currently on the ground now,you’re both prone. hotis stands up,using half of his movement, looks down at you, "you’re clever."
which, for the record,the illusion has faded. the gilmore visage is no more.now you see before you the angry, curled bare-teeth faceof the familiar rakshasa. "the feeling’s mutual." as you are currently prone on the ground, it has advantage on you. it's going to go ahead and... make two strikeswith the dagger against you. with advantage,yeah, that’ll be 25?
liam: he didn’t redip, though. i don’t remember you sayinghe redipped, right? he used his poison last timeand i made the save? matt: correct.liam: right? okay. liam: so that hits. uncanny dodge?matt: right. so the first one hits. matt: you take... 10 points of piercing damage. no poison. ashley: i’m sorry, i’m sorry.sorry, i’m nervously playing with it. liam: sorry. one more time?matt: 10 points of piercing damage.
liam: yes. matt: he’s going to dip the blade, remembering that he forgot thatafter the first strike. then with the second strikehe’s going to stab down once more. liam: that’s just a bonus to do that? matt: yeah. that’s going to be a 21. you suffer 11 pointsof piercing damage. plus 10 points of poison damage. laura: no more!liam: i’m unconscious.
matt: unconscious. so as you get up,he just stabs and stabs again, and this time as your finger’s extendedthe pain hits you and you just watch your visionfade to darkness. laura: no. matt: that’s the end of his turn. he has no more attacks,so he just watches you go limp. liam: for my turn, i’ll be dead.laura: no. matt: all right.well, scanlan, you’re up first.
sam: i go to the ledge and look over. matt: yeah, you look over the ledge, down about 70 feet,80 feet on the stonework, you see and watch as the rakshasa,now fully visible, gilmore visage gone, jams the blade twiceinto the currently laid-out back of vax, as the back's body goes limp,unconscious. drawing the blade, chuckling,throwing it up in the air, catching it, and is preparing to go downfor some finishing blows. sam: okay, shit.my stuff doesn’t go that far, does it?
any of my vocal spells, only goes 60 - matt: only about 60 feet, yeah. sam: yeah, fuck. all right.well then, for my action-slash-attack, i, overcome with furyseeing my friend on the ground, pull out mythcarverand just fucking jump and plunge. laura: oh my god!taliesin: yes! matt: okay.travis: yes yes yes. matt: so you leap, (shhh) - sam: and i have advantagebecause i’ve inspired myself.
matt: i’ll say for the purposesof this action, you will have advantageon the strike, as - sam: but i’m also exhausted. matt: right, but that doesn’t affectyour actual attack roll. that’s more your ability check. actually, you should havehad disadvantage earlier for that. sam: i rolled twice for that.matt: oh, you did? okay, good. matt: so as you come down, quiet. currently overcome with the now possibility of vengeance before it,
the rakshasa does not seemto notice you as you fall off silently, blade down,(whoosh) wind rushing past your face, the tunnel-vision before you as you can seethis whole scene play out before you. the blade comes down, slamming. go ahead and roll with advantageyour attack against the rakshasa. sam: 14. 15. plus i don’t know what!i don’t do these things! travis: i’ve never hit!sam: strength? is that strength? matt: it should be written on your attack.
it would beyour proficiency bonus plus your - sam: oh, it’s +8.matt: yeah, so. sam: that’s a 23.taliesin: 23. matt: 23 definitely hits.travis: nice. sam: okay.ashley: nicely done! sam: i don’t know what to do now.i roll a d8? matt: go ahead and roll your d8plus damage. sam: okay. 8 + 3, so that’s 11. plus 1d6 force damage. 6! holy shit!
taliesin: this is happening.this is happening. sam: so that’s 11, that’s 17. right? matt: 17?sam: okay. matt: i’m adding to that attackhalf of the damage you take from the fall. because of the force of yourself and the blade. so the damageyou take from the fall... travis: i don’t knowwhat that expression was. laura: yeah, i know,is that good or bad? both? taliesin: it’s either a lot or a little.
matt: 29 points of damage you suffer, slamming into the groundand falling prone from the attack. but he does sufferan additional 14 points of damage as the blade (sssh) just sinksinto the shoulder and the torso and he tenses in pain as the blade is still jammedinto his form. you let go of itas you slam into the ground and he draws it out with a spurt of bloodand throws it to the ground angrily, spinning around towards you,
still holding the dagger aloft,looking over. sam: do i still get my bonus action?matt: you do, technically, yeah. sam: okay, so i, on the ground,turn over to vax and i’ll bonus healing word him. laura: oh, thank god. sam: and i will sing with whatever windi have left in my body, "(singing) vax’ildan,you’re going to put up a good fight, "vax’ildan,i need you to put up a good fight. "put up a good fight! put up a good fight!"
travis: (laughing) is that "roxanne?"sam: that’s "roxanne." travis: i couldn’t even join inbecause it was so good. liam: so in love with you right now.so in love with you. sam: 4! i’m rolling great! plus 5. so you have 9 hit points! matt: so you come back to consciousnessface-down on the ground, scattered out on the stonework and the last thing,as your eyes come open, you hear the gentle tunesof scanlan’s voice
calling you back from the darkness. you glance out the corner of your eye and see that hotis is still standingwith the dagger up on top. liam: it was just my turnin the initiative. can i go? matt: no, your turn’s not yet.we have grog, keyleth, and then you. they actually got initiativehigher than you, so. liam: oh, okay, okay. matt: we’re coming to you, don’t worry.so your turn hasn’t happened yet. liam: okay. i totally -i trust in you, matt.
matt: all righty.liam: and fear you. matt: good.all right, that brings us to... grog, you’re up. travis: so i heard him say,"i’m going down," right? we all heard him sayhe’s going down as he was falling? matt: roll an intelligence check.sam: oh, boy. travis: this’ll be great. ah! 18 minus... travis: minus 2. 16. matt: 16. it takes you a moment,
and you have to bite your tonguefor a moment as you’re running down the hallway, but you ascertain that probably means... it’s a tower,probably jumped off the tower! travis: yeah, probably.i look out and i say, "oh, pike,you’re in your birthday suit! "are you all right?" ashley: yeah, i’m fine,i’m fine, i’m fine. sam: she’s bleeding all over.
ashley: wait, did i take -i took a potion on the - matt: well, he had the potionon the ground. taliesin: i threw you a minor.it’s not much. ashley: i’m going to be fine,i’m going to be fine. travis: okay. is there a window in the hallway? my question is,is the courtyard through those windows? matt: the courtyardwould be over here, actually. travis: right. is there -marisha: in relation to where we are?
matt: this is no longerreally part of the deal, so in relation to where you guys are,they’re about here. travis: do all of the rooms have windows,or is there a window in the hallway? matt: all of the rooms that have windowsare the ones on that side, so currently the only way to get here would be to travelback where you came from and find an exit out to the top of the - travis: fucking ass. marisha: i was going totry and handle that.
taliesin: do those stairs goto the west tower, by the way? matt: these stairs goto the west tower, yes. taliesin: cool, just checking. travis: can i hold my... turn until keyleth goes? you can still move, though,if you want to. travis: i will - where are you? marisha: i’m right behind you.in the room, in the door behind you. travis: yeah, but i can go back in.laura: okay.
travis: i should just stay thereif you’re going to make a door. marisha: hey, grog!travis: what? marisha: you want to jumpfrom really high? travis: yeah. i just want out. marisha: all right. travis: so i’ll hold until keyleth goes,and i won’t move. i’ll stay there,because she’s right beside - matt: what action are you holding? travis: i will hold my... movement.
matt: well, no, i mean, the movementgets used in your turn regardless. you just choose what actionyou want to hold as a trigger, so if something’s going to happen, you would then usewhatever your action is. your movement you have to use now,or it’s lost. travis: i have to choose what she’s going to do? i'm so confused. laura: well, you won’t be able to moveonce she goes. you won’t be able to do an actionbecause you’re trapping yourself. taliesin: it's like, "i’m holding everything
"until she makes a door." matt: your impulse hit nowand if you decide not to move, then the impulseloses the movement, so. travis: i don’t know.i don’t know what to say, i - sam: yeah, you can’t really do anything.travis: yeah. i don’t move. marisha: he’s just holding his action -travis: i decide to stand still. sam: yeah, but just to getthrough this portal, he’s going to have to move.it’s a whole other turn. travis: otherwise,i’m running down a hallway for no reason.
i just don’t move. i just stand there dumbfoundedthat pike is naked and cut to shit. matt: okay. that ends grog’s turn.you’re up. marisha: okay. i’m going to reach over,put on my circlet in my nightgown. marisha: and i’m going to step out,look left and right. okay. and then,going off what grog was saying, i’m going to walk behind grogand i’m going to do stone shape. i’m going to blast a door into that wall,blast a giant hole. yeah. matt: all right. (boof)as you tear this wall open there -
marisha: yeah, dude. yeah.laura: awesome. matt: - it opens up before you and you can see a little bit of itgets pushed to the side, because it’s a little bit elevatedfrom the the roof area, but you force it upward to where it bursts openand creates a slight ramp that leads upto what would be the roof of this part of whitestone castle. marisha: okay. cool. and then i’ll -can i see pike from where i am?
matt: you can, yes. marisha: i’m going to look at her and give her a healing word,just a level 1 healing word. marisha: you are going to heal -ashley: thanks, pal. marisha: oh, it’s not great.sorry. marisha: so 7 points.ashley: i’ll take it. you still have a little bit of movementif you want to use it. marisha: i’ll step back a little bitout of grog’s way. matt: okay. there you go.
marisha: not that, back towards you. matt: okay, got you. so it’d be there, probably,far as you can get. marisha: sure, yeah.so he can get by. matt: all right, cool.that brings us to vax. your turn. marisha: oh, grog. travis: no, but i can’t do anything.marisha: you can’t do anything? marisha: oh, i thought he held - matt: you didn’t sayyou were holding an action for anything.
travis: i wanted to move through the dooronce she made it. matt: i’ll let you do it.you’re generally not supposed to do - travis: what do i say, i hold a dash?or a hold a movement? matt: say you hold a dash. you could do that, yeah. travis: oh, okay.i would like to hold a dash. matt: okay. so yeah,then you just go ahead and - travis: we’re still learning. taliesin: you can hold a dashfor keyleth’s turn. taliesin and travis:hold a dash for keyleth’s turn.
taliesin: and then she movesand then you go. travis: i didn’t do my homework. matt: so as keyleth opens the window,you dash up and rush onto the rooftop, and there you can seeacross the way... marisha: i give him a good-gamesmack on the ass as he runs by. sam: naked ass.laura: he’s got his normal clothes on. liam: always naked.taliesin: he’s naked. laura: we’re all naked. travis: well, i only sleep nakedin the lady-favors house.
liam: question. grabbing a weapon off the ground,that’s a freebie, right? is that a bonus action?i feel like that’s - i think that’s free? matt: as part of an action,you can pick it - liam: part of an action?all right, great. i’m going to thank the raven queenfor my family and cast lay on hands on myself,take back 5 hit points. i see mythcarver on the ground. i’m going to grab itand use my movement to stand,
and i also noticedthat we’re flanking hotis, so i’m going to sneak-attackthe motherfucker up the back. matt: all right. just as a note, the way that the bonus attack works -well, this is with your haste ability. liam: yeah, i’m hasted.the bonus action was - oh, no, the action, right.the action was the spell. matt: the haste would’ve fadedonce you went unconscious. liam: oh, okay. that’s okay.i have one action still. matt: well, you have an action,and then you have your offhand strike.
offhand strike worksas part of the attack action. if you use your action for anything else,you don’t get the bonus attack. marisha: so is picking something upnot a free action? i thought picking up a weaponwas a free action. matt: it’s part of an action. don’t worry about it.it’s fine, let’s do it. liam: i didn’t even -no no no, do it the real way, man. i don’t want any mulligans. matt: no, the idea would be,
you don’t get a free bonus attackwith any other action. it’s whatever you’re attacking,you then get to throw this in this way. liam: well, let me ask you this because if i understood thati wouldn’t have cast the spell, so i’m happy to skip the spelland then cut the - matt: okay, that’s fine. we’ll do that. as part of the action economy, the idea isthat because you’re attacking with one, you can give yourself an openingto get a quick strike with the other.
liam: so it has to go with another attack.now i understand. so if i had understood -thank you, thank you. i’ll take that mulligan for understanding. so now i’m going to stab himwith mythcarver through the back. liam: flanked.matt: yes. liam: and flanked is at advantage, yeah? matt: no.liam: an ally nearby, was it not? matt: technically, he’s not flankedbecause the other ally is prone and is not currentlythreatening his face -
liam: all right, that misses, then.marisha: fucking fuck. liam: so i’ve used an actionbut not the bonus action, so i’m going to disengage. liam: and i’m going to dart back,as far away from him as i can get. ashley, laura, and taliesin: (silly voices) d&d! liam: 12 speed - the boots are off.6, got it. yeah, got it. matt: all right, there you go. that brings us to... at this point,waiting around this way.
as you guys are all distractedat this point, turns around, takes a dagger. marisha: who? laura: there’s another guy?marisha: where did he come from? taliesin: that’s the onethat ran that way. he’s mine. marisha: that yours? the little shit. liam: by the way,the whitestone guards are shit. marisha: yeah, no shit.laura: this is all happening so fast! liam: don’t they stand on the wall?don’t they stand on places?
sam: it’s movie night. they’re all watching the sound of musicin the rec room. travis: vasselheim, yeah,they’re on the lax. liam: whitestone, whitestone.travis: i mean whitestone. matt: this is all, like, 3 a.m.at whitestone castle right now. that being the case,the guard makes two dagger attacks. one at you, percy,and one at you, pike. that’s natural 20 against you, percy. taliesin: natural 20 against me?matt: yes.
taliesin: goddamn it.where’s my goddamn - ah, shit. sam: what do you need?what? what’s wrong? matt: no, it’s okay. he rolled a 1. so you take6 points of piercing damage. taliesin: i was going to try and grab it. i’m just trying to find my -my dagger seems to have vanished. yeah, i can’t find my daggerfor some reason. my gloves. matt: that would be 18 against you, pike?that does hit you. ashley: does hit.
matt: you take 4 pointsof piercing damage. ashley: okay okay okay okay okay.travis: okay okay okay. taliesin: i think the snare glove is 1d8.matt: 1d10, actually. taliesin: 1d10. that’s even better. matt: because he hit you first -ashley: i’m still alive. matt: - it’s sneak attackon top of that. he was hidden. so that was 6, plus... 34 points of piercing damage, all together. taliesin: dropped to 23.
taliesin: yeah. so. that’s right. marisha: yeah, don’t do that. taliesin: no, i’m not thinking.there we go. matt: that finishes their turn.vex, you’re up. laura: me?matt: yes. laura: okay, the wall just opened up, so i’m going to shout for trinket to run after the assassinthrowing the knives. laura: and i’m going to runout the doorway.
if i go up on my broom, will i be able to see themdown in the courtyard? matt: from this perspective? no. laura: i mean, if i run out the door -right, right. matt: if you run out the door...is this all on the broom? laura: well, if i’m in the air,can i see down at... matt: you’d be able to from - marisha: jazz hands? taliesin: (singing) you’ll be swell.
taliesin, ashley, and laura:(singing) you’ll be great. travis: (singing)you’ve got the world on... travis and ashley: (singing) a plate. matt: yeah, so from up thereas you (shhh) shoot out above, looking down, you can seewhere they lie on the battlefield there. laura: i want to shoot the rakshasa! matt: go for it. laura: yes! i’m going to usemy longbow of the sky sentinel. sam: you were born for this stuff.ashley: i want to shoot the rakshasa!
laura: okay.i make an attack roll for three arrows. okay, that’s a good one. that is 31. matt: 31? hits.laura: yes. as the first hit. laura: 19 is the second? matt: that does hit.travis: nice. laura: and 22 is the third. matt: okay. just as a note,what’s your alignment? laura: no, i’m neutral.chaotic neutral. matt: okay, cool, just checking.all right, so go ahead and roll damage.
laura: why?!ashley: what does that mean? liam: i know what it means.sam: i don’t know what it means. travis: you do know what it means?liam: i do. laura: does that mean i do not as good damage to himor something? liam: sort of.laura: god darn it. okay, wait. travis: that fucking smirk.liam: sort of. laura: hold on. i’m justgoing to roll the first attack, because i’m stupid.great. 12 for the first
because i forgotto hunter’s mark him because i’m a genius because i’m just so worked upbecause my brother’s in trouble. travis: as per uzh. laura: gosh darn it.liam: this shit ain’t my fault. matt: as a note,your rage would have faded because you had gotten no damage, but you also could have usedyour bonus action last turn for your rage.
travis: which i totally whispered,but just not loud enough. matt: that's what i figured. sam: we’re on point today.travis: you are omnipotent, my man. laura: 9 for the second attack. laura: oh, i haven’t been addingfor the bracers. add 4 extra to what i told you. laura: 18 for the last.matt: nice. laura: no, 20 for the last. i’m sorry, matt.i’m freaking out.
liam: so cruel, so cruel, so cruel. matt: you rush up in the air,and these were with disadvantage on all the attack rollsbecause you’re on your broom? taliesin: i sweari’ll finish it eventually. i swear, i swear. matt: roll three more diceand we’ll see if i negate any of these. first one is? liam: (laughs) 1. matt: first attack, nope,and i need you to roll a dexterity check.
laura: natural 20.sam: whoa! matt: okay, so you stay on the broom,you don’t fall off. liam: yeah.sam: she’s surfing on the broom. liam: no pressure.matt: roll - laura: the second one i already rolled.it's a 25 for the second. matt: okay.roll again for the third one. laura: (fake-cries) laura: what is that? 20.ashley: 21. laura: 21 for the last.matt: okay, so the last two still hit.
laura: okay, do i have to roll...oh no, do i have to roll again for - travis: no, you stayed on.matt: no, you stayed on. you’re fine. matt: essentially, as you rushed up,you saw him, you took aim, but you almost fell off the side.the first arrow goes far. the other two that split offdo manage to make their hit, but the first onedoes streak off into the sky. you right yourself back up on the broom,but that’s the end of your turn. laura: wait, i get another attack. matt: you do,because that was the first one.
laura: yeah.matt: all right. go ahead and roll. laura: my second one -can i use my bonus action? sorry. matt: no. laura: not in between my two attacks? matt: what are you going to use it for? laura: hunter’s mark!matt: okay. taliesin: it’s really just a stink-eye.ashley: i want to shoot the rakshasa! matt: you watch as your mark...has no effect. travis: it has no effect?
laura: oh, that’s right.he’s a rakshasa. he’s an asshole. travis: why does it have no effect? travis: tigers resist hunter’s mark?laura: i don’t know why. matt: you’ve never actuallyfought one before, laura. laura: no, i don’t know why, but -ashley: tiger’s resistance? laura: - he didn’t seem to be affected.ashley: tiger bomb? taliesin: it’s the eye of the tiger.marisha: tiger bomb. matt: you try and focusyour intent on attacking him and yet it doesn’t seem to find its form.
laura: 19 for the last, with disadvantage.matt: that does hit. roll the last attack. laura: okay. okay okay okay. liam: okay okay okay. matt: pike, you’re up next. laura: oh, no,i don’t get any additional - matt: nope.laura: - so that’s just 14. travis: why don’t you get any additional? laura: because i don’t getany storm damage. matt: so you pull -laura: oh, but -
matt: b-b-b!laura: no, i didn’t say that was true. laura: i didn’t say that wasthrough the flaming bowstring, did i? because i was so distractedby the hunter’s mark. matt: all right. that finishes your turn.pike, you’re up. ashley: okay, so i’m going tocast cure wounds on myself. matt: go for it.ashley: okay. matt: what level?ashley: 5. sam: yeah! matt: (laughs) 5th. go for it.so 5d8.
ashley and travis: (count quietly) sam: 5d8?matt: yeah, 5d8 + 5. travis: 21. ashley: that’s the last one?travis: yeah. ashley: okay, 21 points.matt: you heal yourself 21 points. ashley: okay.matt: what else you doing now? matt: you see trinketrun around the corner and is now currently in the faceof the assassin that just threw a blade at you.
and the rest of the party’srunning through this hole. ashley: how close can i get to the hole? matt: you can get about there. ashley: okay.so i’m going to go to there. matt: okay, so you run aroundto that area there. ashley: and then i’m going tocreate a spiritual weapon. ashley: can i send itdown to the rakshasa? matt: you don’t knowwhere the rakshasa is. ashley: i don’t knowwhere the rakshasa is.
matt: you have no idea, no visual cue. you just see a hole in the stone wallthat everyone’s rushing through and that’s the most that you know. ashley: okay, so you know what?can i nix that? matt: yep, you can do that. ashley: i’m going tocast shield of faith on myself. ashley: so that will bring me up to -because i’m 13 right now with the shield? matt: yes, that’ll bring you to 15. so you have thaton your concentration.
good call. percy, you’re up. taliesin: can i see that jerkwho just threw the knife at me? matt: no, he ducked around the cornerand trinket gave chase. taliesin: okay, i’m going toroll towards that corner as well. matt: this corner?taliesin: yeah, i’m going that way. matt: come around the corner that wayand you see trinket harrying the guy. liam: run, steve martin, run. taliesin: (laughs)i’m taking some shots at him. matt: go for it.taliesin: sharpshooter.
laura: trinket instinctually ducks. taliesin: i will not hit trinket. 24? matt: hits. taliesin: yeah, that’ll do it.25 points of damage. matt: hoo.laura: yeah. matt: (gunshot) giant blastas one of his shoulders is blown back. you see a spatter of bloodacross the stairs behind him and he almost stumblesback into the stairs. trinket’s using this positionto move even closer and snarl.
he’s feeling closed off. taliesin: taking another shot.matt: go for it. taliesin: sharpshooter. that’s 19? matt: hits. go ahead and roll damage. taliesin: hee! 24. ashley: dang.matt: all righty. taliesin: another shot.liam: consistent. matt: (tssh) this oneactually hits him
right above the pectoral muscle and blows him back,now almost leaning against the stairs, these two big woundsright in the middle of his chest. sam: i think you’llprobably have mercy on him, right? taliesin: yeah, no,i’m actually going to hire him. he’s been great. marisha: could be an intern. taliesin: (laughs) i can’t countwhen you do that. 24. matt: 24?taliesin: 24.
matt: all right, that hits. taliesin: come on. 18.sam: jesus. marisha: kill him. kill him. taliesin: 6 + 10.but i get a -5 to my attack. matt: yeah, with this one,as you pull back, final shot, you fire and it (fwoomp),right through the forehead. eyes roll back as trinket lungesand tears the throat out. taliesin: i keep running by themright up the hill. laura: midnight snack!liam: take it, dicaprio!
matt: that’s as far as you make it,full movement. laura: he does the paw thing. ashley: wait,are all the assassins gone now? matt: you only saw two. ashley: and you just killed one. taliesin: mine’s dead and yours is dead.ashley: or two. okay. taliesin: we don’t know about any others.travis: he smoked both of them, yeah. matt: all right.that ends your turn, percy. taliesin: yep.matt: all right.
sam: trinket’s the bestat killing dead guys. laura: he is so good at it. matt: everyone rushes in,the rakshasa glares around. laura: no!marisha: oh, this motherfucker. ashley: don’t you leave!liam: he's going for spells! travis: we’re still on the roof.it’s just scanlan and vax down there. travis: he’s not intimidated yet.laura: i shot him, though. travis: he doesn’t see us.marisha: i hope he’s got a counterspell... travis: he doesn’t know where it’s coming.right? (high-pitched) right?
taliesin: (singing)sam has got a counterspell. laura: what are you - what’s happening? marisha: (singing) when you’re a jet,you’re a jet all the way. laura: oh.marisha: i don't know. liam: rakshasa.sam: he’s doing math. sam: it’s a beautiful mind momentright now. liam: he does want to join vox monica. taliesin: this is what it's likeon this end, going, "what the fuck do i do?" thank you.
marisha: you know, there’s a mathematical equation for your stripes? liam: well, he reads thoughtsbut he gets them backwards, sometimes. sam: he’s thinkingabout that great loot crate deal. liam: vox merkernerkerk.laura: verks merkernerk. ashley: vox monica. travis: oh, shit. ashley: vox phoebe. travis: he’s really thinking about this. ashley: vox ross. vox chandler.sam: how many people will die instantly sam: - if i set offa thermonuclear bomb in my pocket? matt: all right. so.
laura: vox joey.travis: joey. matt: so. hotis, first, is going to... reach back and pull out - no actually, no.hotis is going to look up at the creature that justflew in on the broom. ashley: look away. matt: looks at you and says, "you’ll do." matt: right as the eye contact hits you -marisha: oh my god.
marisha: he’s going to fucking finger of death. matt: - you feel a presencebegin to push into your head. i need you to rolla wisdom saving throw. liam: at advantage, being a half-elf.laura: is it a charm? marisha: yeah, he’s trying to charm. laura: okay okay okay!liam: okay okay okay. laura: sheesh! okay.liam: ah, we’re good. laura: and what is it, wisdom?matt: wisdom. laura: 18 plus 3 is 21?
matt: 21, all right.you resist the effect. travis: what was he doing?what was the effect? marisha: trying to charm you, man. liam: it was what he did to methe last time we faced him. travis: oh, really?liam: yeah. marisha: only half of usknow how this fucker works. liam: now he does nothing at all.laura: i don’t know what he is. marisha: wait... taliesin: i wasn’t there.
marisha: it was just -was it just me and you? marisha: oh my god,it was just me and you. taliesin: yeah, we’ve never, we have no... liam: (sings) we’ve only just met. ashley: (sings) we’ve only just begun. matt: yeah, he’s going to getquite a way aways from you guys. ashley: where’s he going? matt: i’d say because you’re prone, you do getone attack of opportunity on him -
no, you dropped the blade.the blade is not at your feet, so you can punch him if you wantas he runs by. sam: oh, if he runs awayi can cast a spell on him. marisha: yeah. warcaster. matt: from prone.i’ll let it happen, sure. marisha: you can castwhen you’re on your back. matt: 5 feet of you. i’ll let you do it.what do you want to do? sam: well, it’s not the rule, though,i don’t want any preferential - matt: no, it’s not against the rules.it's a weird in-between.
you’re on the groundafter falling from the top. sam: yeah, i’m hurt,so maybe it wouldn’t work. matt: yeah, but you see him running away and you can still cast from the ground,so go for it. what do you want to cast? sam: okay. well, what i was going to castbefore he ran away was bigby’s handand try to grapple him. matt: okay,so you create bigby’s hand.
sam: (singing) bigby's hand! matt: and what level is bigby’s hand? sam: 5.laura: oh, no! matt: bigby’s hand (whoosh) appearsand rushes out, and the fingerspass through the rakshasa. it has no effect. laura: i know, i know.ashley: no! matt: it twice more tries to reach out, and the rakshasa shrugs it offlike it’s nothing.
sam: what? bigby...but the hand is still there? sam: he didn’t counterspell it.matt: correct. sam: he’s somehow immuneto hand-based attacks. what if it were a foot?would that have the same effect? matt: one could only conjecture. sam: shit! taliesin: it’s justthe number of fingers, man. sam: well, then i flip him off with it,but the british way. matt: perfect.all right, that’s going to end his turn.
matt: scanlan, you’re upliam: rakshasa cannot be jerked. sam: all right, i’m up. well, that didn’t work.so i guess i’ll drop that. and instead - jesus, what else can he resist? fucking shit. how far is he from me? matt: currently? he’s about...40 feet from you? sam: okay. matt: you can get up.you’re still prone on the ground.
sam: i’ll use half of my movementto get up, and i will stare daggers at himand cast eyebite against him. sam: yeah, i’ll just do one of these and i'll sing at him. i'll sing, "(singing) i hate rakasha,so put another arrow in his body, baby! (others join in singing):"i hate rakasha, "so come and take the timeand fight with me!" matt: as he looks back at youas you’re singing out loud and chuckles to himself -
sam: fucking -matt: - as it has no effect. liam: ah! haha.sam: fuck! but it was a good song! travis: it was!matt: it was a very good song. liam: petition to chris perkinsto rename it “rakasha.†marisha: rakasha!laura: (whispers) rakasha! sam: but what, he’s impervious to spells?how did that happen? ashley: what level was it? sam: that’s a 6th-level spell! taliesin: yeah.
matt: you have two more squares,if you want. sam: i don’t have a sword anymore.he picked it up, right? liam: yep.matt: yep. sam: so, i guess i will…liam: hey, i’m in a lot of pain. sam: oh, yeah. that guy. sam: okay. i’ll, uh -liam: 6 big hit points. sam: i’ll heal you again with a - i can only do a level 1 bonus actionwith a healing word, right? matt: up to level 2.
sam: oh, then i’ll doa level 2 healing word. matt: so 2d4 + 5. sam: ooh. 2d4 + 5 and 5?or 2d4 + 5? matt: just 5. sam: well, this is shitty.it’s 9 points again. liam: i’ll take it. matt: it’s better than nothing.liam: yep. matt: better than nothing. all righty.that ends scanlan’s turn. grog, you’re up. travis: can i see them at allfrom the roof?
matt: yeah. you’ve gotten upand you can see them all there. whatever this creature is, is now in the distance,trying to run back. travis: sweet anus! reason to jump! travis: and i jump off the roofinto the courtyard. matt: okay, (landing thud) you leapand it’s a very small step down (footstep) travis: but i make it looklike i landed really hard! marisha: three-point landing! travis: can i continue my movementin his direction
as far as i can go? 50 feet. matt: 50. that’s as far as you can get. travis: is he another 20 feet away? matt: about 20 feet from you, yeah. travis: can i take my... can i attach the blood axeto my chain of returning and hurl it at the rakshasa? matt: i’ll say yeah. you, being grog,for the most part, you don’t take your equipmenttoo far from you
because you’ve beenin uncomfortable situations. travis: only in the house of lady favorsdo i let my beans hang out when i sleep. matt: right. fair enough.you would have the chain on you, still. ashley: franks and beans! liam: how do you get the beansabove the franks? matt: you attach it, swish it, and throw the axe. go ahead. travis: reckless attack.matt: okay. travis: thank god.not much better. 17. matt: 17. 17 does hit.travis: oh, yay!
matt: go ahead and roll damage on that. travis: 6! that’s 26with 6 points of necrotic damage. matt: nice!(throwing sounds) the axe slamsinto the tiger creature’s chest. "(growls, breathes heavily)i’ll come back for all of you!" do you want to pull the blade back? travis: nope. it’s on the ground next to him,it’s not jammed into him - travis: oh, then yeah, i’ll pull it back.
matt: yeah, it’s not hard to pull back.travis: just (whoosh). matt: go aheadand roll your athletics check. travis: what is it? matt: you’re raging,so you have advantage. travis: oh, thank you. travis: same number.laura: (laughs) matt: athletics.travis: 11. matt: you pull it back (vwoof)and it streaks past you (shhh), scatters across the groundin the other direction.
you haven’t quite picked it up yet;you’re going to have to try again. travis: meant to do that.matt: yep. ashley: it’s 15.sam: cool move. travis: oh, it’s 15, sorry. matt: 15?travis: yeah. matt: then as you (shhh) pull it back - no, not this day, blood axe.you’re mine. matt: all right.that finishes your turn, grog. keyleth, you’re up.
marisha: i am going to... move up, i guess.my full movement. matt: about there. marisha: okay, roughly how far awayis he from me now? the rakshasa? matt: eyeballing it right now,from best you can tell, he’s about 60-70 feet from you. marisha: all right. okay. 60-70 feet. first things first,i’m going to cast wall of stone, and what i want to dois make it a semi-circle,
and wall him in with us. matt: a semi-circle and wall you guys in? marisha: yeah, wall him in with us. i don’t want us to lose sight on him,but i want to make it like a - taliesin: a cup.marisha: a cup. yeah. matt: all righty. so like around there? marisha: yep. all the way... matt: how long can you make the wall? marisha: how long can i make the wall?
i can make the wall... matt: vax, you’re on deck by the way. marisha: i can do 10 by... sorry. if it’s 3 inches thick,i can do 10 foot by - taliesin: 10 by 20? marisha: 20-foot panels...it doesn’t really specify right now. is it supposed to be 10... okay, right. right. so i think that’s about right.
matt: i will pull this up. marisha: i don’t want itto be super thick. taliesin: it’s not a very descriptive - marisha: it’s not very descriptive. matt: okay, 6-inch thick,composed of 10 foot by 10 foot panels - marisha: and when i do 3 inches thick,i can create 10 foot by 20 foot panels - it says the same damn thing in the book. you create a span of 20-foot length... matt: we’ll say that that’s fine.
you do a 3-inch wall there, 10 feet high? marisha: yeah.matt: all righty. marisha: and now i’m going todo a bonus action - see if this works. okay, i have a 60-foot range here, so i want to cast a grasping vine - matt: grasping vine is a 4th-level spell. you can’t do it as a bonus actionthe same turn you did another spell. marisha: fuck, that’s right.never mind. then i’m going totake a bonus action
and healing word vax. marisha: 8 points.how far away am i from vax? matt: you’re about 25-30 feet. marisha: okay, can i shout at him?matt: you may. marisha: vax! is that hotis? liam: yeah! marisha: uh, holy shit! liam: that’s what i said! marisha: that’s my turn.matt: and it’s your turn, vax.
liam: okay, and the first thing i dois shout out, "blades! i think bladesare the best way to go here, folks!" and i’m going to run at him. liam: i think i should get therewith 12, no? laura: no boots.liam: oh! no boots! liam: all right, i’ll use - fuck a duck.i’ll use the bonus action to dash. matt: okay, dash. (swoosh)you’ll get right there. unless you want to hold back - liam: and i’m going to tryto grapple that fucking dick.
laura: mmm, that’s good.liam: 19. laura: i’m going to grapple that dickso good. ashley: i’m going to grapple that dick!taliesin: i’m going to grapple that dick. sam: grapple that dick.matt: he is grappled. liam: okay.laura: grapple him, yeah! liam: and before my turn ends,i’m going to pull him in and say, "fool me once, motherfucker." and whoever steps in steps in. matt: okay. good to know.
this assassin is done -no turns for them. he is being slowly torn apart by trinketagainst the stairs. vex, you’re up. laura: okay, i’m going to...jeez, louise. i’m going to... fly downand land on the ground as my move. laura: and i’m going to shoot himwith my blazing bowstring. matt: go for it.sam: (singing) blazing bowstring! laura: 22! laura: all right. (mumbling) ...13… liam: (sighs) girl…
laura: (mumbling) ...plus 8…ashley: nice. laura: is 21! on the first attack.matt: 21 damage. all righty. laura: and i get to usethe blazing bowstring again because i get it twice. matt: you do. roll for the next attack. laura: that is a 26.matt: that hits, yeah. laura: 15 on the second. ashley: bracers? matt: all righty...
laura: ah! shit, add 4 to that.i’m sorry. i’m an asshole. matt: no, it’s all good.travis: you said it. matt: all righty, so (whoosh whoosh)both arrows slam (sound of flame catching)burst of flame - "(growls)" matt: he’s now starting to lookeven more rough and ragged. the fire’s curlingup the side of the robe. laura: and i yell, "what’s a hotis?!"
matt: all right. pike, you’re up. ashley: okay. i would liketo get to the window and jump out. matt: the hole in the wall you mean? ashley: the hole in the wall. i have my celestial shield.i’m going to cast featherfall on myself. matt: okay, this actually is a climb up.this isn’t a window. this is an opening in the wallthat keyleth made with stone shape. marisha: i made a ramp with the rubble.matt: you’re actually stepping up. ashley: she made a ramp,so we don’t need to do it.
matt: so you get up, and the farthest you can get this turn,unless you want to go full movement - you’ll not be able to make itall the way up the ramp and still do something, so… ashley: can i use my sprinter’s boots? matt: you can, actually. yes, you can. ashley: i’m still up on the ramp.can i still be hidden, then? i’ll stay right there. matt: okay,so you come out onto the roof
and you jump down about 5 feet,and you’re on the roof, now, the moonlight coming down,a somewhat clouded, spotted sky. in the distance, you see everyonerushing towards some sort of entity that’s walled in by a stone wall.he’s currently up in the face of vax. you still have your action right now. ashley: okay. do i have a clear shot to use - where did it go? ashley: flame strike at 7th level.matt: you do, actually. matt: you do. on 7th level?
ashley: da. sam: our music, it’s gone.laura: oh no. matt: oh, it’s coming, don’t worry. liam: (singing "whistle stop") (all join in on different parts)sam: that’s also bluegrass, folks. matt: and with that,we’re putting box music up. (all chuckle) matt: or we should be.laura: oh no! taliesin: (radio announcer voice)that’s called "the rakshasa blues."
taliesin: coming up next -liam: (starts singing mortal kombat theme) matt: we’ve got a boombox right here - laura, marisha, and ashley:mortal kombat! travis: doo-doo-doo. fight! matt: i don’t know why -input’s functional, but we’ll just make up the music as we go. so, at a 7th-level flame strike.that’ll be putting... 10d6 damage. going to attempt a saving throw. that’s a natural 1,
but does have advantageon saving throws against spells. laura: i can hear music,it’s just really quiet! marisha: yeah, i can hear it.liam: i liked ours better. marisha: oh, there we go!oh, you were doing something to it. sam: this is exciting.matt: it’s coming, isn’t it? marisha: it’s coming.liam: (record scratching noise) matt: what’s the dc of your spell?that’ll be an 18. matt: spell dc? ashley: 18.
matt: yeah, it does save,so it takes half damage. go ahead and roll 10d6. laura: damn.liam: damn. ashley: okay, 6, 8, 9. marisha: kill that motherfucker! ashley: 14.laura: 18. ashley: 18.travis: (whispers) 19. ashley: 19, 22 -travis: but that’s it - ashley: i roll 10.travis: oh!
laura: 22, 28, 29. liam: it’s like watching the olympics. ashley: 29. liam: 5-9, 5-8, 6-1.laura: ooh! marisha: i don’t even knowwhat that means! ashley: okay, so 45. matt: so, 45 halved is 22 pointsof fire and bludgeoning damage. marisha: what did you cast? matt: so how do you want to do this?
ashley: (gasps) wha -laura and travis: oh! travis: shit!laura: oh my god! ashley: are you serious? (gasps) what? laura: pikey-pike killed a rakshasa! matt: how do you want to do this?liam: do it, girl. ashley: i’m so shocked! i don’t know! okay, okay. oh, man. can the flame strike go through his body and (explosion noise)burst him like a (foof)?
matt: burst him like a foof. so, as you turn the corner, seeing all your friendscharging toward this creature, knowing the fear that you heardin vax’s voice earlier, the burning rage of vengeance - ashley: i’m mad. matt: - burns beneath your skin -sam: exposed skin. matt: - your mostly exposed skin.ashley: my non-hairy skin. matt: you grab your holy symbol,drop the shield,
and bring your arm up like this. as you do, the rakshasa before youall of a sudden goes like (grunts) - liam: i’m going to let go of him now.matt: you see the skin cracking - liam: just back up a few. matt: - these breaks to his exterior, these strange, glowing,internal cracks on his body. "(hissing, raspy breaths)i will return!" liam: yeah, we’ll see you next time,shitface. matt: (explosion sound)and he detonates with a column of fire
that comes bursting out of the groundfrom the body. you can see the shattering,burned bits of rakshasa flesh go flying acrossthe entire exterior of the castle as this column, 20, 30, 40 feet up,streaks up out of the top of the castle, lighting upthe vicinity of whitestone. and as it slowly subsides, there is nothing but a pile of ashleft where hotis was. (cheers) travis: that was sweet!laura: what the fuck was that?
ashley: thanks, grog! sam: so, i think i understand. you have to be nakedto cast spells on it. is that it? ashley: i think that’s what it is! liam: that’s how we did it last time. laura: what was that? what is this? taliesin: i’m going tofinish running up to the west tower. laura: trinket is slowly realizingnobody’s around him. taliesin: he could have joined me.ashley: i hold my shield over my body.
liam: i think we might need to havea discussion with vanessa at some point for not alerting usto the fact that this is a - marisha: that those things come back.liam: - an ongoing - marisha: - problem.liam: - contract. travis: i run overand i give pike a fancy robe. marisha: we watched him die. laura: who, hotis? liam: i stuck a knife through his throatand slit the front of it. travis: you killed him before?
ashley: so he comes back? marisha: remember when we split upfor the slayer’s take? he was our contract. travis: oh.laura: right. travis: didn’t finish him off, did you? marisha: nope,vax and i watched him die. travis: like, die, or like he “ah†fell?laura: and then you walked away. liam: i slit his throat.marisha: he slit his throat. liam: and it exploded blood
all over the groundunderneath his big smile - marisha: yes, it got bloodall over the place. travis: that’s pretty dead.marisha: yeah. travis: so he’s a vampire. marisha: i think we needto talk to vanessa, like he said. taliesin: i am alerting the guards and i am yelling through the hallwaysto lock down the city. matt: which, at this point,guards start coming up from below - laura: good job, guys! totally on it.
taliesin: we don’t know we got everybody -lock down, keep looking! marisha: yes, be that there areassassins running around, which was not part of the contract before. laura: i fly up on the broom and try to spot anybody on the groundthat looks dangerous. travis: can i look at vaxand ask him what he’s wearing? laura: (laughs)liam: oh, this is a - sam: a bloody robe.liam: a beautiful, bloodied... liam: it’s a robe.it’s a beautiful brown.
marisha: the beading on it is gorgeous.laura: i thought it was silver. ashley: can i check the robe? liam: no, no look at it - it’s brown.it’s brown, it’s earthy. laura: matt said it was silverthe last game. liam: yeah, but look at it. can’t you see with your eyes? it's brown. matt: well, portions of it are brown now,due to the blood that has seeped into it from the various stab woundsthat he’s suffered. liam: i don’t really want to wear this. i’m a little confused right now.i think i need to -
sam: what happened?travis: yeah, how did that happen? ashley: can i take a look at the robe? matt: as you attempt to take the robe off, you feel like the strengthis sapped from your body and you’re like (raspy groan). and the more you try to pull it off,the more and more you start to feel like it’s pulling the breathout of your lungs. ashley: can i try to rip it off of him? liam: ah, wait wait wait wait wait -let’s figure out what’s going on!
laura: do i see anything? can i land? matt: yeah, make a perception check - liam: wait, stop, everyone stop.(breathes heavily) that thing came to medisguised as gilmore. he told me he wanted to talk,we went for a walk, he gave me this - full disclosure,we all know he’s fucking sweet on me. we went for a strolland then he turned into whatever he is and thenhe fucking stabbed me in the gut. ashley: wait, but -
matt: you see guardsscattered around the castle. ashley: gilmore gave you the robe? liam: no, he was disguised as gilmore.marisha: the rakshasa can disguise - liam: he’s a skinchanger.marisha: he can shape-shift - marisha: - and he can teleport,and he can do all sorts of shifty things. liam: which means we need to find gilmoreand we need to find allura now. taliesin: everyone get -marisha: hang on, hang on! marisha: i go up to vax and i cast dispel magicas i try and pull off the robe.
liam: ahh. ahh? it stings? i think. matt: go ahead and roll a d20 and add 6 for your wisdom. marisha: add 6 to my wisdom? matt: add 6 to the roll from your wisdom. marisha: oh, add 6 to the rollfrom my wisdom. oh, adding my modifier, right. 14. matt: 14. as you cast dispel magicand start pulling the robe back,
you feel like someone’spulling the skin off your body. sam: oh, god.liam: fuck me! matt: you suffer 12 points of damage as it feels like someone’speeling the flesh off your body. sam and marisha: wait, does it come off? taliesin: i've got a plan.marisha: it doesn't come off. travis: i pull it off. taliesin: no no no no no! no. i’m grabbing vex.
vax, vex, with me.everyone start searching. tell them that we’re going to needa healer downstairs. and i’m going to take him.we’re going to head towards - laura: wait, did you say me or him?taliesin: i’m taking both of you - taliesin: - because i’m not carrying him alone, because he’s heavy. laura: he’s actually quite light.liam: i’m lighter than my sister. taliesin: i have a strength of 12.there’s not a lot i can do. laura: ow, no, i'm serious. don't! i'm really not strong. taliesin: i’m going to try and drag himdown towards the pit
with the orb of death. marisha: oh, that’s a good idea. travis: are there any piecesof the rakshasa left? matt: burned, tiny chunks and ash. it was a full - it was - we’re talking end-of-matrix-styleagent smith scattering. liam: scanlan!sam: what? liam: will you grabthat dagger off the ground for me? sam: what dagger? you had a -
liam: his dagger, the dagger -no, i’ve got your sword. and i toss it as we get dragged off. the dagger. get the dagger for me! sam: i’ll grab the dagger.i’m coming with. liam: i like them. marisha: i go and i lookfor allura and gilmore. taliesin: yes, let them knowwhat’s going on. marisha: while they do that. matt: okay. so you take vax and vexdown towards the ziggurat.
laura: come on.liam: (groans) taliesin: just make sure if you start to feel strangeas we go down there, let us know. and we slowly inchtowards the effects of it. liam: this is whyi didn’t even bother to take it off. laura: you know what? at least it doesn’t smell as bad as your feathers. taliesin: that’s so true. ashley: i’d like to follow.matt: okay. liam: life’s not that bad.life’s not that bad.
taliesin: yes, but your smell is. travis: i’ll go, too, just as security.sam: i’m with. matt: you’re with them?sam: yes. matt: all right, so you guysall make your way down. as you’re going through the castle,it’s in utter chaos now. all the guards who, in what was about 20 to 30 seconds of action since the moment of actual shoutingat the top of the tower, the reaction time would be great if it wasn’t such a short windowthey had to get up there
and you guyswere right in the thick of it, and more trained than these soldiers. marisha: as i’m lookingfor gilmore and allura, i’m alerting the guardsof the visuals of the assailants. matt: okay. and the guardsbegin to continue pushing around. you can see now, lights are starting to come onin the town. you guys make your way down into the subterranean tunnelsunder whitestone, where the ziggurat is.
you can see it, once again,the large, pyramid-like structure. taliesin: i cast - no, no, never mind.i’ll hold off. keep walking. matt: okay. you make your wayinto the central chamber. it has a number of fire-based braziersthat are set in there now for light that are just general fire, but a lot of themare burned down to embers. it’s very, very low light in this area.you can barely see anything in here. you guys make your way inside the room. it’s cold, it’s dank,it’s not a very comfortable atmosphere.
taliesin: okay. very gently. liam: i’ll do it! i’ll do it. taliesin: if this doesn’t work,we can try something else. travis: what are you doing?laura: i’ve got it. sam: hold on, we’re close enoughthat magic has no effect, yeah? laura: potentially.liam: potentially. sam: i’ll cast mage handto slap percy in the face. matt: no effect.sam: no effect. sam: okay, we’re good.liam: all right.
liam: i’m going to just peel it, slowly. i’m not going to rip it offlike these assholes. matt: okay.it pulls back with no issue. laura: hey! get that shit off. sam: throw it in the orb!taliesin: don’t throw it in the orb! laura: somebody give himsomething to put on. grog, do you haveany more fancy robes? travis: nope, all out. taliesin: put it on the ground.we’ll deal with it.
we’re not leaving it here. laura: well, just cover up your bitswith it, maybe. liam: we lookalmost exactly the same - laura: i don’t have any dangly bits,i’m sorry to tell you. liam: minus that one thing,we are so close. taliesin: three things. three things.marisha: three things. there’s a few. laura: a couple other things.liam: yeah, but still. travis: i do have one other fancy robe. laura: give him a fancy robe, grog.travis: mmm.
laura: grog! travis: yes? laura: for my sake? travis: all right.last fancy robe to vax. sam: will the bag of holdingwork down here? taliesin: no.liam: shush, you fucker. laura: oh, shit. matt: you reach into the bag of holding,and it’s just an empty satchel. taliesin: yeah,there’s no bag of holding in here.
so why don’t we go upstairsnow that it’s off and we’ll leave it here,and i’ll be the last to leave with it. laura: wait.why are you keeping it, percy? taliesin: because i'm not suredestroying it in here is the best idea, and i'm not sure if destroying itis going to damage him. taliesin: so we're going to be careful.laura: all right. travis: aren't there acid pools down here?laura: no. taliesin: it's not a terrible idea,but we should - travis: yeah, there are.
laura: oh. that's right,that's where your gun went. liam: but not near here, not here. taliesin: let's just very gently -we don't know what that is yet, so let's very gentlyget you out of the orb's influence, and then we'll remove itout of the orb's influence, and we'll see if there's a problem. liam: i walk proudly and nakedout of the fucking ziggurat. travis: that's what i was going to ask. taliesin: i pick up the cloak
and move it outside the orb's influenceto see if it has any effect. as you pull it beyond the perimeterof what you've come to mark, and it is marked, by the way. through the research of allura and the folksthat have been here for a while, there is a specific mark in the hallwaywhere that barrier begins. taliesin: i just gingerlystart to put it forward, watching him. matt: no noticeable effect.taliesin: all right. laura: nothing?taliesin: seems all right.
taliesin: i'm going to slowly walkaway from the - slowly bring itout of the influence of the sphere. matt: no effect. laura: does that meanwe should take it back in and chop it up so nobody ever puts it on? taliesin: i think we shouldhave someone look at it first. sam: no, we can use it as a weapon. taliesin: or we could destroy it properly.one or the other. travis: probably a good idea.should i check the bag of holding now?
laura: yeah, look in it.travis: can i reach in for a fancy robe? matt: yeah, you pull out a fancy robe. travis: awesome. i wind it up like a toweland i smack vax on the ass super hard. liam: what's - fucking hell.and i don't even roll for it. (screams) travis: bare ass. bare assi get it really good, like (whack)! liam: grog. grog.travis: yeah? liam: brother,i am so happy to be alive. travis: yeah, me, too.here you go. (whssht)
liam: whoo.wait, is this the one? ugh. laura: no, no, it's a fancy robe.it's just a regular robe. liam: are you sure?laura and ashley: yes. travis: yeah, put it on, fucker.matt: (laughs) matt: the fear of robes has now set in.marisha: (laughs) in robes? taliesin: i am carrying the robeon bad news like a stank rag, at this point,through the hallway. matt: okay. while this is happening,you make your way down. allura and gilmore weren't stayingin the castle.
they were stayingon the north side of the town. marisha: as i walk towards them,i want to throw up a skywrite, once again. the de rolo crest, just alerting people. matt: okay. and you do see,there are lights coming on in the town and guards are now going outthrough the streets, going through buildings, searching for individualsthat match the description you're at. as you make your waytowards gilmore's home, you hear what sounds likea loud, heavy thud.
(boof) (boof boof) another one,and suddenly a crash of glass. laura: i take off run -oh, she's by herself. matt: she's there by herself. i'm going to cast polymorph on myself. marisha: and i'm going to go as a mouse. matt: wild shape or polymorph? marisha: polymorph. matt: okay. (fft)you turn into a tiny little mouse. marisha: can i fit through the door?
matt: yep. you (fft) skirt under the door. the first thing you notice nowis there is a bookcase that is shattered and there is a figure slumpedin the corner where the table is broken. there's a little bit of lightfrom a lantern that's been knocked over that's starting to catch fireon the curtains, and as the light (whoosh)from the flames begin to pick up, you can see the figurethat was off to the side suddenly lifts up in the air. and you now see there, held aloft,what looks to be a humanoid,
wearing dark leathers, a cloak,and a hood (groans) being held about four feet in the air,tense up. walking out of the next room,you see gilmore in disarray, a little bit of bloodstreaking down the forehead there, sweaty in the face, with his arm out. sam: ooh.laura: yeah. matt: "what did you say?that's what i thought!" and he closes his handand you watch as the figure is just - (squelching noise)
all: (shocked and impressed exclamations) matt: - squashed in this ball of flesh,and you can see as it slowly twists, it's like squeezing water out of a towel,just blood pours out. all: (noises of disgust)travis: (gleeful laughter) yes! matt: and then he releases his fingers,and the figure (thud) falls limp on the groundlike a crushed doll. "(sighs)" marisha: i drop polymorph.matt: "(startled shout)" marisha: it's okay! it's okay!it's me, keyleth. sorry.
matt: "it's not the nightto be doing that to me!" marisha: (shouting) i know, i know! matt: "(sighs) i need a drink." marisha: gilmore.rakshasa. in the town. pretending to be you.trying to kill vax. matt: "right now?" marisha: yes!also, a bunch of fucking assassins. matt: he grabs you by the arm -marisha: (scared) yeah. matt: - and just (shfff).
there's a rush of airand a sparkle of purplish-blue energy. as you guysare walking through the tunnel, all of a sudden (boof),with a flash of light, you see,standing before you in the tunnel, keyleth and a very harried gilmore,who is - marisha: (breathless) i found gilmore.matt: "(pants)" laura: i pull out my weapons. travis: are we killing this one? marisha: no! this is real gilmore!real gilmore.
matt: "hi. (chuckles)i'm glad to see you're all right." laura: (laughs)taliesin: (cracks up) matt: "wasn't expecting itto be my birthday, as well. (chuckles)" liam: oh, i'm still here?oh, i'm still here! sam: vax, vax, quick!laura: (singing) and naked! liam: let's look at the backside instead.this is a little awkward. sam: vax, ask him a question that only gilmorewould know the answer to. liam: oh, sh -what did i tell you in that tavern
the other night?a couple of months ago, i guess. what did i tell you? laura: (laughs) do you remember?liam: yeah, i do. matt: and you can see now,he's breathing heavy. he's been a little winded.and his eyes are excited to see - excited to see you for multiple reasons,but excited to see that you're alive. but as you ask him this question,you see his demeanor darkens a little. "that you... had interests elsewhere." liam: yeah, that's gilmore.
marisha: as he says this, i do a little cantrip fog cloudaround vax's... privies. just a little floating fog cloud. liam: oh, not in my hair.laura: a little floating cloud of - marisha: right around your waistline. ashley: a little tutu.marisha: the old tutu. laura: a little smoky tutu? marisha: a little censor bar.travis: should i throw him the robe? taliesin: anime bathhouses.travis: i thought i threw him the robe.
laura: he let it go.he wanted to walk naked. liam: it's been a shit night.who wants to get a drink? marisha: well, wait. matt: "i, for one,could really go for some heavy alcohol." marisha: gilmore. where's allura?where's allura? matt: "i don't know." marisha: gilmore, if they were after usand they were after you, they were probably also after allura. we need to make surethat everyone on the council is okay.
laura: zahra. kashaw. marisha: all of them. matt: "then let us go search.and then we shall drink. "nevertheless." and gilmore steps into the fog cloud - matt: - and puts his armsaround your neck and pulls you in, deep into his shoulder, and as he holds you really close,he whispers, "i'm glad you're all right."
liam: (quietly) i don't say anything. matt: he lets you go. liam: i pick the dialogue choicein the telltale game, where i say - laura: you say "dot dot dot"?ashley: ellipses. marisha: say nothing?sam: dot dot dot? matt: he pulls back with a smileand kind of reads you. travis: gilmore will remember that.laura: (laughs) matt: he gives a nod of understandingand takes a step back. "i'm sorry."
liam: oh, no no no. matt: "let's go make surethat everyone else is all right. "come! follow me." he turns aroundand goes into a jovial jog. you guys make your way upback up to the castle. kashaw and zahra are both fine. you come to them and findthat their rooms were not disturbed, as neither of them were in the -actually, no, kashaw was. sam: where was kashaw?
laura: he foughtthe rakshasa to begin with. matt: (laughs) yeah, no. you do come to the pointwhere there are now a bunch of guards swarmed around the outsideof kashaw's room. as you push past,there is blood everywhere. everywhere. on the walls, the ceiling,the floor, across the bed. travis: awesome. matt: and you see,sitting on the edge of the bed,
spear in hand, shield tossed to the side,also covered in bits of viscera, kashaw,who's currently leaning against the edge. liam: what's up, stink-eye? matt: "they knew better, right?what else was going to happen?" travis: how many were there? matt: "oh, just one." travis: whoa.all: (impressed laughter) travis: cool. cool. respect.laura: we're grabbing a drink, kashaw. matt: "i'll take a shower first.but then a drink."
marisha: i grab him real fast and say, "it was hotis, the rakshasa.remember? from the slayer's take." matt: "i always hated cats." ashley: i put out my hand and say, "i've heard a lot about you.it's nice to meet you." matt: "oh. nice to meet you, too." ashley: i have a robe! i have on a robe! travis: “i have on a robe,i have on a robe!†ashley: i'm dressed! i'm dressed!
matt: we'll sayhe closes the front a little bit. liam: it's probably way too large for you.ashley: a deep v? matt: right, right.marisha: yeah. matt: "it's nice to meet you, too. "i... don't normally dress like this,either, so don't worry." ashley: i'm dressed like this all the time. matt: "huh. "i like you." and he walks out.
"i'll meet you guys in a minute." and he goes off to clean himself up. zahra's fine.there's been no attack on zahra. laura: cassandra?travis: allura? marisha: yeah.let's split up, i guess? taliesin: let's all meet in the sitting roomin ten minutes. so let's have anybody on the councilmeet there in ten minutes. i'll send word to the guardsto get everybody where they need to be. if anything's out of sort,it will instantly reported to us.
ashley: good plan. liam: i'm going to get my shit.laura: i want to put on my armor. taliesin: i'm also getting my shit.ashley: yeah. laura: and then go find zahra.marisha: i'm going to go look for allura. travis: i'll go for cassandra with youbecause i don't trust that bitch. liam: (laughs)taliesin: oh. matt: all right.you guys gather your stuff. at this time, cassandra's awake,and she's actually in the process of dealing with the guardsthat are coming back with information.
they've been sweeping parts of the town.haven't found anyone else. there's been no real follow-up to any other figures that have been found, beyond the few select individuals. and it's at this time, as you guys gather your stuffand begin to head back out, that allura comesinto the front of the castle. she comes in, hair tossed,and she looks a little frazzled. "is everyone all right?"
laura: yes. kima? is she all right? matt: she looks over her shoulder,and you see kima come walking in, wearing what lookslike a long nightshirt. her maul in her handand dragging behind by the foot what looks to be a mostly-mashed faceof one of the assassins that tried to find its wayinto their home. matt: dragging a long trail.marisha: still alive? matt: no, not alive at all. the head is caved in,and there's a long trail of crimson
that leads all the waydown the walkway, down the footpath of the castle, and disappearstowards the base of the walkway at the north side of whitestone. "(grunts)" and throws him. (repeated thuds) tumbles onto the ground,smears across a bit of the stonework. laura: good work. matt: "you, too.
"i can see the rest of you guys,at least, seem to be okay." travis: yeah. taliesin: who did get attacked,out of curiosity? what happened to yours? marisha: this assassincame through my window. taliesin: did you kill him? marisha: yeah. well, i...actually, i don't know. i chucked him out the window.he might still be alive. taliesin: i'm going toturn to a guard and say,
"search underneath the windowof that bedroom. "anything you find - "look carefully, find a body.if you don't find a body, find a trail." good work. windows are good. sam: do "ra-kasha-kashas"typically hire people? where do they come from?do they come with a band of merry men? i don't know anything about them. laura: they're just tigers. do tigers - matt: allura goes like,"what did you say?"
sam: oh, there wasa "raka-sha-sha." taliesin: a rakshasa.marisha: a rakshasa. sam: no, i think you're saying it wrong. laura: a hotis. a hotis? marisha: his name was hotis. rakshasas are devils from the nine hells. matt: "i'm quite familiar with them, yes." sam: do they travelwith assassin friends all the time? where do they come from?
matt: "well, they comefrom the hells, "but they make alliesall throughout the realm. "they're manipulators.they masquerade as anyone "that they think would helptheir current intent and goal. "they lie, they deceive, they convert." liam: keyleth and i encountered him last. marisha: and kashaw, wherever he is. liam: and kash.and i took his last blood, and i heard a threat,but i didn't make anything of it.
liam: and here he is again,so i suspect this will happen again? matt: "so you slew this rakshasa tonight." travis: well, this one did. matt: "well, that will be vengeanceon two, then. it will be back." sam: is there a wayto prevent the "sha-ka-kan" from coming back? liam: is there a wayto finish it off for good? marisha: permanently. matt: "there are a couple of ways.all of them involve
"going to its home planeand destroying it there. "so unless you marvela trip to the nine hells, "it's going to be a bit of paranoiafor a while. "it does take weeks, months for themto regain their form, "but the process is very painful for them "and, as far as what i've read, at least, "they only really care about getting backat the ones that took it from them." laura: so still him and you?sam: and now pike. marisha: is it one of those thingswhere it passes off down the line,
or is this rakshasa going to be pissedat both of them? matt: "since you're alive,its vengeance was not sated. "i think that's two of youon its shit list." liam: allura,would you be able to... give us guidanceon how to get to it? i mean, this is a group decision, and i'm not going to be fooledin the same way again. i'm going to be sleepingwith my fucking knives for a while. but this will just repeat.how do we get to it?
matt: "well, for right now, "it's screaming its way backto the pit of its own creation. "it will take weeks, monthsbefore it reforms. "it will be very vulnerableduring that time. "mind you, it's notthe most welcoming place, either. "but (sighs) if we make a journey therein a few weeks' time, "we could probably findwhere it's currently recouping, "and slay it for good." laura: how long will that take?
matt: "how long will what take,the journey? "instantaneous.to find it, longer. "to survive that journey,that is no easy task, "as it is a place of great dangerand great evil." liam: are you able to locate itonce it's reformed? matt: "it's possible. "it depends on what sort of magic wardsit may have. "i don't know where it is.we could certainly try." marisha: i believe it's immuneto certain magics, correct?
matt: "that is the issue." ashley: do they get any strongerwhen they come back, or are they always the same? matt: "all creatures don't like to makethe same mistake twice, "thence the whyit seems it brought friends." marisha: speaking of those friends. you said these rakshasasare master manipulators. is there a group or an organization herethat has it out for us? marisha: i mean, i'm sure many, but -matt: "i am certain there are many."
matt: "as there are a fewthat have it out for me, i'm certain." liam: were there any survivorsfrom our assailants? taliesin: we're looking, but none of ours. liam: (sighs) well, if there are any,we follow it back to the source. taliesin: yes. marisha: in the meantime,i guess it's time to drink. liam: (quietly) also ale.travis: (quietly) also ale. matt: "it will be hardto find this rakshasa "now or any timein the very near future,
"as it's still finding its seedof corporeal form. "(sighs) but i agree,this has to be rectified." marisha: i still feellike we need to reach out to vanessa. let her know what's going on. liam: maybe up the - marisha: cost of the contract?liam: - asking price on that? laura: (scoffs) yeah, good luck.liam: (laughs) matt: "i'm a bit confused,but do what you need to do. regardless," and she looks to gilmore,who has taken a breath now
and has pulled an evening flaskout of his night robe. he takes a swig off of it, goes, "i think we need to quicken "our reinforcementsof the city. "i think we need to make certainthat not only are we scry-proof, "but i believe we need to find a wayto alert ourselves "of any sortof celestial or fiend intrusion." lauar: so it's a fiend.liam: a fiend? also - matt: "the very definition."
liam: this is not just a vendetta. it knows about whitestone.it knows about our base of operations. laura: how do you know that? taliesin: because it came here. liam: it looked us in the face.it knows we're here. it knows where we are.it knows all of us. it knows him. it knows all of us. taliesin: it may not know its value,but it does - matt: the rakshasa -at this point, gilmore is like,
"that's actually a very valid point. "how would it - did it meet us?how would it know what i look like?" marisha: good point. did it meet us? liam: when was the last time you saw usbefore kiki found you? matt: "you mean last night?" liam: the last conversation we had.laura: okay, dinner? matt: "dinner would have beenthe last time, yes." matt: at this point,allura thinks for a second. she goes, "i'm fairly certain
"that they can peer into the mindsof those nearby "and can read surface thoughts. "it may know more secretsthan you think it does, "which makes itthat much more important "that we eliminate it." liam: yeah, good.that guy is a liability. sam: we'll put it on the list. laura: i know.right next to the dragons? marisha: he could be following usfor a while.
liam: he could rat us out to the dragons.laura: (sighs) liam: he's fucking pissed off. he wants to hurt me, and now her,as badly as possible. all of you matter to us. i think the rakshasacomes before the dragons. maybe not before the vestiges,but on the list. taliesin: if we can put some manpower towards discovering where he isand where he lies while we continue our searchfor the vestiges,
and then once we have a solid lead,we can follow it through. matt: "i can work on that." ashley: can i go over to the dead body that kima threwinto the middle of the room and cast speak with dead? sam: ooh.liam: (whispering) yeah, girl. taliesin: that's a way to go.travis: is his face super crushed? travis: is it like (krsch)halloween mask inside-out? matt: yeah, it's just smashed inward.
travis: well hold on,let me reach into his mouth. and i reach up under his nasal cavity and i pop his face back outjust a little bit. sam: ugh.liam: (zombie groans) travis: it's likea deflated soccer ball, right? matt: yeah, it's horrifying.straight-up horrifying. ashley: five questions.sam: five questions? liam: i thought it was three.five? that's good. so you have five questionsyou can ask the creature.
as it sits there and you guys watch as pike comes over in her robeand sits down next to it. you touch your symboland reach out and touch the body. and all of a sudden,you watch as the chest rises again. "(rasping inhale)" you hear this horrible sucking soundas air is brought into the chest cavity. he doesn't breathe out,he just holds the air in, and the deformed, wrecked,bone shard-pierced face that once was this assassin,which you can see now,
it looks to beloosely elvish in appearance, or at least there'ssome essence of elvish to its form, but the eyes are gone,the eyes are just mush. it slowly sits upand turns towards you, pike, going, "(rasping groans)" ashley: who sent you? matt: "(slowly) hotis..." ashley: hotis. matt: "...hired us."
ashley: what was - laura, liam, and travis:(overlapping) hotis hired us. ashley: hotis hired us. what is your organization? matt: "we run the clasp in stillben." sam: stillben. travis: the clasp in stillben.laura: sheesh. ashley: three more questions. travis: how did the rakshasaknow to find us here?
how did hotis know. ashley: how did hotis knowto find us here? matt: "i don't know. "he had information. "he led us here.instructed our strikes." sam: how many men?taliesin: how many of them were there? ashley: how many of you were there? matt: "we were 6 in total." liam: you've got one more question.
taliesin: where were they allsupposed to meet when everything was finished? travis: or who would know more than him? liam: who would know more?laura: who is his boss or something? ashley: who his boss was?travis: or who does he report to? laura: within the clasp.who does he report to in the clasp? liam: who gives you your orders? ashley: who gives you your orders? laura: (whispering) within the clasp.ashley: within the clasp?
matt: (chuckling) that's a fine - laura: i have one job on this ship. ashley: i have one job -laura and travis: it's stupid - ashley and travis:(shouting) - but i'm going to do it! travis: so good.ashley: yes. matt: "spireling veekar. (groans)" marisha: veekar. matt: and with that,the last bit of air that had been trappedin the chest cavity
has been utilizedand the body (rasping groan) goes back to its still rest,no longer moving, no longer puppeteeredby your divine energies. travis: i'll take care of this. marisha: veekar.laura: spireling veekar. taliesin: so i think we have 4 dead bodies.we're missing 2, then? laura: wait, 4 dead bodies? wait - sam: wait, there's kashaw's.taliesin: kashaw's? oh. laura: plus kima's.
taliesin: mine, yours - laura and taliesin: gilmore's. matt: and gilmore's like, "(weak chuckle)i actually have one that's pretty rough "in my place right now." liam: he got akira'd. matt: "i got a little angry." laura: did you kill one or two? marisha: so the only onethat's missing in action
is the onethat i shoved out the window? taliesin: and we're waiting for newson whether that one - matt: "is there one that was left alive?" marisha: well, there was onethat was shoved out a window, so hopefully he died. matt: "we'll find out."travis: hm. sloppy. liam: broke his legsand his heart never woke. marisha: i heard that, grog. travis: oh. (ahem) i said. super.
laura: (laughs) good save. matt: "all right. drinks? please?" sam: at some point, percy,ask gilmore about that robe. taliesin: oh, yeah. i still actually have it,it occurs to me. i haven't put it down yet. matt: (laughs) he's holding itlike a pair of soiled underpants, all - taliesin: i've actuallybeen using bad news like a - marisha: like a surrender flag?
taliesin: like spindle. like a bindle. marisha: there you go.taliesin: hobo. marisha: hobo bindle. taliesin: this was given to vax. it was mystical.it was attached to your skin. liam: peeling the skin off my flesh. matt: "(shudders)" he takes it for a second.he puts his hand over and his eyes flicker for a secondwith a spark of arcane energy
and he sits back. "no, this is indeeda cursed robe. "it's a robe of flaying." laura: a robe of flaying?!travis: flaying? sam and laura: gross.ashley: yikes. sam: is it worth anything? matt: "(chuckles)to the right people, maybe." liam: the clasp, yeah.sam: well, why don't you take it? matt: "oh, i don't want to haveany hand in this type of business.
"i'm sorry. i dealwith above-the-board magical items. "you've gone creative with me,but even that was relatively harmless. "this slowly takes the skinoff of its wearer. "i don't wish to have thispart of my repertoire." ashley: if we destroy it, though,would that hurt vax? matt: "well,if you've removed it from him, "then the enchantment's been broken." sam: so does it - do you have to -anyone you put it on, it curses them? liam: it sticks.it's like fucking flypaper.
sam: keep that robe. (laughs)travis: yeah. travis: i'll keep it. laura: in the bag of holding?travis: yeah. liam: yeah, it's not a bad idea. laura: don't play with it, grog.travis: why? laura: just don't put it onbecause you think it will be fun. liam: you look way better mostly naked,so don't - travis: i'm not putting my bitswhere vax's were. i'll just keep it in the bag.
liam: ow, that hurts my feelings. laura: percy? taliesin: yes? laura: are your guardsvery well-trained in tracking? taliesin: i honestly don't know.i haven't been here. but we hunt. we are... everybody here hunts. laura: trinket has their scent.i mean, i can send him to help. taliesin: that's a great idea.that's a brilliant idea. yes, please.
we also, i might add, in theory,have a wolf patrolling the area. travis: yes, baldrick's somewhere. taliesin: and i'm sure he's awarethat there's a commotion. liam: i walk over to gilmore for a second. liam: shaun, you know - sorry.matt: "ah. yes?" liam: wait, wait, wait.hey, hand that over, big guy. matt: "but of course."liam: yeah, thank you. matt: "you've certainly earned it." liam: you know everything about everything.
matt: "(stuttering) i wouldn't sayi know everything about everything." liam: it's close.matt: "between the two of us," matt: and he motions toward allura. "pretty sure we know everything,but she more than i." liam: i can agree with that.we found this in a tomb. laura: what are you pointing at? sam: his pec. marisha: your heart?laura: your boob? liam: my fucking rock-hard pec.the armor. i tap the armor,
as you fucking very well knew, laura bailey. i kind of understand it.can you tell anything about it? laura: other than the factthat it smells really bad? liam: shush, yeah,it does smell bad. scanlan gave me some patchoulito rub on it, but it only does half the job. what can you tell me about it?it belonged to a god. matt: he takes a minuteand walks around you, looking at the armor up and down.
looking at you up and down a little bit.but mostly at the armor. his eyes flare a few timeswith arcane sparks. "this is a powerful vestige,my friend. "this has existed for quite some time,and you've - "well, there's certainlya bit of dark divine energy around it. "it looks like it has the capability "to resist most elementswhen given the instruction, "and it safeguardsthe life of the bearer "and it looks likethere's some sort of a -
"tell you what. follow me." liam: yeah? matt: and he stops and he goes, "it's really me this time!follow me." liam: i know it is. matt: "all right." and he walks outsideof the front of the castle to the walkway, stepping over the crimson smearthat once was the one assassin. and he walks up to the edge
of the sheer cliffsthat are on each side of that walkway and the elevated, cleaved mountainthe castle was built on. he walks upto the very edge with you and goes, "do you trust me?" liam: (quietly) i do. matt: as soon as you look down, you feel a thrustas he pushes you off the cliff. at that moment, you suddenly,instinctively, look up and from outsidethe back of the armor, (fwwsh) -
travis: what?!marisha: oh. matt: - these giant black raven wingsspill out from the sides. laura: wait, so you could have flownwhen you came out of the dragon? liam: only if i know how to work it.laura: (gasps) matt: you get the sense that this feature to the armorwas only recently - laura: oh, shit.travis: oh, fucking shit. travis: get it, archangel. matt: you go from falling
to swooping over the foreston the outside of whitestone. sam: oh, he's the crow! he's the crow!laura: what the fuck? laura: he can fly? he can fucking fly?! liam: after doing that, i double backand i fly up that same cliff and i lift gilmore up in the sky. matt: "(startled noise)" liam: (shouting) you fuckingbrilliant bastard! thank you. thank you. (sighs) this is embarrassing.
i float us back down. matt: you can see he's a little nervous,but he's smiling. "(nervous laughter)" liam: sorry. matt: "thank you. no, it's all right.i would have been fine." liam: you are a dear, dear friend.you are a dear friend. and i give him a big diagonal hug.a long, strong hug. matt: he freezes for a moment, still figuring out his boundarieswith the dynamic being what it is,
but eventually he gives inand you feel his arms take you in as well, and you guys have this long, honest,connecting hug. and as this happens,the wings also wrap around and envelop the both of you. travis: good moment.laura: (frustrated) it's so ridiculous. travis: he's alive. let it go. matt: and then time seems to passfor a minute and as you release him,the wings (fluttering sound) scatter into black feathers in the windand disappear.
sam: (whispering) wow.laura: (frustrated noise) matt: he steps away from youand you can see there's just a little streakdown the side of his face. and he reaches upand smacks you on the cheek a little bit. "glad you're all right." liam: i am a great ally to you. and if you need any favors,i am your friend. matt: "that goes both ways.don't forget that." laura: i walk up and i -
liam: ow! where were you,what the fuck - oh, you're - laura: you flying fuck. you flying fuck! liam: i forgot you were a rogue. yeah... laura: (angry noise) i mean,congratulations, it's really cool! liam: that broom is really cool.that you stole. laura: if i didn't fall off of it.you have fucking wings! jesus. i walk away. liam: vex'ahlia.matt: (laughs) liam: i follow her and i stop herand i give her a hug and i say,
liam: "i love you."laura: (angry groan) liam: i love you. i love you. i love you. (whispering) and i'll beless of a fuckwit lately, i promise. laura: really?liam: (whispering) yeah. laura: all right.liam: yeah. laura: i love you, too.i'm glad you're not dead. marisha: keyleth has beenin the door frame, watching all this happen.i'm in the door frame. taliesin: i'm slowly -i'm going to walk in
and have a momentand look vax over. liam: hey, shaun? once in a while? all the time? matt: "oh, that's once every dawn,that can return to you." laura: oh. i'm gladi didn't push you off the cliff! i almost did.wow, good to know. matt: (laughing)that would have been really funny. liam: that would have been hilarious. travis: holy shit. holy shit.
ashley: (laughs) you dick. (gasps) matt: it's for up to an hour,it can last, just so you're aware. but once per day,you give yourself a fly speed of 60. liam: 60. same speed as my sister.laura: no, i'm less, aren't i? liam: thank you, shaun-slash-matt. taliesin: there's one last thing. and i walk up and i look you over and i pull outthe raven head cloak clasp and i pin it to hold the cloak together.
and it's very deep, pitted silverwith a slight ruby tinge to it. and it smells fabulous. and it smells betterthe more you sweat. and it smells of the raven queen's temple. now talk to keyleth. i'm counting on you. good luck. and i walk away. liam: (yelling after him)you're hard to read, man! taliesin: i know!
travis: cask of ale is outand the ale is flowing. laura: oh, shit! shit. tracking the guy. sam: have the guards reported yet? matt: by this time,some of the guards have come back, reporting that they haven'tseen anything yet. there are folks that were followingthe tracks into the forest, but the tracks have mostly gone cold. whoever it is knows how to not be found.it's part of their job. sam: you could spend the nighttracking him.
laura: i could.sam: or we could just drink. marisha: or we could just drink. we know who the fucker was.we know who he's going back to. travis: yep. laura: we know he's goingback to stillben. marisha: to spireling veekar.we know where he's headed. taliesin: you guysare going to drink for a bit? liam: i'll do whatever you do. taliesin: i'm going to go outpast the wall
and see if i can yell for the wolf. marisha: galdrick.taliesin: galdrick. matt: galdrick. all right. taliesin: i’m bringing a swathfrom one of the - matt: okay. you shout outfor about 10, 15 minutes or so before you hear a distant howl. (howl) taliesin: galdrick! matt: a few more moments passbefore you hear (panting). coming upfrom the outside of the forest,
the large gray dark wolf.(padding footfalls) taliesin: i show the blood-soaked chunk. matt: "(sniffs)" taliesin: there were six. now there’s one. if you find him,we would be forever grateful. matt: "(licks chops)" licks his deep,pearly-white bladed incisors and turns around and - "(grunts)" -
takes off into the forestat triple-speed. taliesin: now i’m going to go upand have a drink. travis: triple-speed, damn.that’s a fast-ass wolf. matt: all right.you all at these twilight hours find yourselves gatheringyour friends and allies for a long-needed drinkuntil the sun begins to rise. you all appreciate the friendshipthat you’ve maintained, the survival of thosethat were endangered, and eventually find yourself,rather tipsy,
finding your way back to bed, this time with quadruple the guardsat the door - laura: fully armored.matt: - of each of your rooms, resting. matt: we’ll take a quick break. we’ll be back hereto get to the next bit of this episode. see you guys here in a few minutes. [critical role resumes at 2:34:15] matt: welcome back! so. as you guys find yourselfhaving a good night’s sleep,
waking up restfully around middayto the early afternoon here in whitestone. everyone except for you, vax. you, as you went to sleep, found,as opposed to a restful night, especially given the circumstance, a perpetual onslaughtof terrible nightmares recapping the events of the night beforewith alternate possibilities, looking and seeing gilmoreplunging the blade into your stomach, seeing your friends and familytorn apart by demons called forth by this rakshasareturning for vengeance.
you were tossing and turningand woke up sweaty. unfortunately, you do notget the benefits of a full rest. so you're still at the hit point valuethat you had before. liam: and i can't use hit dice, right?ashley: what? matt: you can use hit dice. liam: i can use hit dice?matt: yeah. ashley: i can also heal you. liam: i think it might be more than that.i feel weird. i feel really weird. i'm going to have some -i'm going to have -
what's the d&d term for bloody mary? i need a mimosa or a bloody maryand i'm going to take a rest. marisha: a little hair of the dog? liam: and use some hit dice. travis: technically, hair of the dogwould be poisoning him again this morning. marisha: oh, yeah. yeah.travis: which we can do. marisha: which we could do.you never know. matt: you actually take the timeto go ahead and rest up, and even then,your body's just restless.
liam: hit dice does nothing? matt: you find yourselfunable to spend those, either. you're basically rocking in place and playing over the imagery in your mindover and over again, and there's a perpetual cold sweatacross your brow. laura: can i go knock on his doorin the morning? laura: can i knock?matt: yeah. laura: brother?liam: what? laura: sorry. i don't mean to disturb you.i just feel really guilty.
i just wanted to say sorry for being mad at youfor being able to fly, because i'm actuallyreally impressed and proud of you, and i'm glad you're not dead. laura: is all i wanted to say.liam: i open the door, scratching my arm. laura: what the fuck is wrong with you? liam: i don't feel very well.laura: you smell better. liam: (sighs) i'm justgoing to ignore that. could you do me a favor,if you really feel so special to me.
could you get allura for me, maybe?send allura to my room. laura: i mean, yeah,she's not in the castle, but i can find - liam: where does she - where is -yeah, you've got a broom. liam: could you go fly over there?laura: yeah, no fucking - liam: you can flyas much as you want, all day. liam: all day long, right?laura: this is true. laura: i will go find allura for you as an apologyfor being a dick last night. and i fly offand i go try to find allura.
matt: you come to allura's home - liam: i go have diarrheain the chamber pot in my room. matt: okay. ugh. travis: talk to your daggerswhile you do it. marisha: (laughs) yeah. matt: you make your way back to the housewhere allura's been staying and knock on the door. door opens. kima's there. laura: oh. hi, dear.
matt: "hi. you guys rest okay?everything all right?" laura: oh, yes -matt: "any problems?" matt: she grabs her maulfrom the side of the door. laura: no, no, everything's great.is allura in here, as well? matt: "yeah, she's -would you like some coffee?" laura: i would love some. matt: as you come inside,you can smell coffee brewing. marisha: i've got time. matt: you see alluracomes out of the kitchen area
of this home that she's staying in. "oh, hi!" laura: hi! matt: "i'll get another cup." laura: thank you. matt: and she leaves. liam: does she havethat beautiful but messy morning hair that takes two hours to prep for a movie? matt: actually, no. her hair is perfect.
marisha: oh, yeah. i'm sure.laura: of course it is. liam: fucking wizards. laura: prestidigitation. marisha: fucking blow-outsevery morning. matt: no, she - yeah.way too well put together for being this early in the conscious day. laura: i look at kima.how the fuck does she do it? matt: "i know, you're telling me, right?"laura: right? matt: "it's obnoxious. (sighs)"
liam: (singing) i say bitch...marisha: (cracks up) matt: she brings coffee back and sets it in the centerof this serving table for guests. you start drinking the coffee.it's very well put on, nice and sweet. "so, what -" laura: oh! i forgot.i came here for a reason. my brother is shaken up from last night, and i think he might bea little worried about - i don't know, he sent me to find you.
i'm not exactly sure what's going on,but he looked terrible, and he thoughtmaybe you would be able to help? matt: "it was a very rough night." liam: i mean, you're not a cleric, but -i don't know, he seemed to thinkhe could use your help. matt: "let's go have a look, then." and so they go aheadand they walk back with you. laura: i'm going to catch up.you get a head start. i'm just going to get some more coffee.
matt: (laughs) it's good coffee. travis: you hear a whisperfrom the coffee mug saying, "i own you." laura: i know you do, darling.i know you do. ashley: you didn't perception checkthe cup! liam: find my dominoes. they’re here. ashley: what's he looking up?laura: i don't know. matt: eventually,you've found your way wandering through the hallto get some food, sunken sockets. grog passes by you in the hallway,
and you see vax,hand against the wall, walking by,looking dazed and a little weary. travis: you all right, mate? liam: i've got the shits. travis: oh. like, the shits or the twirls? liam: bad - what's the difference? travis: the shits it's just one end,the other, both. north, south, all at the same time.it's like a relay race. liam: i know what you mean now. yes.travis: yeah.
liam: well, i was just - you know,i might be crossing that threshold. and i jump into a side door - liam: - and send it out both sides.two exits, no waiting. matt: oh. travis: (laughing) oh, shit. amazing. ashley: (dryly) wow,i've never heard of that. matt: you proudly hear,through the doorway. liam: this happened to mewhen i was six, by the way. i'm talking about liam, not vax.
travis: if you've had the twirls,you never forget them. matt: all right. as time passes,eventually your sister, allura, and kima make their way towards youto go ahead and check in. laura: is he still in the toiletor did he get out yet? matt: he's made his way out.laura: okay. matt: allura takes a look at you. "you certainly don't look well." liam: (hoarsely) i'm having really bad -i had bad dreams all night long. i relived the moment from last night
and i've got really bad...bathroom etiquette. matt: "it might belingering enchantment from the robe. "let me try something." and she pulls back and thumbs mentallythrough some sort of index in her head and brings her hand up. "eras to no est." and begins drawingthis strange glyph in the air, that where her finger traces,you can see a slight sparkle falls behind
before it forges some sort of a letterthat you don't recognize, and it passes through you (foomf), and as it gets through, you can't helpbut to get pushed back for a second. "do you feel any different?" liam: (fart noise) matt: no change,from what you can tell. still just... bad place. liam: wait a minute. wait a minute.(sighs) i'm new to this, but - can i cast lay on hands on myself?
liam: pray to my god. it's the worst. can you help? matt: the effect hits and intends to remove any poison,disease circumstance. no change in physical presence. liam: (whispering) fuck.ashley: (whispering) what the fuck? matt: "kima, have you any ideas?" "here! let me have a look at you." she pulls you down to her position,just pushing your eyelids open.
travis: yeah, be very thorough. matt: "grog, do youwant to help me with this?" travis: yep, absolutely.open your mouth, stick out your tongue. liam: you're notgoing to slip me the digit, are you? travis: stick out your tongue!matt: "i'm not going to." travis: i grab his tongue.liam: aaah! travis: kima, you see anything in there?any bumps? mumps? liam: (groans)matt: "just seems tired to me." travis: pull his tongue a little bit more.
liam: aaah! (garbled) grog!travis: i release, i release. liam: ohhh, fuck. ashley: can i wake upand come out into the hallway? marisha: i'll join pike. matt: you guys walk out and see as allura sits backwith a slight chuckle next to vex, as you see both grog and kimamanhandling a very exhausted-looking vax in the center of the hallway. liam: oh, it's funny to you, eh?
ashley: what are you guys looking for? travis: oh, vax doesn't feel well. he shit and pukedall over the area in the back. marisha: oh no!ashley: can i check him? marisha: was it the crab cakes? liam: i didn't have those. matt: you want to make a medicine check?ashley: yeah. taliesin: i ate them, and i was fine. marisha: really?the crab cakes messed with me a little.
sam: i'm reading this whole time.just reading and reading. matt: you hear this echo in the distanceof him shitting himself. and you're like, "eh." ashley: 23. matt: 23. you push kima asideand take a very intense look at his body. ashley: move aside, move aside, move aside. matt: "oh." very intense look over. physically, there does not appearto be any ailment to him, whatsoever.
there are traces of exhaustion in him, and you do have a point of exhaustion,by the way, for a lack of evening's rest. but there's no signsof onset of splotchiness or diseases. there's no pulsingor darkened vein marks. nothing physical. ashley: no poison? marisha: what did you try on him, pike? ashley: medicine check. laura: are you cursed? is he cursed?
marisha: i go up to vax.does he still have the brooch on? matt: the broochthat was given to him by percy. marisha: i look at it.matt: okay. taliesin: i can tell you what is in there.it's nothing fancy. travis: you're killing him. marisha: is this the skull i gave you? taliesin: well, it's a cast of -the skull you gave me is still in my bag. marisha: you cast it? wow.taliesin: i did. marisha: that's impressive.taliesin: thank you.
laura: my brother, puking his guts out.marisha: sorry. liam: not right now (retch). taliesin: oh, god.marisha: ooh. allura, what did you try? taliesin: did he just throw up everywhere? liam: no, i stopped it. liam: (moans)taliesin: let it out. let it out. matt: "i attempted to dispel, "in case there was any spellthat was still sustained on him." marisha: kima, did you try restoration?
matt: kima goes, "not really my specialtyat the moment. my apologies." ashley: i'll do it. i'll do it. marisha: i've gotgreater restoration learned. ashley: we could try. marisha: pike and i will tag-teama greater restoration. liam: (groans) travis: percy, if you're feeling gross,you can imagine - go examine the leftovers over there.
taliesin: is there some vomitin the corner? travis: yep, yep. just make sureyou crawl in on your hands and knees. taliesin: i'm going to go poke at it just to see if there's anything in therethat looks funny. liam: only some of it is vomit. taliesin: i'm well-aware.i have siblings, i've seen this before. liam: (laughs) matt: and so as percy has wandered offat this time, you guys both hold hands and channel,through both of your abilities,
the greater restoration spell. suddenly,you feel like this dark hook that was in the center of your beingis lifted. and as it dissipates,you're still exhausted, and still lostan entire evening's worth of rest, but whatever was keeping youin that nightmarish realm of stasis seems to have been dispelled. liam: how's my intestines? matt: better. tired.
your midsection is very sorefrom the constant flexing. marisha: did pike and i notice anything when we ripped out this darknessfrom his chest? matt: you gatherthat there was some curse that had taken hold of his body. laura: ah! he was cursed.ashley: yeah, he was cursed. marisha: like, by the rakshasa, probably? matt: you gather, probably something to dowith the rakshasa, yeah.
laura: grog, can i have your jugfor a moment? travis: why?laura: i just want to get some water. travis: what kind of water?laura: regular-ass water. travis: i'll do it.laura: not ass-water. just regular water. travis: could i havesome ass-water, please? laura: no, no. just regular water, grog.ashley: no, grog. travis: regular water, please? matt: jug fills up with clear, cool water. laura: drink this.liam: all of it?!
laura: yeah. liam: are you surethat won't make me throw up, as well? laura: you're very dehydrated, seriously.ashley: as much as you can. taliesin: there's no signs of poisoningin any of the remains, is there? liam: (gulping sounds) matt: no. in fact, you spend probably a good 3 to 4 minutespushing through vax refuse while nobody else has thoughtto actually come and stop you when they've already figured outwhat the problem was.
taliesin: that's fine. marisha: hey, percy! travis: he still feels bad, keep looking!marisha: hey, percy, you find anything? marisha: sorry, haven't found anything yet, percy. keep going. it might be clues. taliesin: it will take -if i don't see anything in 3 minutes - matt: roll a medicine check. taliesin: awful people. that's a 14.
travis: find a toy car... matt: it seemsfairly standard bile and excrement. taliesin: nothing, nothing, no poison. marisha: find anything, percy?taliesin: (annoyed) no. marisha: oh.maybe you should keep looking. matt: no signs of parasites, nothing. liam: are there any feathers?laura: percival! matt: there is one feather. marisha: do a litmus test.is it basic or acid? we don't know.
laura: percival, stop. he was cursed. taliesin: i can actually have everybodykilled in their sleep. this is actually one of the perksof sleeping here. i don't even have to do it myself. i come out and i'm - travis: are you done with the jug?can i have that back, please? taliesin: (shudders) travis: thank you. liam: grog, does that thing make mimosas?laura: oh!
marisha: ooh!travis: mimosas? laura: or bloody marys?taliesin: mimosas. travis: well, there's one way to find out. mimosas, please. matt: no effect.travis: shit. laura: ask for bloody marys. bloody marys. travis: bloody marys, please. matt: no effect.travis: fuck! laura: does it not work anymore?ask for mayonnaise. travis: look, you puta lot of stress on it, all right?
it made your ass-water just fine. ashley: can you ask for some ale? travis: no, i think it only worksfor a little bit every day. laura: aw. travis: you could try it. ashley: ale? laura: please. matt: (fwssh) fills with dark ale. travis: holy shit, you're magic!marisha: oh, we just found a loophole!
laura: good job!travis: (laughing) monster magic! ashley: i drink someand then pass it over. sam: does it make mixed drinks? taliesin: we hardly can make cocktails. laura: oh, that's probably bad for youright now, but that's all right. taliesin: no, this breakfast beeris perfectly reasonable. marisha: it needs to goto a bartending class. ashley: hair of the wolf. taliesin: his face touched that.i'm just dipping in.
liam: so studious.travis: oh, you're reading. matt: at this point,you hear a guard's voice shout, "hail, vox machina!downstairs, please." taliesin: oh, god. travis: we did your - give me the jug. don't you fucking hold onto that, percy,you give it back right now. taliesin: i take one more big sipand toss it at him. liam: oh, catch it!travis: i catch it. matt: scanlan,are you still reading this morning?
sam: i mean, i'd tell everyone, "call me if it's important.i've got to do this." matt: okay.did you get a full night's rest, though? sam: i did. matt: okay, yeah,so your exhaustion point is gone. all right. so you guys head downstairs. travis: yep.laura: yeah. matt: as you get there,the front gates to whitestone castle - no, the front doorsto the main entranceway
are partially openand the guards are waiting there as you see a shadow step infrom the outside daylight. laura: it's a guy? marisha: i light up my hands in defense. matt: you see step insideto the center of the castle, a very large, dark-furred wolfcarrying something within his jaws. travis: good boy. matt: drops down on the groundanother dark-cloaked figure. marisha: is he still alive?
matt: he is not alive. there is a snapped neckon this individual. laura: good job! matt: you can see a series of scrapesacross the face. this person, as you go and inspect, had been rushing quicklythrough the forest and had taken a number of small injuriesin the haste to escape. however, could not escapethe ever-watching vigil. ashley: ah!laura: fuck, yeah.
travis: i mean, we might as welllet him keep his prize. taliesin: oh, it's all his. check the body for bitsand then the rest is his. laura: i want to check the bodyto see if i can find anything useful. matt: okay, yeah. you actually find about 320 gold pieceson the body. sam: did we inspectany of the other bodies? marisha: no, we didn't. laura: there was a lot going on.
matt: you find 6 vials of poison. laura: whoa.liam: give that shit to me. sam: what kind? just poison?marisha: fuck yeah. matt: you're not too familiarwith poisons. vax would be.he could have a look at it. laura: and you said 300 gold? travis: 320.matt: 300 gold. matt: and you find what looks to bea fist-sized glass sphere. laura: a what-sized glass sphere?marisha: glass sphere?
matt: fist-sized glass sphere, about that big. taliesin: it might be a gazing sphere.be careful. keep it under cover. keep it wrapped in something. liam: i want to walk outtowards our beast here and hold out my hand. matt: he walks up to you. (sniffs)smells your hand, and steps into it. he head-butts the palm of your handand then runs his head under it. ashley: oh. percy, can i touch him? matt: there's a familiar scent.
you can seethere's an immediate familiarity with you that wasn't there before. laura: oh, it's the raven queen.her champion. liam: i just scrooch under his giant neck. you want to be friends with me? matt: you can see the eyes,dark and piercing into you. liam: you be strong, i'll be fast. you be strong and fast.i'll be fast. (shooka shooka shooka)
travis: go give him a pet, pike. ashley: can i put my hand out to him? matt: he glances towards you. liam: she's all right. she's all right. matt: you put your hand out? ashley: yeah. matt: "(sniff sniff)"he sniffs your hand. matt: "(snorts)"ashley: oh! ashley: can i try scratching at his ear?
matt: you do,and he seems to begrudgingly give into it. ashley: (laughs) i go, "ohhh." ashley: i love him.travis: sourpuss. laura: can i check out the spherethat i'm looking at? travis: baldrick, thank you.you are free to do with this as you will. matt: "(grunt, chomp)" he picks it up in his jaws againand starts walking outside. spits it on the outside of the grounds,rolling off the edge.
it doesn't go completely off, but one of the legsis dangling off the side, and the guards wait there,then take it and pull it away. the wolf's not going to eatthe dead body. but it's done. he's done his job. he takes it out of the castle,gets it out of your way, and then begins to step back downthe walkway path south of the castle, making his way back towards whitestoneand the surrounding forest. taliesin: good boy. good boy.
laura: i shake it. matt: you shake it.you actually look inside. there's a cloudy liquid at the center of it. when it was at rest,it had no real motion, but as you shake it,it swirls on the inside. laura: oh, shit!i made something happen. liam: bloop. outlook shady. matt: (laughs) marisha: you found a magic 8-ball!
travis: signs point to yes.liam: (laughs) taliesin: we'll stop by gilmore'son our way back up to the front hall. laura: allura, do you know what this is? matt: she takes a look at it. there's a little sparkleof arcane energy in her eyes again. you're starting to get the theme here. there is a specific spell that she's usingto identify these objects. you've seen it done before. she takes a look at it and goes,
"well, i can seewhy this would be very useful "for a member of the clasp. "it's a scrying eye." matt: and she throws it back to you.laura: (gasps) marisha: it's a scry - what? liam and sam: a scrying eye.laura: a scrying eye? marisha: oh, yeah. sure. matt: when you take, essentially,10 minutes to focus on the eye, you can scry as per the spell.
but it can only be used for 10 minutesand it cannot be used until the next dawn. marisha: can it be used by anybody? matt: well, in theory. you'll have to find out. taliesin: and what can it see, precisely? laura: this fist-sized glass sphere - matt: anything a scrying spell could.marisha: it works like scrying. laura: you can scry...oh, you can scry for anything. matt: as per the spell. once per day. liam: what she does to waste a spell,you can do as a freebie.
and you're so nosy,so it's perfect for you. laura: it actually is really perfect. taliesin: that's disquieting. excellent. laura: i really, really like this thing. matt: you can see allura.her face gets a little stern at this. "this is precisely the issuewe have here. "if they could scry information,anyone can. "which is whyi'm going to get with gilmore "and go and get together with the restof the arcane minds here in whitestone,
"and we're going to try to ward this placefrom any sort of intrusion. "if possible, i'd like to blanketthis entire area with illusion. "i'd like it so those who should not knowthat whitestone even exists do not." liam: is there anything we can do to help? matt: "honestly, do what you're doing. "although, i may need some aidfrom you, there." and she looks towards you, pike,and says, "if we're going to find outwhere this rakshasa is "and how to head it off at the passin the coming weeks,
"i think your divine naturewould be of great aid. "you and keeper yennan.between the two of you, "i think we could map outa plot to head it off at the pass, "and when you return and are ready,head into the hells ourselves "and take it down while there's still time." ashley: i would be glad to help.matt: "all right." ashley: it's okay.i can come back to you guys at any time. liam: what do you mean? marisha: but you're so important, pike.
ashley: well, i don't know.marisha: we tend to need you a lot. laura: we can give her one of the stones.marisha: yeah. ashley: any time you need me.(laughs) ish. i will try to be there. laura: (laughs)liam: here. you take this. ashley: a sending stone? liam: should you need us.laura: yeah, should you need us. ashley: oh. marisha: i have the other one, currently. ashley: okay. i'll keep this with me.marisha: okay.
travis: yeah,you keep practicing to be a monster. ashley: okay, i will, grog.travis: okay. ashley: i'm a monster!travis: yeah! matt: so you write down "gate stone"on your inventory. taliesin: (quietly) she's staying in whitestone while we do our work. (louder) thank youfor keeping my home safe. ashley: you're welcome.taliesin: thank you. (sighs) marisha: well,at least it's not as far as vasselheim. travis: no.
laura: that's true.ashley: no, it's not. taliesin: we won't be gone long. ashley: no. and maybei'll meet you very soon. ashley: i'll just help out where i can. we got him once. i can get him again. travis: yeah.laura: (cackles) ashley: (laughs)matt: "as you can." travis: dragon-slayerand rakshasa-slayer. ashley: i'm a monster.
matt: "all right.where are you off to, then?" taliesin: i'd say one moreproper night's sleep, then into the feywild. laura: the feywild. travis: feywild? taliesin: we've seenwhat the vestiges can be. i think they're...terribly important. and we can returnfrom the feywild immediately and in theory,be right back here when we're finished,
and perhaps by then we'll have an avenue of attackto this rakshasa. laura: and we can just pop on in therebecause of you, keyleth. marisha: yes. liam: we're going to make you a beast. laura: oh. sure.marisha: beefing up the twins. liam: yeah.ashley: yeah. laura: yeah.liam: beast. laura: let's find it.
marisha: i go up to pike. marisha: can we take a quick walk?ashley: of course. marisha: before we take off? taliesin: i figure we would takeone full night's sleep - marisha: before i take us in? okay. taliesin: we leave at dawn? ashley: we plan at dawn?marisha: plan at dawn? (laughs) taliesin: we plan at dawn.marisha: we plan to leave at dawn. taliesin: we plan to leave at dawn.
travis: you thought it was stupidwhen i said it, but what? ashley: they learned.travis: (laughs) taliesin: right on thirty is fine,if you say 9:00, 9:30. marisha: yeah. 9:00, 9:30.we plan ahead. taliesin: barring traffic. marisha: okay,i'm going to take a walk with pike. laura: you just have a trapper-keeperfull of appointments? matt: you just walk down the pathfrom whitestone castle? marisha: yeah, whatever.we take a nice stroll around the sun tree.
matt: all right, so you guysstart making your way down towards whitestone proper. as you walk along the way... marisha: i don't know, really,how to start this conversation. (sighs) i guess i just wanted to talk to you, and maybe you can givea little bit of insight and help clear my head. marisha: and i didn't think about ituntil we were in scanlan's spa the other day, and you said you were really confused,
and i'm really confused,and i didn't know you were confused because i feel likeif i knew you were confused, then i wouldn't feel so badabout being confused because we're confused together. ashley: i feel confused... all the time. marisha: do you? i do, too!ashley: yes! ashley: just in a perpetual stateof confusion. marisha: the world is so big.ashley: i think that's just what life is. marisha: (sighs) right.the world's really big.
ashley: yeah.marisha: very confusing. laura and liam: (laugh) marisha: i guess i just - i've always respected youand looked up to you, and... you're a cleric of sarenrae,but you still seem to be very much in controlof your life and your destiny, and you seem to knowwhere you're going. (boxes fall offscreen) marisha: fucking...(shouts) assassin!
matt: you look around and you see a boy holding a wheelbarrow nearby is picking up a bunch of fruitthat had fallen out. "i'm terribly sorry.didn't mean to bother you." he puts them back inand keeps wheeling on. ashley: it's all right. it's okay. marisha: i've always loved,"my cabbages!" matt: "my cabbages!" yes. marisha: anyway,
sorry, it was distract - loud noises. ashley: it's okay.i feel like maybe i just look that way, because i don't feel likei have much of anything together, or know where i'm going. marisha: (laughs) i guessthat's probably all of us. marisha: i guess i just -i'm a little curious on how your relationshipwith sarenrae works, because it doesn't necessarilyseem like she... is in control of you. ashley: no.
marisha: or has dominion over you. ashley: it's an interesting thing.i think... she just helps when we need her,or when i need her, and i think for the rest of the time,she just - marisha: does her own thing? ashley: - does her own thing.marisha: yeah. ashley: it was interesting going to the templeof the raven queen. she seems... very interesting to me.
marisha: how do you mean? ashley: i don't know. marisha: like more...ashley: she's just very involved. marisha: involved? yeah. ashley: but maybe that's - maybe that's because vaxhas fully given himself to her. marisha: would you say you haven't fully given yourselfto sarenrae? ashley: (hesitantly) i think i try to,
but there's alwaysthat little part of me that thinks... or has doubt? so i don't know. marisha: growing up in the ashari tribe,we were taught that the gods mind their own businessand we mind our own. i don't have any disrespect for them, but also want to... tread lightly. ashley: yeah. i think that'sa very good way to handle it. marisha: okay. i don't know.
i guess i don't knowwhat i really wanted to find. i guess misery loves company. marisha: it feels betterknowing i'm not the only one confused. ashley: yes, there are two confused soulsin the world. i'm sure there are so many more. marisha: i confuse you? ashley: yeah. (laughs) hugs. marisha: hugs. well. i'm beginning to get the idea
that we're going to beintermingling with gods a little bit more, so. ashley: i think we will. marisha: i guess it's something i'm going to have tostart getting comfortable with. ashley: i think you should. and i think... you shouldget comfortable with vax. laura: (laughs)marisha: (embarrassed) oh!
ashley: i think he really fancies you. marisha: (weakly) uh-huh? ashley: but don't be scared. marisha: i'm so terrified. ashley: just knowthat things are not forever... marisha: (sighs) i think that's my fear.ashley: and just have fun, you know? marisha: (weak laughter)i haven't had fun in a long time. ashley: well, you should. marisha: i should.
ashley: we all need a little fun. (chuckles) well, i'll see you very soon. marisha: you're always with us,wherever we go. marisha: (sighs) ashley: i love you. marisha: i love you. sam: when i heard she was leaving,i went out looking for pike, and i've come up to where they are. matt: they're both standingat the northern base of the sun tree
in the center of the town square. you see them huggingand give each other a kiss on the cheek. sam: (out of breath) oh, sorry.marisha: (shouting) assassin! sam: no, no, it's me.it's me. it's me. sorry. sorry. ashley: oh.marisha: haa - sure. sam: there wasa very frightened child over there with a bunch of fruit. ashley: oh, he just - marisha: i might havescreamed in his face.
ashley: yeah, we thoughthe was an assassin. marisha: assassin, yeah.sam: he was crying. sam: maybe you should go -here, take a gold piece. why don't you gobuy something from him? marisha: okay, yeah.what do you want? you want some limes?some grapefruit? sam: i love a good lime. marisha: you love a good lime?i'll go to him and get some limes. ashley: see if he has a choco taco or -
marisha: yeah, sure, yeah!yeah, yeah, okay. i'm going to go to the kid. matt: choco taco, by the way,is draconic for a fine cheese sandwichin wildmount. it's a delicacy. marisha: it's likeone of those traveling food carts? you've got to track them on social mediato see where he's going to be? matt: keyleth skips off in the direction - ashley: love you, kiki!
sam: pike, sorry.i didn't know we were parting ways. ashley: i know. maybe it won't be for long,but i think i should stay. sam: well, i respect that.i just wanted to - before we bid adieu, i wanted -i can't believe we're leaving you again. sam: it's so sad.ashley: i know. sam: but i just wantedto clear the air a bit. you know, a short while ago,i proposed marriage. i've been thinking about it a lot - ashley: i know. i did not forget.sam: - and i hope you have been, too.
ashley: yes. i have been thinking about it so much. marisha: about this time,i take the limes and i go, "(shouting) hey, pike! look! fun!" as i juggle them. marisha: i'm having fun! (forced laughter)ashley: i'm proud of you! taliesin: i feelthat this is a skill check. no. i spent too long in high schoollearning how to juggle. skill check. matt: make an acrobatics check.
marisha: (laughs) taliesin: no!that's not how it works. marisha: fuck you, percy,you're not here! taliesin: (laughs) travis: it's off the table.it's an automatic fail. marisha: it landed on a - liam: it's a fudge.it landed on a blanket on an angle. marisha: (laughs) what is it,just a straight dex? matt: acrobatics.marisha: acrobatics?
taliesin: sorry. sorry. i have - marisha: 10! matt: 10. the limes (thud)all over the ground. taliesin: thank you. marisha: (forced laughter)this is fun! i'll just keep going. matt: keyleth slowly backs away,realizing the moment. marisha: sorry! matt: goes to get less-bruised limes. sam: anyway, listen,
before you do what you're going to doand we're going to go off on our way, i just wanted to say that i am here to officiallyabsolve you of that proposal, and i rescind it.i was foolish to do so, and i don't want there to beany strings attached when we leave, and i think, really,with you on the cusp of parting ways and me seeing my daughterand everything, everything's come intoa bit of a clearer focus, and... i think i've always been in lovewith the idea of you.
you know, you're so perfectand beautiful and smart and - ashley: it was the hairy shoulders,wasn't it. sam: but i don't wantto love an idea. i want to love a girl. and i think in all of this timeof pining after you, i forgot to just hang out with youand know you as a person, and i'm sorry for that. ashley: that's okay, scanlan. sam: so i'm sorryfor objectifying you or whatever. laura and liam: (giggle)marisha: (laughing) "or whatever."
ashley: it's okay.these things happen. and maybe it wasn't the best time,and maybe someday in the future, we can just reconnoiter and see if we want to make a - just talk about it again, i guess. sam: we'll be friends.ashley: we'll be friends. sam: we'll be friends. listen, i will always love you, but i don't want this to bea barrier in our friendship anymore,
so i'm taking it off the table. and besides, all i really wantis to matter to someone, and i do now,and that's very new for me, and confusing, and exhilarating, and i've got to figure outhow to do it and, well, i'll work on that, and you workon whatever you're working on, and i will say this before we leave. i'm a little older than you,so i can give you some advice.
ashley: oh, i - okay. sam: i will say, speaking as someonewho has lost out on years of a relationshipwith someone i care deeply about, if you have someone out therethat you love, you should tell that person,or, at least, tell someone about it. it's a weightthat you're going to continue to bear, and you're going to miss outon months and years of either knowing or not knowing.
ashley: that's very true. sam: you don't have to tell me,but you're the bravest woman i know, and you should be brave enoughto just admit your feelings. ashley: (sighs) well, maybe - ashley: (stuttering) i'll think on it more. and just, yeah. i have to get - maybe i'll get more couragejust by staying here and, you know... but thank you for the advice,wise old man. liam: bulletproof to peer pressure.
sam: anyway, i just wanted to say - ashley: but you are very charming.i just wanted to tell you that. sam: ah. it's not happening, sorry. ashley: okay, okay. (extended laughter) sam: just so i'm clear. ashley: nothing.sam: off the table now. ashley: off the table. nothing. (others continue to laugh)
ashley: all right. well. sam: i'm sorry.i just have to let you down. ashley: it's really okay.(laughs) all right. sam: all right, well.oh! hugs? ashley: just a friend hug. sam: of course. of course. liam: careful you don't getvelcroed to her shoulders. matt: make another acrobatics check. marisha: (laughs) worse. 8.
i'm trying, pike!(crying) i'm having so much fun! ashley: it's okay! it's okay!we'll talk later. marisha: (crying) huh? ashley: can i - i'll just say byeto the rest of the group. laura: (unhappy noise) oh, oh.ashley: it's okay. ashley: you don't need to cry yet.laura: it’s all going so fast. ashley: maybe we'll see you very soon.laura: yeah, yeah, yeah. liam: are we going already? laura: i’m just so proud. ashley: wait, are we going alreadyor do we have the night?
taliesin: we have the night to sleepand we leave at dawn. ashley: sorry, i just wantedto give you a hug. laura: i just really wanted to hug you, too. ashley: yeah, becauseyou're one of my best friends and i needed to give you a hug. ashley: it's going to be fine.laura: yeah. ashley: i may be here next week. laura: you might. liam: i mean, do your work tomorrow.can't we get shitfaced one last time?
ashley: let's go get shitfaced.come on! laura: can i just - laura: (whispers) percy.taliesin: what? yes? laura: one quick question -taliesin: yes? laura: i don't want to bother youbecause i know there's a lot going on, but we're going into the feywild. laura: and... i'm really nervousabout this broom. taliesin: (irritably) do you seethe giant mess in front of me right now? laura: yeah?
taliesin: this is the thing for your broom. i'm sitting here while you were drinking,working on this. laura: (gasps) you were? taliesin: you will put a drink aside for me. taliesin: i will see youeither later tonight, if this goes very - actually, give me the broom.just give me the broom. laura: okay. well, all right, but - taliesin: i will either see youlater tonight, or i will see you in the morning.
laura: don't lose sleep over it.unless you really want to. but i don't wantto force you into anything. taliesin: this pains me. this pains me,and it must be put down. this must be put down and finished! laura: thank you, dear. taliesin: good night. taliesin: i'm goingto roll a tinker check, at some point. matt: yeah, yeah.
as you guys spend the restof the afternoon - which, you woke up late,for the most part, so the afternoon's pretty short. but as the sun sets here in whitestone,the cloud cover takes in once more, and a very light drizzlebegins to hit the rooftops, and you hear in the distance people finishing rebuilding the roofsthat were destroyed in the battle. some buildingsthat are starting to be put back up again. the city is definitely, over time,coming back to life.
you also knowthat throughout the day, you can see allura and gilmoreand the farseer eskil are beginningto mark areas in the town. you're not sure what for,but you gather it's probably preparation for their wards they're going to start putting upthroughout whitestone. during this time,you make your first tinker check. liam: roll to attach a baby bjorn? laura: (quietly) come on, come on.
taliesin: that's a 21. matt: 21? okay.working a good portion of the evening - taliesin: it's not my first roll at it,so, yeah. matt: yeah, you start makingsome decent headway. you get the stirrupswell-bolted into the side, making sure not to interruptany of the enchantment. you also begin to work on the finer elementsof the seat portion of it, which in itself will havea gimbal hinge
to adjust based on positioning, which will allow herto actually functionally sit on the seat. we'll get to that in a minute. the rest of you guys,anything else you're doing other than just drinkingin the time you have left? sam: yeah, i go to see vex real quick. laura: me?sam: yeah. oi, you. oi. laura: hey, what's going on? sam: remember when i did you a favor,
and you came to my room,and i taught you how to fly the broom? laura: i very much remember that, scanlan. sam: and you said you owed me one? laura: i owe you so much. sam: here's the payback.laura: oh, no. sam: you have to wearthis fucking hat every time you fly. laura: this pointy motherfucker? liam: oh my gods.taliesin: that was a long walk! marisha: such a long walk!taliesin: wow.
liam: playing a long game. laura: how's it look? sam: it looks really cool. laura: well, there you go. laura: i will gladlydo this for you, scanlan. sam: thank you. laura: does this mean we're even?this hat makes us even? sam: that would make me so happy. taliesin: (snorts)liam: (giggling) wow.
sam: the debt is paid. matt: as she cackles loudly, the hat atop her headis everything you hoped for. (all crack up) sam: yes! ashley: oh, vex, that hat is amazing!laura: (cackles) travis: she's actually cackling. liam: oh, you devious motherfucker. taliesin: wow.
laura: i fucking like it. i appreciate it.ashley: i think it looks amazing. sam: the silhouetteis beautiful on you. liam: it's very aerodynamic. ashley: (laughs) oh my god.liam: if you're going straight up. laura: i would try it out, but i don't have the broom on meright now, so. matt: another tinker check. taliesin: (whispering) oh, bastard.marisha: (chanting) go, go, go! matt: you guys are drinking,carousing in a local tavern,
laughing at her new hat. taliesin: that's a 25. matt: 25? taliesin: proficiency, dex, and roll. matt: as the wee hours begin to click by, the rest of you have finishedyour evening of drinking - laura: i turn the hat at an angleand make it look a little more dashing. matt: there you go. yeah, it's more stylistic.it's more vex'ahlia.
laura: i like it.travis: "vex'ahlia." liam: can i squeeze inone mini-conversation before the end of it all? matt: yes. i'm going to start up here. as the evening progresses,up to that point in time, you're battling and battlingwith this gimbal, and making sure that everything itselfcan sustain the necessary weight without putting too much pressureon a single point within the broom to actually splinter the woodor damage the actual object.
you're not even paying attention to the factthat there's very little airflow and the sweat'sbeen dripping off of your face, as you just needto get this project done. and in the moment, it finally hits you,not knowing what time it is, but you lift it up in your hands,and you can see the completed work. hoping it will function.we shall see. but for now, your project is done. taliesin: i've got a wonderful little elven signature on the bottom,
which i will tell you what it saysin just a little special signature, and i put it aside. i write down quick little notes for some stuff that's to be taken care ofwhile we're away, and i go find the bloody barthat they have crashed. taliesin: i'll take the broom. laura: i hand him his drinkas soon as he comes in. taliesin: i hand you a broom. ashley: percy!laura: (excited shout)
taliesin: at the very bottom in elven,scribed very gently with a twig, it says in elven,"death from above." sam: ooh. ashley: (laughing) oh, yes.travis: oh. laura: percy, you've outdone yourself. marisha: you and the names. ashley: (gasps) that's amazing. sam: give it a try. laura: i just sit on it,raise up a little,
take my hands off the broom - marisha: i reach over and i grab the chickenthat i'm sure is on the table, and i say, "vex, pull!" taliesin: (yelps) matt: roll an attack. laura: oh, god.do i have to roll disadvantage? matt: nope.
laura: ha ha!that's right, and it's a 30! (excited cheers) matt: the arrow smashesinto the side of the half-eaten chicken, which, in your drunken state,was not on your plate, and you hear a voice go, "hey, that was my meal!" (arrow impact) taliesin: it's a 214-year-old pub. oh, god. marisha: (weakly) sorry!
matt: the chicken,now stapled to the wall by the arrow, and the somewhatfrustrated-looking gentleman who is on the other side of the table, who has just been eating on his own,is like - "how are you going to pay for that?" laura: i'm sorry, sir. no, it's all right.marisha: (stuttering) laura: i fly upand i grab it off the wall and i bring it back down. matt: he hasn't really noticedthe flight thing at this point,
so he's just like, "(awed) oh." marisha: i take my fire handsand i blacken it and make it like a nice shish kebab. laura: you burned it. thank you. marisha: just a little -i'm getting the dirt off of it. i'm getting the hair off of it. laura: sorry it's burned now,but there you go. marisha: there's a little hair on it.matt: "it's okay."
ashley: a little extra cooked. taliesin: a round for the gentleman. matt: "it's burned."laura: yes. charred. it's nice and charred. man with chicken: (weakly) thanks. marisha: i'm not a cook.matt: "i can tell." marisha: it's arcane fire.what do you want from me? matt: "i want my chicken untouched." and he starts cutting into it,trying to find pieces that are edible. laura: i land next to my brother.
you wanted to talk to me. why? liam: what, you?i don't want to talk to you. laura: oh, well fuck it. i get up and start flying again. taliesin: i was going togo take a seat next to pike, at some point.i've got a letter for you. liam: i think we allwant to say goodbye to pike. that's what i was going to do. matt: as this is happening,while the flying display is happening
and you're really intenton watching all the mechanisms work and watching how it adjusts to her weight,and you want to be damn sure that everythingthat's supposed to move is. while this is happening... and i sit down next to herand i scootch her a little bit. thank you, pickle. ashley: thanks, vaxy. liam: i'm starting to gather that you don't haveas many answers as i thought,
but be that as it may,you're still a great inspiration to me. i still feellike i'm following in your footsteps. ashley: well...liam: take that for what it's worth. ashley: or flying in my footsteps, rather. liam: yeah.ashley: because that's pretty cool. liam: it is. it is pretty cool. fuck, we're going to miss you. ashley: i'm going to miss you.i'm going to miss you guys very much. but maybe i'll see you more often?
liam: if you need us, blink of an eye. blink of an eye, we'll come back. ashley: okay. (sighs) okay.and i'll just be there when i can. liam: we know. liam: it's going to hurt, but we know. ashley: yeah? liam: and you know that we all - all of us.that big asshole over there. ashley: that big asshole. liam: my twin, with the -
laura: i float down behind him - liam: she's behind me, isn't she?ashley: yes. laura: - and give him bunny ears behind his head. liam: that one.ashley: (laughs) hi, vex. liam: red, whitey, shorty. we're all going to miss you. ashley: (sighs)i'm going to miss you guys a lot. liam: cheers. ashley: cheers.liam: (toonk)
ashley: (drinking noises)laura: gulp, gulp, glub, glub, glub. liam: (sighs) all right.ashley: all right. liam: i'm going to tie one on. thanks. ashley: all right. bye, vax. matt: as you continue to drink, percy - marisha: keyleth just hollers, "vax! come sit by me." laura: (loudly) oooh! i mean, go for her... marisha: (yelling) shut the fuck up, vex!liam: or say nothing!
laura: say nothing.i won't say anything. i'm just going to keep flying around. marisha: that's it. matt: all right. as percy, you see the opportunity nowas vax moves to take that same spot next to pike. taliesin: oh, bloody hell,about fucking time. liam: (giggles)taliesin: (sighs) ashley: hi.
taliesin: you're intimidating as fuck,you know that? ashley: me?taliesin: yes. ashley: how?! taliesin: everyone's always worriedabout impressing you. ashley: impressing me? taliesin: yes, it's why we're rubbishwhen you're not around. everybody's trying to impress you. ashley: you know, i'm just rubbish.i'm just all the time rubbish. (laughs) taliesin: i know. believe me, i'm aware.
i hand her a letter, and say, "here's a list "of every terrible thingi've got going on in this city right now." taliesin: "so you'll knowwhat i've got cooking. "plus some peoplethat if you need particular things, "you can talk to in the city,who are friends of the family. "10 things to see in the citythat might be nice, "and my 10 favorite books in the library,in case you get bored." ashley: oh, percy.
sam: what to do in whitestonefor 48 hours. taliesin: exactly. taliesin: you're going tohave to kill some time, i'm sure. marisha: whitestone atlas obscura. ashley: i will make sureto visit all of these places and read all these things. taliesin: i'll tryand keep the kids safe, and i will try not to bethe thing that kills them, either. ashley: well - oh.
i have something for you. taliesin: hm? all right. sam: is it a profession of love?(laughs) damn it! ashley: when we went to my house,or, well, where i lived with wilhand... taliesin: i remember. ashley: i got somethingfrom underneath the bed, and - laura: (whispering) was it lacy panties?ashley: (laughs) yes, it's lacy panties. taliesin: i will wear them always. ashley: this is something
that's been in my familyfor a really long time, and i've been thinking about it, and i feel like i need to give it to you. so come closer to me real quick. it's a necklace.and just... don't take it off. taliesin: okay. i will keep it on. ashley: and it will keep you safe. ashley: you're welcome. taliesin: and pleasekeep all this safe, as well.
ashley: i will. and keep them safe,and keep yourself safe, please? taliesin: (sighs) let's all be safe. to that. ashley: cheers.taliesin: cheers, and god, taliesin: i hope they're making outin the next hour. ashley: same.taliesin: god, wouldn't that be lovely. laura: i float downand kick grog in the head and then float back up. travis: ow!
matt: make a perception check, grog. travis: shit! 6. matt: someone fuckingthrew something at your head. travis: who wants to goright fucking now? i was in the middleof a gorgeous cup of ale and i'm wearing half of it! sam: it was that guywith the burnt chicken. travis: i rush the guywith the burnt chicken and i pick him up,and i throw him across the tavern.
matt: "(screams)" travis: who's withthe burnt chicken piece of shit? matt: he slams onto a table. you can now seethere are two guys in the back, who are probablypart of the building crew here, look at each otherand roll up their sleeves. "we doing this?!" all: yeah!laura: big tavern brawl! matt: they rush in and start slugging at youand it goes into an old-style -
taliesin: outside. outside!laura: trinket! marisha: keyleth picks up two chickens,burns them with her hands, and chucks them at the guys. marisha: (shouting) food fight!travis: (laughing) yes! matt: a giant brawlbreaks out at this time. travis: (laughing) whole-tavern brawl. matt: you hear people laughing,and the music picks up more, and there's tables being tossed over. there's a hint of gingerness to it;no one's damaging the -
travis: not the face. not the face. matt: - you can see,in general, in the city, there's a lot of tension to get outfrom previous events, and there are a few folks in this town, in this particular tavern that are enjoying throwing a couple of punches and taking a few, and there are some folks that are watching, and enjoying watching, this fight go down. travis: (laughs) yes! amazing.
matt: and while no one here can throw a punchto really give you much of an issue, grog, it is fun to feel the energy again. travis: take a few, yes.taliesin: slap fight. travis: i sell them a bit morethan they're worth. matt: all right. as eventually,the fight dies down, another round of drinks are purchasedby those who are involved. you all find yourselvesnow into the late, late hours. once again, probably pushinganother sunrise in the next hour or so.
you gather youshould probably find yourselves to rest. taliesin: sleep, then leave.sleep, then leave. ashley: i give grog a big hug and say, ashley: you're my big brother, yeah?travis: yeah. ashley: please be safe. travis: i will. we're the original o.g.,you know that? ashley: yeah, we're the original o.g. travis: well, i guess original and ois redundant, but - ashley: yeah.travis: yeah.
ashley: original original g. travis: yeah, we're the o-o-g. ashley: oo-g. oog. matt: you guys make your wayback to whitestone castle. find a full evening's sleep. eventually, the late morning,early afternoon comes about. you're well-rested,and a night of good dreams come to you. in contrast to the bad night before,you do manage to get full rest. [no audio]
liam: - into my sister's room with a bowl of lukewarm lentil soup,and go, "oh, god, i'm still sick.(vomit noises)" laura: no, no!ashley: (laughs) liam: and throw it all over her. laura: you're such an asshole. liam: whoo! still got it, baby! and i run back to my roomand go to bed. matt: (giggles)
laura: i go take a shower. travis: ooh, ooh!can i find pike? and i say, "hey, wait. before i go, "do you want meto keep a special eye on scanlan, "since he proposed marriage?" ashley: oh. well,that offer is off the table. travis: what? ashley: oh.it's not happening anymore. travis: oh.
ashley: so, yeah, he's freeto have some good times at the old "lady houses"that you guys like to visit. the lady spas? marisha: lady spas?!taliesin: lady spas? ashley: whorehouses? liam: i'd rather go to the lady spas. ashley: you know what? i think he's not quite ready.i think it was just the idea of it. ashley: the idea of me.because i'm just really great.
travis: i mean, you really are.ashley: yeah. travis: he got a little swept up,carried away. ashley: yeah, he did. it happens. travis: is there anybodyi should keep a special eye on? sam: yes!taliesin: wow, just - ashley: oh. i have my eye on one already. travis: oh, yeah? travis: like, magically? travis: all right.
ashley: yeah. it's fine.travis: you just let me know. ashley: okay.travis: i'm an extra layer of protection. ashley: yeah. well. just be careful.keep yourself safe. travis: me?ashley: yeah! travis: that's never part of the plan. ashley: well, just don't maketoo crazy of decisions. travis: all right. hey! when i come back,those gauntlets of ogre strength? travis: i wanna see 'em super beat up.
travis: okay. we'll compare damage box.ashley: (doosh doosh doosh doosh doosh) travis: (buuh) laura: i run up behind pikeout of my shower and i twirl her around and i give you a big old hugand a kiss on the cheek. ashley: oh. ohh.laura: we'll be back soon, darling. ashley: okay. i hope so.laura: take care of everything. ashley: all right.laura: i ought to get dressed. ashley: yeah, will you - yeah. okay.
matt: the flushed gnome runs off. you guys all eventuallygather your materials, your weapons, your equipment, and anything elseyou need for the journey, and you all meet just on the outsideof the front doors to whitestone castle for a final goodbye. there waiting for you:allura, the realmseer, and gilmore. kima's off elsewhere right now. and cassandra follows up behindas you guys step out.
they all nod their heads. allura walks over to youand pats you on the shoulder. "don't worry.have faith, and when you return. "i'll know how to absolve youof this cursed individual. "and i think you'll have, hopefully, "something else even more helpfulin your midst." cassandra comes up by youand rests her chin on your shoulder. "percy, stay alive, please." taliesin: all right. (sighs)
matt: "i mean it." taliesin: i know. i plan on coming back.i'm not done. matt: "no, you're not." and she smacks you in the face. (dshh) taliesin: (sighs) i hate you. matt: once everyone else is looking,she rights herself again. she takes her coatand buttons it there in the middle. "i cannot express, truly, "how importantyour influence has been in this city,
"and i don't think you realize "just how many lives hereare for the better "since you'vewalked into our humble home. "and it is for that reason that i request, "on the behalfof all of us here in whitestone, "that you come back safe. "that is all. good luck." she puts her shoulders backand walks back into the castle. taliesin: at your service, lord cassandra.
matt: "don't call me that."taliesin: (laughs) matt: she walks back in. ashley: i put my shoulders backand do the same thing she does. and turn around and wave. ashley: i love you guys. (blows kiss)marisha: bye, pike. laura: bye, lord pike.travis: bye, pike. ashley: bye.vex and ashley: (laugh) liam: bye, pickle. ashley: bye, vaxy.
matt: allura and gilmorelook at each other. allura nodsand walks in the castle after pike, leaving gilmore there. gilmore looks at you all. "sorry about forgetting the huglast time. it wasn't my intent." laura: (laughs) totally fine, dear. matt: "i have no words.you all look fabulous. "if you find anything really amazingthat you don't need, "i'm trying to build up stock again.
"(chuckling) i kind of...lost two shops in the same month." laura: are you building another shop? matt: "well, i mean, eventually. "you've got to have long-term plans,my dear." laura: of course.we'll keep promoting you, then. matt: "please. i'm far beyondthe adventuring business, "and income's been stale for a while. "but stay safe. be careful.it's weird out there." sam: (laughs)
matt: "very, very weird out there." laura: (laughs)taliesin: so true. marisha: thank you, gilmore. travis: should we -since they're all smart and stuff - ask them anything in particularabout the feywild? marisha: yeah, yeah.any last words of wisdom for the feywild? matt: "it's weird out there." laura: okay.marisha: thank you. travis: deep.marisha: i think that was it.
matt: "take everything with caution. "trust nothing. "keep your eyes openand for the love of god, "absolve yourselfof any preconceptions." travis: shit. okay.marisha: all right. matt: "fly high, my bird." marisha: oh. matt: he walks upand gives you a kiss on the cheek, and then walks into the castleafter the rest.
taliesin: (quietly) see?that wasn't so hard, was it? marisha: (whispering) hush, percy. laura: well. sam: shall we? laura: oh, god. it's happening. marisha: all form a circle and hold hands. travis: oh, yeah,let's actually do it, yeah. laura: oh, it's really -liam: we're really doing it. ashley: i'm not here.laura: oh, pike's not here.
liam: ready, stubby? laura: hum - oh, yes. marisha: all right, everyone.close your eyes. sam: do we haveto say a magic word? marisha: no. just close your eyes.it helps - sam: can we say a magic word? marisha: if it makes you feel better,scanlan. sam: all right. marisha: close your eyes.it helps with the nausea.
taliesin: you could sing. marisha: and - sam, marisha, and liam:(gibberish noises) (laughter) laura: my pretty! sam: wait, did it happen already?we're still here. marisha: my pretty!laura: (cackles) matt: where are you specifying?where are you going? liam: (brooklyn accent)we're going to florida!
marisha: we're going to disney!taliesin: harry potter land! taliesin and marisha: harry potter land! travis: (laughing) epcot center. marisha: i'm going to goto the one place i know, which is the portaljust beyond where grog entered. matt: you haven't been in there. marisha: but i knowthat there's a portal there, right? travis: there was a lakein the middle of the - liam: yeah, grog's girlfriend.
marisha: grog's girlfriend. sam: but we weren't in the feywild,were we? travis: no, no,it's a portal to the feywild. marisha: no, but i've got a vague idea.matt: okay. marisha: can i talk to - hang on, wait. marisha: grog!travis: what? marisha: remember your girlfriendin the feywild? travis: pfft. yeah. marisha: think about her and that placevery, very hard.
travis: which part? marisha: going there. laura: oh, it's happening?it's happening. okay, okay, okay, okay.i thought we already - marisha: think about grog's girlfriend. travis: peanut butter and jelly. liam: what did they do in there?we don't know, still. marisha: we don't know. sam: maybe we'll find out!
matt: for a moment,there's just this still quiet, and then this very cold breeze begins to pick uparound your feet (wind noise) and it's like someone smacked each of youon your back really hard (boomf). and with that,your vision flashes for a moment, and you look aboutand everything has changed. you step forwardinto the now-temperate air. you're struck immediately by the vibrant purples, blues, and pinksof a sunset sky
that envelops the clouds above you, just above the treelinethat surrounds you. the smell of fresh morning dewand poppy upon the breeze rolls past your nose and fills your senses as you look down and see yourself wading through what looks like two-foot-tall,knee- to thigh-high grass. vine-covered tree trunks wrapand rise around you, curling as they stretch upwardlike a bending dreamscape of hundreds of small bobbing fairy lights
that float in the shadowed distanceof the forest. you can see what looks to bea few small pools of water that have gathered in this small gladethat surrounds you. and that's wherewe'll pick up next week. ashley: oh.laura: it sounds beautiful. matt: or two weeks from now, i guess. laura: oh, man, that's right.ashley: boo. travis: but we'll be back.we'll do stuff next week. matt: you guys'll be back next weekfor your own little fun time.
laura: yeah, we'll do something. matt: we'll be back to pick up that line,as the party enters the feywild, in two weeks. taliesin: man.sam: who knows what we'll encounter. matt: it's going to be real interestinghere in the feywild. all right, so first and foremost, thanks again to loot cratefor being our awesome sponsors. travis: we're wearingthese awesome shirts. keyleth's got one. i'm rocking -
marisha: yeah, everyone'sbeen tweeting at me, asking "where did you getyour awesome shirt?" uh, loot crate, what. ashley: loot crate!travis: alex murphy, robocop, holla. liam: and our discount! matt: and ashley,if you hadn't picked up at this point, is going back to new yorkto shoot on the next season of blindspot. liam: no! no!laura: oh, no... ashley: okay, wait, hold on a second.sam: wait, what does she have?
ashley: guys, for those of youin the critter community who made this amazing quilt. this is going to come with meand be on my bed, and i'll snuggle it. marisha: oh my god, that's amazing! laura: they made herthe most amazing quilt! ashley: i love this so much.sam: is that a pike quilt? ashley: yes.liam: yes, it is. laura: and it's got art.ashley: it has all the art on it - ashley: - and then on the sidesit's just little quotes and things.
travis: aim long, strike true,a war god's blessing upon you. ashley: people wrote on twitterlaura: it's so amazing. marisha: that's amazing!travis: so many good messages. ashley: never stop being yourself.you empower others to be themselves - oh, okay, now i'm just reading, like - ashley: i thought it was going to be - i wasn't tryingto read compliments about myself. matt: i love this blanket.it tells me how awesome i am. travis: i like your hair!laura: i'm pretty awesome.
ashley: your hair's great! i love it. liam: us pack of nerdsare going to miss you more than vox machina misses pike. ashley: oh, goodness.travis: oh, yeah. liam: we're going to miss you. ashley: i'm going to miss you guysso much. travis: we're going to steal you backwhenever we can. matt: we got better internetin the studio for you. laura: yeah, it's true.ashley: what's he say, again?
matt: we got better internetin the studio specifically for you. laura: so it'll be faster.ashley: okay. all right. matt: when you can, skype in. ashley: all right. when i can, skype in. matt: i know it's not the same. ashley: astral projection pike. (laughs)travis: (laughs) yeah. laura: no, no, no, you have the stone.you'll be really there. ashley: oh, i'll be really there.that's right. that's right. yes. we're going to make it work.
matt: i'll make it work. ashley: matt will have to make it -matt: i'll figure it out. it's my job. liam: pike in a boxis better than no pike. matt, taliesin, and marisha: (singing) it's a pike in a box, ooh. ashley: it's a pike in a box! matt, marisha, taliesin, and laura:(singing) pike in a box, baaabe. (singing peters out) matt: (singing) step one, put a holein that box… put a pike in that box? marisha: oh, god!
matt: not continuing the song... matt: guys,thank you so much for watching. i hope you enjoyed your time. looking forward to seeing all you folksin australia next week. it's going to be awesome.we'll see you guys saturday night. i believe it'll be taliesin, marisha - marisha and taliesin:not taliesin. matt: not taliesin, sorry.liam, marisha, laura, and travis are going to play some deadlandsfor a couple of hours
on our awesome charity stream. check us out tomorrow, starting at 5pm. check out the rest of the stream for all the awesome contentthey're putting up there, guys. all: saturday. matt: sorry. saturday. friday. it's -taliesin: it technically is tomorrow. matt: no, it's not tomorrow yet. sorry.starts tomorrow at 7pm, or 5pm. it starts tomorrow at 7pm,and then goes on. lucas: starts tomorrow at 7pm!
matt: thank you. tomorrow at 7pm.it goes until saturday at 7pm. my apologies.i've had a lot on my mind today. but yeah. so we'll see you guysthroughout the stream. until then, is it thursday yet? have a good night, guys.
Tidak ada komentar
Posting Komentar